I did my new job now. Every two weeks, Sunday night around one in the morning, I made my way to the make shift casino. I would see Toshimasa and he would lead me to the back room. I sat down, had three cigarettes and listened as the money was counted, before it was snapped shut in the same briefcase I returned before as it was handed back to me and then I left, returning to Jia's building. I handed Tai the case before I would go do something else. I did this for a month, each time the same actions. It was becoming a routine. I would see Toshimasa every time I went and he would always lead me to the room. I always saw that rose on his lapel and after a month of seeing him over and over again, I just had to ask. I walked in one evening, briefcase in hand as I walked over to Toshimasa. I bowed my head slightly as he did the same and we made some small talk. It had become a habit to now make small talk, chat every now and then. He asked about my ride here, how it was outside and I asked how his day was. Nothing too deep or personal. After our small talk, just before he started leading me to the room, I said,

"Toshimasa...may I ask you something?"

He paused, turning towards me as he said,

"Sure."

"Why do you have a rose on your lapel?"

He looked down at it as he smoothed his fingers over it as he said,

"No real reason. I just like it."

I nodded and accepted that answer. I then went to the back room as I sat down where Daisuke and the rest of his employees were. They began to count out the money again, my boredom setting in quickly as I took out a cigarette and lit it. Once Daisuke was done, the money being set inside the case, Toshimasa said,

"You should have your employer stop by one of our casinos."

"I doubt my employer would come here."

Toshimasa smiled slightly, his hand coming to his mouth as he said,

"No, not to this rat trap. I meant to one in Okinawa. Or Kyoto."

"I guess. I would have to discuss it with him first."

Toshimasa nodded as I saw Daisuke standing from the corner of my eye as he walked around the table and joined Toshimasa's side as he said,

"What are you discussing Totchi?"

"I'm inviting our associate here to one of our casinos."

Daisuke looked at me with that glare again as he then looked at Toshimasa and then said,

"If you're done..."

I took that as my hint to leave so I bowed my head to Toshimasa, the only one who deserved respect as I then turned and left.

Each time I went to see them it was like Daisuke had some hostility problem towards me. As if I had done something to wrong him. He didn't say anything, he was just rude and he acted as if my presence annoyed him. I told that to Jia as he said,

"He's one of those people."

"What people?"

"The kind of person that can't take it out on me so he'll take it out on my underlings."

"Oh...that's good to know."

He noted my sarcasm as he laughed and said,

"I'm sorry Aka-chan. He did pick you."

"I know. I don't even know why. I think he just likes to pick on me because I'm young."

"Probably."

He then sighed as I said,

"Oh, Toshimasa invited you to one of his casinos."

"What for?"

"I don't know. Being hospitable?"

"In my own country. How nice of him."

I laughed slightly as I said,

"Well I think he doesn't want to be enemies either."

"He's not Daisuke. Good."

"Toshimasa is a lot nicer."

He tapped my wrist slightly as I looked at him with slightly wide eyes. He had a cigarette in his mouth and since Toki wasn't there yet I lit it for him. He then exhaled as he said,

"You got a thing for pretty boys don't you?"

"I...do?"

"Sure. There's Miya, Akio is not have bad himself and there Sozaburo..."

"Excuse me?"

"Sozaburo. Ichiro. I know you know who I mean."

"Yeah but what makes you think anything happened? I don't even know him. He's like my boss. It would be like fucking you."

I stopped as he looked up at me with one eyebrow raised. I felt my face get warm as I said,

"I didn't mean for it to come out that way."

"I know. And you ramble when you panic. And I know."

"But...what would make you think that?"

"Toki."

"What's Toki know?"

"A lot more then people give him credit for. He let me know that you have small marks that you are free and clear of now, that you only get anytime you see Sozaburo. Toki noticed small kiss marks along Sozaburo's collar. So basically he just put two and two together. Plus, you only get those marks when we're in New York."

"Oh...I see."

"So, like I said. Miya, Akio, Sozaburo and if you add Toshimasa on your list..."

"I really doubt I will."

He laughed as he said,

"Good."

"Why good?"

"I think that's also a reason Daisuke might not like you."

"Oh God."

Jia laughed as I looked off to the side. A moment later, the door opened as Toki came in. He closed the door behind him and walked over to Jia's desk, sitting down on his corner as he rested his arms behind him. He wore his usual jeans, hanging low on him. So low the drop line of his body was able to be shown as they hung past his hips. He was also wearing wife beater and a shirt wrapped around his head again. He looked at Jia as Jia said,

"What are you wearing?"

"It's fuckin hot outside man."

"No, I mean on your head."

"My shirt."

Jia sighed, shaking his head as Toki smirked and then said,

"Hey Aka-chan."

"Hey Toki. When did you get here?"

"A little bit ago. I came to take Li home."

Jia sighed, standing up as he rubbed out his cigarette and said,

"Yeah, I'm gonna do that. Go home for now Aka-chan. I'll call you if anything."

I nodded as I then said,

"Oh wait, do you need me to take you home?"

Toki put his arm around Jia as he said,

"Nah, we'll take a cab."

"Okay."

I then went downstairs, taking the stairwell then the elevator with those two as I got to the garage and got on my bike. I was glad I didn't have to take them home otherwise I would have had to leave my new lover here. I got my helmet on and my gloves before I took off for home.

The last thing I needed was an enemy for supposedly wanting to fuck someone. I did think Toshimasa was attractive, but as a prospect of fucking him, it was completely out of the question. Not when I was working on getting Miya back. Since things were quiet and that was pretty much all that was going on, I basically had free time except every other Sunday when I went to collect the money from Toshimasa and Daisuke. I spent a lot of time seeing Miya again. Each day was around, showing him I was mark free and I was actually making the time to be there, he started to accept me a little more each day. He would sigh and call me persistent.

"You're like a gnat that won't go away Jo."

I laughed as I said,

"I'll leave you alone if you want."

He turned and clung to my wrist as he said,

"No, don't go."

I smiled as I kissed his cheek and took his hand in mine. We walked over to my bike as he said,

"You love this thing don't you?"

I nodded as I gave him my helmet as he took it and I said,

"Damn straight. It's my new lover."

Miya looked at me funny before he laughed. He got the helmet on as he said,

"You are so weird."

He got on after I got my gloves on as he put his arms around me and I took off to his apartment. When we got there, he got off the bike as he gave me back my helmet as he said,

"It's dangerous to ride one of those things without a helmet."

"I know. It's why I give it to you all the time."

He smiled at me as I said,

"I love you."

"Love you too."

I reached out for his hand as I pulled him closer to me and leaned up as he leaned down and we met for another kiss. A kiss is just touching of ones mouth to another. When you think about it, it's so simple but something so simple can rock your whole existence. I never felt anything like Miya before or since we broke up. Probably because all my emotion laid with him. He owns me. He owns my emotions, my soul, my heart...what makes me human. And he doesn't even know it. I don't let him know enough. I don't let him know at all. He's already rejected me twice...I couldn't handle it a third time. I had a feeling a third time of his dismissal would just send me over the edge. Our mouths parted as our tongues slowly touched, so shyly at first as I then bit his bottom lip, sucking on it for a moment as my hand reached up to his face. He held onto my shoulder as we stayed this way for a while. When we finally broke apart to breathe, he looked at me, his dark eyes peering into mine. I rubbed my thumb against his cheek as licked his lips and said,

"I should go."

"Yeah...me too."

But I kissed him again and he responded. He leaned down closer to me as he put his arms around me. He finally sat down on my bike again, in front of me, his arms around me as I held him close. We weren't usually so affectionate in public, but hey, it was late and it was just the two if us. He then pulled back for the second time as he kept looking at me, his hands coming down to the front of my shirt as he sighed, looking down for a moment as he softly said,

"You gotta stop making me feel that way."

"What way tsuki?"

I had called him tsuki. Something I had avoided doing since we broke up. He looked up at me as he said,

"Like I should take you back."

I reached up to his face, stroking his soft skin as he looked down still. His hands clung to my shirt as he frowned.

"It'll be like before. You won't be home for weeks or months at a time. I'll be left alone. I'll be scared all the time for you and me...wondering what will happen when you leave. I can't do that again..."

I couldn't say anything because there was no guarantee that it wouldn't happen again. I wish I could say that nothing like that would happen again. But I couldn't. Miya wasn't stupid. He was far from it. He wasn't frail, he wasn't helpless and he didn't need to be lied to. I knew he could do better then me because all the money in the world couldn't buy his happiness. I could give him everything he needs but when all he needs is someone to be there all night, I can't deliver. And money can't buy that. And someone else could give that. I didn't deserve him, but I wanted him all the same.

"I can't promise anything."

It was all I could say. And it was the truth. I fucked up before, I fucked again and I refused to be a fuck up my whole life. He didn't say anything. Instead, he leaned closer to me, putting his arms around me and I held him in return. I kissed his forehead as he then said,

"I have to go."

I nodded, slowly loosening my grip only when I felt him let go first. He then stood up as he looked at me once more and then started going to his apartment. I sighed to myself as I got my helmet back on, pulling my gloves on as I started up my bike and went home only after Miya went inside, closing the door behind him.

The next afternoon, I was lounging around my apartment, bored and with nothing to do. I thought about getting some shopping done or something, but I didn't find the energy to do anything but get up, shower and turn my stereo on as I went back to my room, got some sweats on and dried my hair with my towel as I laid down. I thought about getting my hair cut but I didn't really feel the need for it anymore. I realized it probably made me look like Aoki more but...oh well. I laid in bed for the most part, listening to Virtual Age by Pierrot as I thought. I was too lazy to do much of anything. I did eventually get up since I sought therapy and got dressed in some jeans and a shirt. However, once I checked the weather and saw how hot it was going to be, I changed shirts and got on a black wife beater. I picked up my shirt however and decided to pull a Toki and wrap it around my head and then tied the sleeves under my hair as I went out. I went for a walk rather then take my new lover. I wasn't really in the mood for the speed today. I needed someone to talk to. I wasn't sure who to seek though. I wanted to talk to someone but not Miya or Akio. I wish I knew where Tai lived. But knowing Tai, he was probably at Jia's building still. I took a cab there right away. Once I got there, I went upstairs to where Tai's office was. I was hoping I wouldn't bother him but if he's here then I probably would. I knocked on his door softly as I said,

"Tai...you here?"

"Yeah."

I opened the door as I saw him working away. I sighed as I said,

"Didn't mean to bother you."

"It's okay. I didn't know you had something to do today."

"I don't. I actually wanted to talk to you."

"Oh...I see. Come in."

I closed the door behind me as I said,

"Gabriel around?"

"No, he's home today."

"Oh. Okay."

I sat down as he looked at me as if waiting for me to start explaining why I just came all the way over here to see him. I sighed as I said,

"I think....maybe with some luck...I could get Miya to come back to me."

"I see."

"And I think I want him to because I really love and miss him."

"So what's the problem?"

"I just....I'm scared of myself. And what might happen later on."

"So why risk it?"

"Because...I can't sleep anymore. I miss him so much...it hurts to breathe without him. I feel like I can't sometimes. I listen to music and all I can do is think of him, sweet words and poems I wish I could say but can't. He's my sanity...without him I feel as if I have nothing to loose."

Tai looked at me before nodding and said,

"I know the feeling."

I slouched back in my chair as I said,

"I don't want to let him go and I know I don't deserve him but I still want him all the same. I miss my tsuki."

"He is your tsuki."

"Yes. All that is beautiful in the night. I love him. Tai, when it hurts to breathe when you don't have someone...that has to mean something."

He nodded as he tucked his hair back behind his ear as he said,

"Means that you're willing to do anything for that person. You'll kill for them, die for them and if it was in your power to do so, you would rearrange the stars for them. You would follow them into hell if you had to."

I nodded, knowing all that, knowing the feeling so well. I then said,

"Do you feel that way...about..Gabriel?"

He looked at kind of stunned before his expression somewhat hardened.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to pry." I apologized quickly.

He then sighed softly as he said,

"I do. And I value it more then anything in the world because I thought I would never ever feel that way again."

I bit my bottom lip as I said,

"I keep remembering how everyone told me, this is a taboo that will bring me more pain then a gun shot wound. And I'm suffering from inner turmoil. I'm afraid."

Tai smoothed his hair back again as he said,

"You have to do what you think is right. I can't tell you what to do."

I moved the chair closer to the desk as I put my head down as he laughed slightly. He the pat my head as he said,

"You're so young. How could you have so much drama now?"

I shrugged as I picked my head up slightly as I said,

"I don't know. I'm just feeling strange."

He gave me a sad smile as I rubbed my face slightly and said,

"Tai...you don't mind talking to me do you?"

"No. I feel like all my advice won't go to waste."

I smiled slightly as I said,

"I shouldn't bother you while working."

"It's okay."

I sat up slightly as I said,

"I should go. Let you get back."

He nodded as I said,

"Thanks for listening to me."

"Anytime."

I then left as I went back outside. I thought for a long time, going to my favorite thinking place which is Tokyo Tower. So as I sat on the floor and looked outside, looking at the view as I gave into my deep thoughts. I hated thinking a lot because nowadays, I just got up and went to get a drink. I decided to sit there this time and just look outside.

I spent all afternoon there before I heard my cell phone. I then took it out of my pocket as I said,

"Hai?"

"Hey Aka-chan."

"Hey Jia. What can I do for you?"

"I had a talk with Toshimasa and Daisuke."

"And?"

"They invited me to the casino in Yokohama but I'm not really up to going. I don't gamble."

"I see. So what would you have me do?"

"Well, since I have to eventually go there myself to see what kind of operation it is and I have to organize ways funds have to get there, I rather send someone."

"Oh...so I have to go to Yokohama?"

"If you would be so kind."

"Of course. When should I go?"

"Toshimasa and Daisuke said they were leaving tomorrow since they travel back and forth from here to Yokohama and from here to Okinawa. Since they're stopping at Yokohama tomorrow, you should go with them. Check things out, see how the business runs and then come back."

"Hai. I will. Is anyone else coming?"

"Yeah probably Aya since he's the other business head. He can do fine with a killer at his side."

After getting a few more details, we hung up and I went to pack since I had to pack for this one. I was only going to stay the night so I wouldn't bring much. I called Aya as he said he knew and had already made reservations at a hotel in Yokohama and had booked train tickets. All I had to do was show up.

The next morning, I got up, getting in my suit as I grabbed my bag and took a cab to the train station. I saw Aya standing there in his suit, some sunglasses on his face as his caramel bobbed hair fell around his face. He crossed his arms as he then saw me and said,

"Hey Aka-chan."

"Hey Aya."

He then looked at his watch as he said,

"Okay, let's go."

"Already?"

"Train is gonna board in like twenty minutes."

I nodded as Aya leaned down, picking up a small Louis Vuitton suitcase. We walked inside as we both showed our tickets to board the train and we then left. The train ride to Yokohama didn't take too long so I was able to just rest for a while. Once we arrived, we grabbed our things and headed out. I then said,

"Aya, where's Toshimasa and Daisuke?"

"They're already here."

He said as he removed his Dior sunglasses.

"Oh...okay." I said.

We walked out and then walked out from the train station as I hailed a cab and we went into the city. After getting to our hotel, we went to meet with Toshimasa and Daisuke. They owned a reasonable casino that was disguised as a small business building but if you were smart enough, you could get inside and gamble. Aya and I went inside as we went downstairs and checked out the much better and cleaner casino that was more or less a smaller version of Vegas. There were crap tables, roulette tables, poker tables, even smaller card tables. Aya and I walked around as Toshimasa greeted us. Ever the gracious host with a small smile, a bow of his head as he said,

"So glad at least one of you came."

I bowed my head slightly as did Aya as we then walked around with Toshimasa. He explained the route of the money, the usual customers and finally what Aya wanted to know.

"How much do you make a week?"

"About twice as much as we make in Tokyo. Since this is bigger and more organized and also more known underground."

Aya nodded as I said,

"How would get set up in a place like this?"

Toshimasa sighed slightly as he said,

"That I'm afraid is not my line of the business. I leave it Daisuke."

"You trust him blindly?"

Toshimasa looked at me as if I was mad for asking that. He then said,

"Yes. I do. I see no reason for why I should not."

Aya looked at me as Toshimasa turned and kept walking. We were walking behind him as Aya whispered,

"It's not easy to get in Yokohama unless you have money."

"They might have gotten from previous casinos."

"Maybe."

Aya looked as if he suspected something and frankly, so did I.

Toshimasa finally found Daisuke as the two looked at each other as if exchanging a message as Toshimasa turned and said,

"Jia's people are here."

"I see."

Daisuke glared at me with that hate again before he turned and said,

"I know Jia probably wants to know everything. Including connections. Since we had no connections with yakuza here, or in Tokyo, we made connections elsewhere."

"Elsewhere? Triad?"

"Not quite."

Aya stopped as he said,

"What do you mean not quite? You got Americans, Italians, Russians, Irish, the triad and the yakuza. And unless you mean outside of here and Hong Kong, then you better start talking."

Daisuke turned to Aya as he said,

"Yeah we got outside connections. From Bangkok."

Aya raised his hand to his face as he said,

"The Teo Chiu?"

"Yeah."

"They are not too happy with Jia right now."

Daisuke shrugged as he said,

"I'm a business man not a yakuza. I just run my casino. It's not my job to get involved in personal affairs."

Aya looked at me as I said,

"We had past troubles with the Teo Chiu and some of their associates."

Toshimasa nodded slightly as he said,

"We don't mean to cause any trouble. Like Daisuke said, we are just business men."

Daisuke went into his pockets as he took out his cigarettes and then lit one as he said,

"One of our associates is here as well. He heard that Jia was sending people to collect on his behave and since he is making money with us, it only made sense for him to be here as well."

Aya nodded as he said,

"Your silent partner?"

"More or less."

Toshimasa and Daisuke walked us to a back room. It was an office actually where Daisuke walked in first and allowed us in. Toshimasa came in last as the door was closed and I saw someone sitting in a chair in front of the desk. Smoke uncurled from the cigarette as I saw the hand holding it, three fingers covered in silver rings. My stomach knotted. Daisuke then walked over to the desk, adjusting his black suit as he sat down. Toshimasa walked over and stood beside him as Aya and I went over to the chair. Daisuke then waved his hand slightly as he said,

"I'm not sure if you two know him. This is Yamanaka Sugihara, associate of the Teo Chiu."

I felt as if I stared at the face of a ghost as Sugihara looked up at me, his dark eyes lined in black, his hair no longer a bring pink but a soft blonde color as it fell around his face. He pouted slightly in a smirk as he brought his cigarette to his mouth.

"Hey Akui...so nice to see you again."