The next day I was at the office bright and early. I couldn't sleep well last night after I got home after seeing Miya. His words kept echoing in my head, how angry and hurt he sounded...I couldn't get his distraught face out of my mind. So I didn't sleep well. So when it was almost seven in the morning, I got up and started getting ready for work. I didn't have work actually, Jia was still out of town and Tai wasn't assigning anything, but nonetheless, I got dressed after a warm shower and left to get some breakfast. I bought a cup of coffee as I headed to headquarters and went upstairs. It was around eight by this point, so I wondered if anyone was here. Much to my surprise, I saw Tai's office door was open, a faint light coming out as I approached the door and peeked in. I saw Tai working, writing away quickly as he reached up to his hair and tucked it back. His suit coat was hanging behind him on his chair as he had folders all around him, the curtains and blinds drawn so the room was dark and the lamp illuminating over him was his only source of light. I was surprised to see him by himself since Gabriel is usually around him somewhere. I knocked on the door as he looked up and said,

"Hey Aka-chan."

"Ohayo Tai."

"Morning? Already?"

"Hai. Worked all night?"

"Yeah."

He put his pen down as he stood up to his full height, stretching his arms up over his head as he sat back down with a heavy sigh. He then smoothed his hair back and said,

"Why are you here so early?"

"I couldn't sleep last night. So I decided to come in early. Maybe do something."

"There's nothing really to be done."

"Then why are you working?"

"I had some paperwork to do. I always have something to do here. More then so when Jia's away."

He offered me a seat as I sat down, setting my coffee on some clear desk space as I said,

"Where's Gabriel?"

"Out getting something to eat. He left a few minutes ago."

"Oh...he was working late too?"

"Yeah. We usually work late together."

I looked down for a minute, fidgeting with my hands as Tai said,

"Something wrong?"

"Not really."

"Okay."

He didn't push or pry. If I wanted to tell him I would. I looked at Tai, who seemed much more capable of being an oyabun then even Jia could be. Jia was smart yes, has attitude yes, skills and charm to make it all the way, but his emotions caused him to crumble. One word from Toki and Jia fell to pieces. Tai was a much better, well put kind of man. Someone that had his head on straight. No screwing up for him. I kind of wished I could grow up completely to be something like him one day. Anyway, I then said,

"Tai..?"

"Hm?"

He looked back up, drawing his attention away from his work again as I said,

"I...I'm not really sure what to do."

"About?"

"I don't really...know. Truth is, I like talking to people. I like to laugh and smile and just...be normal. But it seems like the only people that do that around here are Jia and Toki. Toki because he's just him and Jia being a masochist. Why are you so serious all the time?"

"You only really see me at work Aka-chan. I'm not like this all the time. I enjoy being normal every now and then."

"But you work like crazy anyway."

"I know. Because my own truth is, I don't have much outside of this job. This job is my life. I have nothing else."

I frowned as I picked up my coffee and said,

"I screwed so much already. A year into my job here and I already lost more things then I ever thought."

"I know the feeling."

"Nothings ever gonna be the same is it Tai?"

"Not after a lifetime of this...no. It'll never be the same."

"Is it lonely?"

"Is what lonely?"

"This whole existence."

"Yes. Very. But you have to get use to it. Otherwise, you'll die."

Two extremes I had to be aware of. Tai stood up after a few minutes and turned to his window as he pulled back the curtains and pulled up the blinds letting the morning light come in. He turned off the small lamp on his desk as he sat back down and said,

"Is that why you came here this morning?"

"Yeah...I was kind of hoping to talk to someone who would talk back."

"You're close with Akio."

"Not anymore..." I mumbled.

I mumbled it because the more I thought about it, the more I started regretting it. Not because it was something bad, but because of what it cost me. I was now marked as another notch on the playboy's belt. Another scratch on his bed head. One more name added in his black book. Tai then sighed and said,

"Not anymore?"

"No."

He didn't say anything, but I had a feeling he knew exactly what I meant. I felt really stupid all the sudden. I felt embarrassed...and more then ever I kinda understood why Mikkie didn't want anyone to know about him and Toki. Tai then sighed as he said,

"It's not my business."

"Things are complicated to me right now Tai."

He stood up for the third time, walking around and sitting in the chair beside me. He turned it towards me as I did the same and he said,

"You gotta know something right now Aka-chan. I know what you're doing. You're making a lot of mistakes that you'll have to live with. But the good news is, you can fix them. Fucking around with Akio is not gonna make things any better though it might bring a few moments of peace, it won't do you any good in the end."

I nodded as I looked down, still not being able to face him just yet as he said,

"You can't let Aoki know either."

"I know."

"So act like before. Like nothing happened okay?"

I nodded again as Tai then said,

"I told you this once before...we all need human contact, we all don't like to be alone. We can walk around hardcore and act like nothing touches us and we may be uncaring to everything and everyone...but truth be told, each and every one of us in this syndicate, would die without human contact. We all have someone Aka-chan. Every one of one us. Only some of us are more discreet then others."

I nodded as I said,

"You're like the father I never had."

"You have a father."

"Prove it."

I gave him a sad smile before I stood up, picking up my coffee and said,

"Thanks for the talk. Is there anything I can do?"

"Not really."

"Okay, I'll go then."

"I'll see you later Jo."

"Bye Tai."

I then left his office and headed downstairs. I bumped into Gabriel on my way out and smiled at him, his still platinum blonde hair falling around his face, blue eyes all the more radiant as he bowed his head slightly and said good morning to me. I repeated the same action before I excused myself and went on with the rest of my morning.

I didn't want to deal with anyone that morning. Instead I spent the rest of it sitting in Tokyo Tower. I sat on the floor overlooking the city as I listened to the chatter going on behind me. A lot of schools were their for school trips, girls in their uniforms and knee high socks with their little briefcase bags and their charms dangling off them, their giggles and their whispers as they walked around me, shouting "sugoi!" when they saw an amazing view. I've seen this view a hundred times. I just came here to get away from everything. Tourist walked around, other people walked around....and here I was, lost in thought, nursing a second cup of coffee. I thought about going out to have a cigarette but I didn't feel like moving. I stayed their all morning, just thinking, wishing, wondering. My thoughts were becoming the same pattern over and over again, so much so that I wished for a new thought. I asked a lot of questions, but I didn't know where to find the answers anymore. Everything was just as it had been for the past few months of my life. I hated that. I finished up my coffee as the schools gradually moved along to the museum and the aquarium and I was left alone with the view of Tokyo. I did eventually get up when my bladder was full and my stomach empty. After taking care of one problem, I went to tend to the second and let to get something to eat. I had sushi, picking at the ginger with my chopsticks as I rested my chin on my hand. I was thinking about how different things will be once I was assigned to work again with Akio. Business and personal are never mixed. A new lesson to learn. I couldn't let the way I feel fuck me up when I was working. Akio wouldn't, Mikkie's doesn't and neither will I. I sighed heavily as I went back to eating. I then looked to my side noticing how boring eating alone was. I could see why Jia hated to do so. I finished my lunch before I paid for it and then left. I walked around for a while, avoiding the area I knew Miya was staying at, but I wandered near Tokyo University. Hoping to at least catch a glimpse of him. I thought for a moment, wondering what it would have been like had I finished high school. Had I studied and made something of myself, would I be in college now? My major stress being my final exam not who's invading Tokyo or where I'm going to next. I did walk away eventually and continued with my walk.

Around six that early evening, Tai called me. He was calling everyone else in as well so I took the subway to the street and quickly arrived to the building a few minutes later. Tai let us know that Jia had called from Kyoto, all was going well that even the 24K from Thailand had made the trip to Kyoto to vouch on Jia's behave. The power that man is holding at the moment is incredible. Once Tai let us know everything for the time was fine, he dismissed us. I started to leave, finally starting to feel tired from a restless night, when I heard Akio talking to Gabriel not too far behind me. I went to the elevator, stopping to press the button as I yawned, covering my mouth. I heard Gabriel saying something as Akio then said,

"I'll call you later."

"Okay, later Akio."

I heard Gabriel walk past me as he took the stairwell down. I turned to my left and saw Akio standing there.

"Hey Baby-chu."

He kissed my cheek as he put his arm around me as I gave a small smile and said,

"Hi."

"What's going on?"

"Tired. Restless night."

"Want me to put you to bed?"

I smiled slightly, glad he wasn't using me for just a one time fling. He hugged me close as he whispered something in my ear and made me, for the first time in weeks, laugh. Then I saw Tai from the corner of my eyes as did Akio. Akio let go of me from around my waist as Tai gave me a look, not one of disapproval or anger, just a look, as if to remind me what we spoke of earlier. The elevator doors opened as I walked in and Akio did as well. We stood a few feet apart as Akio pressed the button for the lobby and the doors closed.

"You think he saw us?" I asked.

"Probably. It was just some kidding around though. I don't think he'd say anything to Aoki. Tai's not that kind of guy."

I shrugged as Akio came back over to me as he said,

"You weren't home all day."

"How'd you know?"

"I stopped by your place."

"Why didn't call?"

"Thought you might be doing something important."

"Nothing other then thinking."

He hugged me close as if embracing me, holding me close, not trying anything sexual for once. It felt nice to have someone hold me even if it was just for a little while. I held onto his coat for a moment before I said,

"How you been?"

"Good. How about you?"

I shrugged as I leaned my head against him and said

"Same as always."

I heard the elevator coming to a gradual stop and we both let go of each other as I started to go back home, Akio close behind me.

We did end up going back to his place where I fell asleep for a few hours. Akio let me sleep in his bed, he tucked me in his black silk sheets, letting me roll around in his soft Egyptian cotton bed spread as I hugged all the pillows, letting my hair fall over my face as I slept in my boxers. When I woke up again, it was because of Akio. He shook me awake as he said,

"Hey Baby-chu."

I yawned, rubbing my eyes as I said,

"Nani?"

"You been asleep for hours. You hungry?"

"Hai..."

"Get out of bed then."

"Did you cook?"

"Hell no. It's called take out."

I laughed as I got out of bed in my boxers and went to the dining room as I sat down and saw the food Akio ordered already served and waiting. He sat down beside me as we began to eat. I felt comfortable around Akio again. I thought things would change drastically but they didn't. After dinner, I was much more awake and I said,

"What time is it?"

"Almost one."

I nodded as I rubbed my eyes and said,

"I was tired all day."

"Why?"

"No sleep."

"And why did Baby-chu get no sleep?"

"I was restless."

"No wonder you were out like I light when I brought you here."

I nodded as I then set my chopsticks down and finished the last of my drink as I stood up and said,

"I should go."

"So that's it? You use my bed, eat my food, don't talk to me for hours and then just leave?"

"No, I just didn't wanna...inconvenience you."

"You're not. I'm not going anywhere. You can stay."

I gave him a slight smile as he stood up and said,

"Come on."

He walked me back to his room where I got back in his bed with him and laid down to sleep. Well...sorta. Hugging led to touching. Touching led to fondling and fondling led to fucking where Akio once again made me blind, deaf and mute. I thought because of the first time I had been with him he had made me shake and feel that way...but it turns out that was just Akio. As I started falling asleep again, out of breath and tired, I felt Akio's hand on my back as he kissed my shoulder and said,

"You going to sleep?"

I nodded, too exhausted to say anything else. I felt him get out of bed as the sheets fell over my waist and he went to the bathroom. I could hear the shower running in the distance as I finally fell asleep again.

The next morning, I woke up to feel Akio's arm around my waist. His forehead was against the back of my shoulder as our legs were entwined. It felt nice again. Almost...lovingly. I didn't move for a while but eventually I did, turning over as I held Akio close to me. He yawned for a minute before getting comfortable and then staying still. I smiled, stroking back his hair, watching him sleep on my chest as he held me like he would a pillow. Eventually, he did wake up once his phone rang. He reached over me as he looked down at me and smiled. He answered his phone as he kissed me then said,

"What?"

He looked at me as his free hand stroked my hair back and he spoke to whoever called him. Once he was finished, he threw his cell phone back on his night stand as I said,

"Who was that?"

"Friend. Wanted to make plans for tonight."

"Oh...you going?"

"Nah, I told him I'd call him back which usually means no."

"I see."

He hugged me as he kissed my lips and said,

"What are you doing today?"

"I don't know. I'm still a mess from yesterday."

"Tai said Jia and everyone else will be back soon."

"I expected."

"Last time, they stayed for a week. Of course they brought back a war with them."

"Sucks."

"Yeah."

My fingers held onto his shoulders as I looked at him, admiring his face as I said,

"Why were you being so weird that day?"

"What day?"

"When we first got together."

"I wasn't. I was serious, I said I'd call you later but you weren't home. And your cell phone was off."

I remembered shutting off my phone after Hisoka called me to let me know about Miya...I must have not turned it back on when I got back home.

"Oh...forgot to turn it back on."

"You hungry? Stupid question."

He laughed as he got off me and got out of bed and went to get ready as I did too.

For the rest of the week, Akio and I remained the same, which was fine with me because I didn't want anymore things changing. When Jia came back, we all waited for him at the train station. He seemed a little tired, but no more then usual. Toki wore an almost all white outfit which looked weird on him because...white is the color of purity and Toki's far from pure. Aoki and Mikkie were the same as always and the only thing left to do was to go back home. Jia explained to Tai, who sat in the passenger seat of the car I was driving while Jia and Toki sat in the back, about Kyoto, how everyone is doing fine and other then the breaks from Jigoku, the bad terms with the Teo Chiu and the marriage, all was well. Jia was doing fine and Nishiki was keeping everything on a level. Jia seemed at ease with himself, Toki was yawning, showing how bored he was as Jia said,

"Last time I was this calm, some huge shit started up."

"Anything with Yokohama?"

"Hai...since Shido died and Seta left everything to me, I stand to hold a lot of power...and a lot of enemies."

"You always got enemies Li." Said Toki.

"That's true."

He lit a cigarette as he said,

"So, okay Tai, tomorrow, we'll get busy with the deals in Yokohama. Also, I'll have to see Seta sometime soon. I finally got the chance to see him in Kyoto but we're far from done dealing business wise."

Tai nodded as I pulled up to Jia's building. He and Toki got out as they grabbed their bags and headed off. After dropping Tai off, I went home myself. Jia said whenever he was calm, something would happen, so I wondered what was peeking over that horizon. Sure enough a few days later I got my answer. Nishiki came to the building in a frantic rush one early evening. I escorted him up to Jia's floor and opened the door for him as he went inside. Jia notioned me in as well to stay since I had to stick around for my orders. Nishiki swept his hair back as he said,

"We have problems Jia."

"Which would be?"

"Seta's dead."

-------------------

Definations

Sugoi: Wow