GOOD 'NA CIFRA 2: THE REVENGE
Riassunt  of  the  precedente puntat: God, the boss of the Paradise, has
cacced  out,  very very fuor, in the "freddo divertente" that in english
si dice "fun cool", Adam, Eva and the fruit of the peccat: the Nutell.

From  that  moment,  the  life  of God was very very squallid, very very
scocciant,  very  very  noious.  Infact  God  is  onnipotent,  He  knows
everything,  very very tutt, percio' He don't si puo' veder one football
partit  because  gia'  knows  the  risultat: He don't si puo' legger one
yellow book because gia' know the assasin, don't puo' play to the lotto,
tombol,  lottery  of  Capodann, because He gia' lo knows who vinces  and
who  perds  (di  solit God vinces at lotto, infact He is soprannominated
"Padre Terno"), He knows gia' everything, tutte cose.

The  unic  thing  that God don't sapeva, was what cazz di end aveva fatt
the Nutell and, under under, sotto sotto, after one sacc of time that he
don't have nothing notiz about the Nutell, God was very curious, ma very
very  curious,  because  God is formed dalla Santissima Trinity, percio'
God  has the curiosity of the Father, the curiosity of the figl, and the
curiosity of the Spirit Sant: 'na cifra di curiosity...

God  was pensing to qualcos per rintracciar the Nutell and so decided to
mandar  'ncopp  the  Terr one part of the Santissim Trinity: so chiamed
the Spirity Sant that is the most sfigat of the Trinity, (that quand God
want  the cigarettes or want the giornal, He sempr calls the Spirit Sant
that  in  deep  in  deep,  in  fondo  in fondo, is the apprendist of the
Trinity,  the  shop-boy,  the  ragazz  of  botteg) and God dissed to the
Colomb:  "Now  you  go  'ncopp  the  Terr and cerc 'nu poco this cazz of
Nutell that da secols and secols I don't have notiz".

The  Colomb  se  ne voled from the Paradise vers the Terr. "Good Viagg!"
dissed God watching the colomb flying...

The Colomb was avvicinanding to the Terr.
"Good Fortun!" dissed God watching the Colomb avvicinanding...

The  Colomb  entered  in  the atmosphere of the Terr. "In bocc al wolf!"
dissed God watching the Colomb in the atmosphere.

The Colomb was ormai in the ciel of the Terr.
"In cool at the balen! dissed God watching the Colomb in the ciel of the
Terr.

PAM!!  One  cacciator of Frosinone accirrette the Colomb with 'na scaric
of pallettons.

"Azz!" esclaimed God.

"Pork  Mignott!"  esclaimed  the Colomb, "God, ma nothing nothing do you
portass nu' poco sfiga?" And murretted into the Frosinon Forrest.

At  this  point  God  facing the vague, ma very very vague, ma very very
very  vague, vague 'na cifra, fischietting and canticching si avvicined
a Jesus and gli dissed: "Jesus, my predilett figl!...".

"Te credo" risposed Jesus "I am the unic figl...".

"Don't  scherzar  everytime, Jesus!" dissed God, "I'm parling seriament:
if you go 'ncopp the Terr, I'll give to you 'na bella cosa: the Nutell!"

"With  the  cazz!"  disse  Jesus "I aggio visted the end che ha fatt the
Spirit  Sant,  I  don't  want  to  be  accised by a fetient cacciator of
Frosinon!"    "But don't ti preoccupar! Don't succed nothing, and if you
want star very sicur, ma very very sicur, ma very very very sicur, sicur
'na  cifra,  I  give to you three (3) miracols, so you can go tranquill,
very very tranquill 'ncopp the Terr".

"Ue'  Daddy"  dissed  Jesus  "I  don't  want go to 'ncopp the Terr!! But
comunq,  proprio  perche' sei you, I will go 'ncopp the Terr se you..."

"Se  io...?"  "Se  you  accatt  to  me  the  motorin!"   "The motorin is
pericolous!  L'altra  volt t'aggio visted 'ncopp the Vesp of the figl of
Mose' sgomming and impenning su 'na ruota only!"  "And I don't go 'ncopp
the Terr!" dissed Jesus.

"What  a  cacacazz  of  figl che teng! And it goes good! Va buo'!: now I
give to you tre miracles and when you return, I'll give the motorin. But
you trov the Nutell!"  So Jesus nacqued in ne grott al cold e al gel.

Will  riesce  Jesus  a compier the mission to salv the humanity from the
tentation of the Nutell?
Che  a  him  don't  gliene puo' fregar of meno, but he want the motorin,
with  the  parabrezz,  the  baulett and the adesiv of his face, with the
scritt "Volto Santo of Jesus Christ protegg me"?
We  will  know  everything  to  the proxim puntat of the "Good 'na cifra
Tales". Amen.


GOOD 'NA CIFRA 3
PALESTINA JESUS & THE PREDATORS OF THE NUTELLA PERDUTA
Riassunt  of  the precedent puntats: dopo aver cacced from  the Paradise
Adam,  eva  and  the  Nutell,  a  God gli venn the sfitz di ritrovar the
Nutell  in  the  mond,  so  He manded Jesus 'ncopp the Terr. But siccom
Jesus  don't  voleva andar, God promised to him tre miracles (in case of
necessity,  don't  si  sa never) and soprattutt, se Jesus ritornava with
the  Nutell in the Paradise, God for premium, gli accattava the motorin.
So Jesus nacqued in one grott al cold and al gel.

After  qualck ann, when he was more grandicell,  he troved finalment the
Nutell.  And  pure  Jesus  vided  that the Nutell was good, ma very very
good, m good 'na cifra, solament that Je sus aveva the Mamm, the Madonn,
that  always  nasconded  the  barattolos  of  the  Nutell  in  the  most
incredible  post,  under the mangiatoy, in the cofanett of the mirra, in
the attrezz of San Joseph...

But  we sappiam that Jesus avev the Nutell because  of the miracles, the
tre  miracles  that  he feced:  - Miracle number one: The resurrezion of
Lazzaroni,  one  fabbricant of biscott that, for riconoscenz,  regaled a
Jesus  le  sue actions of the Nutell SpA so Jesus divenned the principal
azionist of the Nutell.

-  Miracle  number two: The Nozze di Cana, dove Jesus,  alla fine of the
pranz,  trasformed  il  dessert  in Nutell, con big godiment of tutt the
invitats and the tutt the imbucats (that, at the matrimon, don't mancano
never).

- Miracle number three: The Moltiplication of the Pan and the Nutell, in
cui  Jesus,  per incrementar the affairs, con one rossett and one little
vaschett  of  Nutell  sfamed  nu sacc of little boys, the ragazzins, the
pischells, the guagliunciells, because Jesus is very very furb, furb 'na
cifra,  and  he knows that se one boy assagg the Nutell,  after per tutt
the  life the ragazzin will cake the cazz days and night in the recchies
of the mamm to comprar the Nutell.

But  one giorn very very trist, Jesus decided to offrir one cena for the
discepols.  The discepols eran like the Consigl of Amministration of the
Nutell SpA.

During  tutt the cena they were parling and chiackiering of the more and
the  less  (del  piu'  e del meno) but a un cert point, Jesus presed the
pan,  lo  spezzed,  lo  dieded ai discepols and disses: "Uaglio' let's
prnd  the  Nutell  that  i mi want to far 'na panz tant!"  But purtropp,
cerc  di  qua,  cerc  di  la',  they don't trovaron the Nutell and aveva
scambiated  la  secret  formula  per  trnata  denars, one abbona ment in
lateral  tribune  of  the Naples Football Club and five filmins of Moana
Pozzi,  giving  the  formula to one fariseo, Mister Ferrero.      And fu
cosi'  che  Ferrero  divvened  ricc and fa mous; and fu cosi' that Jesus
s'incazzed very much, ma very very much, much 'na cifra, be stemming the
mamm,  the  babb,  and tutt the saints amici suoi, but ormai don(t c'era
piu'  nothing da far; and fu cosi' che God, per dispett, invented seduta
stant  the "Peccat of Golosity"; and fu cosi' che Jesus is l'unic in tutt
the Paradise that is still andand a pieds, senz the motorin... Amen.