I couldn't help what I felt. I couldn't help it no more then the wind blowing a flower petal. I didn't mean to fall as deep as I did but the more I spent time with Miya, the more I started to feel for him. Miya was perfect for me, pretty, smart and just sweet. He was the person I knew from my childhood someone I watched grow up beside me and now became something much more then that. While I was working, I was surrounded by women who tossed themselves at me, surrounded by beauty unparalleled like Tsubasa and Aya...but it all over passed me and I could only think of Miya. Just being home, going home to him, being in his arms again. Spending time with him got me to know him better as a lover, rather then just my friend. I had never slept with anyone....aside from Toki but like Jia said, that doesn't count. But anyway, I had never slept with anyone before...neither had Miya so the both of us didn't know what to do. I was in no rush to get him to put out, but we got closer everytime. Miya was lonely for affection, me leaving him everytime just made it worse. But he was so devoted...I had no reason to ever mistrust him. One night, we were laying down, his leg over my hip as we laid on our sides. I had my hand on his thigh, the materiel of his drawstrings was wrapped around my fingers as I felt his leg tense every now and then. We kissed, our once shy, bashful butterfly kisses had given way to more passion, our tongues touching as our lips never left contact. I had my other arm around his back, keeping him close as his hands were on my chest, his hair falling in any space between our faces. We kept kissing, my hand going up higher on his leg as he made little mews every now and then. I wasn't sure if I should stop or keep going but when I felt his hips move, I kept going. Our mouths parted as he said,

"Jo..?"

"Hm?"

"You don't know when you'll have to leave again?"

"No. I wish I did."

He got quiet, his eyes looking down for a minute before he looked back up and said,

"Jo..."

I looked at him as I kissed him one more time and said,

"Yeah?"

"Jo...I love you."

My world came to a halt that night. I looked at him as he stared back into my eyes, the dim lamp being our only source of light so I could see his dark brown eyes peering at me, waiting for a response.

"I love you too Miya."

I kissed him again, in between our kisses, telling him I loved him.

We didn't do anything else that night. I was lolling in the fact that he loved me. Miya, my tsuki loved me like I loved him. When we woke up the next morning, Miya was right there, opening his eyes at me as he smiled. He sat up as he leaned over me and rested his folded arms on my chest as he said,

"Ohayo."

"Ohayo."

"Sleep well?"

I nodded, reaching up to his hair, smoothing back. His head turned towards my palm as he kissed my palm and said,

"I love you."

"Love you too."

He then leaned down and kissed me as he said,

"When I get back from class, we should have breakfast. You like that?"

"Sounds good."

He hummed as he leaned down again, resting as I put my arms around him and said,

"What time does your class start?"

"Not until later."

He stayed there with me until he cut it close and got dressed up and went to class.

I stayed home for a while, feeling in love, happy though the dark reminder of life stared out at me when I opened my closet after I took a shower. I had to get dressed because I knew Miya would be home soon. After getting on a pair of clean boxers, I opened the closet, toweling my hair off as I saw my suite and tie hanging there, turning slightly as the end of the gun was hiding inside the pocket. My life was turning dark and light all at once. I felt like I was sitting on the center of the abyss and the light, my job holding me into the depth, Miya bringing me out. I grabbed some jeans and a shirt as I closed the closet door and got dressed. Miya got back home a little while later once I was dressed. My hair was almost dry as Miya dropped his books off and then checked his hair. He turned around as I saw he was dolled up for me again as he reached his hand out for me. I took it as we then went to get some breakfast.

As we went for a walk after breakfast, hand in hand as we started getting use to do that, much to my surprise as I saw Hisoka. I had not seen him in so long that when I did see him, it was actually a pleasant surprise. I saw his hair had gotten a little longer, falling closer to his mouth, still blonde, his green contacts still present as he walked down the street. He was in semi casual clothes, as if he wasn't working for the time. When we saw each other, he gave a smile, walking over to me as he said,

"Joryu."

"Hey Hisoka."

"How you been?"

"Good. Well, better then good."

I saw his eyes wander to Miya who was standing beside me, our hands together. I then said,

"Hisoka...this is Miya."

I saw Hisoka give a slight smile as he shook Miya's free hand.

"So...you're Miya."

Miya nodded as he said,

"Nice to meet you."

Hisoka gave a nod of his head as he and I then exchanged small talk and then he went on his way. Miya didn't seem to like him too much...but I couldn't blame him. Miya seemed very upset about my job. Actually he didn't seem upset, he was upset. When we got home, he came up to me, putting his arms around me, again feeling every inch of him against my body as he kissed me. I put my arms around him as I said,

"What?"

"Jo...why don't you quit?"

"Quit...my job?"

"Yeah. You don't really need it."

"I do need it Miya. We need the money."

"Couldn't you work somewhere else?"

"Miya...I can't."

He looked down as his hands rested on the back of my neck. He frowned as he said,

"But...you'll leave again. And what if something happens to you? You already have that scar on your arm...what if it's worse next time. Who would tell me if something happened to you?"

"I know...but it's a risk I have to take. I'll be as careful as I can and I promise I'll do everything in my power to come back to you in one piece so you never have to worry about me. I'll call you more...now that we live together, I don't really have to worry about your parents."

He nodded, his hair falling over one of his eyes as he frowned and said,

"I don't want you to go. I love you."

My heart felt so light yet so weighed down by the concept of his love. I kissed him once more before we went to go do something else.

I spent the beginning part of the winter at home. I didn't hear from anyone that had to do with the 36 Moons except for Hisoka every now and then until early January. My first year as a yakuza was slowly closing and I was actually more content being home and being normal. But when my phone rang that second day of January I knew my vacation was up. Jia called me in to work. I got up and got dressed, Miya sadly looking up at me as he helped me with my tie and then adjusting the lapels of my coat. I tried to make him stop being so sad when I told him I was just going to the office. I wasn't leaving town. He nodded, biting his lip slightly as I then kissed him and went on my way. It was colder outside. Nothing too badly, but it was cold. I put my hands in the pockets of my overcoat as I took a cab to the building. When I got there, I took off my coat and swept my hair back as I took the elevator up to Jia's office. I knocked on the door as he asked me to come in. He smiled as he said,

"Hey Aka-chan. How you doing?"

I gave a smile as I said,

"I'm fine Jia. How are you?"

He nodded as he offered me a seat. I sat down, putting my coat on my lap as he lit a cigarette. He then leaned back in his chair as he said,

"Enjoying your time off?"

"Hai. Has anything been going on? I mean...it's been so long since you've called for me."

He inhaled his cigarette as he said,

"Actually no. That's why we came back to Japan."

"I see."

"We do plan on going onwards to adding Seoul to my empire."

"Sou ka. You need me to...do what exactly?"

"Need you to first off be honest with me."

I nodded as he rested his chin on his hand, his elbow on his desk as he inhaled his cigarette again.

"You still seeing Miya?"

I nodded.

"I don't usually care Jo. I really couldn't. But if you noticed, most of us, don't date. We don't date, we don't marry, we don't commit."

"Hai. I know."

"Those that are married are usually in a high position to take care of their family. I don't encourage anyone who works for me to start seeing anyone. And not because I rather see you all miserable and alone. It's just not in your best interest."

"My best interest?"

"Hai. You can do what you want. I'm no one, not even your employer, to tell you what to do with your life. I'm just warning you Jo...you'll find out the hard way what I mean."

"I've heard this all before Jia. About love being a taboo. How it could get me or the one I love killed...about Tai and his family. I heard it all."

He looked almost surprised. I then looked down as he said,

"It's all true. And I'll tell you something else."

He stood up as he walked around his desk and sat down on top of it. He exhaled the last of his cigarette as he put it out in a small crystal ashtray and said,

"I feel too much for people around me. I felt Tai's family's death was my own fault. It was a responsibility I place on myself because it's my war. It was my fight, my battle, my bloodshed that should have never spilt over to an innocent pregnant woman her son. Since then...I don't want anyone else who works for me...especially you to feel pain like that. I don't want to be responsible for spilling innocent blood."

"It wouldn't be your responsibility Jia. It would be mine. I am choosing to ignore everything being told to me."

He sighed, brushing his chin length hair back as he said,

"People do stupid things when they're in love. Okay Jo...do what you want. Like I said, I'm no one to tell you how to lead your life. But I will say this...should anything, heaven forbid happen to the one you love, the pain will be more then you can handle."

I nodded. I then stood up after he gave me permission to go. At the door I stopped as I said,

"Jia...when will you being going to Seoul?"

"In about a week. I have to get things organized with Nishiki here."

"Will I have to go?"

"I'd like you to."

I looked back at the door as I then sighed and said,

"I'll be ready to go in a week. Please let me know when we're leaving."

"All right."

"Arigato."

I then left his office as I started putting on my coat as I started going back home.