I am living,
But I don�t know why I�m living,
Because I�ve found,
That living isn�t living when I can�t be forgiven,
I am living,
Living but just waiting for forgiveness,
I am not supposed to be living,
And some people would say its none of their business,
I am living,
I have seen his face many times,
I have seen his face,
I have witnessed his crimes,
Over and over I am living,
Reliving the hurt that managed to sour this,
This life I am living,
Only to be reinforced by my own cowardice,
I am living,
I am guilt,
I am a living temple,
That has crumbled never to be rebuilt,
I am living,
I am a coward,
I am a a gutless dastard,
It�s my fault she was so forcefully deflowered,
I am living,
I am a sissy and a weakling,
I am a selfish coward,
I am the one who is here today speaking,
I am living,
Reliving the gun to her head,
I am reliving her rape,
I am reliving my chance to be shot in her stead,
I am reliving the mans words,
�I�ll let one of you live and its your choice�
But when it came time to answer,
I couldn�t find my voice,
I am living,
She is not,
Because the man said,
Well I guess she�s the one who gets shot,
I am living,
Reliving the way he looked at me,
And he was giving me a second chance,
This was obvious to see,
I am living,
Because again I could not speak,
I am nothing,
I am beyond weak,
I am living,
And she is not,
The begging look on her face,
Will never be forgot,
I am living,
It�s not fair,
I am living,
And she�s no longer here
I am living,
I am a lie,
I am living,
When I should have chosen to die.
I am living,
My life is my punishment for being a coward,
I am living,
For no other reason than to not be empowered.
I am living,
So into my depression I dive,
I am living,
But I am not alive