| Positive Parenting and Discipline |
| "Oh man, there is no way my kid would get away with that" . . . "I would never allow my child to act that way" . . . "I would spank him so hard ...". Yes, these are the things I could be heard saying from time to time before I had children. And it was not that I didn't know what I was talking about. I had been working with children since I was in Jr. High. Every Sunday teaching Childrens Church, 5 yrs as a teacher at an Early Learning Center, then 2 years as a nanny. My life basically revolved around kids (and still does). I was a HUGE advocate of spankings and would get so frusturated dealing with other peoples children and NOT being able to spank them! So how did I get from being a huge spanking advocate to believing in not spanking or even "punishing"? I had children of my own and my parenting instincts kicked in! See, I have control issues when it comes to kids. I thought (and still think at times) that I have to completely control these little people. What I was not seeing is that they ARE people. And though they need guidance, correction and teaching, they are also entitled to their feelings and to our respect. But in order to be the type of parent I desired I needed to start with my control and anger issues. I came to the realization that God was leading me away from spanking my children. I was raised by wonderful Godly parents. I was spanked . . . often. Did it produce anger? Sure, but regardless, I think my parents did a wonderful job raising 5 daughters (just ask anyone who knows our family) and they did the best they knew how. But when listening to my instincts when it came to pregnancy and birth, I simply couldn't *tune them out* when it came to parenting. Still, it wasn't till my son was around 2 that I realized that I didn't want to spank. I tried time-outs and they just did't seem right either. I just couldn't decide what form of "discipline" I wanted to use. Everything I had done in the past with my children had been to form bonds, to keep them safe etc. A gentle birth, a peaceful entrance into the world, meeting their needs, keeping them close. I just knew there had to be a form of discipline that fit in with what I thought was a very instinctual, very basic way to raise my kids, and I found that in positive discipline. |
| What is Positive Discipline? |
| Positive, gentle discipline is discipline without using punishments like spanking and time-outs which isolate a child and can cause resentment and anger. Positive discipline is more teaching and guidance. You provide boundries for your child and help them to understand and respect these boundries. You allow them to experience natural consequences. You help them to develop the skills to solve problems on their own. It is not controlling your child but rather teaching him to control himself and develop an inner discipline that will benefit him throughout his entire life. This is something I struggle with daily. It is not easy and, not being raised this way, it does not come naturally. I am constantly learning tools and trying to incorporate them into our life but I am getting there. And is not a quick fix. Spanking may produce quicker results for the time being but may back-fire in the future. Positive discipline helps the child to develop skills that will serve them their entire life and keeps their trust and confidence intact. |
| Christian Positive Discipline Sites Arms Of Love Family Fellowship Gentle Christian Mothers Gently Disciplining - excellent info from the Wigleys What is Positive Discipline - from Lisa's joyful parenting pages Positive Discipline Sites Positive Discipline Resource Center The official site of Positive Discipline The Awair Parenting Institute The Natural Child Project The Center for Nonviolent Communication Spanking A Study of "The Rod" in Scriptures The Spanking Files - spanking articles by Crystol Lutton Should I Spank my Child? - from Christianity Today.com Why We don't Spank - by Dr. Sears Dr Sears on Spanking - includes 10 reasons not to hit a child Never Hit a Child.org - the no spanking page |
| And he said "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter teh kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me." Matthew 18:3,5 |
| He tends is flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young" Isiah 40:11 |
| I hope to be able to add more information on this page as my knowledge and experiences with positive parenting and discipline grows. But for now, check out these links which opened my eyes and provided me with a wealth of information! |
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| "Parents do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Eph. 6:4 |