Im not under the affluence of incahol as some tinkle peep.Im not half as thunk as you drink.I fool so feelish, and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get !(
"Why did they call it PMS?....Mad cow disease was already taken!
Ice cream man found ded covered in hundreds & thousands, rasberry sauce in mouth & a flake up his arse.police think he topped himself.(
Dont do drugs! There's already too many of us and to little of it.
I may not be as pretty as Brad Pitt, or as strong as Rambo... but I can lick like Lassie!
What a great face! Those beautiful eyes. A pure soul... a sexy body! Enough about me, how are you?
She took off his pants gently and wispered:Make me a woman... He smiled, threw the pants at her and said: Go wash it.
There are 4 animal species a woman needs in her life: Jaguar in her garage,mink in her closet,tiger in her bed! And of course a donkey to pay her bills!!
Do you take me to be your lawful text mate, to have and to hold, in rich quotes and horny jokes, till low battery and no reception do us part?
If I were a robot,and you were one too,If I lost a nut, would you give me a screw ????
CHINESE SUNDAYBUFFET MENU:* CHU SUM TWAT * S**K MI PORK * LICK MI CLIT * TUNGSUM CHICK * GOO IN HAND * GULP SUM KUM*CHO KON IT, ENJOY YOUR MEAL!
HI!JUST WONDERED IF I CAN STAY WITH U CUPLE DAYS? everyone is so pissed off at me... I need a friend...... Sender: Osama Bin Laden 391116661
Newsflash!! another body found in barrymores pool thought to be from Afghanistan apparently he was a suicide bummer!
a-ur attractive b-ur beautiful c-ur caring d-ur delicous e-ur exciting f-ur funny g-ur gorgeous h-ur horny I -IM J-JUST K-KIDDING L-LOSERR
last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and thesky... then i thought where the ____ is my roof
If my dog had a face like yours I'd shave its ass and walk it backwards!
police in liverpool r lookin for 4 terrorists..they have found...bindrinkin...binsmokin...bintheivin....no sign of binworkin...... '
The NHS Regrets to inform you that your birth was a mistake, could you please report to your local hospital to be put down, Sorry for any inconvenience.
Once upon a time,somthing happened 2me.It was the sweetest thing that ever could b,it was a fantasy,a dream come true.It was the day i met u!
Your lips look so lonely. Would they like to meet mine?
On a scale of 1-10you deserve a 10 but......I would rather give you 1
Nokia would like 2 apologise that due 2 a small fault in our systems ur mobile is going 2 vibrate for 10mins, so take this chance to STICK IT UP YOUR **** - u choose!!
Just want u 2 know ur friendship means alot 2 me.If we were on a sinkin ship & there was only 1 lifejacket left..I would really miss u!
Make me forget all that hurts me
You don't marry someone you can live with- you marry the person you can't live without
If he's the first thing you think of when you wake up, the only thing you think of when you're awake, and the last thing you think of before you go to bed then he's really something special
a break up is like a broken mirror.. it is better to leave it broken than hurt urself trying to fix it back together
I dont have an Attitude Problem...Its supposed to be like this :) :P
I have a confession, I must confess, I was told I was the absolute best:P
*neva say 4eva coz 4eva isnt real*
*4evas wut u think and 4evas what u feel*
*so if u say 4eva plz promise that ull try*
*but neva say 4eva coz 4eva makes me cry:'(* :(
(L)~YOU FALL IN LOVE ONCE, YOU FALL IN LOVE TWICE, THE LAST TIME YOU LEARN THAT BOYS AREN'T NICE~ (L)
I kNoW u WhAnA dO iT u KnOw I wHaNa Do It To So We CaN mAkE sAnDwIcHeS u CaN bE tHe BuN aNd I cAn Be ThE bUrGeR!!LMFAO!!
LeT mE sIt On Ur LaP..wE cUd TlK bOuT tHe FiRsT tHiNg tHaT pOpS uP??
wish I was a flower, I wish I was a bee, enough of this C@#P, now talk to me.
69% sweetheart, 31% bitch, All Women
All men are alike......... They just have different faces to tell them apart
i asked god for a minute he gave me a day i asked god 4 a flower he gave me a boquet i asked god for tru love and i got that 2 i asked god for an angel and i was given u
i wrote ur name in the dirt the wind blew it away i wrote ur name in the sand the water washed it away so i wrote ur name in my heart now its here 2 stay!
guys are like a piece of gum wen they lose there flavour pop in another one
If u were a new burger at McDonalds u wood be McGorgeous
'call me a slut, then turn and run, it wont hurt my feelings, cos sluts have more fun;)
viloets are blue, roses are red, just give it up, cause you wont get me in your bed!"
if practice makes perfect, and no one is perfect, then y practice??
boys are like nappies.......hard to change and full of shit!!!!!
GraB A knife take your life, So pay the toll and achieve your goal, to be free is all i want to be !
Fuzzy Wuzzy Was A Bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, but who gives a fuck cuz I got lotsa hair!!!
let me tell u bout the birds and the bees, and the flowers and the trees, and the moon up above....... and a thing called love!!!(l)(k)(l)
los-a-people luv me,yeah i know its true lots-a-people luv me and u betta luv me 2!
flowers are ok, jewellerys best, look at me idiot not at my chest, dont call me a girl, a babe or a chick i am a women get it u dick
when a guy is a playa hes known as a pro but when a girl is a playa shes known as a ho
Don't (k) in the garden don't (k) at the gate cause (l) is blind but the neighbours ain't
(K) Can I have a Piccy Of You.... So I can Show Santa Wot i want 4 Xmas (K)
East to da Sea, West to da Land, Death to the bitch that fucks wit ma man, I'll grab her by her neck, throw her in da sea!
gimmy this,gimmy that, i guess i am a spoild brat, buy me rubys, buy me perals, i luv being daddys little girl
(a) im a booty shakin heart breakin pretty hot neva stop short skirt luv ta flit angel baby spoiled maybe perfect princess just 4 u (a)
WhEn I LoOk At YoUr FaCe It MaKeS Me GaG, CuZ Ur A StUpId UgLy FaG
Why? Maybe cause I love u, hug u, squeez u, touch u, tease u, as long as we 2gether its heaven for me to please u, wont stop till u tell me to boot
MENtal breakdowns, MENrual cramps, MENopause Did you ever notice how all women's problems begin ith MEN!?!?!?
Don�t be afraid to be yourself, the people who matter don�t care; the people that care don�t matter
It MiGhT hAvE bEeN tRuE, I dId LoVe YoU,bUt ThEn YoU cHaNgEd, So My LoVe ReArRaNgEd, YoU wEnT fOr My FrIeNd, sO i SaId ItS oVeR... tHe EnD.