I’m somewhat of a claustrophobic. I’ve never liked people hovering over
me, and I HATE people to touch me. It wasn’t like I had been abused or
molested; I was just born that way. It took Alex a long time to understand that.
And now, I learn I have to stay on a small, cramped up bus with the guys. A very
crowded bus.
Outwardly, I act as if this is normal, much like Nick would. Inside, I’m
having a nervous breakdown; screaming, crying, hyperventilating...the
whole enchilada.
I really hate confined places.
I’ve managed to survive for an hour now, much to my amazement. We’ve
stopped at some gas station, and I notice a Best Buy near it. Hmm. An idea is
forming.
As if Brian is reading my mind, he runs by and says, “Hey, Frack, why don’t we
go to Best Buy real quick? I need to get some tunes!”
Brian. I had always suspected he was an angel. Now he is a mind-reading
angel. “I was just thinking the same thing. Let’s go.”
After disguising ourselves a bit, we head off the bus and into Best Buy.
Brian wants to get another copy of Brian McKnight’s “Back At One”, which
had been apparently destroyed a couple of days ago. I knew exactly what I
wanted.
I wanted my two favorite CDs; Early Days: The Best of Led Zeppelin Volume One,
and Experience Hendrix: The Best of Jimi Hendrix.
Led Zeppelin and Jimi Hendrix are my two favorite groups. Jimi Hendrix
was God, and “Stairway to Heaven” was only the greatest song to ever
grace this world. Robert Plant was brilliant, and the entire human
population should be gathered in New York so they can bow down to
Jimmy Page.
But that’s just my opinion.
We have our CDs and are ready to go. We are standing in line when Brian
notices the CDs in my hand.
“When did you start listening to Led Zeppelin and Jimi Hendrix?”
“I heard ‘Purple Haze’ and ‘Stairway to Heaven’ and liked them.”
Brian’s face suddenly clouds over, and he stares at me. “Didn’t Gwen listen to
them?”
This isn’t good. All right, Gwen, damage control is needed. “Yeah. She
always begged me to listen to them. I thought I should at least give them a
chance. You know. For her sake.” It’s not a lie. They would enhance what little
musical taste he had, I had always told him.
Brian is silent, uncomfortable in the position he has placed himself in. “Do you
miss her?”
We have paid for our CDs and are quickly walking back to the bus. I am not in
the position to discuss Nick’s feelings for me. That would be wrong. I opt to
remain silent, hoping he will drop it.
“I’m sorry. It’s none of my business. But whenever you need someone to
talk to, I’m here. I mean, I liked her, too.”
I look at Brian’s honest face, and smile. Nick is lucky to have him. Before he
steps onto the bus, I reach forward and hug him, whispering, “Thanks.” in his
ear. He is surprised by my burst of affection, but is smiling as he walks onto
the bus.
“I know, I know, you missed me so much, I decided to return just for you!” I
step onto the bus, giving Howie a goofy grin. I suddenly feel piercing eyes on
me. I turn my head, and Alex is staring at me. He wants to say something, but he
looks at Howie, trying to ignore me.
I had forgot, I used to say that a lot. Geez, I was great at pretending to be
Nick. I know what Alex is thinking, though. He thinks Nick is losing it, that he
misses me and is adopting my personality to help grieve.
