You and the young lady steal forward into the gloom.  At the other end of the cave are lanterns, and a large control panel with many levers -- state-of-the-art technology for the Dark Ages. 

The gnome from the golf course is there.  He whirls around and glares.  "What are you doing here!" he demands. 

As you gaze around, it all comes to you at once.  "This thing here -- it's a machine to control the volcano, isn't it!" 

"You mean he's the volcano god?"  asks the young lady.  She looks back at the gnome.  "I was expecting someone taller." 

"I have only one question," you say.  "Why?" 

"Well, I suppose it's basically a prejudicial assumption on my part to associate the authority of a significant landscape deity with physical size -- " 

"I was talking to the gnome." 

"Why?" the gnome exclaims.  "So that I can get the villagers to find me a date, that's why!  You don't think I'm going to attract a girl friend on the tips I get from being a golf caddy, do you?" 

"I'm rather curious as to how you can afford a volcano-eruption machine on caddy tips," you reply. 

"I'd only be too glad to tie up that apparent plot-hole for you," says the gnome, "but I'm not one of those villains who dilly-dallies around while the hero figures out ways to thwart him.  Eusibius -- attack!" 

"Eusibius?" you and the female ask simultaneously. 

You hear an ominous growl from the passageway. 

"Eusibius is my name -- eating people is my game!" Eusibius says.  "And yes I admit that rhyme is kind of lame -- but it's the best I could do before I came.  And now with anger you cannot tame, I will proceed to attack and maim!" 

He emerges from the shadows, and he's not at all as frightening as you had imagined.  Of course, what you had imagined was a fire-breathing dragon.  Eusibius is simply an eight-foot tall minotaur (ie, body of man, head of bull). 

"Do something!" the virgin shrieks, hiding behind your back. 

"They're always liberated until the monster shows up," the gnome says, shaking his head. 

The virgin points her finger at him. "That kind of attitude is another reason you can't get a date!" 

"Just shut up, you silly dame!" Eusibius interjects.  "I'm trying to do my claim to fame!" 

"I'm not silly," she says.  "I have a degree in psychology!" 

The gnome rolls his eyes.  "And this is the one they picked for me!" 

You realize the narrator must be writing this late at night, and it's not going to get more coherent.  So you raise your sword and -- 

-- swipe at the minotaur. 

-- slash at the pipe (which I forgot to mention, is filled with steam).