Gazel Investments Incorperated

We are devoted to the investments of the backsides of gazels, the little slimy things in the soil, and picturesque sphelling curperations. We plan to make a billion dollars to help benafit the gazels and sliming things living the soil. A simple invesator like you can invest a million dollars to help benafit the Christmas fiest for the gazels, and have hundreds of thousands left for your dream car.


Some ral hesturys

The story of John Johnson's benifit


"I was poor, I had just been laid off. I had no money, but I wanted to benifit the gazels. So i donated all the cash I had and got some money myslelf. I live in a mansion in the tropical rainforest, and have a liegon of catalacs. I eat gourmet meals every day, and at present I'm married to 9 people at the same time. And beacuase of my stunnig good looks due to cosmetic surgery that causted thousands. I engage in constant amonious promiscuarity"



That's right, you too can have this happen to you. All you have to do is donate a minimum of 100 dollars to the "feed the gazels and microscopic organisums in the sooil. And when we get 1,000,000,000 dollars, we'll have a Chrsitmas fiest to benafit the gazels.

As for the libral midea "claming" that were responcable for that masacure in Cleaveland, well let's just say that our chief of security is a viciuous and cruel person and his salary was cut after that praticuler incadent. As for the shoot-ups in Indonisia, it was communist savatoge, we had no part of it. And as for us dumping those chemicals into the water supply of the small town of Nebraska. It just happened that before the libral media came around, that town wsn't on the map. I dout it exists beyond the press's over-active imagination. And it makes us laugh just to think that we're in charge of that Burmuda Triangle scandel. As for the car wreck that the press clams that we wor reponciple for, saying that a truck full of nuculear matrals that belonhgs to our company crashed and destroyed the whole block, well besides the fact that all the witnesses were insinerated, in part of Gazel Invdstment Incorperated, we'd like to sayu that it was a filthy Chinese comunist who stuck a needle in the truck's tier.

Did you know that Gazel investment incorperated started off with 7,000 dollars and now has 7,000,000,000 dollars. And it used to be that every 2 seconds we got 2.3 billion dollars, but it's increased to every nannosecond. So by the time you're done reading these words, we'll probably have 26,000,000,000,000,0000 dollars. Our networth is approcamitly 7,000,000,000 dollars. Rumor has it that all our money is fake Monopoly money, but those rumors are not ttrtue whartsovcere, and I do not have my finfers crossed aasty tythjisd timne. SOrry, it's knida hard to type when your fingers are cr....anyway, gazel investment incorperated is the #1 leading company in the world, and it is pretty domanent in neerbye galixys. Invest now and we gaurentee that you will be treated like a God. (not a gaurentee)