“Oh yeah!” he exclaimed as he managed to recall. He got up from his bed and made his way toward a chest of drawers next to his wardrobe. He pulled open the second to the bottom drawer and dug through his neatly-folded boxers. “There you are,” he whispered as he lifted the purple box out of the drawer and sat it carefully on his bed.

He just found the tool that he’ll use to answer his questions. He opened the box and carefully lifted out the deck of tarot cards. He’d been practicing tarots several years back and found that it answered his questions rather correctly. Since then, he’d been consulting the tarots whenever he needed answers to the questions that he couldn’t figure out. Although he knew it’s quite wrong to do so but he couldn’t help himself, since they’d been right all this time.

Mark took the rather large deck of cards, held them in his left hand while covered the top of the deck with his right, trying to get in contact with his inner self as he questioned the cards quietly. He asked the simplest question he knew to the cards, shuffling them all the whole, cutting them into halves, regrouping them and shuffling them again until he felt like they’ve been mixed up quite well. He could feel the cards’ powers calling out to him, telling him to open them now.

He sat on his bed, and spread out the first six cards, two in the centre, overlapping each other, and four others surrounding the first two cards. Then, he placed the last four cards in a vertical line on the right hand side of the first six cards. He took a deep breath, and lifted the card that overlapped the first card. It was The Fool.

The Fool was Card 0, the first card out of the whole deck. The Fool carried obvious meanings – it’s the beginning of something, foolishness, faith and spontaneity.

Mark made the conclusion for that card. His relationship with Kirsten was obviously starting – so the beginning of something was definitely correct. He knew he’s foolish enough to fall head over heels with a playgirl like Kirsten, taking that crazy road that led straight to disaster. He didn’t know whether she’ll ever loved him back, as much as he’d loved her. He was definitely spontaneous as he jumped straight into having sex with her on their first meeting. But then again, he’s a male, for God’s sake! Of course, he’d jump at any chance when it comes to having sex with a girl as pretty as Kirsten.

He sighed again, and flipped open the second card that sat on top of The Fool. He got The High Priestess, reversed but he knew that reversed cards doesn’t necessarily meant that their meanings were the total opposite of their divinatory meanings. That was when he knew that there’ll some secrets his relationship with Kirsten – mainly, his secrets. But the other good meaning of this reversed card was passion. He must seek a way to tell Kirsten those secrets, one day, one way or another. He couldn’t risk losing her now. She meant so much to him!

For his third card, which explained the root cause of his question, or the unconscious influence of his doubts, he got The Moon. He was afraid, there was fear, bewilderment, illusions, wild imaginations, particularly his wild imaginations, hidden enemies and deception. The card explained that if he went on with this fear of losing Kirsten, their relationship would surely get rocky. He got to stop imagining the worse. But it also carried hidden enemies.

Hidden enemies? Who? Where? How? Who would go against their relationship? Ben? No, Ben would never do that. He’s okay with the girls that Mark was with all the time. In fact, Ben didn’t give a crap about the girls that Mark was with. Mainly it might be because it was none of his business.

His fourth card was about his past, or at some times, recent past events. He got the reversed Page of Swords. The Page of Swords was never a good card. It was an evil card, in fact. Its divinatory meanings were authority, secret service, prying, vigilance and spying. The reversed meanings of it were worse than its divinatory meanings, more evil than that.

And Mark knew, he knew that the card wasn’t wrong. His past events… they weren’t something that he was proud of. He had to admit the worse thing that could’ve happened after the spying and prying into secrets – well, he murders people, don’t he? That’s his job. He’s paid to do so. Mark sighed again. These cards were really hitting the spot now, weren’t they?

If he wanted to turn things around, he must be truthful. He must tell Kirsten about his real self, about his real job, what he did in the past and what he might do in the future.

Mark looked at the six other unopened cards. He then flipped open the fifth card – the one that would state his goal or purpose, his desired result, what he thought would’ve happened by the end of the day. He got himself the Two of Cups.

He smiled. The Two of Cups showed a young man and a young woman, each holding a cup in their hands and pledging their love for each other. The meaning of the card was simple: love, passion, union and attraction.

He flipped open his sixth card, his future approaching influence, some factor that he must embraced in the future. It was card 20, The Judgement. Naturally, the Judgment usually needed one to change something. But lucky for Mark, his card was reversed. Pusillanimity, simplicity, decision. Mark sighed again, for the umpteenth time that day. He had to make a decision but he’ll be too afraid to do so. It must’ve been something really big, like an engagement or marriage or something and it must’ve been with Kirsten. He swallowed nervously. Yes, that’s what it had to be. God, he felt like banging his head on the nearby wall. Why must it be so hard for him?!

Then, the moved on to the seventh card – the card that’s about the questioner, about him currently – and flipped that open. The reversed of the Nine of Swords. Doubt, reasonable fear, shame. Exactly what he was feeling now. Although he really liked – no, make that loved – Kirsten, he doubted their relationship. It was because of his work as an assassin. What if he told her about it and told her about the people he’d murdered and then, she tried to run away? What if she hated him for life because he killed Bysen and soon, he’ll move on to murder Fjellmen? He’s definitely afraid of that. And yes, he’s quite ashamed of his work, really. He felt that way because… hey, he should be in jail by now, shouldn’t he? After all those people he’d assassinated and all that. He never did want to be an assassin. Hell, he hated his brother because he was an assassin when Mark was just a teenager.

Now, he flipped open the eight card, his environmental factor, simply meant you as how others see you. It was the Six of Cups. Now, that was good, he mused. People see him as if he was blessed, joyful and happy. Mark smirked. They’ll never know what secrets he held inside himself.

Then, came his ninth card – key factor, guidelines, and guidance, something he hadn’t considered. The reversed of The Empress – light, truth, the unravelling of involved matters, public rejoicings. That’s kind of good, in a way. The truth will be his key factor to this relationship, the truth will be something that’ll save this relationship.

And now, for the moment of truth, the last card, the card that held the answer to the question that he’d asked, the answer, the final result of the whole thing. He flipped it open and saw The Lovers, in its divinatory meaning. Mark could’ve done a jig for joy. That was a very good card. It meant relationship, sexuality, union, love, beauty, trials overcome. But most importantly, it meant union!! He and Kirsten would’ve been married!!

Just then, Mark remembered that he’d bought something, a pouch of some sort to keep the cards. He went over to the suitcase that he’d used while he was in London and went through the remaining contents of it. He found what he sought for not long after that. He took that black silk bag out of its paper wrap before he reached into the paper bag again and brought out a box.

Mark opened the velvet-lined box and stared at its contents – a few crystals in various shapes and sizes. Then, he remembered the shopkeepers advice: “You keep the cards in this pouch and then, keep this box of crystals near the cards, not together with them, but near. You can’t keep them together because of their conflicting powers. The best is to put the crystals in the same room as the cards, but you mustn’t put them together.”

Mark gazed at the crystals lying on the dark blue velvet. He had asked the shopkeeper what those crystals were for.

“This one’s called Amber,” she had said as she held an amber-red stone in her hand. “It’s for protection, a stone of fire.” She pointed out the transparent crystal. Mark had thought that it looked more like glass than crystal. She had told him that it was called quartz. “It’s for focusing you energy for any purpose. This is a stone of air, young man.”

Mark looked at the other two remaining stones. A blue one and another brownish black one – Turquoise, for protection from psychic attacks and divination, a stone of water. The other one was Obsidian, for calling the inner strength and protection, a stone of earth.

Four crystal stones, from all four elements of nature: earth, water, fire and air. It’d proved to be a very powerful protection charm. It’d protect his cards from any alien power that’ll probably manipulate the cards’ genuine power.

He quickly put his cards inside the black silk pouch and pulled the drawstrings closed before putting it into his drawer of boxers, at the corner of the drawer, hidden completely by his boxers. Then, he took the box containing the crystals and put it on the bedside table. That’ll surely keep the cards safe now, wouldn’t it?

It wasn’t that Mark believed in this sort of thing, well, you know, witchcraft and everything but he couldn’t deny the power of tarots now, could it? They did manage to prove most things that he’d had doubts in. Mark sighed again and went to his bed, lying on it in the process. He felt so tired. Just then, his mobile rang.

“Hello,” he said tiredly into his phone.

“May I speak to Mr. Mark Daniel Read please?” the voice at the other end asked.

“Speaking.”

The woman at the other end began telling him about his flight ticket and how he must claim it from the ticketing counter in the airport.

She was going on and on and on… It’s becoming ridiculous! But finally, when she’s done telling him about the flight ticket, he said goodbye to her and disconnected the call.

Mark sighed and flopped down on his bed. This whole thing had given him a headache. How could something so small actually become something so big? Why was he feeling so stressed out by this relationship? He knew this wasn’t his first relationship or something. Why was he feeling the need to back out? Why did he feel like there’ll be something wrong in the relationship? Oh God, damn!

And now, another decision had been thrown in his face. This was just great, just when he’s about to argue with that little voice at the back of his head, Kirsten gave him another thing to ponder about: the flight ticket to Norway. Well, he wanted to go to Norway. He really wanted to see Kirsten again and he definitely wanted another night in Kirsten’s arms again.

He didn’t see anything wrong in this picture.

But then, he knew that he didn’t want his heart broken again. It’s been so long since a woman broke his heart, he could’ve sworn he saw that little smile of satisfaction when she dumped him. He could see her tearing out his heart, played around with it before throwing it to the ground and trampled over it, kicked it around as if it was a football. God, he’d been so depressed then. But he’d taken everything out on the people he was paid to assassin.

Well, almost everything.

He could still see that malicious smile today.

Great, this was just great! Mark sighed again and closed his eyes.

His eyes snapped open again almost immediately. Oh, no, he couldn’t sleep, he mustn’t sleep! There’s a plane ticket to Norway, sitting happily on a desk in the airport somewhere, waiting for him to pick it up.

Mark forced himself out of bed, dragged himself over the living room to pick up his keys and drove to the airport.

 

~~ecaf~~

 

Christian looked at his sister as she entered her room.

Something definitely was wrong with her today. She’s overly happy – not that he minded when she’s happy. In fact, he’s definitely happy when she’s happy. He really didn’t want her to dwell in her past.

Christian sighed as he turned from the landing that led to Kirsten’s room and strode toward his bedroom. He shouldn’t let her bother him now, should he? She’s happy, and that’s all that really mattered.

Paul nudged his friend as soon as he heard the young man entered the room. “So?”

“So what?” Christian asked him back, sitting on the bed next to Paul.

“You don’t look happy. Has something happened to Kirsten?” Paul asked.

Christian looked at the shorter man sitting beside on. “No. Why would you think that?”

“’Cause you don’t look happy. Are you happy or unhappy?” Paul prodded.

“Happy. Absolutely happy. Deliriously happy.”

“Something’s bothering you, Chris.”

“Paul…”

“Yep, there’s something that’s definitely bothering you. Tell me, what’s bothering you. ‘Cause I know how to make others happy again when something’s brothering them.”

“Paul, listen. You are bothering me at the moment. I told you, I’m happy. I’m absolutely fine. I’m very happy. In fact, ecstatically happy.”

“People don’t usually use the word ‘ecstatically’ when they’re expressing their happiness.”

“You’re really, really bothering me now, Paul,” Christian exasperated. “I told you, I’m happy, okay? Case close.”

“Okay then.” Paul backed out. “So, how about your production company thingy?”

“It’s going fine. Found a place already. Just waiting for the owner to come up and sign the papers, which is in about a few days time.”

“Oh, wow, good for you.”

“Yes, good for me. And I need you to sign the papers too, since you’re my partner and all.”

“Sure, no problem.” Paul cocked his head to one side as he observed the blonde. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

Christian gave a low growl or irritation in his throat.

“Okay, okay.”

 

~~ecaf~~

 

Mark sat on the two-piece red-coloured couch in his bedroom, head in his hands. Should he go, or should he not go? That’s the question.

Well, he’s got the ticket. If he didn’t go, Kirsten would hate him forever. If he goes to Norway, she’ll love him… well, until he tells her about Bysen and Fjellmen – after he killed Fjellmen in about three months’ time.

Either way, Kirsten will hate him.

Actually, there’s another option though. He could choose not to tell Kirsten about it at all. But if he doesn’t tell her a thing, she’ll know he’s hiding something. Besides, Mark was a bad liar. Every time he lied without mapping out everything first, he’ll blush. He’s the worst when it comes down to lying right through his teeth without careful planning. Words just don’t tumble out of his mouth, unlike some others.

He swung his feet around and stretched himself out on the two-piece. Okay, it’s getting worse. He’s already late – just because he overslept – and it’s going to be worse if he still couldn’t make up his mind. Kirsten had text him earlier stating that she’ll be at the airport to wait for him. Oh Lord, he shouldn’t question himself so much! He shouldn’t think so much! He should just live each day as it comes.

His mind went back to the nights he spent with Kirsten. The desire deep inside him stirred, as well as his loins. That’s at least one good reason for him to go to Norway then.

Mark got up from the two-piece and walked over to his wardrobe and pulled out one suitcase. Mark picked up a few neatly folded t-shirts and stuffed them into the suitcase. He was due to be in the airport about twenty minutes ago. But it seemed that he’d been thinking so much that he hadn’t realised that so much time had passed by. He should remember to wake up earlier the next time he felt like he must do some serious thinking.

‘Well, who wouldn’t be? This is the time when I should catch up on my sleep. Wake up at noon and going to bed at 3 in the morning!’ Mark thought. His line of job had really taken its toll on him. When he was working, he’d had to wake up slightly after midnight – sometimes, he and Ben wouldn’t even sleep – just to gunned down Simon’s victims.

There’re even times when they had to keep themselves awake for about two days just to follow the person whom they’re about to kill around town.

He hated his job, but hey, it came with a handsome amount of money, so he guessed he shouldn’t complain.

He stuffed some more clothes into the suitcase and went around to search for his passport and the flight ticket.

Well, Norway, here he comes!