"HELLO," the voice of Goofdaln booms like thunder across the moutains.  "THIS IS GOOFDALN THE PASSABLE." 

"Goofdaln!" you squeak.  "Help me!  I've turned into a mouse and --" 

"I'M NOT AVAILABLE RIGHT NOW, SO PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE.  THANKS!" 

"Goofdaln!" you squeak.  "It's me!  Pick up!  Pick up!" 

"OH -- AND SORRY, THIS IS A VOICEMAIL SYSTEM, NOT AN ANSWERING MACHINE, SO I CAN'T PICK UP." 

"Goofdaln!  Please!  My life is in mortal danger!  Pick up!  Pick up!" 

"IT'S NOT LIKE I'M LYING OR ANYTHJING JUST SO I CAN SCREEN THESE CALLS.  I REALLY AM NOT AVAILABLE JUST NOW.  SO STOP SAYING 'PICK UP! PICK UP!' -- I MEAN, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE SAYING.  NOT THAT I WOULD KNOW.  I MEAN, I'M NOT TALKING AND LISTENING ON THE LINE LIVE RIGHT NOW AND PRETENDING TO BE AN AUTOMATIC ANSWERING SYSTEM.  I WOULDN'T DO THAT.  NO SIR, NO WAY.  REALLY, TRUST ME ON THIS." 

"Oh Spriggins," you say, crossing your tiny little arms and resigning yourself to your fate.