"Gentlemen, gentlemen," the self theorist reproves. "There may be some truth in what

each of you has to say, but our elephant friend doesn’t feel that you’ve gotten to the

core of her being. None of you has asked her about her impressions of herself. She

must feel quite left out."

"Like a specimen under a microscope," says the elephant.

"Creative," comments the trait theorist.

"Penetrating," remarks the psychoanalyst.

"A predictable response," sighs the self theorist.

The self theorist continues. "The elephant’s behavior may be influenced by unconscious

dynamic forces within her. She does appear to possess traits. And her reinforcement

history may explain some of her peanut- and popcorn-inhaling behaviors. There are also

environmental influences: she lies in the shade and wades in the pool when it’s hot.

Perhaps she had to learn that within our culture it is expected that elephants will fear

mice-" The elephant trumpets and rears on her back legs.

"All these things are true, but they are not the essence of the elephant," summarizes

the self theorist. "They are not his self."

"His self?" mocks the trait theorist. "A rather poor grammarian."

"Don’t blame him," says the social learning theorist. "It’s our educational system these

days."

"It may reflect some deep-seated conflict," notes the psychoanalyst. "His is

possessive. Him ends in m, the first letter of mother."

The self theorist is undaunted. "Gentlemen," he proceeds. "I am convinced that self-

awareness is the guiding principle of the elephant’s personality. I don’t buy that her

sense of self is but the tip of her personality, floating above the deep reaches of the

unconscious," he remarks to the psychoanalyst. "Note that I did not say he was

selfish," he says to the trait theorist. "Nor do I believe that her freedom of choice is

only an illusion," he says to the social learning theorist. "Her sense of self is inborn. It

will urge her to develop her unique potential."

"Fellows," the trait theorist addresses the psychoanalyst and social learning theorist,

"I’m thirsty. Let’s get something to wet our whistles."

"Just the stimulus I needed," agrees the social learning theorist.

"A little oral gratification never hurt," nods the psychoanalyst.

Moments later the elephant and the self theorist are quite alone. "Your ideas sound

good to me," consoles the elephant.