With the death of Choong Jae at my own hands, Jia was more then pleased. Now that he had one less problem to think about, everyone else took it upon themselves to celebrate....with a huge party.

Yakuza style....

Jia had rented out an entire floor of a hotel a few nights after Choong Jae's death. We were all relieved and best off, anxious to celebrate and even if it was just for a little while, to let our guards down. With the rented out hotel floor, the area over flowing with women, booze and of course...yakuza, I was left to attend my very first grown up party. Though...it seemed like any other party I had ever gone to in Japan. I sat alone since everyone else, even Akio was through the area having a drink, flirting and looking to get laid. I didn't want any of that. I was looking forward to going home again. I wanted to see my tsuki again...his absence started to wear on me. I had a drink as I put my mp3 player on, sticking the earphone in one ear as I sat in the most vacant area which happened to be outside in the hallway, near a window. The moon had come out that night, filling the area with a bitter sweet scene. I thought of falling sakura petals touching gently on a lake in a full moon. I got very poetic to myself.

I was sitting there for almost two hours, my mp3 player going through my usual odd mix of songs as I sat there looking at the moon. I sighed to myself until I felt someone sitting beside me. I saw it was Akio, a cigarette hanging from his lip, the collar of his shirt undone, his jacket in his hands rather then on him. He tucked his hair back behind his ears as he said,

"Hey Jo."

"Hi."

I stopped my player as I said,

"Having fun?"

"I was about to ask you that."

He gave me a cigarette as he lit it for me and I held my drink in my hands. I had been nursing that drink for hours now. I took a sip as I said,

"What's everyone up to?"

Akio inhaled his cigarette as he exhaled and said,

"Well...Jia's somewhere in the master room, talking with Tsubasa, Yuki, Takeo...and whoever else has to be in there. Most of the girls are in there, sitting on their laps or on the floor looking up at them like cats. Last I saw of anyone was Jun and he was on his sitting at a table eating with Gabriel and Tai since they're not big drinkers. That was the last I saw of anyone from our syndicate. There're females running all over the place. Don't you want some?"

"Nah...I'm content here."

He smiled as he said,

"You just wanna see Miya."

I nodded, knowing it was true. He leaned back, holding himself up with one arm as he said,

"The only other yakuza I knew that was that devoted, was Tai."

"Why Tai?"

"Tai was married once. Had a wife and a kid. Two kids actually. One was on the way."

"What happened?"

"They were killed. Tai never really got over it. He never talks about it though. I don't think he ever wants to think about it. But everyone's got their demons."

"I know."

He sighed as he said,

"Going home after this?"

"I guess so."

"No I mean to Japan."

"As soon as Jia says I can I'm on the first plane out."

He patted my shoulder as he said,

"Want another drink?"

"Nah. I'm good. I don't have the head for liquor."

And I didn't. Akio convinced me somehow to have another drink. And another...and another. And pretty soon, I was loosing focus and falling out of my chair all while cracking up at Akio who was laughing at me. I was so drunk that I don't remember what happened in between some times I was laughing. I do remember going into a room and finding an empty bed, laying down, passing out cold. I slept for hours, sleeping off my first drunken stupor. When I woke up some time later, my vision was hazy and it was still dark outside. I picked up my head slowly as I felt the bed rocking. The more I started paying attention, the more I started hearing things...like moans. I turned to my side as I saw someone was beside me fucking! I gasped and fell off the bed as I heard someone curse as they got up too. I got up from the floor despite how dizzy and sick I felt as I felt someone slam me against the wall. I opened my eyes to see Toki right in front of me as I tried to move his hands back.

"What are you doin here?"

"I fell asleep. Get off me.."

Toki did let go as I rubbed my neck from where he had me pressed against the wall as I heard another voice telling Toki he should sit down because he was drunk too. When I looked back up, through the semi darkness of the room and the rising sun of the new day, I saw it was Mikkie, his hair pulled up and held in a messy, loose bun by a hairband that allowed longer strands of hair to fall around his face. His shirt was open, his pants undone. Mikkie then said,

"Joryu, go home."

He looked a me when he said it. I felt the coldness of his eyes then, the chill that ran through his voice as I rubbed my neck and left the room. I bumped right into Akio as he said,

"There you are. Been lookin for ya. You wanna go?"

"Uh huh."

I didn't say another word and let Akio lead me out.

I slept off the rest of my drunken state in my own apartment. I didn't get up for the rest of the day because any time I did, my head hurt like hell. When I did finally feel well enough to get up, I went and took a hot shower and then got dressed in some of my causal clothes I bought here and went to get something to eat. I had not had the chance to go out and buy anything, food wise for the apartment, so I just left everything empty. I went out and got some food in my empty stomach, concerned with my thoughts and actions now. Toki already hated me. If not for putting up a struggle when he raped me then for breaking his upper lip and Mikkie was starting to talk less and less with me, making little to no eye contact with me since I accidentally stumbled upon his secret...more then so last night. I didn't mean too. How could they not notice me passed out on the same bed they started fucking on? Not my fault...but still...I wish I didn't know. I didn't need to make anymore enemies in something like the 36 Moons...and Toki was the worst and most powerful enemy I can make. He could convince Jia to do anything...and that includes firing me. I was trespassing on dangerous ground...and I didn't even mean to.

After checking with Jia to see what use he could have of me, I was finally allowed to go home. I could go back to Japan whenever I felt like it. And I've been wanting to leave for weeks now. So I booked a flight, packed my bags and without waiting for anything, I went back home to Japan. Fourteen hours later, I was back home. The jet lag wasn't too bad because I was getting use to never sleeping anyway and it as about ten at night when I got back to Japan. I took a cab back to my apartment, anxious to see Miya again. I opened the door, setting my bag down beside me as I took off my shoes. A moment later, Miya came out from the living room as he ran over to me and held me tight. I hugged him, putting my arms around him, feeling his back through his thin shirt as my other hand went to his hair, feeling the smoothness of it as I kissed his cheek, pulling his hair back from his pretty face as I kissed him. I missed him so much...and just feeling him close made me feel better. His slender hands coiled around on my shoulders as we then moved back. He smiled as he said,

"I missed you so much."

"I missed you too."

It was like being reunited with a lover. I smiled as I thought of that...wondering if that's what he is to me now...a lover. I smoothed his hair back as I said,

"How you been?

"Studying...missing you. The usual."

He smiled his pretty smile at me as I said,

"I've thought of you every second I was away from you."

He kissed me once more as he said,

"You got so poetic all the sudden."

I laughed as I held him close. He then looked up at me again as he said,

"Are you tired?"

"A little."

"You must be. Come on...go to bed."

"What about you?"

"I'm still studying. You should go to sleep."

I let him lead me to bed as I laid down after changing. He laid down beside me for a while holding my hand as he said,

"Is your arm okay?"

I nodded as he then crawled over to me and made me hold him. I had no problem doing that, kissing his cheek as I smoothed his hair back from his pretty face. He then said,

"You look different somehow."

"I do?"

"Uh huh....I can't think of what though. And how."

He kissed me, his full lips pressed against mine as he then sighed and said,

"I should let you sleep. I'll take advantage of you tomorrow when I get home from class."

I nodded as he got out of bed and went back to study as I went to sleep.

So I was home again. The next morning after getting showered and dressed, Miya came home. He only had one class that morning, so he was already dressed, fitted black pants on his slender legs, a white fitted shirt that buttoned down his slender frame with a black knitted duster on. It fell to his feet but didn't touch the floor since he was elevated with five inch platforms. I laughed when I saw his shoes.

"Miya, you're already tall."

"I wanna be taller."

He then threw his books down as he said,

"Come on, I'm taking you out for breakfast."

I sighed, going with him as we went to eat. He made me smile, remembering how we use to hang out when I was in school, how he made me feel so normal. I held his hand as we sat and had breakfast that morning. He didn't mind...he looked at me through the curtain of hair over his eye as I thought about he seemed different too. He seemed so grown, so...perfect. He reminded me of Aya and Tsubasa combined. The beauty of both of them, the grace and delicate demeanor of Tsubasa, the seduction with a simple twist of the hip and the simple touch that could set you aflame of Aya...all rolled into one. My tsuki, glowing just for me.

I was in love. I had yet to admit that to anyone, hardly myself but I knew it then but I didn't want to say anything. My greatest fear at the time was loving him and then loosing him since the chance was very much real and very much possible. But when all I could think about was him every second I wasn't beside him and all I could do was miss him when I was away every moment that ticked by...I knew I was in love. When my heart could sing and feel free and normal when I was around him...I knew it was a problem. He was my taboo...my one weakness. The very thing that could undo me. When we finished eating breakfast, we went for a walk to go shopping. I bought him some things, having the money just sitting in my pocket wasn't going to do me much good. So I just bought Miya whatever he wanted. He was reluctant at first to receive anything, but I told him it was mostly for him that I worked anyway. I held him close when I could, sweeping his hair back from his ear where I saw a small silver hoop. I tapped his earlobe as I said,

"What's this?"

He turned to me as he brought his hand up to it and said,

"Thought it would be a good idea."

I kissed his cheek as we went on our way. When he got back home later that day, we laid next to each other, him on his stomach, his arms bent beside him, his hair pushed back from his eyes as he looked at the window. I rubbed my hand on his back as I laid beside him, my head on the back of his shoulder as I started to think back to every single moment I was alone in New York, when all I could do was think of him. I kissed his ear as I said,

"Miya...?"

"Hm?"

"What are you thinking about?"

"You. I'm glad you're home. I thought of you all the time."

"Me too."

He turned towards me as I held him again. I was finally at peace.