After my very eye-opening dream that reveals absolutely nothing about
where Nick is, I watch some TV, but nothing captures my attention. I try
watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, my favorite TV show, but I am so lost. I
realize Angel has left, he has his own show, but where is Oz? What is Buffy
doing with Riley? And isn�t Faith still in a coma?
I hear a knock on my door, and I stand up to open it. Alex. I forgot he was
coming back. He wants to talk.
�Come in.�
Alex steps inside, and I shut the door behind him. Old habits die hard, and I
check him out from behind. Still beautiful, still firm. Peeking out of his
wifebeater is a new black and red dragon tattoo. I want to rake my nails over
it, feel his smooth, fine skin.
I was always the perverted sister of the Barlow family.
�What�s up, Bone?�
I remember Nick calling Alex Bone many times, and for now, I have to keep up the
charade that I�m really Nick. I have to ease Alex into the idea of me in Nick�s
body.
�Are ya feeling better?�
He turns and looks at me, his eyes studying my face. He does this. He
intensely looks at whoever he speaks to. He always told me that he was
certain he and I were meant to be because I was the only person who could stare
him back when he did that. The comment had always made me smile.
�Yeah. I slept a little, and the pain has subsided.�
He stares at me curiously. Something is on his mind. I feel the weight of it
pressing down.
�There�s something else. What is it?�
Alex is quiet, trying to find kind words to express his worry. Since when does
my beautiful Alex try to express himself tactfully? His honesty is one of his
most endearing qualities.
He finally turns to face me, somber. �Before you fell and knocked yourself out,
you...you...you cried out for Gwen.�
My mouth drops open at the sound of my name and from what Alex has
told me. Nick cried out for me? Why?
Did he know what was going to happen?
My silence unsettles Alex. He expects an answer but I cannot give him one. How
can I answer for Nick? I can only keep my face from him so he can�t look.
�I sometimes forget you guys were close.�
I look up at Alex, and his eyes are boring into me. It is in that instant that I
see how much he misses me.
�We have to stick together, Nick. She...she would want it that way. No pun
intended.�
I stare him in the eye. He doesn�t know how true his words are...if only we
could find Nick.
�You�re right. She would...she�d hate to see us suffer.�
Alex nods his head sadly, and it breaks my heart. If I could only touch his
face, run my fingers through his hair, tell him I�m here and won�t leave again.
But if I do, he will only see Nick and recoil in horror.
I have to take it slow.
Suddenly, he looks at me, very intensely. �Are you sure you�re okay?�
�I�ll be okay.�
Alex nods, and places a hand on my shoulder. It is meant as a comforting
gesture, but there�s something behind that gentle touch, something that
can�t be named. His hand lingers there for a moment, then he leaves the
room.
This is utterly depressing. I had expected a warm reunion, filled with happy
tears and a night that would be forever remembered, if you know what I mean.
Instead, I�m stuck alone, in a hotel room, watching my favorite TV show even
though I had been gone for so long I had no clue what was going on.
