In front of you is a tavern sign:  "The Limping Hufflepuss." 

You sit down at an empty table and think about this. 

The door opens and in comes a trio of really short guys.  They sit at the table next to you.  You overhear the whispered conversation: 

"Okay, here's the plan.  Sam, you lead the old gizard away from camp and get him to stand under the tree where Merry will be hiding.  Merry, you drop the rock on his head -- make sure you bean him good.  Then both of you, come back to camp and act like you don't know where he went.  Then I'll put on the ring and knock off Strider and the others, one by one.  And then Middle Earth is ours!" 

A second voice pips up:  "Then we kill all the lawyers!" 

"Bless you, Merry, your heart's in the right place.  But as I explained before, we're just going to kill everyone else's lawyers." 

A third voice earnestly declares:  "And as for me, all I desire is Galadriel's heart in wedded bliss!" 

"Sam, even the One Ring isn't going to make that happen." 

"Okay, well -- a human babe, then.  But thin.  And blonde." 

You cover your ears, get up, and walk out.