Two weeks pass before I have another dream that was intended to clear my
confusion, but instead only adds on.
I am back on the dirty street where I died, once again walking. The moon
shines down on me, illuminating my shiny hair. The wind whistles yet
chills, and I snuggle into my leather coat. Nothing unusual.
Except there is a man several feet ahead of me, tall and draped completely in
black clothes. He walks quickly, and I feel as if I should catch him. But he
walks so fast, I doubt I can catch him.
I start to walk faster, but it�s almost as if the faster I walk, the faster he
walks. I don�t know who he is, but I know I need to catch up with him.
I eventually start to run after him. After what seems to be centuries, I catch
up with him. I take hold of his shoulder, and just as he is about to turn
around, an ear-piercing shriek rings through the air.
I bolt upright, and see Alex laying in his bunk, sweat pouring down his
forehead and crying profusely. �Wake up! Please wake up! Gwen, baby,
wake up!�
I jump out of my bunk and reach Alex, who�s still crying. I wrap my arms
around him, and he wakes up, his eyes wide and frightened. He turns to
me, absolutely pale, and I realize what he has seen.
�She was in the car...and she didn�t wake up.�
Fresh tears are flowing down his cheeks, and I fear that his body will split in
two, he�s crying so hard. I hold him tighter to my chest, softly rocking him
back and forth.
�Just cry. Get it out.�
He takes my advice and I am drenched in tears. But I am not bothered. I
consider it a blessing to hold him in my arms, just like I used to. The only
difference is that I have the size advantage now.
�I just want her to wake up. Why won�t she wake up?�
The words have hit too close to home. I can tell him right here. Then he
would know, and no longer be tortured.
I can wish, can�t I? Instead I just hold him, and he clings to me, as if I am
his only surviving link to me, as twisted as it sounds. He only sees Nick,
though, and in his eyes, Nick is only his link to his beloved Gwennie.
�I would give anything to see her. I hate seeing her in my dreams. I just want
to see her.�
My heart is crying along with him, yet he doesn�t know. My body does not
betray me. My emotions, what I really feel, are not revealed. He only sees my
sympathy, and perhaps a glimpse of pain.
�She wants the same, too.�
I cannot believe such words have filtered out of my mouth! Why don�t I just come
out and say, �Gwen Barlow, in the flesh and back with a bang!� It would only
kill him. He needed to come to the realization that Nick is really me himself.
Alex is staring at me in complete shock. My words have set off many
questions in his mind, yet I cannot see what those questions are. His grief
clouds everything.
�You can rest assure she wants to see you, too. She walks, Bone, and
won�t stop until you�re together.�
These are not my words. Something has said them. But my mind did not
form them. Where have they come from?
�AJ!�
�Oh my God, are you all right?�
�What happened?�
The others have joined us, their hair rumpled and eyes wide in shock and
horror. I get the feeling that this isn�t unusual, but every time is just as
frightening as the first time.
�He had a bad dream.�
I keep Alex close to me, his head resting on my chest, and I know he can
hear my hearbeat. The sound has calmed him down, for he is no longer
crying, his breathing calming, and his body relaxing.
�It�s fine. All fine.�
The rest of the guys watch us curiously, Alex because he has never had a
dream this terrifying, and me because they have never seen this soothing,
comforting side of Nick. They aren�t sure how I have managed to calm him so
quickly, but it is a God send. They hate to see him suffer. Alex�s breathing is
almost normal, and he has regained his color. I look at the others, silently
telling them I have this under control. They return back to their bunks, hoping
I am right.
�Come on, you need some sleep.�
I release him, and he crawls back underneath his blankets, like a child
waiting to be tucked in. I pull the covers up, but he suddenly reaches out and
places a hand on my heart.
�Your heart beats like hers.�
�Who?�
�Gwen.� He looks up, catches my eye, and smiles. �Your heart has the
same rhythm as hers.�
I am a little shaken, but I pretend it doesn�t phase me. �You need to sleep,
Bone.�
He rolls over onto his side, and I return to my bunk across from his, my
eyes never leaving his. I have to watch him, just in case he has another bad
dream.
