Loveline Part 2

(The Crew smiles as thongs are being thrown at the stage.)

Kells: "Welcome back to Loveline. As you can see, we are short one member. Jules hopped a flight to Florida to check on poor James."

Abbs: "She was VERY worried about him and his problem."

(Ash coughs VERY loudly.)

Kells: "Anyway, please welcome the newest member of the EOS Crew, Kate, to the panel!"

(Kate walks out and smiles, waving, almost tripping on the massive amount of thongs on the stage. She gets up quickly and sits down as if nothing ever happened.)

Kate: "Hey hey."

Ash: "Yo yo."

(No on else understanding the inside joke, everyone moves on.)

Kells: "Um...let's move on to our next caller. His name is Scott from Disney World...uh...what?"

(The Crew whispers amongst themselves for a moment, then start to smile.)

Kells: "Scott's lyin' his ass off, but that's okay. Scott? Are ya there?"

Scott: "Ah....aim.....here....Kel....lay..."

The Crew: "Hey, Scott."

Scott: "How......day.......lay.....dees...."

Kells: "Welcome to Loveline. What do you need to talk about?"

Scott: "People....are.....not.........likin'.....mah....noo....look..."

Ash: "What does this NEW LOOK consist of?"

Scott: "Wel.....Ah groo mah hair out..."

Kate: "Ew. Scott, no more, please."

Kat: "So what exactly is the problem?"

Scott: "Whe-hell...Ah..whaz...fi-un...wheth...mah...noo...su-pur...sex-ah...look...bu-at...won...uh...the...gu-ays...sho-owed...meh...uh...lett-ah...fr-um....ah...fan...who-uh...sayed...tha-ut...Ah...loo-oked...lyek...Sat-un.."

*Translation for those without speech problems..."Well, I was fine with my new super sexy look, but one of the guys showed me a letter from a fan who said that I looked like Satan*

(The Crew all shifts uncomfortably, Ash's face turning as red as a tomato.)

Scott: "Wh-ut..can...Ah...doo...ab...out...this-uh?"

(Ash suddenly looks very uncomfortable, her mouth opening and closing quickly. The other crew members look at Ash, realizing what's about to happen a second too late)

Ash: "Cut your hair! Shampoo is a GOOD thing! Remember that! Shave that hideous thing growing on your chin! Wear clothes that cost more than my college education, not ones that I could buy with my lunch money! For Christ's sake child, BATHE!"

(The other crew members stared at Ash open mouthed. After a moment Kate starts to giggle, then Abby, soon the entire crew is cackling, and the show quickly cuts to a commerical. 'Scott' is left whimpering into the phone.)

�2000 Eyes of Stone

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