Mean Gene OGRElund: " Welcome San Dimas to hour 2. The following match will be a finisher-Finisher match. Every Finisher performed equals a 6 pack of Pabst that the one who receives it will have to drink. The combatants may use any finisher from the FishStone, Eagle Point EdgeBreaker, Hose Bomb, to the Overdrawn Loan. But remember, it's a 6 pack of warm Pabst to be drank each time. Oh yeah, the PBR IC Coozie is also on the line.

Just Bill looks tentative as he hates Pabst. Just Bill goes for the FishStone right away but Bomb blocks it. I think that the PBR intercontinental coozie is the last thing on these two fighters minds. Adam Bomb moves to technical wrestling and now he has The Guaranteed Anklelock applied thats one of Sir Hop's finishers. The ref says...it counts! 6 pack for Just Bill. Whoa now Just Bill has reversed it into a modified Mexican surfboard. The judges say...yes! Apparently that is Bess's finishing move! 6-6. Now Adam Bomb has grabbed some sort of spear from under the ring he throws it and it hits Just Bill! One second the refs are awarding points to...Just Bill. He used Hitman Krug's finisher of jumping in the way of stuff. It now stands Adam Bomb has to drink a 12 pack compared to Just Bill's 6. <Loud Speakers: God of Thunder by Kiss!!>Hold The Phones! It's Pooch. No it's The Red Blazer and the Thugz! Red Blazer nails Just Bill with Cold Gin Time! Now the Thugz have Just Bill set up for the Super Thug Drop! STD! STD! Now they are hitting him with a second one! Oh no! 2 STD's!!
Random Acts comes out but it's too late. Adam Bomb nears the record set by Big E as he keeps the PBR Coozie! What's the official doing now. He is giving Just Bill 18 old warm Pabst Blue Ribbon's! Apparently Red Blazer and The Thugz count for finishers too! Just Bill must drink a whole case of old, mildewy, warm Pabst now!! That man has a family!

Now we're back in the Moundgeneration X locker room. GrinDOG, Flipmode Pfile, Scotty 2 Ohmsey, and Hitman Krug are talking about the Old Mil Ohms bus crash! Weird thing is, none of them say they were driving!

Sir Hop/ Bruce Willis arrive. BWF Spokesman C Wachy Ice comes up to greet them. He says tonight Sir Hop/Stavro face Gallagher/Shortfuse in a no reason match ordered by Emmett. Sir Hop wonders the meaning.

Compton Hardcore Title Match ** OG Pecker w/ Juice Queen vs. Phil Dudley Dewar w/ Old School Duerr
Before the match, Phil tells Old School to go backstage and get ready for the Fatal 5Play. He says he'll only need a second to finish off The Original Gangster. Phil proves right as he starts off with 14 chairshots to OG's head! Wait a second, OG picks up the chair and hits himself 7 more times! New BWF record for Chairshots! Now Phil throws OG a rolling pin. He hits himself 4 times with the rolling pin. Phil is laughing but the indestructible Pecker attacks Phil! OG throws Phil to the outside and now Juice throws him into the Bangkok announce table! Phil is hurt and he stumbles back in the ring. Pecker throws a leech at Phil! Phil screams! He has a deathly fear of leeches! Pecker covers him and gets the relatively clean pin! What up with that?

Random Acts locker room once again. IT's Janet Reno and Violent Jay.
Violent Jay: " Happy Valentines Day beautiful. I made you this necklace out of my own teeth and I drove to your favortie  war stricken country Palestan to pick you these fresh flowers. What'd you get me?"
Janet: " Look Jaybird, the sex has been great but I don't know if I can love somebody with the 1st name Violent."
Jay: " Fine, I'll change my name toUnbelievably Nice Jay. I don't want to lose you Jan. I..I...I love you!
Reno: " Yeah, whatever. What I'm trying to say is that my heart belongs to somebody else. So if you'll just pick your stuff up from my house Friday at 4:30 that'll be great. See ya!
Jay is come over with a never before seen evil look on his face. What is this?

The Rick comes into Emmett's office.
The Rick: " Requesting permission to investigate the Old Mil Ohms hit and run incident sir."
Emmett: " You are investigating it? No problem."
Jerri: " That was weird."

Last week, Trish Simpson was once again brutally hurt. This time, instead of the normal driver of her ambulance, Tom Bensyterio, she was kidnapped by Flipmode Pfile! Fortunately, Bruce Willis tracked down the ambulance and rescued her. The BWF cannot show this footage because it is going to be used as the end of Bruce's new movie : " Paging Doctor Death. only in theaters February 31."

Bruce Willis vs. Flipmode Pfile
Flipmode comes out as his character of the early 90's : Stink!
Stink hits Bruce Willis with a baseball bat. Bruce says touch me again and I'll kill you. Stink hits Bruce again and he kills Stink! Bruce takes off the mask but it's not Stink, it's Jeremy Miller aka Ben from Growing Pains!
On the Coleman Tron it's Flipmode Pfile!!!
Pfile: " I see you've met Ben from Growing Pains. Ha HA! Sorry Bruce and Sir Hop I could not be there tonight as Buckshots is having our 4th Grand Opening of the week. Don't worry my presence will be felt later though. What did you say I'm going through a tunnel!" <Transmission fades out>
Jerri: " I think he's up to no good fans!"

The Force locker room. Ironically they are all sitting down and playing Friend Feud. Together. As The Force.

The Rick walks up to Stavro....
The Rick: " So we finally meet. Alright Stavro.. Who ordered the hit on Ohms. I know you know! Tell me now!
Stavro: " I have a match, mellaca. You're nothing. nothing.

No Reason Match. Sir Hop/ Stavro vs. Shortfuse / 2 Ass Man President Gallagher
Shortfuse makes his return to the BWF after 6 months off for being moved to 3rd shift. The Big Shots have jobs too you know. Flipmode said some startling things earlier but Sir Hop doesn't seem affected. Shortfuse's music hits and he's on his way to the ring. Wait a minute! Wait a damn minute! It's...It's.....Feldy! He's Back and he's wearing the new Flipmode Pfile T-Shirt! Could this be Flipmode's big plan? Y2F beats down Shortfuse and it's apparently going to be Feldy/2 Ass Man against Sir Hop and Stavro! Stavro starts off against 2 Ass. This is not a battle. 2 Ass tags in Feldy and the former commisioner lays the pain to Stavro! Stavro somehow accidentally tags in Sir Hop and he goes after Feldy. Feldy hits Sir Hop with a flying clothesline! Now Feldy grabs a soccer ball from a deranged fan. He throws it in front of Sir Hop's face and Stavro instinctively kicks it and nails S.H. Hop is knocked out and Feldy laughs as he tags in Gallagher. Gallagher is preparing for the pin but the crowd erupts it's Violent Jay! or um Unreasonably Nice Jay? He attacks Gallagher with a steel casted math textbook! Violent continues the attack as he lays out Gallagher and now Feldy!
Violent Jay: " I saw the footage of last week. You were showering with my girl Janet Reno and I know it was you that seduced her from me. Now you will pay because Violence is Golden!"
2 Ass Man: " wha...what.. the...hell...? I...I...love....Kathy...you....bas...tard..."
Violent Jay looks confused and this match ends in a no decision. Sir Hop has been laid out by his own partner so does is the Pfile plan thing considered a success?

The Rick walks up to confront Edison Walters
The Rick: " Where the hell were you last week? The way I see it you have a lot to gain by taking out Old."
Edison: " You dumbass. We went to The Sizzler together after your match. Looks like you could use an assistant."

Tater/ Zuma (Metal Detonators) vs. Lil T / Pteradactyl
This match was set up earlier by these two. The winner will be the #1 Contendor for the BWF Tag Team Titles. Well, it looks as if we're going to be joined by the Tag Champs Censored Brian Legend and Kamikazee Skip Bauer.
Skip: " You know, I really hope Guentherman Hardy finds a good partner soon. Me and Bry Legend are awaiting some good competition. Frankly, right now the tag competition is weaker than the Little Dude Division."
Tater starts off against Lil T. The former members of The Sinsinnawa Dominicans are both vying for the shot at gold. There is a pretty even battle as now it's Lil T vs. Zuma. If you remember, Lil T referred to Zuma as Chapman earlier, sparking a fire inside the warrior.
Brian Legend: " You know instead of censoring nude chicks and vulgar language, somebody should put a black banner of the wrestling in the ring. Total Stinkfest!"
Kamikazee: " Word that dog. These four would have a tough time winning matches in the professional midget wrestling we saw this weekend (www.bloodymidgets.com).
Hold everything! Tater, Zuma, Lil T, and Pteradactyl have jumped the ropes and now it's 4 on 2 against Kamikazee and Legend. Will we ever have a number 1 contendor?

Backstage, Greasy is fighting with Tessy over whether to watch The Crocodile Hunter or Temptation Island. How will The Force coincide tonight and does Big E stand a chance?

Bess is mailing out some stuff backstage. Here comes Tina Yothers!
Tina: " Well, you know I'm retired from in ring competiton but I see potential in you, Bess. Somebody has got to take the Dirty Championship from my archrival Sensational Sally. I've interviewed Tazz and S-Nutz but I think you are the next champ. You will be the 1st member of the Tina Yothers Wrestling Academy.

Here comes out commisioner Emmett..
Emmett: " I'd like to thank the great people of San Dimas for having us here tonight. Hopefully we've been as entertaining to you as you've all been to us. It's been a great day here in the BWF. I've just learned that referee Heim and the others have agreed to come back to work. I know a lot of tonights matches didn't have endings or decisions but hopefully that will change next week. I've also taken care of all pending lawsuits against the BWF and we now have a clean slate. Earlier this week, I stopped and helped repair some old churches of San Dimas  before stopping at the homeless shelter to cook up some steaks I bought for the citizens. Tonight, I'm going to go work 3rd shift at the San Dimas auto shelter for a guy who is sick and tomorrow we've planned some San Dimas High renovations and the planting of flowers at the old Technology Park. I'd just like to thank you all for having us San Dimas. You guys rule!
Jerri: " OK this is getting weird now. Is Emmett for real or some perfect commissioner from above. I mean Foley would have started a fight with the local mayor and then eat and run at a couple restaurants."

Speaking of commisioner Foley, The BWF satellite is live with him in Cancun. He's with his main squeeze Natalie from Facts of Life who is expecting a little Foley at BWF's Ex-Pfile in 2 weeks.
Commish: " You know Natalie from Facts of Life, this is really living. I've got my hot babe, a cool drink, and my good friend Peck-Pac is on his way back from Pakistan. I love you. Hey is that Warden Edmonds over there."
Warden: " Foley, it's really um.. a coincidence finding you here. I was just playing pinata with the local Cancun kids."
Foley: " Well, don't you think you should have left them their baseball bat....Warden...."
Warden turns to the camera and rips off his flannel...IT"S A RED NATION T-SHIRT!!!! <Transmission goes out!>

The Main Event is coming up next. Who will face Old Mil at Ex-Pfile and will The Force get along??

Commercial for AsPhault Productions new Fall Show: Speed Bender

Jerri: " We're finally ready for the Main Event Folks! After tonight, somebody is gonna be on their way to Ex-Pfile with a shot at The Great One Title! It's a Fearful 5Way!
Tessy starts off with the early lead as he beats on Big E. Greasy, Old School, and Hoser all help out the human monster. Hoser throws Big E to the outside and rams him into the steel ring steps.Now Tessy climbs to the top rope and jumps outside onto Big E! Old School and Greasy One set up Big E onto the Los Angeles announce table. Old School gives Big E the Stein-Recline! Now Greasy hits The Survey Says! Luckily for Big E this isn't a Pabst Blue Ribbon Finisher-finisher match! I guess the Force can work together as they throw Big E into the ring. Old School Duerr goes for the pin but Hoser kicks him. Now Old School and Hoser are arguing. The Greasy One tries to break it up but he's nailed by Tessy! Now Tessy is fighting Greasy in one corner and Hoser is fighting Old School in the other. Meanwhile, Big E is regaining some strength. Here comes Tazz! She throws Greasy a ceramic pot and he breaks it over Tessy's head. There will be no assist tonight as Tessy is unconscious. From behind Big E starts to battle Greasy. In the other corner, Hoser is fighting off a flury of punches from Old School Duerr! Old School hits The Stein Recline once again and Old School pins as Hoser is down. Wait a second, Big E hits the Eagle Point Edgebreaker at the same time and pins Greasy! The rent-a-refs count 1,2,3 and Old School is the #1 contendor. Wait Big E is! They are both fighting each other now. Hoser is up and he's yelling at Old School! We've got to go folks!

Jerri: " Ex-Pfile is only 2 weeks away. I want to know who the hell the #1 contendor for the BWF Great One Title is. And dammit, where's Old Mil Ohms! Maybe I'll finally get answers next week. I sure know I won't get any answers from Foley, he'd probably......

c.2001
BWF Entertainment
Starring Pteradactyl as Himself