Lost1

Title: Lost
Author: Isabelledream
Email: [email protected]
Category: Michael and Isabel
Rating: PG-13?? ( I really don�t know.)
Summary: My own version of the S3.
Disclaimer: Roswell?? No. Not mine. Is it yours? Oh, and so far I used the songs "Do what you have to do" by Sarah McLachlan and "Walk on" by U2, so this songs aren't mine either.

Part 1

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I�m lost.

Around me there�s only the emptiness of the desert, the silence of the desert. I�m scared. I call for my friends, my brother, my love� But there�s no answer. I�m alone. I always am.

The wind blows. It�s cold� so cold. The tears are falling again. The tears that I so hard try to hide, try to forget. I try to stop them but it�s in vain, they will never stop. Then I see what the wind is trying to show me. The symbols. Our home. Our destiny. Forgot there. Covered by the sand. Disappearing in the solitude of the desert.

I collapse on the ground. The pain. The pain is so intense. It�s like a hole in my heart. A hole in my soul. I try to reach the symbols. I begin to dig with my hands. Hopeless. It�s too late. It�s all gone. It�s all lost. I�m lost.

Slowly, the shadows surround me. And then�then I wake up.

I�m not in the desert anymore, but I can still feel the pain, the fear, and the loneliness. Because those feelings aren�t just a part of a dream; they are real. They haunt me everyday, every single minute. �Why?� someone would ask. And I tell you why. Because it�s me. Because I�m Isabel Evans, and I�m an alien. Well, half alien. I have a past that I don�t remember and I don�t even think that I would like to; I�m too afraid of the truth. And also�also I have a love. A love that I can�t have. A love that I need. A love that I breathe. A love that I can�t live without. A love that I can�t live with. �Why?� someone would ask. And I tell you why. Because it�s him.

I�m Isabel Evans and I�m lost.

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Isabel gazes at her own reflection in the mirror. She runs her fingers through her new hair and sighs.

�You look as beautiful as always,� someone whispers behind her.

She looks at the new reflection that appears on her mirror, and immediately turns around to see Alex sitting on the edge of her bed.

�Hi,� she smiles sadly.

"Hi, princess. Why are you so sad?� Alex asks softly.

�I can�t do this Alex. I thought I could, but I can�t.�

�Come over here.�

Isabel sits beside him and Alex holds her hand.

�We talked about this before, Isabel. You can do this. You have to. You deserve it, you know. You deserve to be happy.�

�I�ll never be happy, Alex. You know that.�

�You have to try, Isabel.�

�I used to think so. But I�m not so sure anymore. I tried to be happy with you, I tried to love you, and it wasn�t fair to you��

�No. Don�t say that. I always knew the truth. I knew that you didn�t love me the way I wanted you to, the way I loved you, that you would never love me that way. I guess, in a way, I always knew that you heart and soul belonged to him. I made my own choice. I could run away from you and your alien problems but instead I ran after you.�

�It�s still not fair. I couldn�t let you be involved. Never. Now�Now you are dead and Grant� And I don�t think that I have the right to try to be happy again if the price can be another human life��

�Or half alien�� Alex murmurs.

�What?� Isabel stands up angry and faces him.

�Um. Nothing.�

"Nothing??� She gives him on of her best Ice Queen glares. �You know, Alex, when you say things like that you really get me wondering if you are really just a trick of my mind or if you are really a ghost. Because why would my own mind say things that I don�t want to hear?�

Alex stands up, going to her and taking her hands on his again.

�Maybe because you need to hear what you don�t want to. Or maybe I'm just trying to piss your off to see if you'll finally let me go.�

�Oh, Alex.� She embraces him. � I know that I should let you go but I�m feeling so lonely. You've been my only friend these days.�

�Isabel, I�m dead. I�m not the best choice for a friend nowadays. Besides, you have Max and Michael.�

�Do I?�

�Of course, you do.� Alex thinks a little about the subject and starts to conclude. �Well, maybe they haven�t been the best kind of friends lately. They have been ignoring you, doing alien conspiracy things behind your back. But still��

�Bye, Alex.� Isabel interrupts his thoughts, smiling at him and turning to the mirror again.

�Bye, princess.� Alex disappears.

Isabel closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. �It�s time.�