I AM NO LONGER ME
I ABDICATE MY THRONE
EVACUATE THIS PEDESTAL
AND BEAR THE PAIN ALONE
STEP DOWN FROM MY POSITION
OF QUESTIONABLE NEED
STAND BACK TO WATCH WHAT GROWS
FROM MY INFERTILE SEED
SURRENDER ALL THAT'S DEAR
GIVE UP MY PEACE OF MIND
TURN MY BACK ON ALL I HAVE
AND LEAVE THE PAST BEHIND
I LEAVE A TRAIL OF SENSELESS TIME
DROWNING IN MY WAKE
A FLOOD OF TEARS AND BROKEN DREAMS
ARE ALL THAT'S LEFT TO TAKE
i dreamt of death
with arms outstretched
it called to me
with fetid breath
and draw me in
it did with glee
it's blazing eyes
did beckon me
no light of glory
angels' chorus
pearly gates
ope wide before
now darkness foul
and stench of burning
in grim morass
i'm twisting churning
you called oh Master
help me see
i've crossed the threshold
eagerly
into your fires
i've thrown my name
you beckoned me
and so i came
oh death be proud
to some- not i
i've crawled my way
deserve to die
the summons borne
on heinous knee
the day of beckoning
for me
Oh how I ache
with the loss of you
I had no chance
with nothing to
sustain me
but a fantasy
based on a glance
what will it take
what can I say
for this to be untrue
how can I make
this misery
I shouldn't feel
just go away
when all I want is you
you steal
the very part of me
that makes me live and breathe
so what remains
but bittersweet
and tears
a sense of unreality
the rest
reduced to dust
of soulless gray
encumbered still
by adoration's chains
all gone to rust
the paltry crumbs
that were once
the best of me
now lay forever numb
beneath
your
feet...
bittersweet.
I'm the calm before the storm
a sharp drop in pressure
like the eye of a hurricane
I am too low to measure
Nothing but a lull
or an intake of breath
a false sense of serenity
the dark card of death
I am the heartbeat skipped
and every agony prolonged
I am a circuit tripped
the wish for which you've longed
Mine is the blackest hour
that comes before a dawn
for you I live in sympathy
your shadow 'til your dust is gone
FRACTURED DREAMS
LATE INTO THE SMALLEST HOURS
WHEN SILENCE BREATHES
AND FEARS DEVOUR
FROM FURTIVE SHADOWS
DEMONS FLOW
LIKE CHANGELING MOTHS
TO A CANDLE'S GLOW
THEY PIERCE THE
FRACTURED VEIL OF SLEEP
TO RAPE THE DREAMS
A SOUL TO KEEP
RECEDING NOW
WITH DAWNING'S LIGHT
THEY WAIT BEYOND
FOR COMING NIGHT
I can feel it dark and ugly
welling up from deep within
I can see it taking shape in me
black and foul as sin
Like a monster waking from a sleep
miles down in the earth
I feel the horror grow in me
as imminent as birth
An overwhelming sense of fear
is poisoning my dreams
and lingers with me through the days
in a thick and fetid steam
I struggle upward to break free
grasping for some rope
but the dark miasma swallows me
along with any hope
I feel like I am shrinking
being eaten half alive
but without your light ot guide me
I can't possibly survive
THE LESS TO MOURN
ON ENDLESS LOSS
INSANITY BORNE
LOVE AND CHERISH
HOPES SOAR HIGH
DASHED TO EARTH
TO SUFFER, CRY
SHED ONE'S SKIN
AND LIVE TO DIE
SO PAIN AND LOSS
WILL PASS ON BY
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