| Our EC Journey |
| Well, I started some EC with Xian when he was 9mo. By this time though they have pretty much "learned" to go in their diaper so it is MUCH harder and you have to spend more time with it. But it can be done. Well I wasn't really trying to be "successful" I just wanted to give him the chance to go in the potty if he needed/wanted and help him to become more aware of his elimination. So mostly I just let him run around naked at times (more often in the summer then winter). He did go in the potty some. I didn't do it out or at night, just when it was convenient. He was out of diapers by 25mo. I knew that I wanted to start it earlier with my next. So when dd was 6 wks I started leaving her wrap off her CD and observing when she peed and making the cueing noise (pssss). It was amazing, like a light came on!! I realized that all this time when she had been fussing, and I had stupidly been trying to console her or figure out what was wrong, she was really trying to tell me she had to pee. This was especially true of when she would fuss and pull off the breast. I though she needed to burp . . . duh!! Once observing her though, I realized that every time she did this it was because she needed to pee. So after a few days I decided to just jump on in. The first day I only caught like 3 pees. I was taking her to the sink and it took a lot of time (she would pee like every 20-40min.) I will say though that there is nothing like catching a pee for the first time. You are like WOW!! It really works!! So the next day I got a bowl from the kitchen and just kind of kept it with me. When she fussed or acted like she had to go I would hold it under her, make the "psss" sound and lo and behold she would pee (or poop)!! I think I missed like 3-4 pees that day (and for the next month or so). It was very easy. Time consuming yes, but so it changing a diaper if you do it as often as you should. I wasn't going to stress over doing it 100% of the time (when out, at night etc.). I figured I would just take it slowly at first. If I couldn't take her to the potty I would explain that I was putting a diaper on her and if she had to go she should just go in the diaper and I would change her as soon as I could. The first time we went out was to church that Sunday. After the service I went to change her diaper and she was dry!! (after over an hour out, she had never done that before). So, not being in a bathroom, I held her over her CD and told her to go ahead and potty. She peed and pooped!! Then I put another CD on her and we went to the store. When we got home she was again dry and again peed when I gave her the chance. I think that was when it really hit me that she really did catch on, this baby who was not even 2 mo. old!! Another thing to remember is that this is not a pressure thing. I didn't pressure dd to potty. I just gave her the opportunity to go when it seemed she was telling me she had to. Sometimes I would "read" her wrong and she wouldn't go (actually this happened a lot) but I would rather give her the chance than not. Like I said I kept (and keep) a CD on her a lot of the time. There are some who keep their babies naked all the time (and she was/is naked a lot), but after hearing stories of wet carpet, furniture, clothes, etc. I thought that might add more stress to the whole thing. It really was/is amazing and I was telling everyone about it! My family thought it was great! My mom was the first person besides me to take her to the potty. DD was fussing and mom thought that maybe she had to go, well she was right!! My mom said "I raised 5 kids and never knew". So the first couple of months went pretty much the same. I'd do it when out if I possibly could (and that is much easier in the summer then winter). Then around 4mo., when she started sitting up, she started going through a little strike. Her signals were already not as obvious (they tend to get more subtle as they get older) and she would fuss and stuff when I held her over the sink etc. She simply had better things to do ;-) and I wasn't going to force her to go. So for about a week we had lots of misses. Then it dawned on me that it wasn't that she didn't want to potty it was that she didn't want me to hold her to potty. So I started putting her on her Baby Bjorn little potty instead and things were even better than before. She could sit up on it by herself and seemed to really enjoy it. That is basically where we are now. I use a lot more timing and intuition then I did in the beginning because as I said, she does not signal as much. After naps, after nursing, when I take her out of the sling, whenever she acts like she has to go etc. I just put her on the potty and she sits there for a few minutes and plays and potties. She does this little thing where she kicks her legs and wiggles and dh calls it "potty ballet", LOL! I would say 19 times out of 20 when I take her off she has peed, pooped or both!! We probably average one miss a day (not counting when she is asleep) and some days are of course better than others. I do still hold her over the sink or potty but mostly when we are out. She is much better about signaling at friends or family's houses, she is more laid back at home. Now, once she gets to where she can crawl off the potty then we will have to reassess how we do things (but for now it is so easy it's not funny!!). Many babies will have a "strike" when they start to crawl and walk cause they are just more focused on learning these new tasks (so I am prepared for that). But they usually come back to communicating even more so after they have mastered their task. We were leaving her naked butt around the house or keeping just a cloth diaper (no cover) on her. At 8mo. we forgot the diapers and just started putting on pants. So she is more truly "diaper free". We used diapers at night and when out. At 8 1/2 mo. we took the big leap and went to the store with NO diapers!! She was wearing pants only!! From then on we have not used diapers out either. Well, if we are eating out and I know that she will not be in my lap the whole time I will put a cloth diaper (no wrap) on her to avoid a puddle in the chair should I miss her cue. She is almost 9mo. right now and so far we have had only 1 "miss" when out. It was no big deal, I got a little wet, her pants got a little wet, but we went on with what we were doing and we both dried quickly ;-) She refuses to use public bathrooms so we will let her pee in her potty in the car (but she often gets distracted) and she will sometimes pee while comfy in her car seat. So, being that the weather is warm, I will take her pants off and let her sit on a prefold while riding in the car. When I use to put a diaper on when out she would often pee in it. Now I believe she understands that she does not have a diaper on cause she obviously does not pee as often. She still uses diapers at night and I will still put a diaper on her should we be going somewhere (like church or a LLL meeting) where I think I may not be able to get her to a potty in time or I may be distracted and not focused on her cues. Oh, and I will sometimes put Xian's thick "training pants" undies on her under her pants, which is really cute. At 10mo. Piper is crawling more and seems to be going through that "strike" I hear everyone talking about. She can get off her potty by herself so she will often not want to sit there when she can be crawling around the house ;-) So I have been holding her over the sink or potty to pee more often and most of the time she will go. However, she has been very picky about where she wants to go, preferring the kitchen sink (which is the place I like her to use the least). She will also sometimes fuss and I know she needs to go so I will talk to her and tell her it is OK, to relax and let it out and usually she does. When she is crawling around (which isn't often since she still prefers to be "in-arms") she only signals maybe 25% of the time. So I have had a few puddles on the floor and even a poop or two (which is so rare now days). Guess she has better things to think about! So I am having to rely on timing and intuition a lot more now then before. I keep undies on her (the training pants with a bit of extra padding in the middle) a lot. They are too big but they work OK to hold things in if I do miss something. The times we get accidents on the floor are the times I don't put undies on her (which is pretty much whenever Charlie isn't home). She also doesn't signal as often when she is eating at the table, but I can understand that! She is much better about signaling when we go out. Once we started going diaper free at 8mo. I think I put her in diapers when out maybe once or twice. I haven't used them during the day since. Rarely will we have a miss when out (except when she is in the car). She tends to hold it when out too so often I will find myself offering over and over and her not peeing at all. She doesn't like to pee in public toilets but she will pee in the sinks. So I just *hope* no one is in the bathroom when we go in. Then I just pull down the backs of her pants and undies and hold her over the sink to pee. I am not brave enough to let others see us (and she is pretty particular about that too). So if someone walks in I just pull her pants up quickly or pretend to be rinsing off her butt! We still diaper at night but I let he pee when I come to bed (usually a few hours after her) and again first thing in the morning. So if she does pee in a diaper then it is usually only like once. Actually last night she stayed dry all night (over 10 hrs, peeing once in the potty, then again in the morning). I would say that at 10 mo. we are not doing as good as we were a month ago. But considering that she is going through a strike and learning many new things that preoccupy her, I think we are doing amazing! In the beginning all I thought about was EC. I mean I was obsessed LOL! But now it is just very natural. Of course it is always in the back of your mind, "does dd have to go" but it does not rule my day. Is it hard? Not if you don't stress over it. I am sure it is easiest for those who only have the baby to focus on. But I have not had problems doing it and I had another child (under 2 when we started) who also needed me lots and nursed too etc. I think as long as you are viewing it as a communication and not a "goal" it is easier. The "goal" is not to see how few misses you have (even though it is great when there are a few). It is just to listen and communicate with baby. I am sure some babies communicate better than others. Some moms may have to rely a lot more on timing and intuition and some may have a lot more misses than others (we know how babies are just all so different) but I think it is something that can be done successfully with any mom and any baby. And basically it is successful as long as you are communicating, whether that means you only catch a few a day or miss a few a day. There is really no right or wrong way to do it. It is just how the 2 of you communicate with each other. I will say that I feel much more tuned in to dd since I stared this (and much more so than I was with ds). I just feel like I know her so much better. I love it and I am sure I will do it with any future children I have. Once you become aware of the fact that they do communicate this need it is impossible to ignore it. I can even see it in other babies that we happen across when out. I can't imagine having another baby and NOT taking them to potty when I see they have to go, no matter how hectic our lives may be or how many kids I may have (and I would love a bunch BTW ;-) A baby has basic needs. The need to sleep, be held and comforted, fed, and eliminate etc. If we are to believe that they communicate these other needs so well (and we know they do) then why would it be so hard to believe that they can also communicate the need to eliminate and be able to hold it for a short period of time (longer as they get older) till we can take them to go? I am so use to it now that the though of her not going in the potty is just, well, weird. DD is no smarter than any other baby and I am no better than any other mom. This is just something that we have chosen to do. The fact that dd uses the potty is no longer something that I view as weird or unusual. It is just something she does. And the journey continues, |