He looked over at the sleeping girl and back to her diary.
He turned to the latest entry and read.
He put the diary back at it's original place after he finished reading and walked over to Faith to pull up her blankets
for her as she had kicked them off.
He placed a light kiss on her forehead and turned to leave the room.
Nick rolled to the side of his bed and looked at the clock. 3:40am.
He couldn't get to sleep as he kept thinking about what Faith had written in her diary.
"This can't be possible..." he said to himself.
"I thought she always treated me like her brother..."
He recalled all the entries that he had read just now and the last entry that he read flow back to his mind.
'...Kev just asked me whether will I be going back to visit Mum and Big Bro with
him...how can I go back when I can't even...can't even live till then...Why must I have this stupid
heart problem? Why is Brian blessed each and every time and I have to die? Why...? I can't believe
that I will be leaving them soon...I can't...I guess I can't get my Christmas wish, a visit from Santa and
a ride in his sleigh. But all I hope is before I die, Nick will say 'I Love You' to me and hold me in his
arms.... even if he is lying...'
"Heart problem?? Dammit..." Nick kicked his bed covers aside,
jump out of his bed and rushed to Faith's room.
He opened the door carefully so that he would not wake Faith up.
He went over the desk and picked up the diary again, turning to the latest entry.
"God...why didn't she tell us? No wonder she was behaving so strangely at dinner today..."
"Please don't tell Kevin and the rest..."
"Huh?" Nick turned around and discovered that Faith was sitting up on her bed.
Under the dim light, he could see that Faith had been crying.
"Please? I don't want them to worry for me and I hate to see Kevin being sad."
she said as another tear trickled down her cheeks.
Nick walked over to her bed and sat down beside her, putting her diary back onto the desk.
He reached out his hand and wiped her tears away, another hand guiding her head onto his shoulder.
"My Christmas Angel, don't cry...nothing will happen to you. I'll be there to protect you.
No one can take you away...no..."
"Nick, I don't want to...die...I don't want..."
Faith cried even harder and held onto Nick tightly.
Nick tried to calm himself down before he spoke again.
"When did you discover it?"
Faith looked up at Nick and wiped away her tears.
"After the first week you guys left for the tour last month, I started having pains in my chest.
I never told Leighanne and the rest. This continued for another week and I couldn't stand the pain
anymore and so I went to see a doctor. When the report got out after 3 days, they...they told
me that my heart is starting to lose its function. I need to have a heart replacement as soon as possible or..."
Faith couldn't continue on and started to cry again.
"Or what?" Nick asked.
"Or I'll die anytime..."
"No..." Nick pulled Faith to him and hugged her. He hugged her very tightly, afraid of losing her.
Faith, suddenly aware that Nick was hugging her so tight, pushed him away.
Her action startled Nick.
"Why? I did something wrong?"
"No..."
"Faith...I...I love you." Nick said.
"Don't...don't say it."
"Why can't I say it? I love you and that is true."
"No. You say it out of sympathy. Look, you have Mandy and I think the both of you make the best couple.
Please don't do this, I can't hurt my best friend."
Nick grabbed her arms and look into her eyes.
"Faith listen. You're not hurting anyone and I did not say that out of sympathy.
Yes, I have Mandy but I always feel that between us there is always something missing.
I really don't know what I ever really wanted. Especially when I'm with you,
I have a special kind of feeling, which I can't explain. And whenever I am thinking about Mandy,
you come into my thoughts. I never knew that it's you that I am really looking
for until now...do you know that?"
"No.don't say anymore...I am going to die soon, there is no point in doing this."
"You will not die. No.cause I want you to be with me forever...forever be in my embrace. I love you."
"Nick..."
Faith knew that there is no turning back anymore and so she fell into Nick's arms.
"My angel..." Nick whispered as he squeezed Faith in his embrace.
"Promise me. Don't tell the rest about this, alright?"
"Alright...now, smile for me, won't you Christmas Angel?"
Faith looked at Nick and smiled, and Nick felt that it was the sweetest smile that he had ever seen.
Nick continued to hold her in his arms and rocked her to sleep.
After that, Nick left her room and went back to his room.
As he lay down, he looked out of the window and into the sky of stars.
"God, please bless Faith and don't take her away from us..." Nick said and closed his eyes, drifting into
dreamland with Faith on his mind.
