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| "cigarettes should be called happy sticks, and cancer should be called 'whoopy daddies'..." |
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| I was originally going to use this section for rambling, but i decided to use this section to bring you interviews which I held with my millions of celebrity friends. Of course, i know you guys want me to interview my celebrity friends, such as Lou Bega, Leon Del Muerte, Denise Richards, Ru Paul, William Spielbergo, and Screech... but it ain't happening. You're stuck with whoever return my collect phone calls and accept not doing the interview with police presence. And so.. here it goes. P.S: I wrote this passage myself, and infront of nobody... dammit. |
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| Operator (Gwen Stefani): Will you accept a collect call from... Marcos Ramos: Mark A. Branch Marc Anthony: Of course I will accept a collect call from my best friend Mark A. Branch. O: Hold on while we connect your call... ~~~~~~~~~ Marcos: Hey, Mark Anthony, what's going on? Marc: I have no pants on. It's muy bueno Marcos: Yeah, It's.. um, great. I have no pants on either. How's the new album going? Marc: Well, in Argentina I caught the Clapp from a woman. Marcos: Not from a man? Wait, I asked you about your album... Marc: No, wait.. my new album is called 'Well, In Argentina I caught the Clapp from a woman.' Marcos: Oh, so you were on crack when making this album. How's rehab working for you? Marc: If by crack, you mean perico, and by rehab you mean the corner and my vomit bucket... i'm doing very well. Thank you for reminding me. *vomitting comences* Marcos: Are you still there? Marc: What's ever left. Oh great I just lost another twenty pounds. I look sexy. Marcos: You're also on crack, and plus your right eye is lazy... Marc: I need to know... I need to know... something.... now... getting sleepy... floor getting closer... laying on floor... snoring.... que es esto? por queeeeeee? Marcos: Marc Anthony?! Marc Anthony?! I'll be right there, don't you die on me! Not again! |
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| Marcos: So how is your love life? Marc: It's lovely... being in love. Infact i just wrote song about it. it's on my new CD "Mended"... Marcos: Oh, so it's not called 'Well, in Argentina I caught the Clapp from a woman'? Marc: ... I have no idea what you are talking about. Why are you yelling at me? Marcos: Well, I was under the impression that you had no pants on. I got dressed up for you too. Look, I unbuttoned my shirt to expose my hairy pectorals... Marc: Si... but, I always wear pants. Even in the shower... wait, are you going to use that portion of the interview on your super popular website? Marcos: Like, nooooooooo, extended no.... yeeeaaah Marc: Did you just say yeah? Marcos: I said your right eye is really freaking me out now... Marc: I have a lazy eye? Marcos: Of course you do. Everyone knows you have a lazy eye. Marc: I don't know how to respond to... Marcos: I have one last question... Are you gay? Marc: To set the record straight. I am n... *Marcos knocks out Marc Anthony* Marcos: Ha, I knew it! |
| five hours later, in front of the hospital... |
| An actual photo taken by Marcos Ramos when he arrvied at Marc Anthony's house after their phone interview... |
| Well what did we learn today? Marc Anthony has a new album coming out called 'Mended/Well, in Argentina I caught the Clapp from a woman', he has one lazy eye, and when I wear an unbutoned shirt I look damn good in it... he is infact a homosexual and he doesn't like it when people superglue signs to his hands when he is passed out... P.S: Marc Anthony, if by some freak chance you do read this.. i'm sorry. Don't sue. -Marcos A. Ramos. |
| ALL INTERVIEWS IN 'MARCOS SPEAKS' ARE PURELY FICTICIOUS... EXCEPT FOR THIS ONE... |
| Marcos and Marc outside of the hospital... |
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