| INTERCEPTED PHONE CALL. We (me and Zuzana) have deciphered the tape and that�s what we got (sorry, the voices can�t be identified) VOICE#1: Btw, hope that Sean <indecipherable> clarified this matter to you: "I would guess that the great humanitarian Joey <indecipherable> had no hand or part in Shane doing this tsunami gig." VOICE#2: We didn't discuss it! He just told that he will be later, after 14th as he wants to see Celtic Connection gig... VOICE#1: Arrgghh, I wanted to hear that Joey himself organized the gig and donated 1 million euros (or pounds) to Indonesia. Would be good for promotion... VOICE#2: We can adhere to this position! Plus adopted 12 little worms... VOICE#1: And rescued a half-starved drowning baby by feeding him his last piece of bread. That always sounds well. VOICE#2: Hmmm... Won�t they call him paedophile? VOICE#1: They will. We need one of <indecipherable> to play a caring mother and dispell all the accusations. VOICE#2: They'll start screaming about bad influence!! Lechery in children presence, that's awful!!!! VOICE#1: Lechery?! I said caring mother, a sex-abstinent! VOICE#2: I have certain doubts about that "children involving" charity... Maybe it would be better never mention it! Just 1 million donation... absolutely neutral... VOICE#1: Donating a bit of the sum directly to orphans might help. VOICE#2: They will say he offered money for sex!!!! VOICE#1: OK, lets stick just to money. Though some heroic deed would be a "golden point"... VOICE#2: He rescued a pair of elephants? Mmm? Or giant turtles. We can even present a pile of 'elephants' muck... as an evidence VOICE#1: The biggest turtle that has ever walked the earth (or swam the seas). Greenpeace might come to congratulate him � and he might crown his show by donating some bucks to them. What about that? VOICE#2: OK, turtle muck! VOICE#1: Joey�s clothes will have to be stained by it... to make things believable... VOICE#2: OK, he will be in tuxedo onstage but Greenpeacer can show his t-shirt with signs of his feat! VOICE#1: White tuxedo? VOICE#2: Green tuxedo! And he will decently drop his eyes and start picking the stage with his toe... VOICE#1: And then he will bow and pull a tiny frog out of his boot. Another saved creature! And enormously rare species. Hooray! VOICE#2: So we got the scenario! VOICE#1: Yes! Now you have to contact Joey and I will hire Greenpeacers . VOICE#2: Oh! He should play cupla tunes, whistle and sax, and Shane will come onstage and light his fag... in the very end... everybody will think Shane will do a song but he will just light Joey's fag and fuck off... wiping his eyes in deep emotions... VOICE#1: Brilliant!! And Shane will then go to clean up some devastated beach, hand in hand with Vicky.... VOICE#2: Yes! And they will be together ever after, team work unites! VOICE#1: Yes!! And Ronan and Maire will sing Fairytale Of NY over the happy-ending credits. VOICE#2: You call it happy end??????It's not a thriller, have mercy!! VOICE#1: We need some dramatic flavour!! And you saw how Ronan is able to stir up emotions! End of the tape |
| 13.01.2005 |