Being back home was once again being normal. Back to being Jo, back to being nineteen again. Though the longer I stayed away from being home, the more boring I found it on my return back. I couldn't help being bored everyday I sat around doing nothing. Miya was sometimes busy, he had his own life and plans to attend to. Sometimes I went with him, sometimes I opted to stay home by myself and more often times, I chose to go out and see Akio. During my time off, I also got to see Hisoka again. Hisoka would never be the same as I remembered him. On the right side of his face, near the bottom of his jaw, he had a crossed, jagged scar, coming from his jaw line, going across his cheek and under his eye. On his cheek was the healed skin of his scar. It didn't match his skin tone, since it seemed a little darker then the rest of him. He had also grown his hair out and parted it on the right so it wouldn't be so obvious, his green contacts still in place. When I spoke to him, I had felt so sorry for him and I felt angry at myself for that night. I should have seen who it was before I let Akio tempt Sugihara's man. Hisoka didn't seem to care. He flowed on like nothing had changed. And I guess in a way it didn't. I sat with him in the Shibuya district as I spoke to him, noticing how his hair fell over his right eye now, the ends of his hair coming down to his chin while the left side was free and clear of his blonde hair. He smiled slightly as he saw me staring.

"What's wrong Aka-chan?"

"Huh? Oh....nani mo."

"You've been quiet since we sat down."

"I'm just wondering about...your scar and stuff."

Hisoka shrugged as he said,

"Oh that. Don't worry about it."

"I know that did so much damage."

He shrugged again before he said,

"Yeah it did. But I'm alive. Which is what's most important. Plus it didn't fuck up anything that couldn't be fixed."

I nodded as I then said,

"I'm sorry I couldn't see you more often."

"Aka-chan, you're working. I'm a lower head. I know that you're bound to be busy more often then I will ever be."

"Doesn't it bother you that I was promoted and you weren't?"

"Not really. If I was gonna be a top head, Jia would have seen it in me the minute I walked through the door. Jia knows what he's looking for. It's why there's only nine top heads and over hundreds of lower heads."

I gave a slight nod as Hisoka took a drink from his glass and then said,

"You seem distracted."

"Just thinking."

"About?"

"I'm really bored here."

He laughed as he set his glass down and picked up his chopsticks again. He pointed at me with them as he said,

"A true sign of a top head. Bored when he has time off."

It took me a little while to understand what Hisoka had meant by that. I didn't mean I was bored with Miya and that I enjoyed my job, being paranoid every few moments...it couldn't possibly mean that. But when I was home and my cell phone didn't ring, I did grow bored. I wanted something to do. I wanted to go out, do my job, stay out and not sleep at night anymore. My first few days back home, I couldn't sleep at night. I ended up staying up watching TV while Miya slept in the next room. I was going out of my mind not having anything to do. And worst off, I felt really withdrawn from everything normal I use to do when I would get back home. When I went out with Miya and his friends, I found what everyone was talking about to be so minimal and unimportant. It was pointless chatter, gossip being passed around that wasn't even all that shocking. They complained about parents and curfews, lack of funds, not having rides, having to walk everywhere, the latest fashion craze, bands and their rumors. Meanwhile I was worried about nothing of that. I lived on my own, I made more money then I knew what to do with, I wasn't into fashion in Tokyo because I dressed like a New Yorker. Always had even before I was a yakuza because Aoki always sent me clothes from there and I could afford it here. I pushed luxury cars and knew nothing of parents or curfews. I found myself annoyed and bored...which is what made me stop hanging out with Miya and his friends. Things with Miya were different, but never bad. He still made me glad to be with him. In fact he was the only reason I was glad to be home and out of action. He would look at me, his dark brown eyes that I had always been in love with, as he would tell me he loved me, that he was worried for me, that he noticed subtle, yet obvious changes in me.

"What's happening to you Jo?"

I shrugged, not knowing how to explain myself at the time. But I knew what I was becoming. I was gradually, realizing Miya's greatest fear. That I was becoming a true to life born and bred yakuza. Much like those he hated I worked with. I didn't mean to be, but it was something I was slowly starting to enjoy, something I wanted to do and be a part of everytime. I reminded Miya that whatever may change me, won't change my love for him...which was true. Miya had a hard time accepting it. I tried not to make it any more difficult by revealing my true nature.

However, anytime I stepped out of my apartment, I lit a cigarette and went to go make trouble. I would hit clubs and parties with Akio or Hisoka. During this time was also a celebration on Jia's following success which I went to. I was too damn pleased with everything going on that I would stay there, party all hours of the night and mess around Akio a lot of the time. I started to drink more heavily during this time since I was gradually building a tolerance to it. I had a long way to go before I even came close to anyone's tolerance, but I drank anyway. I had fun and I lived it up for as long as I could. Miya meanwhile, hated that I seemed to be living separate lives. One with him, one outside my apartment. I couldn't help it. I tried to make him understand that I wasn't keeping anything from him, I just didn't want him to see what I was like when I was working. And it hadn't occurred to me until then that I was practically cheating on him...though I didn't really consider it cheating and neither did Akio but it would be to Miya.

I was having a hard time keeping myself busy when I was home. I was bored most of the time that I just slept. After all the celebrations were over, I stayed home, sleeping through the morning and most of the afternoon, waking up in the early evening and staying up all night. I would make love to Miya for the most part, just to have him sleep beside me. He would sleep beside me unless he had something to do and he would also hold onto me, his fingers lingering over the back of my shoulder as he kissed my collarbones and told me he loved me as he dozed off to sleep. This was my life. A balance between everyday life and my job. Between being bored but safe and being excited, but scared all at once. Miya was getting ready to go back to school soon and he went to fix his schedule one afternoon. He asked me to go with him, but I told him I couldn't. Plus I was tired from not sleeping at night. Once he did leave, I found myself laying awake a while longer. I got out of bed as I went to the window and pulled it up as I got my cigarettes from my suit coat pocket and lit one as I sat on the floor but hung my arm outside so the smoke would fill the room. I also had to tilt my head to the side and aim towards the window to exhale the smoke since I was too lazy to stand up. As I sat there, I heard my cell phone ringing on my night stand and I flicked the cigarette out the window as I got up and went to answer my phone. It was Akio asking me if he wanted to have lunch later. I was thankful for having an excuse to go somewhere and I agreed even though I was tired. He told me to meet him at Jia's building since he was working on some minor things.

"I'm just finish up some shit here. Come meet me here in like...twenty minutes, half hour."

"Okay. I'm on my way."

I took a shower and then got dressed in my dress pants and a black button down, but I didn't tuck it in and I rolled up the sleeves as I grabbed my sunglasses, wallet and shoes as I then left.

A little while later, I arrived at headquarters where I walked into the lobby finding it empty. I was about to check my watch to see how early or late I was and took out my cell phone to call Akio. The elevator opened a moment later and I saw Aoki. He was here again. He didn't look all bad, his hands were in gloves though and that was about the extent of his wounds. Then again he was in long sleeves so I couldn't even see. Anyway he didn't say much to me as usual, just gave a wave as I said,

"How are you?"

He nodded, lighting a cigarette as he exhaled and said,

"Better."

Since I had my cell phone in my hands, when it rang, it startled me and I excused myself to answer it I found out it was Akio and I let him know I was here. I saw Aoki sitting down on the couch in the lobby as he leaned his head back and had his cigarette. A little while later, Akio came downstairs to join me as he put his arm around me and kissed my cheek as he said,

"Hey Baby-chu. You ready to go?"

I nodded as I playfully nudged him and we started to leave as we both heard,

"Akio..."

We looked over at Aoki as he stood up and said,

"Can I talk to you for a sec?"

Akio nodded as he looked at me and said,

"I'll be right back."

The two went into an empty office around the corner as and I waited around. But ever curious, eavesdropping me went around the same corner and decided to listen in on the conversation. I leaned against the door slightly, being careful not to hold my weight against it I listened. Akio and Aoki never really talked much, so for Aoki to have a sudden interest in speaking to him made me curious.

"Listen Akio, you know I don't give a fuck when it comes to you stickin your dick in whatever comes your way, but that's my fuckin kid."

"Damn Aoki, I wouldn't do that shit to him."

"I know you playboy. Don't fuck up his life more then it's already gonna be. He's got someone outside this fuckin syndicate, don't ruin it for him."

"You aint give two shits about the fuckin kid ever and now because I'm being nice to him your wanna get on my shit about it?"

"You already know I busted Toki's ass for that shit he pulled before and he's a friend of mine. You're a friend too so I'll do you the favor of fore warning you now. You put your hands on my kid for any other meaning then a playful gesture and I'll bust your ass Teru. Don't think I won't because we're friends."

"Yeah...all right Aoki...I got you."

I moved away from the door quickly as I ran back around the corner and leaned against the wall as if I had been waiting for Akio the whole time. Once Akio came back he smiled as he gestured for us to go. I was wondering though, why would Aoki suddenly care? Did he really do something to Toki because of what happened before? And why'd he call Akio, Teru? I was wondering that the whole time afterwards. As we had lunch, I was still thinking about that. Finally I decided to stop wondering.

"Akio...?"

"Hm?"

"What did Aoki wanna talk to you about?"

"Work shit."

"Akio?"

"Hm?"

"How dumb do you think I am?"

He looked at me as he lit a cigarette and said,

"Smart ass."

I gave a slight smile as he exhaled and said,

"Aoki doesn't want me to touch you."

"You already did."

"He doesn't want it to get any further then that. He says I shouldn't try to get between you and Miya and leave it alone. I'm your big brother, your partner and that's all it should be at."

"Why does he care?"

"It's Aoki's subtle way of saying he's always cared. After that thing with you and Toki back in California, he really kicked Toki's ass. They had it out and Toki took it quietly because he was warned. He didn't tell Jia because he knew he had it coming. He's still your father despite everything."

"I know but...he really never acted like it...ever. I got use to him not caring."

"It's because your something better then all of us. You got someone that you love, your smart and you're not absorbed into this lifestyle yet. I think Aoki wants to keep it that way."

"It's not like you would have any influence on that just because we mess around."

"It might."

"Why'd he call you Teru?"

He looked at me directly in the eye as he inhaled his cigarette again and said

"I told you about that eavesdropping shit."

"I was curious. If it was just about work, I wouldn't have listened in. But why did he call you Teru?"

Akio sighed, rubbing out his cigarette in the little fake metal ashtray on the table as he said,

"It's my name."

"I thought Akio was."

He shook his head as he said,

"Akio is my father's name. I guess it's about time I told you. If I don't someone else will."

He sat up slightly, tucking his hair back behind his ear as he said,

"That picture I showed you of my mother and me, is me. That was me when I was twenty-three or so. When my mom passed away, I became a yakuza, that was already known. But what I didn't tell you is how I was the head detective in Tokyo, so I was a public figure. To become a yakuza, I had to get rid of myself...so I did. I had plastic surgery done on my whole face. I had my eyes reshaped, my nose, my forehead everything redone so I wouldn't be recognized. I even had my fingerprints removed."

He lifted up his hand as he showed me the pads of his fingers and I saw it was smooth flesh, not a single line remained. Which explained why his hands were so soft all the time.

"I had my named changed, from Teru to Akio and that's why he called me Teru. It's why every now and then you'll hear Toki call me Teru-chu...it's why I have this line on the side my face."

The fading scar along side his face that I didn't notice until that one day in New York. I looked down at my hands as I said,

"Oh....I didn't know."

"Baby-chu, everyone in this syndicate will baby you because you're the youngest, must inexperienced one. We do that to whoever is the youngest. We watched over Mikkie like a baby when he joined because he looks so fragile though he could take anyone on. We babied Aya because he's so pretty and now, we'll baby you. Aoki means well...and he's right. You don't love me and I don't love you. You love Miya and that's how it should stay."

I nodded as I finished my lunch and then said,

"I didn't mean to get you in trouble."

He laughed it off as he said,

"Don't worry about. Trouble would be Aoki talking to me the way he did only with his gun in my mouth. That's trouble."

I gave a slight smile as we finished up.

Aoki was never a father. Everyone in fact told me, Tachimine Aoki will never be anyone's father. And at first it bothered me that I wouldn't know my father ever, but then I got use to it. Aoki may not be an ideal father, but he's possessive of things around him. Like Aya for instance. And I guess I would fall somewhere in that category since I was his blood. A further extension of him...since apparently I carried a lot of his characteristics and mannerisms. On more then one occasion, someone would watch me do something and get freaked out because it was something Aoki does and I did it in the same exact way. Anyway, as long as I was home, I was content because I had Miya by my side. I could sleep through the afternoon, feeling his fingers on my lower back as he traced the outline of my tattoo with his fingertips, each touch would make me shiver, leaving gooseflesh on my body as I kissed him in return and do the same to the pattern on the side of his body, my fingers touching the lines, the flower petals or tear drops, whatever they were on the side of his thigh, the side of his hip bone, all the way his rib cage. So I was home. And though I loved being there....

...I couldn't wait for Jia to assign me to something soon.

I was bored. Everyday it was too much. But I made the best of it.

"Akio what do you do when you're off duty for so long?"

I asked him this as he took a shower one afternoon. Since we decided that there would be no more line crossing between us and it would remain a strictly partners only friendship, I lost all ability to get shy around him. I sat in his bathroom that afternoon, swinging on the Chinese basket like it was some toy for me to play with as I waited for him. The shower shut off as he said,

"I don't know. I usually keep myself busy."

"Doing what."

"Partying mostly. Getting laid and getting drunk. In other words, I hang out with Toki more."

"Are you and Toki friends?"

"Yeah I guess. Him and Aoki are better friends, but we're pretty good friends. The door opened to the shower as he stuck his hand out and I pulled a towel off the rack as I flung it to him. He caught it as his arm went back inside the shower and I kept swinging.

"I'm really bored here without anything to do. I feel so useless."

He laughed as he said,

"Yeah, it happens when you get use to the action. Don't worry about it, something sooner or later will come up. There's always some damn idiot out there that thinks they're better then Jia and we'll be right back to work."

He stepped out of the shower with the towel around his waist as he closed the shower door and walked over to his sink as he looked at his reflection. I stopped swinging as I leaned back in it and said,

"Do you think we'll leave Tokyo again?"

"I don't know. Depends on where the action is coming from."

"What about Cali?"

"Cali sucks. Before you didn't smoke so you didn't know, but now you do and I'll tell you this, it sucks."

I laughed as he then picked up his clean boxers from the sink counter as he got them on under his towel and said,

"Don't stay swinging on that thing."

"I can't believe you actually use this thing."

"I don't see why I shouldn't. It's fun."

I laughed as I leaned back in it further, almost laying down as I looked at my reflection as I said,

"So...what are you doing today?"

He threw the towel aside as he started combing his wet hair and said,

"I'm going to have dinner with a few friends here...then I'm going clubbing."

"Can I tag along?"

"What about Miya?"

"Oh...right."

He laughed as he said,

"Tomorrow I'll take you out Baby-chu."

"Okay."

I got out of the basket as he took my hand to help me as he finished getting dressed and I went back home.

God I was bored of doing nothing. I remembered Hisoka's words then by what he meant of a true sign of a top head again. I never realized how right he was.