"I wonder why there are only knives," you muse. 

"Interesting you should ask that," a voice from under the table replies.  Sir Irving the Explainer backs up and sits down.  "Now, your basic spoon didn't come along until Charles Gutenberg in the High Middle Ages." 

"He was in his mid-fifties?" you ask, looking for an escape route. 

"Exactly.  You see, after inventing the printing press, he founded the first newspaper to avoid talking to his wife and kids in the morning.  His wife, in a fit of revenge, stopped making food you could spear, and served him cold cereal.  After several unsuccessful attempts to stab the Cherio O's, he curled one of his knives into a scoop shape." 

"Didn't he cut his tongue on the edge?" 

"And so did many others for centuries thereafter, until people realized you didn't have to sharpen the edge any more once your knife was converted into a spoon.  Of course, there were many more patented design changes to the original spoon before small children were allowed to lick batter from one.  In fact, the first child to lick batter from a spoon was Augustus Chump, in 1823." 

"Fascinating," you yawn, backing away. 

Sir Irving drones on:  "Now your forks, they were invented by Roger Bacon, who discovered that forks could hold a steak motionless while it was being cut with a knife.  Later, he discovered that killing the cow also helped.  And if you wonder how Bacon could have found the time to invent the fork and write Shakespeare's plays, he didn't write Shakespeare's plays.  Leonardo da Vinci did.  If you wonder how Leonardo da Vinci found the time to invent the airplane, tank, and parachute -- well, he didn't.  Michelangelo did.  If you wonder who painted the Sistine Chapel, that was Galileo.  If you wonder who discovered the Earth goes around the Sun, that was . . . . " 

Cease this fascinating discourse and return to the dining hall.