After discovering that I was in Nick’s body, I decide to sleep. Yes, sleep. Sleep would clear this all up.

I’ve always had vivid dreams. When I dream, I feel everything in the dream. The most beautiful colors, emotions, and images are in my dreams. Yet my dreams are like cryptic messages sent to me, to warn me of things that are to come.

I had a dream about dying about a week before my death. It was really weird. In that dream, I died a different death than my actual death. It had scared me, and I refused to tell Alex about it. Maybe I should have told him. Maybe if I had, I’d be here.

Ah, dwelling on the past. Nothing like regret.

Of course, I dream as I sleep. And of course, it isn’t a normal “This is silly nonsense” dream. None of my dreams fall into that category.

Instead I’m on a mountain, standing at the very top, staring into the beautiful blue sky. The mountain is not ordinary. It is sacred and holy, where God himself has walked. I can feel it.

I am barefoot, and the sun shines on me, but I can actually feel the rays warming my skin...a sensation I haven’t felt in a long time.

The sky is a mix of blue, orange, and red, lavender mixed in, and I couldn’t have asked for a better picture. True beauty is rare, and I appreciate it in all forms. Because Alex has true beauty, I am devoted to him.

My dress blows in the wind, and I close my mind. I am savoring the feel of the sun. It’s been so long, and I actually feel it becoming one with my body. I decide tomorrow to go sunbathing. Nick needs some sun anyway.

The comfortable, easy silence doesn’t last. I don’t actually hear a voice, but the wind whispers to me.

“What is it you seek, Gwen?”

What do I start with? I have so many questions. Which one do I start with?

“Where’s Nick?”

The wind doesn’t immediately reply. Figures. I’m probably never going to have any of my questions answered straight on. Just a bunch of bullshit that makes no sense until it’s too late.

“Does it really matter, Gwen? You’re where you’ve always wanted to be.”

I sigh deeply, finally opening my eyes. I almost expect to see someone around me, but I am without human company on this mountain, with only the color-awashed sky and the soft wind.

“But why am I suddenly there?”

“Because it’s just that way.”

Damn it, that’s not an answer! I am sick of philosophical nonsense that doesn’t answer anything! I had been dead and I’m back in someone else’s body! I needed to fuckin’ know!

“Is Nick dead?”

The voice in the wind considers my question thoughtfully. The silence tells me so. “No, he’s not. He will never die. No one ever really dies. You didn’t die.”

I cannot help myself. I launch into my smart-ass mode. “Really? Tell that to the freezing cold body in some cramped up coffin, its flesh rotting away because of some psycho-obsessed bitch.”

My words replay in my mind. Some psycho-obsessed bitch? What am I talking about? I’m not sure. I let the comment slide, since it’s not important right now.

“The essence of a person is not their body, Gwen. It is their soul. And doesn’t your soul live on?”

Damn. The voice was right. I hated being told wrong.

“Your soul lives, but it’s just in another body. Are you going to tell me that it is wrong for you to be in a man’s body because you’re in love with a man?”

Alex. An alarm goes off in my mind. He doesn’t know that Gwen Barlow lives in Nick Carter’s body. What will happen if he finds out? Will it be like old times? Or will he stay away, just because I now appear to be a man?

Does he love my soul?

“It is a question only he can answer.”

Oh Lord. Now this voice was reading my thoughts. It was bad enough that Nick could do that, but now...were my thoughts just appearing on my forehead as I thought them?

“Where is Nick?”

The wind has become warmer, and a ocean-like smell invades my nose...Nick loved the ocean. Was he here, watching me?

“He is happy. That is what is important.”

“Why is he happy?”

“He’s human, Gwen. Seeing the wronged receive their wish makes him happy.”