FADE IN:
INT.
DINER - NIGHT/DAY?
We
open on TRACY, an average teenage girl with traces of white make up on her
face. Her bangs hang over her eyes annoyingly. She looks like she has just been
through a lot, and she has. She sits in a diner booth talking to an unseen
person. She is telling the person a story
TRACY
Have
you ever had one of those days?
(beat)
Let me
rephrase that. Have you ever had one of those days on the day that you thought
would be the most significant day of your life?
(beat)
I'm
sure you have. It happens to everyone at least once during one point of our
dreary little life on this planet. Something always goes wrong at the worst
possible. Life is strange like that
A
WAITRESS comes over to the booth and gives her a plate of Belgian waffles with
a scoop of vanilla ice cream on it
TRACY
(to
WAITRESS)
Thank
you
(to
unseen guest)
So
what I was saying was, don't ever expect anything to go right. Nothing ever
does. That’s the best advice I can give you
CUT TO:
TITLE
OVER BLACK:
'5-18-99'
FADE IN:
EXT.
HIGH SCHOOL - DAY
We
open on a very generic, square, small high school/junior high school
CUT TO:
INT.
HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY
Inside
the halls are empty until
The
bell rings...
Hundreds
of students pour out of their classrooms heading toward their lockers. We
follow a few students out of the closest classroom, particularly MARK
MARK
walks to his locker about a yard away from the classroom. He is frustrated
about something. It can be told by his anger toward his poor locker opening
skills. He struggles and finally gets it open with force. When the locker flies
open a flyer falls out and lands on the floor
MARK
What
the?
He
bends down to pick up the neon paper. He is just about to pick it up when a
pair of feet stands in his line of site. He stands up to see DEV
DEV
You
got one too?
MARK
looks at it
MARK
Yeah...
DEV
I
thought only cool people would get these
MARK
is not amused. He reads the flyer to himself
MARK
(reading
flyer)
Ultimate
STAR WARS EPISODE ONE pre party. Come one come all for food, movies and fun?
(to
DEV)
Who is
giving these out?
DEV
I
guess someone who requests us diehards at his or her party. I thought it was
special
A
voice from O.S
ANDREW
(O.S)
No
way. If it were special, then how'd Juan get one?
DEV
and MARK turn around and see ANDREW. He is holding a similar flyer
DEV
(shocked)
Juan
got one?
ANDREW
nods as a goofy looking kid with glasses walks by holding the same flyer,
different color
JUAN
(excited)
My
first party invitation! This is the best day of my life!
He is
not paying attention to where he is walking and he accidentally bumps into
massive jock and ego mega mix: BRYAN
JUAN
Sorry,
Sir
BRYAN
Out of
my way, Spaz
BRYAN
pushes JUAN into the lockers near MARK, DEV, and ANDREW
JUAN
(in
pain)
Never
did like him
He
slides down to the floor
BRYAN
keeps walking. He sees a small nerdy kid walking down the hallway. He makes a
spontaneous movement to scare the poor kid, and it works. He flies back and
throws his books in the air. He quickly collects them and runs away until he
runs and trips over the foot of KEITH
KEITH
Hey,
Brian! Something get away from you?
BRYAN
You
mean Mirk? Nah... Let him go. No time to worry about him
KEITH
walks away from the book wreck in front of MIRK as TRACY turns the corner being
followed attentively by MATT
TRACY
Thank
you for helping me with my Physics home work last night, Matt
MATT
No
problem, if you ever need a tutor or anything I would be more than willing to
help...
TRACY
stops notices BRYAN down the hall
TRACY
That's
all the help I need. Thank you
MATT
Oh...ok
MATT
walks to DEV, ANDREW, JUAN, and MARK. TRACY walks to BRYAN and KEITH
TRACY
Hey,
Brian
BRYAN
Hey,
Tracy. How are you?
TRACY
I'm
fine
KEITH
Hey,
babe! What's up?
KEITH
puts his arm around TRACY. MATT is watching and cringes at this sight
MATT
What does
he have that I don't have?
DEV
The
balls to ask her out?
MATT
Don't
give me that. It's not like I haven't tried
ANDREW
Offering
to tutor her in physics is not asking her out, chick magnet
MATT
Whatever....
SAM
walks over to the big group of guys surrounding MARK'S locker. She is holding a
similar invitation to what everyone else has
SAM
Has
anyone else gotten one of these?
DEV
(sighs)
All of
us have
MATT
takes an invitation out of his pocket
SAM
Any
clue on who's hosting it?
ANDREW
No
clue. Guess we'll have to find out
MARK
I'll
be back, guys
(closes
locker)
Going
for a walk
ANDREW
You
all right, man?
MARK
Yeah,
I'm fine. I need some air
MARK
walks O.S
DEV
What's
his problem?
ANDREW
Yeah,
he seems really bitchy today
DEV
(to
SAM)
You
notice that, Mrs. Mark?
SAM
(defensive)
I
don't know what you're talking about
BRYAN,
Keith and TRACY are still standing in the hall talking and laughing
TRACY
So I
got this invitation to this party for 'STAR WARS' and I just looked at it, and
the crumpled it up and threw it at Mirk. He looked like he was going to cry
They
all laugh
KEITH
That's
so funny
BRYAN
Listen,
we have to leave now. We are going to the movies tonight. You want to come?
TRACY
No,
that's ok. I have plans...
(beat)
What
movie theater are you going to?
BRYAN
The
Lynbrook. Where STAR WARS is playing. Figure it’ll be open late for that, and
there ain't going to be anyone going to see anything else...
TRACY
Shit!
KEITH
What's
wrong, Hun?
TRACY
Oh,
nothing. I'll see you guys later
BRYAN
Laters
KEITH
Bye,
babe!
They
walk away. Immediately TRACY reaches into her back pocket and pulls out the
same invitation that everyone has received. She walks to DEV and the others
DEV
The
exact words were "I crumpled it up and through it at Mirk"
TRACY
Go to
hell, Dev. You know I have to say shit like that to impress them
ANDREW
She
has to...
TRACY
Whatever.
Did anyone else get one of these?
DEV
You
know what? I'm getting the strangest sense of Déjà Vu
A
female voice is heard from O.S
STEPHANIE
(O.S)
Tracy,
I need to go!
TRACY
(to
STEPHANIE O.S)
Coming!
(to
guys)
I have
to take Stephanie home. I will meet you at Dev's. Later!
She
runs toward STEPHANIE. When she is beyond hearing distance...
DEV
Bitch
ANDREW
She
has changed so much this year
MATT
Hey,
shut up you guys!
DEV
Oh, I forgot.
Lover boy is still here
MATT
Don't
talk about Tracy like that!
ANDREW
Sorry,
Matt, but it's true
MATT
Can we
just drop it now! Let's go
DEV
Good
idea...
(to
Sam)
Sam,
go find your boy and tell him we are going to my place
SAM
Ok
MATT,
DEV, ANDREW, and JUAN walk O.S
CUT TO:
INT.
DEV'S HOUSE - DAY
DEV,
MARK, MATT, SAM, ANDREW, TRACY and JUAN are all sitting around a circular
table. They are all conversing until DEV speaks up
DEV
Ok,
settle down people
DEV
stands on his chair. He has a knack for public speaking. Everyone quiets down
DEV
Thank
you. First thing's first. Who here is going to that 'STAR WARS' party thing
tonight?
Everyone
raises his or her hands
DEV
(beat)
Well,
that is going to make things more difficult. As you know, our ritual for movie-going
consists of someone planning, someone getting tickets and someone getting
seats. But since the lovable George Lucas has allowed us to buy tickets for
'STAR WARS' a week ahead of time that eliminates that reason for going ahead of
time...
Everyone
begins to chat
DEV
I'm
not done!
He
waits for everyone to quiet down. He continues
DEV
As I
was saying, there is no need for someone to go to buy tickets but we still need
someone to go and get seats for us. I know for a fact that I am not going to
sit behind some little punk with a toy light saber in the back of the theater
because we didn't get good seats. So who is it going to be?
Everyone's
eyes wander. No one wants this job
DEV
This
is always the problem. ok then. I guess if no one is going to volunteer
DEV
reaches down and picks up a baseball cap with pieces of paper in it
DEV
Victimas?
JUAN
Dammit!
DEV
sticks his hand into the hat and shuffles the names around fairly. Everyone
around the table tenses up. He pulls a name out of the hat and reads it aloud
DEV
And
the victima es... Tracy!
TRACY'S
eyes widen as the sound of her name echoes through the room
CUT TO:
TITLE
OVER BLACK:
'No Hope'
INT.
TRACY'S HOUSE - DAY
TRACY
frantically searches through her toy chest for something
TRACY
Don’t
worry, Trace. There’s always the possibility that they won't be able to
recognize you with your Amidala make up on, right?... but I need to have my
Amidala make up first. Where the hell is it?
She
tosses things out of her toy chest into the wall of her heavily postered room.
Posters of boy bands and pop stars are hanging left and right. One poster is
knocked over by her rampant tossing and reveals that it was covering a 'STAR
WARS - A NEW HOPE' theatrical one-sheet movie poster. Her MOTHER walks into her
room and dodges a flying object
TRACY'S
MOTHER
What
is wrong, dear?
TRACY
I
can't find my god damned 'Amidala' make up kit
TRACY'S
MOTHER
What
do you want with that
TRACY
I need
it desperately
(beat;
stops looking)
What
did you do with it?
TRACY'S
MOTHER
(innocently)
Nothing
TRACY
What
did you do with it, mother dear?
TRACY'S
MOTHER
(giving
in)
I
thought you didn't want it -You looked so angry and unappreciative when I gave
it to you that day after school I figured you didn't want it...
TRACY
(angry)
Of
course I was unappreciative! You brought it to me after school when I was with
my friends. Would you ‘appreciate’ it if I came you your job and brought you a
Fabio poster in front of your friends?!
TRACY'S
MOTHER is taken back by this
TRACY'S
MOTHER
Well,
I never...
TRACY
When
did you throw it out?
TRACY'S
MOTHER
A few
days ago
TRACY
Shit!
TRACY'S
MOTHER is appalled at the language TRACY is using. She walks out angrily. TRACY
lies down on her bed disgruntled
TRACY
This
can't be happening!
(beat)
I have
to go to the toy store and get another one, that's all
(calming
down)
Yeah,
no need to worry
TRACY
grabs her purse and begins to search through it. She empties it on the bed
A
knock at the door
TRACY
ignores the knock, stops and thinks to herself
TRACY
How am
I going to pay for it?
Another
knock at the door
TRACY
I
don't care how. If they see me there going to see STAR WARS...
(terrified)
They
can't see me there. I will be ruined
Knocking
becomes violent
TRACY
(to
door O.S)
What?!
ERIC
(O.S)
(muffled)
You
shouldn't do that to mom
TRACY
grumbles and gets up. She walks to the door and opens it. Outside in the
hallway is her younger brother ERIC. He is about thirteen, he appears innocent
ERIC
You
should go apologize to mom for using such language in the house
TRACY
rolls her eyes
ERIC
(innocently)
Using
such language is bad for me. It taints me, makes me evil. It makes me a worse
person. Tracy, you don't want me to be bad person do you?
TRACY
Oh,
cut the bullshit, Eric
ERIC
(smiles)
Oh
really?
He
takes a deep breath, and gets ready to shout, but TRACY grabs his mouth
TRACY
I'm
sorry
(beat;
thinking)
You
wouldn't happen to have a few dollars on you, would ya'?
ERIC
(muffled)
Why?
TRACY
Never
mind why. I just need a few dollars. You got?
She
releases her hand form his mouth
ERIC
What,
is there some new fashion trend or new popular boy band? You poser!
TRACY
grows irate and grabs ERIC by the collar
TRACY
(angry)
Listen
to me you little turd. You don't know high school, nonetheless social ranking.
You don't know the pressures to fit in. So don't judge me! I promise you that
when you get into high school I will help you fit into your desired social
ranking, but I can only do that if I was popular before you, and I can't do
that if you don't give me the money I want from you. Got it?
ERIC
swallows. He reaches into his pocket and hands TRACY a ten. She lets go of
ERIC'S collar and walks into her room. She grabs her purse and car keys
ERIC
Where
you goin'?
TRACY
The
only toy store that'll have what I’m looking for
She
walks out of her room and down the hallway into the living room. ERIC follows
ERIC
(excited)
Ooh,
I'm going! I need to get one of those double-edged darth maul light sabers for
tonight!
TRACY
stops
TRACY
(confused)
Wha...What's
tonight?
ERIC
(rolling
eyes)
It's
only the most highly anticipated movie ever, Tracy. And I know you are going,
so don't play dumb with me. Mom was only able to get one ticket to the midnight
show, the show you are going to. Guess who's taking me...
He
laughs deviously
TRACY
You
gotta be kidding me!
She
walks out the front door frustrated
EXT.
TRACY'S DRIVEWAY - DAY
TRACY
storms out of the side door of her house. She walks to her car parked in the
driveway. ERIC follows close with his hands behind his back acting innocent
ERIC
I kid
you not. Mom thinks that we should start spending more time together, like in
the old days
TRACY
(half
paying attention)
What
old days?
ERIC
Exactly!
She says that it's a bad influence on me that you only want to be with your
friends. It will make me hate my family too
TRACY
opens the driver side door
TRACY
One, I
don't hate my family. I hate you.
Two, when we get to the theater, I don't know you. Now, Get in, and shut up!
INT.
TRACY'S CAR - DAY
TRACY
gets into the drivers seat of her car followed by ERIC who sits shotgun. TRACY
gives ERIC a evil look, which he notices after a beat. He gets out quickly and
gets into the back of the car. She starts the car and pulls out of the
driveway. ERIC begins going through the collection of CDs in the divider
between the driver seat and the passenger seat. He picks up about five
ERIC
(examining
CD)
Nope...
(next
CD)
Nope...
(next
CD)
Hell
no...
(beat;
examines closer)
Wait a
sec. Britney Spears? You don't like Britney Spears! You despise her
(flips
through CDs fast)
Backstreet
Boys? 'N Sync? Lou Bega?!
He
places the CDs back in the divider
ERIC
You
hate all these bands, groups, and hacks!
TRACY
Well,
people change!
ERIC
(beat)
Sell
out
TRACY
sighs as she makes the turn into the Toy Store's Parking lot. She parks and
sits in silence for a moment
TRACY
We cannot
spend a lot of time in here today. I need to be in and out, understood?
ERIC
Understood
TRACY
Ok,
you stay near me. I know how you like to stray to the action figure section...
ERIC
I said
"Understood"!
TRACY
Fine,
let's go
They
exit the car
INT.
TOY STORE PARKING LOT - DAY
She
turns the alarm on for the car on and walks away. As they reach the entrance to
the toy store and TRACY'S beeper goes off. It plays the STAR WARS theme. ERIC
grabs the beeper from her pocket before she can
ERIC
(reading)
212...?
TRACY
Give
it to me!
She
successfully retrieves her beeper back from ERIC. She reads it
ERIC
Who is
it from?
TRACY
(Frustrated)
No
one, don't worry about it
ERIC
Whatever
ERIC
walks into the building. TRACY places the beeper back into her pocket and walks
to pay phone beside the toy store. She picks up the phone and places the
receiver to her ear, but doesn't notice a big wad of gum on it
TRACY
What
the hell?
She
removes the receiver from her ear but the gum has stuck to her ear. It
stretches out from her ear to the receiver
TRACY
Savages!
She
tries desperately to remove the gum from her ear but it gets tangled in her
hands
CUT TO:
INT.
TOY STORE - DAY
TRACK
drudges into the toy store plucking pieces of gum from her ear with a torn up
tissue. She bumps into a teenager EMPLOYEE
TRACY
Sorry
EMPLOYEE
It's
ok
The
EMPLOYEE begins to walk away. TRACY grabs his arm
TRACY
Wait!
EMPLOYEE
Yes?
TRACY
You
don't happen to have a bathroom here do you?
EMPLOYEE
Not a
functioning one...
TRACY
(sighs)
Shit!
EMPLOYEE
I can
still give you the key if you want
TRACY
gives the EMPLOYEE a confused look
TRACY
Where
is your STAR WARS stuff?
EMPLOYEE
(pointing)
There
is a big display over by the video games, and a whole aisle devoted to it
TRACY
(beat)
Well?
EMPLOYEE
What?
TRACY
The aisle?
EMPLOYEE
Oh,
sorry. 7b
TRACY
Thank
you
She
walks away shaking her head in disgust. She walks up and around the store and
sees ERIC fooling around with some toys, acting like a thirteen year old. She
walks to and through the designated STAR WARS aisle but cannot find the make up
kit. She walks out of the else as a SECOND EMPLOYEE walks by. This one is less
dazed as the first
TRACY
Hey,
excuse me!
SECOND
EMPLOYEE
Yes,
how may I help you?
TRACY
I'm
looking for STAR WARS Episode One make up kits. Particularly the Queen Amidala
one...
SECOND
EMPLOYEE
Oh, We
are sold out of those for now
TRACY
For
now?
SECOND
EMPLOYEE
Yes,
for now! We actually sold the last one about an hour ago
TRACY
This
is a joke right?
SECOND
EMPLOYEE
Unfortunately
not. But we should be getting a new shipment of them sometime next month
TRACY
Shit!
She
whips around quickly and knocks a LITTLE BOY on to his rear end. TRACY grabs
her mouth as the LITTLE BOY begins to tear. The BOY'S MOTHER runs to the aid of
her child occasionally glancing up at TRACY giving her a dirty look
TRACY
Oh, my
God! I am so sorry
The
LITTLE BOY puts his tearing eyes on the shoulder of his mother. ERIC walks up
behind TRACY
ERIC
What'd
you do now?
ERIC'S
voice startles TRACY
TRACY
Oh,
shit!
The
LITTLE BOY begins to cry and scream louder. She grabs her mouth again
BOY'S
MOTHER
Leave!
You've done enough damage here!
TRACY
But,
but...
The
SECOND EMPLOYEE taps her on the shoulder
SECOND
EMPLOYEE
I
think you should take her advice
TRACY
I
didn't mean to...
SECOND
EMPLOYEE
Take
your friend here...
(points
to ERIC)
and
leave the store
ERIC
Friend?!
CUT TO:
EXT.
TOY STORE PARKING LOT - DAY
TRACY
storms out of the toy store followed by a confused, bitter and angry ERIC
ERIC
What
the hell was that?
TRACY
Shut
up!
ERIC
No!
Because of you I didn't get my light saber
TRACY
Who
cares about your stupid piece of plastic anyway?
ERIC
I do!
TRACY
It'll
probably break in a day anyway!
ERIC
And
I'm sure what you wanted was so worth while...
TRACY
(beat)
Listen,
I don't care what you say, or what you think. I am having a really bad day and
you aren't exactly helping. So now we are going to go home and you are going to
shut up!
ERIC
complies. He gets into the back seat as TRACY climbs into the driver side
INT.
TRACY'S CAR - DAY
There
is a brief silence inside of the car
TRACY
You
speak a word of what happened in this store to mom and I will use your face as
a dartboard for a week. Agreed?
ERIC
(reluctant)
Agreed
TRACY
starts the car and drives out of the parking lot
CUT TO:
INT.
TRACY'S HOUSE - DAY
TRACY
storms into the house. She attempts to toss her keys onto the kitchen table but
misses and they land in the fish tank beside it. She walks to her room and
slams the door. She collapses on her bed and closes her eyes
CUT TO BLACK
FADE IN:
INT.
TRACY'S HOUSE - NIGHT
TRACY
opens her eyes and it is now night outside. She sits up slowly and looks around
then at her alarm clock
TRACY
(reading
clock)
Four
fourteen PM?
She
looks out the window and is confused. She looks around the dresser beside her bed
for a watch and finds one. It reads '9:44PM'
TRACY
Oh,
God!
She
hops out of bed and runs out of her room to the dining room. She stops half way
TRACY
Popularity
first, keys second!
She
runs back through the house to her mother's room
INT.
TRACY'S MOTHER'S ROOM - NIGHT
She
runs to the dresser in the extremely neat room. She knocks things over and
searches through every drawer. She stumbles upon a package of Halloween clown
make up
TRACY
Please
be white!
She
opens the package and grabs the white container of make up
TRACY
Perfect!
She
grabs a red and black make up pencil from on top of the dresser and runs out
INT.
TRACY'S HOUSE - NIGHT
She
runs through the house to a slightly closed door with a light on. TRACY bursts
into the bathroom O.S. We hear the toilet flush and ERIC flies out of the
bathroom from O.S with only his underwear on
A beat
His
pants come flying out of the bathroom onto his head
CUT TO:
INT.
TRACY'S BATHROOM - NIGHT
TRACY
lays out all of her make up onto the counter beside the sink. She opens the
clown make up and smears it on her face. A wave of calm falls over her. She
seems less aggravated
CUT TO:
INT.
TRACY'S HOUSE - NIGHT
She
walks out of the bathroom as her mother walks into the house with groceries
TRACY'S
MOTHER
Hello,
dear
TRACY
walks to the table and begins looking for her keys
TRACY'S
MOTHER
I see
you found a make up kit. I went to the toy store to get you one but they were
sold out
TRACY
Yeah,
mom. I got the last one
(beat)
Mom,
did you touch my car keys?
TRACY'S
MOTHER
No
TRACY
So
then where are...
She
cuts herself off when she sees the keys in the fish tank
TRACY
That
little turd
She
walks to the fish tank and reaches in to try to get the keys. She cannot reach
it
TRACY
I'm
going to kill him
TRACY'S
MOTHER
What's
wrong, Trace?
TRACY
That
little snot that you call a son put my keys in the fish tank
TRACY'S
MOTHER
Why
did he do that?
TRACY
I
don't know. Maybe because he's a jackass!
TRACY'S
MOTHER
Watch
your mouth!
She
grabs a mini skimmer and fishes her keys out
TRACY
It's
true, Mom. he has done nothing but bother me all day!
ERIC
walks out into the dining room. TRACY lunges at him and grabs his shirt
TRACY
What
you did was wrong... I may not be able to unlock my car, you loser!
ERIC
(confused)
What
did I do?
TRACY'S
MOTHER
Let
him go!
TRACY
I hope
you're happy!
ERIC
What
the hell-
TRACY'S
MOTHER
Language!
ERIC
(correcting
himself)
heck,
what the heck did I do?
TRACY
lifts her keys and shakes the fish tank water onto ERIC'S forehead. He at both
of them
ERIC
(beat;
pointing)
I
didn't do that
TRACY
Don't
try to weasel out of this one!
ERIC
I'm
serious. I didn't!
TRACY
I
doesn't matter what you say. Even If I manage to get past the alarm, and start
my car I'm still not taking you with me!
ERIC
But,
but...!
He
looks at his mother
ERIC
(sobbing)
But,
Mom!
TRACY'S
MOTHER
Don't
you think that is a bit harsh?
ERIC
(crying)
Yeah,
harsh!
TRACY
No, he
deserves it!
ERIC
(crying
hysterically)
But I
want to see STAR WARS on the first day...
TRACY'S
MOTHER looks at her
TRACY
No,
Mom
ERIC'S
tears run down his cheek into his mouth. He begins to gargle his own tears and
saliva
ERIC
(unintelligible)
I want
to see movie, mommy!
CUT TO:
INT.
TRACY'S CAR - NIGHT
TRACY
drives the car with a angry expression on her face, ERIC sits in the backseat
with a smile from ear to ear. TRACY glances at the time on the radio in the car
and it reads '10:45PM'
TRACY
Dammit!
She
speeds up on the road. They finally arrive at the theater and park in the
parking lot
INT.
MOVIE THEATER PARKING LOT - NIGHT
TRACY
steps out of her car and stops to wait for ERIC who is taking his time. He
skips away from the car with a big smile. TRACY rolls her eyes and presses the
button to lock the car on her key chain and the trunk opens
TRACY
does a double take and notices the trunk open. She checks her hand, and the
button she pressed was the 'LOCK' button
TRACY
Perfect!
She
walks back to the car and closes the trunk. She steps back and presses the
button again and this time the hood opens. She buries her face in her hands
TRACY
What
did I do to deserve this?
ERIC
(O.S)
You
screwed with me!
TRACY
I will
kick your ass, spaz!
She
walks to the hood and slams it. She presses the button and this time nothing
happens. She walks back to the hood and checks it. She presses the button over
and over again
A beat
The
hood flies open and nails TRACY in the face. She flies into the bushes behind
her. ERIC falls to the floor in hysterics. TRACY stands up and rubs her face
and gets white make up on her hand. Her lip is bleeding a bit. She closes the
hood of the car. She sees a marking from the impact in white make up on the
hood
TRACY
Eric?
ERIC
Yes?
TRACY
How
does my make up look?
ERIC
walks closer to her and looks. He falls to the floor in hysterics once again
TRACY
Why
me?
She
begins to walk away
ERIC
(hysterical)
Don't
forget to lock the door
TRACY
Funny
She
presses the button with out looking and the verification noise is heard. She
eyes dim and she walks off screen. ERIC follows
INT.
INFRONT OF THEATER - NIGHT
When
they turn the corner out of the parking lot they stand behind a fairly long
line to the entrance of the theater. The line continues to grow longer by the
minute. People begin to point and snicker at TRACY'S face unbeknownst to her
ERIC
(comforting)
Well,
we made it. And the line isn't that long
(beat)
Who is
coming tonight?
TRACY
(mumbles)
The
usual
ERIC
Would
that be the usual friends or the
usual group of cool kids?
TRACY
What
was that? You want me to smack you?
ERIC
(confused)
What?
TRACY
smacks ERIC across the face sending him falling to the cement below. A smile
grows on her face. TRACY turns to the window of the restaurant and sees her
reflection
TRACY
Ugh!
(to
ERIC on floor)
Wait
here. Save my spot
ERIC
(in
pain)
Sure
thing
She
runs embarrassed into the restaurant
INT.
ITALIAN RESTAURTANT - NIGHT
TRACY
walks into the building and walks to the bar. No one is seated at the bar only
a BARTENDER who is cleaning shot glasses. TRACY walks over and attempts to hide
her face from the BARTENDER
BARTENDER
How
may I help you?
TRACY
Where
is your bathroom?
BARTENDER
You
are going to have to speak up. I couldn't hear a word you said
TRACY
Where
is your bathroom?
BARTENDER
What's
wrong?
TRACY
is fed up. She turns to the BARTENDER
TRACY
Where
is the bathroom!?!
BARTENDER
(in
terror)
OH MY
GOD!
He
hides his eyes in horror and points O.S
TRACY
Thank
you
CUT TO:
INT.
MOVIE THEATER PARKING LOT - NIGHT
A car
pulls into the parking lot. It parks and out comes BRYAN, KEITH, and STEPHANIE.
As they walk from the car to the theater KEITH notices TRACY'S car
KEITH
Hey! Ain't
that Trace's car?
BRYAN
Yeah
(examines
it)
Looks
like it
KEITH
I
thought she wasn't coming tonight
BRYAN
Guess
I heard her wrong
CUT TO:
INT.
RESTAURANT BATHROOM - NIGHT
TRACY
opens the door to a dimly lit confined room with one toilet and a sink. She
looks at herself in the mirror and shudders. She turns the knobs of the sink
but no water comes out. She gives up and grabs a piece of toilet paper, licks
it and begins to clean her lip and nose
TRACY
(to
herself)
This
is the day you've have been waiting for
(beat)
Why
are you being so stupid?
(checks
watch)
Only
one more hour and then you will be
seeing STAR WARS: EPISODE ONE - THE PHANTOM MENACE with your friends
(beat)
STAR
WARS will be great, because as you always say...
She
throws the used toilet paper into the toilet and grabs another piece.
TRACY
(CONT'D)
"One
good thing always comes out of the worst day"
(beat)
I
never realized how gay that sounded...
She
throws the second piece of toilet paper into the toilet and attempts to turn
the faucet on again, but it still isn't working
TRACY
God
damnit!
She
quickly exits out of the bathroom
INT.
ITALIAN RESTAURTANT - NIGHT
She
walks out and toward the bar again. She sees the BARTENDER in the distance
TRACY
(to
BARTENDER)
Hey!
Your water isn't working...
She
walks into a BUS BOY carrying a tray of soda and water in glasses. They all
fall onto her. TRACY shrieks
BUS
BOY
I'm so
sorry, Lady!
He
grabs a napkin and begins to wipe her face. TRACY snatches the napkin and
pushes the BUS BOY away
A beat
TRACY
sighs
TRACY
I'm
sorry
The
BUS BOY gets up and walks back to TRACY
BUS
BOY
It's
alright. Are you ok?
TRACY
(sobbing)
No I'm
not ok. I'm having the worst day of my life on the day that's supposed to be
the best
(beat)
Has
that ever happened to you?
BUS
BOY
No,
I'm sorry, Lady. But...
He
knocks on the wood floor
BUS
BOY
For
luck, eh'?
(beat)
I'm
sorry that you are having a bad day
TRACY
It's
not your fault
(wipes
her eyes)
I have
to go. The movie is starting soon
BUS
BOY
Going
to see STAR WARS?
TRACY
No!
(beat)
Yes...
I'm a big fan
BUS
BOY
You
look like one. Especially with the make up
TRACY
You
can tell? I thought I did a pretty shitty job with the make up...
BUS
BOY
Nah,
It's nice. Honest
TRACY
I
don't know why I did it. I try to hide it
BUS
BOY
Why
hide it?
TRACY
Because
STAR WARS isn't exactly the coolest thing to be in love with. You have to be
into Back street Boys, or 'N Sync, or gap clothing or going clubbing or
cheerleading or track... You know the pressures that exist in high school. It's
hard to have "different" hobbies this day and age
BUS
BOY
I know
what you mean
TRACY
Really,
how?
BUS
BOY
I'm
the only one in this place who works in this place who liked Speed 2...
TRACY
gives him a disturbed look
BUS
BOY
Don't
worry, I'm used to it. Anyway, I won't hold you back. Feel better
TRACY
Thank
you
TRACY
puts her napkin down on the floor and walks to the door. She tried to push the
door out, but it won't open. She gives it a really hard push and goes flying
out of the door
INT.
INFRONT OF THEATER - NIGHT
The
people inside and out side of the restaurant have a good laugh over the door
incident
TRACY
Laugh
it up, assholes!
ERIC
Took
ya' long enough
TRACY
growls at ERIC and he whimpers. It begins to drizzle out side. The remainder of
TRACY'S make up fades immediately
TRACY
God
damnit!
ERIC
puts a hood on
TRACY
Why
me? Why today?
ERIC
(pointing
O.S)
Oh,
dude! My friend Frank has a good spot up front. I'll heed your advice
(to
TRACY)
See
ya'!
He
runs O.S.
TRACY
looks blankly into the sky as clouds form
TRACY
Why,
God? Why today?
She
reaches into her pocket and grabs her STAR WARS - EPISODE ONE: THE PHANTOM
MENACE ticket. She stares at it
TRACY
This
day meant so much to me!
(beat;
off sky)
I did
great on my SAT'S, I have been accepted by the college I want to go to. I'm a
fairly good Samaritan. All I want to do is to sit down and enjoy the first
showing of STAR WARS - EPISODE ONE: THE PHANTOM MENACE
(beat;
to sky)
IS
THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR!?!
BRYAN'S
VOICE is heard O.S
BRYAN
(O.S)
Hey,
Trace! What are you screaming about?
TRACY'S
eyes dim
TRACY
(to
sky)
Fuck
you too!
BYRAN,
KEITH, and STEPHANIER walk from in
front of her and surround her
BRYAN
What
was all the yelling about?
TRACY
I...
Uh...saw a friend down the street!
BRYAN
Oh
KEITH
What
are you doing here, Babe?
TRACY
I'm
going to the movies
A beat
BRYAN
Look
at all these losers here to see STAR WARS. It's so pathetic
KEITH
What a
bunch of dorks
KEITH
puts his arm around TRACY
KEITH
Don't
you agree?
TRACY
Yeah...
What a bunch of Asses
STEPHANIE
hands TRACY an umbrella, but TRACY does not accept it
STEPHANIE
What's
wrong?
TRACY
I'm
just having a bad day, a little rain won't make a big impact on me
STEPHANIE
Well,
I hope this cheers you up...
STEPHANIE
looks at KEITH and BRYAN
STEPHANIE
(smiles)
...We
have decided that you can come in our limo to the prom
BRYAN
Yeah.
You are a cool girl. much cooler than most of the rejects at our school
TRACY
Thank
you...
BRYAN
pushes a young kid out of the way to get in line
BRYAN
So
what movie you going to see?
TRACY
Um...
She
tries to see the movie listing on the overhead of the building but cannot see
it
TRACY
(CONT'D)
Um...
The Mummy?
KEITH
The
Mummy isn't playing here
TRACY
(correcting
herself)
You
didn't let me finish, Keith my dear. I was going to say that The Mummy isn't
playing here so I'm going to see... Entrapment?
KEITH
Sweet!
That's what we are going to see!
TRACY
(sarcastically)
Oh
perfect!
TRACY
flails her arms into the air and her STAR WARS ticket flies out of her hand and
lands on the floor. BRYAN picks it up
BRYAN
(confused)
What's
with the spaz tick?
TRACY
Oh,
wow. You want to hear something funny? It's hysterical I promise
(takes
breath)
My
brother was pissing me off so I decided that in order to get him back I would
take his STAR WARS ticket
They
stare blankly at her
TRACY
I was
just about to tear it up before you guys got here
STEPHANIE
That
is funny
TRACY
Isn't
it?
They
all chuckle a bit
BRYAN
(beat)
So
what are you waiting for?
TRACY'S
eyes widen in sheer terror. She looks behind her at the front of the line where
the MANAGER stands calling out
MANAGER
We are
now letting in for the 12 AM showing of THE PHANTOM MENACE!
TRACY
looks down at her ticket and then at BRYAN
KEITH
Well?
She
reads the fine print of the ticket that reads "Non Redeemable if
torn"
TRACY
bites her lip and slowly tears the ticket. She then tears it into smaller
pieces
BRYAN
Bitchin'
KEITH
pokes TRACY'S stomach
KEITH
Cool
beans, Babe. We'll see you inside
TRACY
(broken)
Yeah...
They
walk O.S. TRACY'S hands begin to tremble as the lines grows smaller and smaller
TRACY
What
have I done?
Her
watch beeps and it reads 11:30PM. She falls to her knees crying as we
FADE TO BLACK
CUT TO:
INT.
DEV'S HOUSE - DAY
We are
back at the turning point of our story. We are mere seconds after DEV assigned
the line job to TRACY. TRACY is now laying the side of her face to the cold
glass table staring at the collection of STAR WARS merchandise on the wall. The
others chat in the background about silly things. TRACY'S eyes widen when she
focuses on the poster of Natalie Portman as Queen Amidala on the wall
TRACY
(excited)
Gotta
run guys!
(gets
up)
Got
stuff to do before tonight
MARK
Join
the club
TRACY
See
you guys tonight. Bye!
She
runs to the door
DEV
(to
TRACY O.S)
Don't
forget your job!
She
exits
ANDREW
Ok,
guys. You ready to go?
JUAN
Yeah!
Road trip!
MATT
Juan,
calm down
SAM
Where
are you guys headed?
ANDREW
The
city. We are going to F.A.O. Schwartz. We want to check out their Ep. one
figure selection
JUAN
I need
a 'Ki Adi Mundi'! He's all I need for the complete set!
ANDREW
I told
him I'd give him my 'Ki' for his Mace Windu, but he declined.
JUAN
Of
course, Man. Why would make a trade like that?
DEV
He
practically sleeps with his 'Mace'-
ANDREW
Practically?
DEV
Ok,
fine. He sleeps with his 'Mace'. That's how over protective he is of it
MATT
I'm
sure she's mighty interested in the matters regarding your extremely pathetic
painted plastic fetishes but I'm not and I want to get there and back in time.
So let's go
ANDREW
Painted
plastic fetish?
MARK
The
party is at 6. It's on carstairs road. Don't be late
DEV
Don't
worry about us. We will make it back on time
CUT TO BLACK
TITLE
OVER BLACK:
'DARWIN STRIKES BACK'
CUT TO:
INT.
RESTOOM HALLWAY - DAY
MATT
leans up against the wall beside a hanging pay phone. He hears a 'beep' through
the receiver. He steps in to read the pay phones call number and he punches it
in and ends it with pound. He hangs up the phone and leans back against the
wall and sighs
CUT TO:
INT.
CITY RESTAURANT - DAY
DEV,
JUAN, and ANDREW sit a round table in a hamburger restaurant in the city. There
is an empty fourth seat at the table. DEV and ANDREW are deep in conversation.
Juan is reading the back of an action figure box
DEV
How
could he do that? It's just common sense not to reveal one of the most
intricate secrets to such a highly anticipated movie on the back of the
soundtrack
ANDREW
I
guess he didn't realize. We all make mistakes
DEV
Saying
"Qui-Gon's funeral" couldn't have been a mistake. He meant to do it.
It's the 'why' that's bothering me
ANDREW
So
what? I figured that it was the case when I saw the coming attraction. When
Ewan McGregor screams "No!" at the end of the trailer I figured it
was someone's death.
DEV
It's
just really bothering me. It's like naming track seventeen "Billy and Stu
are the killers" on the 'Scream' soundtrack
MATT
walks in from O.S. frustrated
ANDREW
What
are your views on the whole secret revealing soundtrack to the Phantom Menace?
MATT
(upset)
Who
cares?
DEV
Someone's
a little whore
JUAN
Why
didn't they make a Yoda figure yet?
DEV
Matt?
MATT
Huh?
(confused;
beat)
Oh,
who cares?
DEV
There
we go. See you're good for something
JUAN
I
guess you're right. Who cares? As long as I got my Ki Adi Mundi action figure
that's all that matters
ANDREW
Yeah.
And you only paid thirty bucks for it
JUAN
Actually
it was forty-five. It was a bargain!
DEV
Forty-five
dollars? That's insane!
JUAN
It's
the principal, Devon!
DEV
Ok,
Juan. If you are such an expert on principal, explain the principal of spending
forty-five bucks on something that only cost about forty-five cents to produce!
JUAN
It's
all about saving them, not opening them and then selling them in the future for
a high price. I'll make my money back, Dev
MATT
Actually...
It's pretty well known that the only reason certain toys are worth so much money
are because no had the frame of mind to think that these toys would be worth
anything in the future. But I heard that since everyone has the right mind to
collect and save the toys nowadays unlike before that these toys won't be worth
shit
(beat)
So to
speak
JUAN
WHAT!?!
DEV
Makes
sense
MATT
What'd
you buy, Dev?
DEV
Nothing.
I saved my money for emergencies. You never know. I always have spare money for
gas
(beat)
Speaking
of gas. Does anyone know if we have enough gas in the car. I sometimes neglect
to check.
JUAN
Yeah,
we do. I checked
DEV
Good
ANDREW
What's
that flat toy in your bag?
JUAN
Oh,
It's not fao, but I got this
(holds
up make up kit)
It's
the Queen Amidala make up kit. I picked it up today during our lunch break back
in town
ANDREW
Did
you forget you have a penis?
JUAN
Oh, I
know I do. Or at least I think so, but whatever. Natalie Portman is hot. And
she lives a few towns over!
DEV
I
can't believe they want us to believe that she will get it on with that little
kid
ANDREW
And
they spawn Luke and that rat face Leia
MATT
(chokes)
You're
joking right?
ANDREW
About
what?
MATT
About
what you said about Leia
ANDREW
What?
That she's a rat face? Why would I kid? She's hideous
DEV
Dude,
Leia is hot. End of story
ANDREW
Not
end of story! She looks like some kind of weird toad type thing. How could you
like her?
DEV
You
have no idea what you are talking about
ANDREW
I know
what I'm talking about. Even Juan with a wig...
JUAN
And
breasts!
ANDREW
(CONT'D)
...would
look better than she did in all three movies!
MATT
Even
in 'Return'?
ANDREW
(shudders)
Even
in 'Return'... she was so old by then, the thought of her in such a scantily
clad outfit makes me want to vomit
DEV
What
are you? A moron?
JUAN
Do you
think that if Leia never knew that Luke was his brother that they would've
gotten it on?
They
all stare at him
DEV
I
forgot. One moron per group
MATT
Well,
I still think that Leia is hot
ANDREW
Well,
I still have my opinion
JUAN
Well,
I think that if Luke and Leia had a kid it would look like this...
JUAN
puts full slices of bread in his mouth and lets pieces stick out. He also
sticks olives in his nose and begins to groan
JUAN
Mahhh,
The force is with me... MAHHHH! Why don't you love me!?!
There
is complete silence in the restaurant. Everyone is staring at this
JUAN
(confused)
What?
MATT
Check
please!
CUT TO:
EXT.
CITY STREET - DAY
DEV,
MATT, and ANDREW walk out of the restaurant onto a rather unlively street. JUAN
follows quickly behind
JUAN
Hey,
Guys. Wait up!
They
keep walking
DEV
I
forgot to ask. Did you get, Tracy?
MATT
Nope.
She never called back
DEV
That
blows
MATT
Yeah
They
walk past a small bootlegged movie establishment owned by a bum. A large tacky
sign above the BUM reads "STAR WARS - EPISODE ONE: THE PHANTOM MENACE
BOOTLEG HERE". JUAN stops following and drops his bags. The others keep
moving
DEV
Why
did you want to call her anyway?
MATT
No
reason in particular...
DEV
That's...weird
MATT
Haven't
you ever wanted to just call a girl, just to talk to her, just to hear her
voice?
DEV
Nope.
Maybe that's why I can't maintain a relationship for longer than a week!
They
reach their car beside a parking meter on the street. DEV takes a flyer off his
windshield and crumples it up and tosses it on the street. JUAN comes running
JUAN
Guys,
guys, guys! Guess what!
(pointing
O.S)
Guess
what they're selling over there!
DEV
Well,
it wouldn't be a brain. You wouldn't get excited over that!
JUAN
Give
up?
DEV
Yes!
JUAN
They
are selling the movie!
A beat
DEV
Just a
little bit vague
MATT
What's
"The Movie"?
JUAN
The movie! The movie!
ANDREW
Still
not helping
JUAN
The
movie that will make us the most popular kids at the party!
DEV
Just
tell us!
JUAN
Ok!
Brace yourselves! They are selling "STAR WARS - EPISODE ONE: THE PHANTOM
MENACE" over there!
They
stare at him for a beat then go back to getting back into the car
JUAN
Come
on, Guys! Let's go see!
JUAN
grabs DEV and drags him to the bootlegger. ANDREW and MATT stay by the car
MATT
Would
it be so bad if we left him here?
ANDREW
He has
our ride home
MATT
groans and walks reluctantly to the bootlegging establishment followed by
ANDREW. The arrive and DEV is lighting a cigarette and JUAN is already looking
at the box
ANDREW
This
better be good!
JUAN
(to
BUM)
How
did you get this?
BUM
I
cannot answer that question...
MATT
steps forward
MATT
Excuse
me, Mr...
BUM
Mamo.
Just Mamo. One word, like Cher
MATT
That's
great, Mamo. Listen closely. My naive friend here has dragged us here
reluctantly because he claims you told him that you have a bootleg copy of STAR
WARS - EPISODE ONE. Is that correct?
MAMO
Incorrect
MATT
Incorrect?
MAMO
I
never told him I had it
DEV
(clears
throat)
The
sign above explains it all, Matty
MATT
(looks
up)
Oh...
well
DEV
pushes him out of the way
DEV
(pointing
to JUAN)
Just
answer my friends question...
MAMO
Fine...
I am...um...personal friends with... um...you know!
JUAN
George
Lucas?
MAMO
Yeah...
that's her!
JUAN
That
rules!
JUAN
hands the box to DEV
JUAN
Here,
check this out
The
box has the original PHANTOM MENACE poster art for a cover. DEV turns the box
around and sees madness. ANDREW takes it and reads it
ANDREW
(reading)
"STAR
WARS is back, and better than ever in 'STAR WARS - EPISODE ONE: THE FANTOM
MENAS'
DEV
(hysterical)
What!?!
JUAN
walks O.S
ANDREW
(CONT'D)
(reading)
Join
Luke? Leia? Han Solo? Chewy and Darth Vader?
MATT
(smiles)
This
is great
ANDREW
(CONT'D)
(reading)
As
they travel back in time to race pods against Jabba the hut?
DEV
This
has to be the funniest thing I have ever seen
ANDREW
(CONT'D)
(reading)
And
Yoda is back to...
(laughs)
To
kick some robot ninja ass!
MATT
stares in disbelief, and grabs the tape to make sure
MAMO
I give
it seven stars!
DEV
This
is horrible...
ANDREW
This
is pathetic...
MATT
This
is atrocious
JUAN
(O.S)
I'll
take it! How much?
JUAN
walks back on screen
MAMO
Twenty
dollars
JUAN
That's
it? That is really bad salesmanship. Now tell me something Mr. Mammy. If you
had the cure for all of the world's diseases would you sell it for the price of
a priced to own videocassette? I think not! So would you sell the most highly
anticipated movie of all time for that price? No! You would sell it for a
ridiculous price to drive sales!
MAMO
You're
right
(beat)
Fifty
bucks!
JUAN
Now,
that's more like it
MATT,
DEV, and ANDREW stare in horror as JUAN hands MAMO a fifty-dollar bill
ANDREW
Dude,
are you that dense?
DEV
The
word 'phantom' on the back of the box is spelled with an 'f'
MATT
It
uses the word "Yoda" and the "Ninja" in the same sentence.
I don't even think that's legal in this country.
JUAN
I
don't care. You don't pass up opportunities like this ever
MAMO
hands him an empty case
MAMO
Pleasure
doing business with you
JUAN
The
pleasure was all mine!
JUAN
realizes that the case is empty
JUAN
Um...
sir. The case is empty. Are you trying to pull a fast one on me?
MAMO
Oh,
sorry!
He
reaches into his pants and pulls out a VHS tape. he hands it to JUAN
MATT
(disgusted)
Weak,
dude!
DEV
Are
you done?
MATT
That's
disgusting! He just pulled it out of his pants!
JUAN
Yeah.
Let's go!
CUT TO:
INT.
DEV'S CAR - DAY
DEV
gets into the driver's seat of his car. ANDREW gets into the passenger side,
and MATT and JUAN sit in the back
MATT
(beat)
I
still can't believe he pulled that out of his pants and you handled it with out
a biohazard suit!
DEV
Seriously,
I hope you're happy
JUAN
Oh, I
am. I am going to be the coolest guy at the party
ANDREW
(checking
watch)
Well,
we won't make the party if we don't leave now
DEV
Seat
belts!
MATT
Yo,
Dev. Let me get your cell
DEV
(handing
cell phone)
Here
MATT
takes the cell phone and dials an area code and number and waits. Everyone
watches as he waits. The phone rings
MATT
What?
Some
one picks up
VOICE
(V.O)
Hello?
MATT
Hello,
this is Matthew may I please speak to Tracy?
DEV
signals MATT to hurry up
VOICE
(V.O)
She's
sleeping. I'll tell her you called
MATT
Ok,
thank you
MATT
presses the end button on the cell phone. He hands it back to DEV
ANDREW
No
dice, huh?
MATT
Nope...
ANDREW
I
don't see why you even bother. I mean no offense or anything, but isn't she
going out with that Keith kid?
MATT
No...
she isn't
ANDREW
Are
you certain though?
MATT
Yes!
(beat)
She
would've told me. We are good friends
ANDREW
Just
saying is all...
DEV
Let's
get out of here
DEV
pulls out of his parking spot and drives off
FADE OUT
FADE IN:
INT.
DEV'S CAR - NIGHT
It has
gotten dark. All of the passengers in the vehicle are bored out of their minds,
with the exception of their extreme desire to shut off the music that DEV is
blasting.
MATT
Can
you put on something else?
DEV
continues to move to the beat of the music
MATT
I said
"Can you put something else on"?
DEV
Why?
Don't like this?
MATT
Well,
my personal opinion is that it was fine the first seven times you played it.
I'm not sure how it fares with the other passengers in the car
DEV
Fine.
What do you want then?
MATT
I
don't know
(looks
around)
How
about Z-100
Everyone
bursts into laughter
DEV
Z-100?
Are you serious?
MATT
Yeah.
One day Tracy gave me a ride and introduced me to it. It's not that bad once
you get past the repetitiveness
DEV
Whatever
you say
DEV
turns the tuner to 100.3 as ANDREW nonchalantly makes the 'whipped' noise and
motion a few times. MATT sinks into his chair and turns to JUAN who is hugging
his new tape
ANDREW
Are we
there yet?
MATT
Yeah,
seriously!
DEV
Calm
down. You saw the traffic on the LIE
ANDREW
How
much longer till we get home?
DEV
About
another twenty minutes, depending on traffic
Everyone
moans
DEV
Moan
all you want. It's not going to make the time go any faster
The
car begins to make eerie noises
DEV
What
the hell was that?
The
car makes even louder noises. Everyone turns to JUAN
JUAN
(beat)
It
isn't me this time, I swear!
DEV
looks down at his fuel gauge. The meter is below 'E'
DEV
Juan,
you told me that we had enough gas!
JUAN
We do.
Look!
He
leans over the driver seat and points to the gauge
JUAN
See...
E for "Enough"
DEV
You
asshole, E is for Empty!
JUAN
Oh!
JUAN
sits back in his seat
JUAN
I knew
I should've taken drivers Ed
DEV
Shit!
We are going to have to get off the high way
DEV
turns and they get off at a national park onto a local road. The car comes to a
stop on a dark, long, and empty road
ANDREW
This
is perfect. Thanks a lot, Juan!
DEV
Don't
worry, we aren't too screwed
DEV stops the engine, takes the key, and exits
the car
A beat
Everyone
follows
EXT.
EMPTY ROAD - NIGHT
DEV
runs to the trunk of the car and unlocks it with his key. The guys follow him
to the trunk
DEV
I have
spare fuel in here
He
opens the trunk and looks through his stuff. He finds a bags of F.A.O Schwartz
plastic bags with toys. He also finds a funnel
DEV
Where
the hell is my spare fuel?
JUAN
raises his hand with a guilty expression on his face
JUAN
Um...
Dev. I got rid of it... we needed space in the trunk...
DEV
Don't
even finish that sentence, Juan. So help me God I will break your face!
JUAN
steps back
ANDREW
Now
what?
DEV
It
looks like we are going to have to find a gas station
ANDREW
(sarcastically)
Yeah,
that shouldn't be to hard with all of the houses and lights to lead us in the
right direction!
MATT
Where
is the nearest one?
DEV
I'll
check the my map
DEV
runs to the passenger side of the car and opens the glove compartment. Inside
are a flashlight and a map. He grabs both
DEV
(examining
map)
So
where are we?
MATT
Last
sign I saw said we were near some park in queens
DEV
Fresh
Meadows?
MATT
Yeah!
DEV
(pointing
to map)
Ok, so
we'll guesstimate we are here
He
drags his finger along the map to the nearest gas station symbol on the map
DEV
Which
means the nearest gas station isn't far
MATT
I'll
go
DEV
Good,
thanks for helping. You'll need money though
DEV
walks around the car to the driver’s side and opens the overhead mirror. He
stares confused
DEV
There
is usually fifty dollars in this!
JUAN
(beat)
Well...actually
DEV
turns around. The expression on his face could shatter ice
DEV
You
used my fifty?
JUAN
I
needed the money
DEV
YOU
USED MY SPARE FIFTY!?!
DEV
charges JUAN and checks him down a small hill behind them. DEV goes ballistic
on JUAN. MATT and ANDREW run after them and pull him off
MATT
Calm
down, D. This isn't going to get us anywhere!
DEV
(to
JUAN)
IT
BETTER BE A GREAT MOVIE, JUAN! IT BETTER BE AMAZING!
ANDREW
You
don't have any money?
DEV
No, I
don't! I spent it all on lunch
(To
JUAN)
And
this cock smoker here used my spare fifty to buy that f-ing bootleg!
MATT
& ANDREW
WHAT!?!
They
let go of DEV and they charge JUAN. JUAN runs quickly and climbs up a tree, far
from the reaches of ANDREW, and MATT. DEV walks back to the car
ANDREW
(to
JUAN)
Come
down here, Juan! We won't hurt you!
MATT
(To
JUAN)
Too
seriously
DEV
(O.S)
Guys,
come here!
MATT
and ANDREW turn and run to the car
JUAN
Where
are you guys going?
MATT
and ANDREW walk to DEV at the trunk. He takes out a bucket
DEV
It's
small but it will have to do
MATT
Do for
what?
DEV
Well,
because of our friends little stupid mistake we are stranded. We have no money
and no means of transportation with out gas. But, lucky us, It's late, we are
in the middle of nowhere and we have a bucket. We are going to have steal gas
from the gas station
MATT
No
way!
ANDREW
There
is no way that I am going to steal gas! Why don't you just call your Mom? We
shouldn't have to resort to theft!
DEV
Are
you serious, Drew? If my mom found out that I went driving to the city on a
school night and ran out of gas she would kill me then ground me. Then she
would find a way to some how kill me again
MATT
We
could get arrested!
DEV
Please,
Guys! For me! One of you distracts the attendant. There should only be one
because of the location and the time. The other just pumps. Get it back here
and I will funnel it and we get out of here!
MATT
It
doesn't sound like you involved yourself in the equation
DEV
Listen,
I will stay back here and watch or kill Juan. Which ever comes first. I don't
want him to do anything stupid, which is his nature
ANDREW
You
owe us, D!
DEV
Whatever.
Hurry up!
MATT
grabs the map and flash light, checks the direction and runs that way. ANDREW
follows with the bucket as DEV walks back down the hill to the tree that JUAN
is hiding in
FADE TO:
EXT.
GAS STATION - NIGHT
They
walk into the center of the two-pump station. There is a small building near by
MATT
Ok,
we're here
(points
to building)
The
owner must be in there. You pump, I'll distract
MATT
attempts to walk to the building but ANDREW grabs his shirt
ANDREW
Whoa,
whoa, whoa. I'm not going to be the one behind the criminal act
(hand
MATT bucket)
You pump, I'll distract
MATT
There
is a very simple way to settle this. It's called R.P.S.
ANDREW
You
are so childish
MATT
Would
you prefer 'Mickey Mouse builds a house' or 'Dip, Dip, dog shit'?
ANDREW
Just
hurry it up
MATT
Best
out of three!
They
shake their hands. MATT shows a scissor and ANDREW shows a paper
ANDREW
Lucky!
They
repeat, except this time MATT shows a rock, and ANDREW shows a scissor
MATT
Ha,
success!
ANDREW
Shit!
MATT
Have
fun pumpin'
MATT
runs to the building and goes inside
INT.
GAS BUILDING - NIGHT
MATT
enters an gas station store with no attendant. He looks around confused
MATT
What
the hell?
He
exits
EXT.
GAS STATION - NIGHT
He
walks to ANDREW who is standing beside one pump extremely confused
ANDREW
Dude,
isn't there supposed to be a pump, or a squeeze thingy?
MATT
Yeah,
usually
ANDREW
Usually?
What the hell is “usually”?
MATTD
Unless
it's released by a pump that is controlled by the man inside
ANDREW
So
that means?
MATT
Unless
I can find the switch, you are orally pumping
ANDREW
Ugh...
(beat)
Why
did you come back out anyway?
MATT
No one
is inside
ANDREW
So
what are you waiting for, go flick the switch, or turn the knob or whatever
MATT
I'm
going, I'm going
MATT
runs back to the building. ANDREW looks at the hose for the gasoline and puts
it close to his mouth and shudders. A creaking door is heard. ANDREW drops the
hose and ducks behind a pump. He looks around and sees a house in the distance,
and there is an old man coming out of the house carrying a shotgun. ANDREW
bites his lip and peers from behind the pump
CUT TO:
INT.
GAS BUILDING - NIGHT
MATT
searches frantically behind the counter for a switch when he looks outside and
sees ANDREW waving his hands from behind the pump. MATT'S eyes widen at the
sound of a shot gun cocking
OLD
MAN (O.S)
Who
are you?
MATT
Please
don't shoot me!
OLD
MAN (O.S)
What
are you doing here?
MATT
I am
looking for directions, that is all, I swear!
OLD
MAN (O.S)
Is
that so?
The
OLD MAN puts the shotgun down. MATT turns around
MATT
Thank
you, God!
OLD
MAN
What
are you doing over here so late on a school night?
MATT
Well...
that's a good question
CUT TO:
EXT.
GAS STATION - NIGHT
ANDREW
comes from behind the pump and panics. He begins to blow into the gas hose.
CUT TO:
EXT.
EMPTY ROAD - NIGHT
DEV
stands attentive under the tree bargaining with JUAN
DEV
Juan,
I've calmed down. Come down so we can talk this through!
JUAN
You
haven't calmed down. That's a lie!
DEV
Yes I
have, Juan!
JUAN
You
promise?
DEV
I
promise
JUAN
Ok,
I'm coming down
JUAN
climbs down halfway and slips the rest. When he gets to his feet he faces JUAN
and wipes off his clothes
JUAN
Ok,
I'm down
DEV
I'm
going to kill you!
DEV
charges JUAN again but this time JUAN runs into the middle of the street and
runs in the direction of the gas station. DEV runs out of breath quickly
(smoking'll do that to ya') but JUAN keeps running
DEV
(out
of breath)
You
can't run from me!
DEV
stops running
CUT TO:
INT.
GAS BUILDING - NIGHT
MATT
takes a glance out the window. He stands backed up against the door terrified
OLD
MAN
The
name is Darwin. Darwin Daniels
MATT
Nice
to meet you, Darwin
DARWIN
(beat)
Now
that I have introduced myself it's only customary that you introduce yourself
MATT
Oh,
sorry. I'm Matthew Abraham
DARWIN
How
old are you?
MATT
I'm
seventeen, sir
DARWIN
Darwin
MATT
(confused)
What?
DARWIN
Don't
call me sir, Matthew. Sir is only for old men
MATT
Sorry
(under
breath)
Sir
CUT TO:
EXT.
GAS STATION - NIGHT
ANDREW
drops the hose out of his mouth and begins to hack and cough
CUT TO:
INT.
GAS BUILDING - NIGHT
MATT
looks at DARWIN'S shotgun
DARWIN
You
know what?
MATT
What?
DARWIN
I can
smell fear on you
MATT
(terrified)
Really?
DARWIN
Which
is bad because I lost my sense of smell in 'nam
MATT
That
really bites, Darwin
DARWIN
(beat)
I'm
going to call your parents
MATT
No!
DARWIN
Why
not? Are you not supposed to be out here?
MATT
No,
It's not that...
DARWIN
Don't
hide anything from me! What's your number?
MATT
Um...
(thinks)
555-1212
DARWIN
It
sounds familiar
MATT
Really...
That's weird
MATT
swallows the excess saliva in his mouth and takes a breath as DARWIN dials
DARWIN
(dialing)
You
said your number was 555-1212?
MATT
Yeah...
(beat)
An
answering machine is probably going to pick up right away that claims to be
'Bell Atlantic Information' but don't believe it. It's just a joke my parents
like to play
DARWIN
(beat)
So
your parents use "the drugs", huh?
MATT
Excuse
me?
CUT TO:
EXT.
GAS STATION - NIGHT
ANDREW
slams the hose down on the floor. He isn't having any success
CUT TO:
INT.
GAS BUILDING - NIGHT
DARWIN
is on the phone
DARWIN
(on
phone)
...You're
son is here
(beat)
You're
son! Matthew Abers
MATT
Abraham
DARWIN
(to
phone)
Abraham
(beat)
Hello?
Hello?
(hangs
up phone)
They
hung up on me
MATT
Yup,
that sounds like my parents
DARWIN
As I
was saying, it's ok if your parents do "the drugs"
MATT
My
parents don't do drugs, sir
DARWIN
Hell,
I have even smoked up once or twice in my time. Helps my arthritis
MATT
My
Parents don't...
(beat)
You
smoke pot?
DARWIN
nods as a loud CLANG is heard from outside. MATT turns around and sees ANDREW kicking the metal pump repeatedly
DARWIN
What
was that noise?
DARWIN
grabs his shotgun and pushes MATT out of the way. He runs outside
EXT.
GAS STATION - NIGHT
DARWIN
stands at the door in shock
DARWIN
What
are you doing to my property?
ANDREW
Oh, shit
MATT
walks up behind DARWIN and tries to signal ANDREW to run, but ANDREW gets
confused
ANDREW
What?
DARWIN
turns around and catches MATT doing hand signals
DARWIN
Just
as I suspected! You youngins are in cahoots! Trying to vandalize my property,
eh'?
DARWIN
points the shotgun in MATT'S face. MATT puts his hands up
MATT
I can
explain... you see we ran out of gas
DARWIN
You
think another cracker box story will get you out of this one?
ANDREW
It's
all one big misunderstanding
DARWIN
turns to ANDREW
DARWIN
Shut
up! I'll deal with you next!
MATT
panics and kicks DARWIN in the crotch. He falls to the floor instantly
MATT
(to
ANDREW)
Run!
MATT
and ANDREW run into the forest area nearby. DARWIN struggles to get up
DARWIN
(in
pain)
Come
back here you two!
CUT TO:
EXT.
FOREST - NIGHT
MATT
and ANDREW run as fast as they can avoiding trees
CUT TO:
EXT.
GAS STATION - NIGHT
DARWIN
gets to his feet. He picks up his shotgun and reloads it. He chases after the
MATT and ANDREW. As he runs O.S, JUAN runs on screen out of breath. He reaches
the hose that ANDREW struggled with and collapses to the floor
CUT TO:
EXT.
FOREST - NIGHT
MATT
and ANDREW stop running to catch their breath
MATT
What...is...wrong
with you?
ANDREW
Orally
pumping wasn't working... I got frustrated
A shotgun
blast is heard behind them
DARWIN
(O.S)
(trailing
off)
If I
ever catch you two I'm going to...!
They
continue to run
CUT TO:
EXT.
GAS STATION - NIGHT
JUAN
wakes up on the floor. He gets up and slips over the hose back to the floor.
When he stabilizes himself again he looks around to see where he is. He looks
down and sees the hose and bucket
JUAN
I'm at
the gas station
(looks
around)
Nobody
around... maybe Matt and Andrew got lost
(beat)
Guess
it's up to Juan to save the day
He
laughs deviously; stops; and examines the pump. He thinks for a moment then
puts the hose in the bucket and runs into the building
INT.
GAS BUILDING - NIGHT
JUAN
steps into the building and looks up into the far corner and sees a security
camera and dives O.S. He crawls back on screen and looks around. He begins to
sneak around the room 'Mission: Impossible' style until he gets behind the
counter. He looks up and down and sees a switch and he flips it
CUT TO:
EXT.
GAS STATION - NIGHT
JUAN
jumps out of the gas station M:I style (exploding aquarium restaurant scene)
and runs to the bucket, which is already over flowing. He sees this and runs
back into the building
CUT TO:
EXT.
FOREST - NIGHT
MATT
and ANDREW stop running
MATT
Do you
think he's still following us?
ANDREW
I
doubt it... I haven’t heard anything in a while
MATT
You
sure
(beat;
silence)
Ok,
give me the map and we can find our way back to the car. Gotta' tell Dev we
botched
ANDREW
I
don't have the map. You do!
MATT
Not
funny dude
ANDREW
I gave
it back to you
MATT
This
isn't funny. Where is the map?
ANDREW
I'm
serious, you have it!
CUT TO:
EXT.
GAS STATION - NIGHT
JUAN
attempts to carry the bucket of gasoline without spilling any. He tries
carrying it by the handle, then by holding it in his arms. He gets a few feet
away and tires out. He puts the bucket to the floor and takes a step back to
think. He slips on the puddle of gasoline on the floor and crashes into the
Pump. He pulls himself up as DARWIN limps out of the forest. JUAN sees him
JUAN
Who
are you?
DARWIN
I was
just about to ask the same question
JUAN
Well,
I asked first
DARWIN
I own
this establishment
JUAN
uh
oh...
He
looks around
DARWIN
What's
in the bucket
JUAN
It's
um...
(thinks)
It's
my...
DARWIN
Is it
my gasoline?
JUAN
Of
course not... it's my...
(beat)
My
urine!
DARWIN
Explain
yourself, boy
JUAN
Um,
well... you see, I have these annual drug tests. For my...
(thinks)
Crack
addiction. So whenever I have to urinate the doctor says to find somewhere to
put it
DARWIN
I
see...
JUAN
Yeah,
so I should get going. This stuff needs to be refrigerated and brought to the
doctor immediately
DARWIN
(perplexed)
Why
can't all youngins be like you?
JUAN
Like
me?
DARWIN
You
seem like a good boy. Not like those punks who were just here
JUAN
Punks?
What were they doing?
DARWIN
They
were trying to destroying my property for kicks
JUAN
Damn
youngins
DARWIN
Yeah
(beat)
You
wouldn't want to... I'm cooking dinner at my house
(points
to house)
Would
you like to join me? It gets awfully lonely around here
JUAN
Sure,
why not?
DARWIN
begins to limp toward the house and JUAN follows
CUT TO:
EXT.
FOREST - NIGHT
MATT
lies on the floor beside ANDREW
MATT
We
have to find a way out of here
ANDREW
No
shit, Sherlock
MATT
sees a patch of bushes in front of him
MATT
What's
through here?
He
crawls to it and pushes it open
EXT.
EMPTY ROAD - NIGHT
DEV is
leaning up against his car smoking when MATT'S head pokes out from behind a
bush in front of the car. DEV is startled by the noise
DEV
Shit!
MATT
looks around and sees DEV
MATT
Oh,
hey, Dev!
DEV
Oh
hey? Did you get the gas?
MATT
Not
exactly
DEV
Damnit!
MATT
Where's
Juan?
DEV
He's
not with you?
MATT
He
wasn't our responsibility!
ANDREW
pokes his head out of the bushes next to MATT. ANDREW looks around and sees DEV
ANDREW
Oh,
hey, Dev!
DEV
(to
MATT)
So we
lost Juan?
ANDREW
What'd
I miss?
MATT
It's
not that big of a loss, is it?
DEV
I
can't go home knowing that Juan is out in the middle of nowhere!
ANDREW
You
know what? Maybe that hick stopped chasing us because he found Juan!
MATT
Oh,
God!
ANDREW
(terrified)
Who knows
that horrible things he's doing to him!?!
CUT TO:
INT.
DARWIN'S KITCHEN
JUAN
and DARWIN sit opposite each other at a round table in a dull colored kitchen.
JUAN and DARWIN chow down on their TV dinners
JUAN
(beat)
Can
you pass the salt?
DARWIN
Yeah
He
picks up the salt shaker beside him and passes it to JUAN
DARWIN
(beat)
Do you
want to see my expensive collection of priceless heirlooms and junk?
JUAN
That's
not a dirty euphemism for anything is it?
DARWIN
No,
not at all
JUAN
Hell
yeah!
CUT TO:
EXT. GAS
STATION - NIGHT
The
reflection of DEV, MATT, and ANDREW appears on the gasoline in the bucket as
they approach the gas station. They walk to the building
MATT
Where
is he?
They
reach the building. MATT tries to push the door to open but it's locked. He looks
through the glass to see inside, but it is dark and empty. He sees a sign in
the window that he didn't notice before. The sign reads "Out for Dinner,
Be back shortly". MATT grabs his mouth in shock
DEV
(pointing
to sign)
Oh, my
god he's going to eat Juan!
ANDREW
and DEV stare in horror
DEV
We
have to hurry!
They
run to DARWIN'S house quickly
CUT TO:
INT.
DARWIN'S COLLECTION ROOM - NIGHT
DARWIN
and JUAN enter DARWIN'S collection room. JUAN looks around at all the stuff
that DARWIN has. He then sits down in an electric chair and examines it
JUAN
Hey
Dar, what's this?
DARWIN
It's
my electric chair. Don't flip the switch
DARWIN
laughs to himself then realizes that JUAN isn't so he stops abruptly. JUAN gets
up and walks over to a large torture rack
JUAN
What's
this?
DARWIN
It's
my torture rack. It's dangerous, so don't play with it
JUAN
OK
He
sits down on the rack and beings to toy with all of the knifes and saws and
bondage material. He accidentally presses a button on the armrest and the rack
grows spikes out of the headrest. JUAN jumps off
DARWIN
Neat
trick, huh?
JUAN
I'll
say. How do you clean that off?
DARWIN
I've
never had to use it
JUAN
Really?
JUAN
sits back on the torture rack. Behind JUAN you see a large window. MATT'S head
pops up, followed by DEV and ANDREW. They watch
DEV
Oh, my
god. First he's going to torture him, then he's going to eat him
ANDREW
What a
sicko!
DEV
motions for ANDREW and MATT to follow him. They do so. Meanwhile JUAN has
gotten up and walked to DARWIN who is looking nostalgically at his coin
collection
DARWIN
These
are my precious coins. Aren't they beautiful?
JUAN
Yeah
DARWIN
(off
coins)
You
know what, Juan. You are such a nice boy. You are like the son I never had
JUAN
Thanks
JUAN'S
eye is stuck on the fruit basket on a table
DARWIN
Help
yourself
JUAN
Don't
mind if I do
(takes
apple)
Thanks
a lot
CUT TO:
INT.
DARWIN'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
The
guys walk into the house and sneak through a small living room
ANDREW
(whispering)
Country
folk! When will they learn to lock their doors?
DEV
Shut
up, I don't want to get caught!
They
see an door ajar and they go inside
CUT TO:
INT.
DARWIN'S COLLECTION ROOM - NIGHT
DARWIN
begins to twitch and he loses grip of his box of coins. They call and scatter
on the floor below. DARWIN begins to rock back in forth quickly
JUAN
Are
you ok, man?
DARWIN
(in
pain)
Yes,
thank for asking. It happens. Twitch from the war, nothing serious
JUAN
Can I
help at all?
DARWIN
You
can pick up my coins for me
JUAN
nods and bends over to pick up the coins on the floor. he bends over awfully
close to the rocking DARWIN, which is a disturbing image if looked at from the
front
DARWIN
I'm
mighty sorry about this
JUAN
Don't
worry about it
JUAN
puts his apple in his mouth
CUT TO:
INT.
WEAPON ROOM - NIGHT
The
guys enter a armory and weapon storage room. There are all sorts of medieval
swords and armors, along with army guns and suits.
ANDREW
Yo,
check this out!
(picks
up sword)
Do you
think he will mind if I take this?
DEV
Put it
down! Stop horsing around. Our friend's life is at stake here
ANDREW
I
know, but what does it matter if I profit from it?
DEV
shakes his head and walks to the next door. He looks through it and sees what
appears to be DARWIN having sex with an S&M style gagged JUAN
DEV
(disgusted)
Sick
dude!
MATT
What
is it?
DEV
That
sicko is raping Juan!!!
ANDREW
Are
you serious?
DEV
That's
it. I'm going to kill that asshole!
“DEV
runs back to the weapons rack. He picks up a big hammer; glances at it then
puts it back. He then picks up a chainsaw, thinks about it for a moment, then
puts it back. He picks up a baseball bat, swings it once, but it's not for him.
But then he spots what he's been looking for: A Samurai sword. DEV takes the
sword off the wall, removing it from its sheath. It's a magnificent piece of
steel. DEV touches his thumb to the blade to see if the sword is just for show.
Not on your life. It's as sharp as it gets.”
The above has been
Summarized/borrowed from the brilliant screenplay 'Pulp Fiction' by Quentin
Terrantino, because, well... that's what this scene is mocking. I got rid of
some descriptive sentences that I am no where near talented enough to write,
and you can probably immediately tell the difference in writing ability between
"DEV...Rack" from "He picks up... Sharp as it gets". It's
not plagiarism, it's copying with style (see I did it again *Toy Story...
falling with style...remember?)... you're right, better stick to being mute
royalty.
DEV
This
should do
MATT
Are
you going to do what I think you are going to do?
DEV
It's
our only choice... we go in five... four... three... two... one!
DEV
sneaks silently into the door leading to the collection room
INT.
DARWIN'S COLLECTION ROOM - NIGHT
DEV
runs and kneels behind a large armoire. MATT and ANDREW split up and hide
behind other large fine furnishings
DARWIN
(O.S)
How do
you like them nickels and dimes?
JUAN
(O.S)
They
are amazing
DARWIN
(O.S)
I told
you, you'd enjoy it
DEV
cringes
JUAN
(O.S)
I
should listen to you more often
A beat
DARWIN
You
can do this yourself too... Or with siblings or friends
DEV
lips "siblings or friends" to himself in disgust
JUAN
(O.S)
I most
certainly will
MATT
sneaks over to DEV with out being seen
MATT
This
is sick, dude. Juan is enjoying it!
DEV
He
must be drugged. He has to be!
JUAN
gets a splinter in the wooden floor
JUAN
Ow,
that hurts
DARWIN
Sorry
about that, I'll try to make it smoother
DEV
grows irate. He grips the sword and jumps out from behind the armoire
DEV
You
sick bastard!
DEV
charges DARWIN with the sword. An extreme wave of fear crashes on DARWIN. DEV
swings at DARWIN but misses slightly and hits an above head shelf that comes
crashing down onto DARWIN'S head
ANDREW
Dude,
they both have their pants on!
DEV
I just
noticed that
DARWIN
gets up and rubs his head
JUAN
(standing
up)
What
are you guys doing here?
DEV
We're
here to save you!
JUAN
Oh,
that's right. STAR WARS is tonight, right?
DARWIN
opens his eyes and sees MATT and ANDREW standing by the door
DARWIN
You
two, again?!
JUAN
Are
those the ones you told me about?
DARWIN
Yeah...
Go get 'em for me boy!
JUAN
My
pleasure!
JUAN
rushes DEV but he stopped when DEV puts his hand out
DEV
Loser,
you're on our side!
JUAN
Oh,
yeah! Sorry bout that, Dev. How are you doing?
DARWIN
stands up and picks up the samurai sword
MATT
(panicked)
Um...
can we save this little reunion for somewhere else, please?
ANDREW
Like,
anywhere but here!
DEV
Let's
fly!
DEV,
MATT and ANDREW run for the door. JUAN is conflicted. He looks at DARWIN then
O.S where the guys ran
MATT
(O.S)
Hurry
your ass up!
JUAN
But...!
DEV
comes back on screen and grabs JUAN by the arm
CUT TO:
EXT.
GAS STATION - NIGHT
All
four guys run out of the house, down the hill and away from the gas station.
JUAN stops
JUAN
Guys,
wait up!
DEV
Not
now, Juan. We have to run!
JUAN
I’ve
got gas!
DEV
SO
HOLD IT IN! LET'S GO!
JUAN
(points
to bucket)
No, I
got gasoline!
He
picks up the bucket
DEV
Beautiful!
MATT
and ANDREW run back and grab the bucket and carry it together.
DARWIN
finally makes it out of his house and slips and falls down the hill. He makes
ground level with a thud
DARWIN
Come
back here!
The
four guys run into the distance toward the car. DARWIN gets up and runs after
them only to slip into the puddle of gasoline left by JUAN. He hits the floor
again
DARWIN
(sobbing)
Come
back her with my friend!
JUAN
stops and turns back, but DEV grabs him by his hair and they continue to run
CUT TO:
EXT.
EMPTY ROAD - NIGHT
The
four guys reach the car. DEV opens the trunk in a hurry; grabs the funnel and
runs to the gas tank. He opens the tank and sticks the funnel in. MATT and ANDREW
lift and angle the bucket to feed the gasoline into the tank.
DEV
Hurry,
hurry!
MATT
We're
going as fast as we can, D!
They
finish the bucket and they throw it into the trunk; close it and get into the
car. DEV hops into the driver seat and sticks the key in. The car doesn't
start. They panic and DEV turns as hard as he can and the car starts. DEV puts
the car into drive and speeds off
CUT TO:
EXT.
GAS STATION - NIGHT
DARWIN
walks back to the building sobbing. He searches his pockets for cigarettes
DARWIN
I
can't believe he would leave!
(pats
overalls)
Now
all I got is his urine to remind me of him!
He
finds his cigarettes and puts on in his mouth. He takes out his lighter and
puts it to the end of the cigarette. He sparks the lighter...
CUT TO BLACK:
CUT TO:
INT.
DEV'S HOUSE - DAY
We are
back at our turning point. DEV, ANDREW, MATT and JUAN are getting ready for
their ill-fated road trip. ANDREW is tying sneakers. DEV walks to his table
DEV
OK,
What do I need?
He
searches his pockets
DEV
Car
Keys?
He pulls
his car keys out of his pocket
DEV
Check
(beat)
Reserve
Money?
He
pulls out a fifty-dollar bill
DEV
Check
(beat)
And I
have my reserve gas. I checked that a while ago... looks like we are set
MATT
Must
you do that every time we go somewhere?
DEV
No matter
how trivial the trip, it always pays to be prepared
ANDREW
(beat)
That
was so lame!
JUAN
Let's
go!
ANDREW
Yeah,
we want to get there before the movie starts
DEV
(under
breath)
Sarcastic
bastard...
He
turns to SAM and MARK who are sitting side-by-side holding hands on DEV'S futon
DEV
And I
trust you two lovebirds to lock up. Laterz!
They
all exit ad-libbing
The
door slams and there is a long pause, and silence. SAM slips her hand away from
MARK'S.
MARK
So we
are going separately, right?
SAM
Right
CUT TO:
TITLE
OVER BLACK:
"Revenge of the nerd guy"
The
doorbell rings
EXT.
OUTSIDE MYSTERIOUS HOUSE - NIGHT
MARK
stands at the front door of a large white house in the middle of a long
suburban block
He
rings the doorbell again. No answer
MARK
That's
weird
He looks
at the piece of paper he has and then at the house number. It matches the one
on the paper
MARK
This
is the right house
He
walks around to the side of the house to the side door. He rings the doorbell
there. The instant he takes his finger away from the button the door swings
wide open just missing MARK by an inch. He jumps back but doesn't land on his
feet. He looks up and sees a sweet, innocent lady standing at the door. It is
MIRK'S MOTHER
MIRK'S
MOTHER
(peppy)
Hello,
and good day!
MARK
gets to his feet
MARK
Hello,
is this...?
MIRK'S
MOTHER
You
must be here for the party. It's downstairs
MARK
Ok...
She
steps aside as MARK enters
INT.
BASEMENT - NIGHT
He
walks down a staircase
MIRK'S
MOTHER (O.S)
Watch
your head
MARK
bangs his head on the ceiling of the staircase. He rubs his head as he walks
down the rest of the stairs. He sees one teenage kid sitting on a small wooden
chair watching a big screen TV. It is DEREK
MARK
looks around confused
MARK
This
is a party isn't it?
DEREK
turns and sees MARK. He recognizes him
DEREK
Mark,
what's up!
MARK
walks over to DEREK and they shake hands
MARK
Not
much. Where is everybody?
DEREK
I was
just about to ask you the same thing. I thought maybe you brought someone
MARK
Wait,
you mean you aren't hosting the party
DEREK
Oh,
come on. Do you think I would keep a basement this classy looking? This isn't
my house
MARK
So if
you aren't hosting the party, then who is? It doesn't say on the invite!
DEREK
I
know, but the freaky lady upstairs said to wait down here. I guess the host
will be down soon
MARK
I see
MARK
looks around and spots a small stack of chairs leaned up against the wall. He
grabs one and puts it down next to DEREK
MARK
(sitting
down)
Shouldn't
there be food?
DEREK
I
know. I'm starving...
(beat)
Hey,
are you still going out with that Samantha chick?
MARK
Um...
(beat)
We
broke up yesterday
DEREK
Oh,
that bites man. That's strange, though. Usually when break ups occur at our
school it gets spread through the school like a virus. I didn't hear anything
about it
MARK
You
are the first person I'm telling
DEREK
Oh...
MARK
And I
know it might be hard seeing as how you are the first to find out, but I'd
prefer it if you didn't tell anyone as of now
DEREK
Oh,
don't worry, man. You're secret is safe with me
MARK
turns to the movie and watches for a bit. 'STAR WARS - EPISODE FOUR: A NEW
HOPE' is on
MARK
Ah, a
classic
DEREK
Big
fan?
MARK
Since
before child birth
DEREK
How
so?
MARK
I was
born the day that Return of the Jedi was released. My mom gave birth to me in
the theater watching it. She said I couldn't wait to get out and see the next
chapter in Lucas' grand saga
DEREK
Wow
MARK
There's
more. She said that I would cry if I didn't get to watch Star Wars on Fridays,
Empire on Saturdays, and Return on Sundays. It was a ritual that I grew out of
until a couple of months ago when the whole Episode one madness came into play
DEREK
Is
that it?
MARK
Yeah,
basically. Except for that fact that my Dad met my Mom at the premiere of 'Star
Wars', got married after seeing 'Empire' and I was conceived while watching
'Empire' on tape...
DEREK
That's
more than I needed to know
MARK
Yeah,
sorry
DEREK
What's
your favorite?
MARK
Star
Wars movie?
DEREK
Yeah,
I'm just curious
MARK
I'd
have to say 'Empire'
DEREK
Now
why is everyone so obsessed with that movie?
MARK
I
don't know. Maybe it's because it's amazing. It has the best ending, the most
action and character development. It's just beautiful
DEREK
That
is a crock. 'Hope' had such a better ending. Come on.. the Death Star scene in
'Hope' was so godly. So much better than the lame cloud city ending of 'Empire'
MARK
Whatever
you want to think...
DEREK
I
don't see how you can think that Empire is better. Its a known fact that
this...
(points
to TV)
is far
superior to anything spewed out of the mind of George Lucas. 'Empire' and
'Return' were just cheesy excuses to make more money. I'm not saying they
aren't entertaining and beautiful pieces of film. I'm just saying...
MARK
They
just aren't 'A new hope'
DEREK
Exactly.
Box offices results prove it too
(beat;
whispers)
And if
you stare hard enough in the scene inside of the garbage tank you can see
Leia's nipples through her white suit
MARK
(beat;
thinks)
No you
can't!
DEREK
I've
never seen it myself, but people in high places have told me things
MARK
You
mean people in places where they get high?
DEREK
Same
difference
MARK
(looking
at watch)
My
friends should be here by now
DEREK
Who
else is coming?
MARK
My
friends Matt, Drew, Dev, Juan, and Sam
DEREK
That's
enough for a party
MARK
I
know, but these guys aren’t known for truancy. They are almost always at places
before me. I'm finding this very weird
(looks
at watch)
I'm
going to call Sam. Maybe she knows what's going on
He
gets up and looks for a phone, but there is no phone in the basement
MARK
Where
is the phone?
DEREK
Beats
me. Go ask that lady
He
runs up the stairs and sticks his head through the entranceway to the first
floor. MIRK'S MOTHER is standing right there
MIRK'S
MOTHER
How
may I help you?
MARK
jumps back
MARK
You
scared me
MIRK'S
MOTHER
What are
you doing up here? The party is downstairs
MARK
I
know. I just wanted to know if I could use your telephone
MIRK'S
MOTHER
Sure.
Follow me!
MIRK'S
MOTHER opens the door fully and let's MARK enter
INT.
FIRST FLOOR - NIGHT
He
takes one step into the first floor of this humongous house. He looks around
the very bright, country like house. He follows MIRK'S MOTHER. As he follows he
notices her very hyper, eerie walk.
MARK
I'm
really sorry to bother you over something so trivial as a phone call
MIRK'S
MOTHER
It's
quite all right. Just as long as you're happy
MARK
Thank
you
She
leads him to the kitchen of the first floor. The Kitchen is even brighter than
the rest of the house. She reaches onto the counter next to the knife rack and
pulls out a phone. She hands it to him
MIRK'S
MOTHER
Here
you are
MARK
Thank
you so much, Ma'am
MIRK'S
MOTHER just stands there
MARK
Is
there anywhere I can go to speak privately?
MIRK'S
MOTHER
Of
course. Follow me!
They
walk out of the kitchen. They walk down a hallway
MIRK'S
MOTHER
So,
how is it that you heard about this little fiesta that my fun loving son is
throwing?
MARK
Well,
I got and invitation put in my locker
MIRK'S
MOTHER
Oh...
that's great. So you are a chosen one
MARK
I
guess you can say that
She
leads him to an empty room
MIRK'S
MOTHER
I had
to make sure that you weren't crashing
MARK
Oh
MIRK'S
MOTHER
Whenever
my son throws one of his fiestas grandes there are so many party crashers
(beat)
I'm
sorry about that. I like to work Spanish into my English dialogue. I said
"fiestas grandes" which means big parties. I'm sorry if I confused
you
MARK
is getting quickly annoyed
MARK
It's
quite alright
MIRK'S
MOTHER
Sometimes
I have to go downstairs and throw out twenty to thirty people at a time. That's
how many crashers we get at a time
MARK
It
must be hard work, but...
MIRK'S
MOTHER
Darn
Tootin'. It sure is. I certainly hope that there are no crashers today because
my back is bothering me and I don't have the strength to kick any fun LOVING
LITTLE SNEAKY BASTARDS OUT OF MY HOUSE!
(beat;
calms down)
Sorry
about that. I just get so mad when I think of all of the people who take
advantage of my little boy
MARK
I'm
really sorry, but I need to make this phone call
MIRK'S
MOTHER
Oh,
I'm sorry. I'll be quiet
She
stands still beside him
MARK
Um
(beat)
Ma’am
MIRK'S
MOTHER
Oh,
don't mind me
(beat)
Oh,
I’m sorry. Am I breathing too heavily?
MARK
Not
really
MIRK'S
MOTHER
It's a
problem I've had for a long time
MARK
I'm
sorry to hear that...
MIRK'S
MOTHER
My son
is always saying "Mommy Dearest, you should get that checked out" and
I always say...
MARK
Can I
be alone please?
MIRK'S
MOTHER
(beat)
Yes,
certainly
She
walks out abruptly
MARK
Psychopath
MARK
sighs. he is about to press the 'On' button of the cordless phone when the
doorbell rings
MARK
Maybe
that's them
He
walks out of the empty room
CUT TO:
INT.
LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
MARK
walks around this enormous house taking in all of his surroundings. He looks
around for MIRK'S MOTHER
MARK
Hello?
Lady?... Ma’am?
His
voice echoes through the house. He reaches a staircase that leads to an unknown
area
MARK
I
would love to live in a house this huge!
A loud
noise is heard from upstairs. He begins to walk up the stairs slowly to
investigate. He gets on the third step when MIRK'S MOTHER shouts from O.S
MIRK'S
MOTHER (O.S)
Where
do you think you are going?
MARK
jumps and turns around. He sees MIRK'S MOTHER standing behind him
MARK
(surprised)
Jeez,
you gotta stop doing that, lady
MIRK'S
MOTHER
I'm
sorry for scaring you, but you have some nerve sneaking around my house without
permission
MARK
I
heard a noise...
MIRK'S
MOTHER
Regardless,
I don't go sneaking around your house when I hear noises
MARK
I'm
really sorry
MIRK'S
MOTHER
(beat)
It's
ok. All is forgiven
MARK
Ok
CUT TO:
INT.
BASEMENT - NIGHT
MARK
walks down the stairs to the basement and bangs his head again. He catches a
glimpse of SAM sitting beside DEREK
SAM
Slick,
Mark
MARK
Where
have you been?
SAM
Strange.
I was just about to ask the same thing
MARK
Funny
DEREK
Have
fun with the freaky old lady?
MARK
Shut
up!
(to
SAM)
Have you heard from the others?
SAM
Nope.
They haven't contacted me
MARK
That's
weird
SAM
I know
DEREK
puts his arm around SAM
DEREK
So
what took you so long, Mark?
MARK
is more concerned with DEREK'S muscular arm around SAM
MARK
Got
lost
SAM
So
that's what they call it now?
SAM
and DEREK adlib about how they were both about to say the same thing. MARK
rolls his eyes
DEREK
Oh,
I’m sorry, Mark. Listen, you want to get out of here. This "party"
blows. I can't stand waiting
MARK
I'm
not sure. What if the others show up?
SAM
Who
cares? They can find their way
MIRK'S
MOTHER shrieks from upstairs
MIRK'S
MOTHER (O.S)
Dinner
Time!
DEREK
True!
Let's stay for dinner
MIRK'S
MOTHER shrieks again
MIRK'S
MOTHER
Hurry
up! You don't want it to get cold!
DEREK
takes SAM'S hand and they walk up together. MARK follows reluctantly
CUT TO:
INT.
DINING ROOM - NIGHT
MARK
enters the dining room and SAM and DEREK are already seated beside each other.
The tables are cleared except for plates, napkins and eating utensils
MARK
I
thought dinner was served already?
DEREK
Guess
not. The old croon said she'd be back with the goods
SAM
Sit
down, Mark
DEREK
Yeah,
sit, man. She should be back soon
MARK
sits down. A long silence between everyone at the table as DEREK and SAM play
around with each other. MIRK'S MOTHER enters from O.S
MIRK'S
MOTHER
Is
this everyone?
MARK
Yeah.
No one else has shown up...
MIRK'S
MOTHER
Well,
fine! Let the others downstairs starve for all I care!
She
walks O.S in frustration. The party members look at each other for a long beat
MARK
What
"others" downstairs?
DEREK
(shrugs)
Beats
me
MARK
This
is very odd
He
looks to his right and sees two other tables prepared for guests, enough to
hold about twenty more
MARK
How
many was she expecting?
DEREK
Maybe
she's just confused
SAM
Or
maybe she's just batty!
MIRK'S
MOTHER walks on screen frustrated and looks around
MIRK'S
MOTHER
He
still hasn't come down yet?
SAM
Who?
Who hasn't come down yet?
MIRK'S
MOTHER
My son
(screams)
Son,
come downstairs. Dinner is ready!
Foot
steps coming downstairs are heard from O.S and then in comes running MIRK
(remember? The nerd from before!)
MIRK
Sorry
about that, Mother!
MIRK'S
MOTHER
It's
quite alright with me, but you left your friends waiting for a good amount of
time
MARK,
SAM, and DEREK stare at MIRK. He was definitely the last person they expected
to come down that staircase
MIRK
sits down at the head of the table; puts on a bib; says a prayer; and then
chants for few moments. The others continue to gawk
MIRK
I'm so
glad you could make it
MIRK'S
MOTHER
Looks
like we have a full house tonight
MIRK
You
said it, Mom!
A
beat; they continue to stare
MIRK
Sorry
to keep you waiting for so long. I had to finish my homework
MIRK'S
MOTHER
You
see, Mirk isn't allowed to play unless he has finished all of his homework
MIRK
And
have brushed my teeth properly, flossed, gargled and used my tongue scraper!
MIRK'S
MOTHER
Did
you use it today
MIRK
(beat;
ashamed)
No...
MIRK'S
MOTHER
(appalled)
Son!
MIRK
I'm
sorry. I just got so excited that my friends were here that I just concentrated
more on dressing than my hygiene
(to
guests)
I hope
you don't mind!
MIRK'S
MOTHER
They
should! You probably smell like some kind of road kill right now!
MIRK
Mom!
MIRK'S
MOTHER
I
can't have this argument right now!
MIRK
Fine.
Bring on the food!
MIRK'S
MOTHER
Ok,
Dear
MIRK'S
MOTHER walks O.S. MARK breaks the perpetual silence of the guests
MARK
You're
hosting the party?
MIRK
Yeah.
I know I don't seem like a "party animal" but I like to occasionally
"party down" or "get down with my bad self"
(beat)
And
there is a huge turn out this time!
MARK
"Huge
turnout"?
MIRK'S
MOTHER walks on screen with a pizza box. She places it down and opens it up
MIRK'S
MOTHER
Enjoy!
She
walks O.S
MIRK
Mmmm
Boy!
(grabs
slice)
Extra
cheese, my fave!
(takes
a bite)
Aren't
you guys gonna eat?
DEREK
I
think I lost my appetite
MIRK
That's
too bad. More pizza for me!
He
takes a large bite and begins to chew
MIRK
So
what did you think of that physics test today?
MIRK'S
MOTHER (O.S)
You
aren't talking with your mouth full are you?
MIRK
No,
Mother
(swallows)
Easy
right?
SAM
Actually,
I thought it was the hardest test all year
MARK
Me
too...
MIRK
Wow!
I'm going to apologize in advance for this remark, but It's the truth, and the
truth hurts but... You guys should study more!
A beat
DEREK
Mirk,
shut up!
MIRK
Point
taken. Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom
He
walks O.S quickly. DEREK looks O.S to make sure he is gone. He turns quickly to
MARK
DEREK
I
don't know about you, but I really want to leave right now! I can feel myself
becoming lower on the food chain just sitting here
MARK
That
wouldn't be nice. Let's wait till he gets back to tell him
SAM
I
think Derek is right. I say we leave now!
MARK
Well
fine, go with Derek. I'm going to stay here and be the only respectable one
DEREK
Suit
yourself
SAM
(pleading)
Please
come with us!
MIRK
enters again
MIRK
Sorry
about that. I must've eaten too fast
DEREK
stands up
MIRK
What
you are doing?
DEREK
Dude,
we have to go... Now!
MIRK
Please
just wait a few minutes. I have to show you something downstairs
DEREK
looks at MARK and he nods
DEREK
(sighs)
Fine.
Hurry it up though
CUT TO:
INT.
BASEMENT - NIGHT
MIRK
leads MARK, SAM, and DEREK downstairs, passed the TV entertainment station.
They follow him through a large wooden door
INT.
SHELTER - NIGHT
They
enter a gigantic room filled with supplies (food, boxes of water; enough to
last a few years), televisions, video games and posters. It is a teenager’s
heaven
MIRK
Welcome
to my paradise!
MARK
Wow,
Mirk! You have everything in here!
MIRK
I
know. Isn't it great?
DEREK
stumbles inside a walk in closet that has racks and rows of movies (VHS and
DVD) and compact discs
DEREK
Holy
Shit! Check this out, Sammy!
DEREK
walks in
SAM
What
is it?
MARK
"Sammy"?
SAM
What?
MIRK
Do you
guys like it?
DEREK
(O.S)
It
rules, Mirk!
MIRK
I'm
glad you like it...
(smiles)
I'll
be right back, don't go anywhere
He
exits
MARK
What
the hell is "Sammy"?
SAM
What
is so bewildering about my name?
MARK
First
it's the arm, and now it's "Sammy"? What is this shit?
SAM
What
is wrong with you?
DEREK
(O.S)
True,
he even has pornos in here!
SAM
What
is your problem?
MARK
My
problem? My problem is the situation I'm stuck in and what you're doing! The
Samantha Peterson I knew would never ever put up with the infantile
maneuverings, innuendos, and sexual advances of a horny teenager. In laymen's
terms: What the hell is up with all of this permitted flirting?
SAM
What
do you care? We aren't going out anymore!
MARK
That
is beside the point! Even when we weren't going out you would never put up with
shit like that!
SAM
Are
you trying to imply something?
MARK
Maybe
I am
SAM
What
am I trying to do, Mark? Am I trying to make you jealous, Mark? Are you that
full of yourself that you think that I have nothing better to do? It's over
between us, Mark, and I couldn't be happier
MARK
I
never once said that you were trying to make me jealous
SAM
No,
but you implied it!
MARK
Implied
it ,Schmimplied it! You think that I would even care if you were trying to make
me jealous?
(beat)
Talk
about full of yourself
MIRK
returns
MIRK
I'm
sorry about that. Ok, guys, since you are my friends I'm going to cut you in on
a deal
DEREK
exits the movie chamber and joins the conversation
DEREK
What
kind of deal?
MIRK
I'm
going to let you in on a little secret. A few years ago when Y2K first became a
thought my mom and me financed the construction of a battery powered chamber to
house up to ten people for three years. That's enough to survive the first
effects of Y2K. It's very simple. In turn for your friendship, I will let you
stay in my Y2K shelter for as long as you want
DEREK
That's
awesome. Thanks, Mirk!
MIRK
So
what do you say?
MARK
Thanks
SAM
Thanks
DEREK
Thanks,
man
MIRK
This
is so great
MARK
I have
to go, Mirk. This party isn't my thing
MIRK
Um...
Mark, I don't think you understood what I was saying
MARK
I did.
Friendship for protection from the inevitable. I understood
MIRK
(beat)
Well,
my idea of a friend was the kind of one that stays with me until it happens
They
all look at MIRK
MIRK
I thought
that was implied. Today is the launching day
(beat)
If you
guys are really my friends than you will stay with me
SAM
Mirk,
we are your friends. But we can't stay down here months and months because of a
hypothetical theory
MIRK
It's
not hypothetical, Samantha. It is going to happen and the effects are already
starting. Haven't you read in the weekly world news all of the weird things
going on. It's Armageddon!
MARK
Mirk,
you are scaring us!
MIRK
Good,
than I am doing you a favor by warning you, now!
SAM
Mirk,
we should be going now!
MIRK
I am
offering you infinite paradise and protection!
MARK
(looks
at SAM)
We
have our own lives to tend to
MIRK
Oh, I
see. It's because I'm not a part of your lives or anything. I'm insignificant!
SAM
None
of us said that, Mirk!
MIRK
No,
but you implied it!
MARK
Calm
down, Mirk
MIRK
Don't
"Calm down, Mirk" me! You guys lied to me!
MARK
We did
not lie to you!
MIRK
Yes
you did! You said that you were my friends, but I’ve seen through your phony
false faces... and now you will pay the consequences for betraying me!
DEREK
Consequences?
MIRK
You
are going to stay here, whether you like it or not!
DEREK
What?
MARK
Listen,
Mirk. We are going to leave now. It will give you some time to cool off...
MIRK
Do you
guys all need hearing aids? I am not letting you out of this house!
DEREK
That's
what you think! Run, guys!
They
all run out of the room
INT.
BASEMENT - NIGHT
They
exit the chamber and run to the door but it is locked
MIRK
(O.S)
All of
the doors are locked. I just made sure of it!
DEREK
He's
bluffing!
MIRK
exits the chamber and laughs deviously
MIRK
There
is no escape!
DEREK
Says
you!
DEREK
runs to the first floor. MIRK follows
SAM
Oh, my
God. He's a psycho
MARK
I
know. We have to get out of here!
SAM
How?
All of the doors are locked!
MARK
We'll
use the phone upstairs and call for help!
They
run up the stairs
CUT TO:
INT.
FIRST FLOOR - NIGHT
MARK
peeks his head through the door as DEREK runs by being chased frantically by
MIRK. When they are a safe distance away he opens the door fully and grabs
SAM'S hand. They run for the kitchen
When
they reach the kitchen, MARK grabs the phone behind the knife rack and takes
SAM to the empty room where he attempted to make the phone call before
They
enter the empty room and close the door. They duck down and sit in the corner
to catch their breath
SAM
I'm
scared, Mark
MARK
Me
too, Sam
He
looks at the phone
SAM
Who
are you going to call?
MARK
The
cops first
He
presses the 'on' button of the phone and nothing happens
MARK
(beat)
That's
odd
SAM
What's
wrong?
MARK
The
phone isn't working
He
presses the 'on' button once more
SAM
Hurry!
Make it work!
MARK
I'm
trying!
He
presses every button. It still does not turn on
MARK
(frustrated)
Son of
a bitch!
He
turns the phone around and opens the back. The battery hold is empty
MARK
Where's
the battery?
SAM
What!?!
MARK
throws the phone in a fit of anger
MARK
This
was a set up from the beginning!
Pounding
is heard at the door
MARK
(whispering)
Shit!
SAM
(whispering)
Oh,
God. That's probably him
Another
pounding at the door
MARK
holds SAM tightly
MARK
Don't
worry, Sam. I'll get us out of here... Some how, I promise!
The
pounding gets louder, and louder, and LOUDER!
CUT TO BLACK
FADE IN:
INT.
GUYS HOLDING ROOM - NIGHT
At
full force, MARK is pushed into a small rectangle room. DEREK stands in the
corner
MIRK
(O.S)
You
two just wait here until I'm finished finalizing controls for the shelter
MARK
charges the door
MARK
(to
MIRK O.S)
Where
are you putting Sam!?!
The
door slams before he reaches it. The door locks
DEREK
I
thought you escaped. The reason I ran that suicide mission was so you and SAM
could get out and call the cops!
MARK
We
tried the next best thing! But the phone was a decoy!
DEREK
Shit!
(beat)
Well,
It looks like we have no chance of escaping
MARK looks
at the window, which is half ajar
MARK
What
about the windows?
DEREK
Too
long of a drop
MARK
Are
you sure?
A
faint voice is heard through the wall
SAM
(O.S)
Mark?
Derek? Are you there?
They
both run to the wall and press their ears against it
MARK
Sam?
Are you ok? Did he hurt you?
SAM
I'm
fine, Mark!
MARK
Are
you sure?
DEREK
(has
an idea)
If we
can hear her through the wall, then the wall can't be that thick!
DEREK
goes back a safe distance; MARK steps back as if he knows what is about to
happen. DEREK charges the wall at full force. He crashes and slowly sinks to
the floor in agony. He didn't even make a dent
MARK
(beat)
Are
you done?
DEREK
(in
pain)
Yeah
SAM
(O.S)
What
was that noise?
MARK
puts his mouth close to the wall
MARK
Nothing
important...
(looks
to window)
Sam,
is there a window in your room?
SAM
(O.S)
Yeah!
MARK
Look
outside! What do you see?
CUT TO:
INT.
GIRLS HOLDING ROOM - NIGHT
SAM is
being held in a room that is almost identical to the room that MARK and DEREK
are being held captive in
SAM
walks to the window and looks out
SAM
(shouting)
It's
the front of the house!
CUT TO:
INT.
GUYS HOLDING ROOM - NIGHT
MARK
is peeking out of the window as well. He sees the front of the house as well
MARK
I'm
going to take a guess and say that if I were to walk across the roof I could
probably reach you!
SAM
(O.S)
It's
too dangerous! Don't even think about it!
MARK
I'm
coming now! I'll be right over!
He
quickly turns to DEREK who is still on the floor in pain
MARK
Try to
find a way out of this room. I'm going to get Sam
(beat)
Are
you well enough to be alone?
DEREK
(in
pain)
What
does it mean when the bone is coming through the skin?
MARK
You'll
be fine
MARK
runs to the window and opens it all of the way. He climbs out of it
EXT.
ROOFTOP - NIGHT
He
steps out onto a diagonal roof. It is on a sixty-degree angle. He looks down
and it is a big drop, like DEREK said. He moves slowly along the roof to the
next window. He makes it and sees Sam at the fully closed window
MARK
Open
the window!
SAM
I
can't. I tried, but it won't budge!
MARK
Hold
on!
He
stabilizes his feet and pushes up on the window
CUT TO:
INT.
GUYS HOLDING ROOM - NIGHT
DEREK
attempts to get himself up
DEREK
My
God, that hurts!
The
door unlocks
MIRK
(O.S)
Where
is Mark?
DEREK
falls back to the floor and shakes his head
MIRK
(O.S)
No
matter. Looks like you get to be first
The
CAMERA moves closer on DEREK as he screams like a girl
CUT TO:
EXT.
ROOFTOP - NIGHT
MARK
hears the shriek of DEREK and slips. He rolls and catches himself on the window
SAM
MARK!
MARK
slowly gets himself back up. When he does, he goes right back to opening the
window
MARK
On the
count of three!
SAM
nods
MARK
& SAM
One...
two...three
They
both lift and the window goes up. MARK climbs in quickly
INT.
GIRLS HOLDING ROOM - NIGHT
MARK
slips as he is climbing into the room but SAM catches him
MARK
Thank
you
SAM
Are
you ok?
MARK
Yeah,
I’m fine...
He
gets to his feet
SAM
That's
good... because I'M NOT!
She
begins to hit him on the chest
SAM
I was
so scared! Don't ever do that to me, asshole!
MARK
I'm
very sorry!
SAM
(hugs
MARK)
Mark,
I'm so scared!
MARK
I
know. I'm holding myself to that promise. I will get you out of here!
SAM
Mark...
MARK
Yes?
SAM
(beat)
Just
for the record... I was trying to make you jealous
MARK
Why,
though?
SAM
(beat)
Because...
I still like you
MARK
For
the record?
SAM
Yes
MARK
I
still like you too, but let's save the romantic stuff for when we are out of
here!
SAM
Speaking
of that, how are we getting out of here?
MARK
We are
going back my room! We will work from there
SAM
You're
joking right?
CUT TO:
EXT.
ROOFTOP - NIGHT
SAM
and MARK walk across the roof with relative ease. SAM stops for a minute and
looks down
SAM
I
can't believe you are making me do this!
MARK
Calm
down
(grabs
her hand)
We are
almost there
He
pulls her along into his arms in front of the window. She looks up at him and
then down at window. She climbs in
INT.
GUYS HOLDING ROOM - NIGHT
MARK
climbs in after SAM
SAM
Where
is Derek?
The
room is completely empty
MARK
(looking
around)
I
don't know...
SAM
Mirk
probably took him
MARK
Most
likely. The only thing is we will probably be next
SAM
What
do we do?
Footsteps
are heard O.S
MARK
I
don't know, but we better think of something quickly
The
footsteps move closer and closer then stop abruptly. The doorknob turns and
MIRK walks in
MIRK
Mark,
you're next...!
MARK
punches MIRK in the face. He falls straight to the floor
SAM
That
was your plan?
MARK
It
worked, right?
SAM
Whatever,
let's go!
They
step over MIRK'S unconscious body and run out the door
CUT TO:
INT.
LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
They
come running down the staircase that MARK was admiring earlier. They stop and
look around
SAM
Where
are we?
MARK
Follow
me!
He
grabs her hand and they run O.S
CUT TO:
INT.
BASEMENT - NIGHT
They
run down the stairs to the basement and into the chamber
INT.
SHELTER - NIGHT
They
enter and DEREK is seated, strapped, and gagged. They work together to take the
bondage off of him. They remove the gag
DEREK
Why
are you guys bothering with me!?!
MARK
rolls his eyes and re-gags him and goes back to un-strapping him. SAM looks at
him and then un-gags DEREK
MARK
We
need to hurry and get out of here before Mirk wakes up
DEREK
What'd
you do? Drug him?
MARK
In a
manner of speaking
They
get him completely untied then work together to help him to his feet
DEREK
Thanks
a lot, guys
They
turn to the exit but MIRK is already standing there breathing heavily with a
black left eye. There is a long silence
MARK
Mirk,
let us go
A
beat; no answer
MARK
Mirk,
let us go or I’ll kick your ass!
MIRK
(screaming)
DON'T
THREATEN ME! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BULLY ME WITH YOUR WEAK THREATS! JUST BECAUSE
I'M A NERD YOU THINK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO BULLY ME? YOU MUST BE SO POWERFUL
THAT YOU CAN USE PHYSICAL VIOLENCE TO MAKE A OBVIOUSLY PHYSICALLY INFERIOR
PERSON WHIMPER AT THE THOUGHT OF BEING INFLICTED WITH PAIN!
MARK
Mirk...
you are yelling at the wrong people! We don't mock you, or make you feel
inferior
MIRK
DON'T
PATRONIZE ME!! BETCHA DIDN'T KNOW I CAN FIGHT BACK! I CAN FIGHT JUST GOOD AS
ANY OF YOU!
MARK
Mirk,
where is the exit?
MIRK
If you
can beat me in a fight I will tell you!
MARK
Are
you serious?
MIRK
It's
time I proved that Mirk Landon is not a wimp!
MIRK
takes off his glasses and puts them on the floor. He gets into a strange karate
stance. He then begins to dance around as if inside a boxing ring, randomly
swinging a foot or a fist at MARK, but missing every time
MIRK
See,
this is where ritualistically watching 'Mortal Kombat' and 'Mortal Kombat:
Annhialation' the motion pictures is going pay off. So many options! I can do a
'Lui Kang Bicycle kick' or a 'Johnny Cage Uppercut', a 'Sonya Leg grab' or a
'Scorpion...'
MARK
punches MIRK in the face again. He falls to the floor
MARK
I'm
sorry, but it had to be done. Let us go, now...
MIRK
(beat)
A
deal's a deal
DEREK
and SAM help MIRK up
CUT TO:
EXT.
OUTSIDE MYSTERIOUS HOUSE - NIGHT
DEREK,
MARK, and SAM exit the house and take a breath of fresh air as if they haven’t
in years. MIRK stands in the doorway
MIRK
I hope
you're happy
DEREK
I know
I am
MIRK
Yeah,
you may be happy now, but come December thirty-first you will wish you hadn't
been a bunch of pricks and had stayed with me!
DEREK
Mirk...
DEREK
places his hand on his shoulder as if to give him advice
DEREK
Shut
up!
MARK'S
watch beeps. He looks at it and it reads '11:30PM'
MARK
Shit!
We were supposed to be at the movie theater already! We are going to be late!
MIRK'S
MOTHER (O.S)
Oh no,
you don't!
Everyone
turns to see MIRK'S MOTHER standing outside with a loaded shotgun pointed at
the former guests!
MARK
Shit!
Will this ever end?
MIRK'S
MOTHER
You
will not abandon my son. You will not treat him like this and get away with it!
SAM
Listen,
Ma’am. What you are doing is illegal. You can't hold people against their will
just because you want your son to have friends
MIRK'S
MOTHER
I
don't care! My son will have company in that shelter, and that's final!
A car
comes screeching down the road
DEREK
What
the...?
The
car turns into the driveway. MARK grabs SAM and dives out of the way of the
vehicle. DEREK jumps out of the way as well. MIRK stares in shock from the
doorway as the car skids to a halt an inch from hitting MIRK'S MOTHER. She
freezes in her last position in shock
CUT TO:
INT.
DEV'S CAR - NIGHT
DEV is
at the wheel of the now halted car
DEV
Holy
shit! What the hell is going on here?
DEV
exits the car quickly
EXT.
OUTSIDE MYSTERIOUS HOUSE - NIGHT
DEV
walks to MIRK'S MOTHER and waves his hand in front of her, but she does not
react
DEV
Hey,
Lady! Wake up!
MIRK
(O.S)
Mom!
DEV
(turns
to MIRK)
Mirk?
MATT,
ANDREW, and JUAN get out of DEV'S car
MATT
Sorry
we are late
SAM
(getting
up)
No
problem!
ANDREW
What
happened here?
MARK
Long
story! Let's just get out of her now!
DEV
steps back from MIRK'S MOTHER after MIRK breaks down in tears in front of her
DEV
Good
Idea!
DEV
runs back to the car and gets into the driver's seat. MATT, SAM, MARK, JUAN,
and ANDREW run and squish into the car
INT.
DEV'S CAR - NIGHT
DEV
puts the car in reverse
DEV
Yo,
what was Mirk doing there?
MARK
& SAM
(screaming)
LONG
STORY! DRIVE!
DEV'S
Car speeds out of the driveway and drives out of sight
EXT.
OUTSIDE MYSTERIOUS HOUSE - NIGHT
MIRK
helps his mother into the house
MIRK
Don't
worry, Mommy. We can live in the shelter together...
They
walk inside and slam the door. DEREK gets up from behind the pair of bushes he
was hiding behind and looks around as we...
FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN:
INT.
MOVIE THEATER LOBBY - 11:45PM
TRACY
(remember her? I didn't forget her, don't worry) stands at the box office
window inside of the movie theater lobby
TRACY
You
wouldn't happen to have any more tickets for the twelve’ o’clock show of STAR
WARS, would you?
BOX
OFFICE LADY
Ha!
The
lady bursts into hysterics in TRACY'S face as six people come running into the
lobby from outside. It is DEV, MATT, ANDREW, SAM, MARK, and, JUAN. They seem exhausted,
and they all have their reasons
DEV
Sorry,
we're late
TRACY
Whatever
DEV
Why
aren't you inside with seats?
TRACY
Why
were you late?
DEV
Good
point
(to
everyone)
Come
on guys!
Everyone
runs to the TICKET TEARER in the distance, except for TRACY
TRACY
Enjoy
the movie, Guys!
Everyone
stops what he or she is doing
MATT
You
aren't going, Tracy?
TRACY
Nah.
Wasn't in the cards I guess. Don't worry, I'll still be at the diner for the
usual review session
They
all look at each other. MATT walks to TRACY
MATT
But...
You have to go, Trace
TRACY
I
can't go! I.. I don't have a ticket
A
voice is heard O.S
SW FAN
(O.S)
Yeah,
the previews are starting!
DEV
walks to MATT and TRACY
DEV
Matt,
the movie is starting
MATT
Give
me a minute with, Tracy
DEV
nods agreeingly and walks back to the TICKET TEARER. Everyone gets his or her
ticket torn. They all go into the theater
MATT
reaches into his pocket
MATT
Here...
He
pulls out his movie ticket for "THE PHANTOM MENACE"
MATT
I want
you to have this
TRACY
No!
MATT
Why
not?
TRACY
It's
yours! I'm not going to take your ticket!
MATT
Take
it... I'm not even that much of a fan
TRACY
Put it
back in your pocket now!
MATT
Hear
me out, please. I know that you live and breath STAR WARS, or at least you did
until recently. And you have been looking forward to this movie forever. Just
let me do you this favor...
He
holds out the ticket
TRACY
Are
you serious?
MATT
Yeah,
take it. It's yours
TRACY
takes it and kisses MATT excitedly on the cheek
TRACY
Thank
you! I love you so much!
She
runs to the TICKET TEARER
MATT
(softly)
I love
you, too...
He
begins to walk out of the theater. TRACY doesn't give the TICKET TEARER her
ticket
TRACY
Wait a
second
MATT
turns around
MATT
What
are you waiting for?
TRACY
I was
just...
MATT
(smiles)
Please,
go enjoy the movie. I will meet you at the diner
TRACY
(beat)
I
can't
MATT
Why
not?
TRACY
I just
can't... This is the first good thing that has happened to me all day
(tears
develop)
And I
don't feel right accepting it
MATT
Don't
cry...
He
walks over to TRACY and holds her
MATT
Stop
crying
(beat)
Listen...
The only reason I gave you my ticket was because I am...
TRACY
Hopelessly
in love with me... I know
MATT
(shocked)
I...
what?
TRACY
I know
that you like me... I've known for a while...
MATT
Why...
why...didn't you...?
TRACY
Because
I wasn't comfortable with it. I figured if I just forgot about it or didn't
think about it, it wouldn't exist. Kind of like the right status of my
popularity. I just wanted to fit in for once...
(beat)
I know
you are embarrassed that I know, but don't be. Believe me, it's always really
obvious when a guy like you likes a girl...
MATT
rolls his eyes
TRACY
That
didn't help, did it? Um... It won't hinder our relationship at all if it's any
consolation
MATT
I
don't know what to say
TRACY
Don't
say anything. Just take your ticket and go see the movie... and don't worry
about your feelings for me. Pursuing them would be the worst possible thing for
you to do at this point in your life. I'm nothing but bad luck
MATT
Stop
it
TRACY
It's
the truth. Go watch the movie
MATT
begins to laugh under his breath
MATT
You
want to hear something funny?
TRACY
What?
MATT
Well,
it's more on the pathetic and hopelessly romantic side, but here goes. The only
reason I ever picked up a copy of STAR WARS to watch was so I could have
something to talk to you about. You were so into it last year when I met you I
needed something to get on your good side so I bought all three and watched
them over and over again until I was a expert in it. I also did it because I
knew that one day we would go to see the next...first installment on the holy
trilogy together
Unanimous
cheering at random. The opening credit theme to STAR WARS is hear blasting
through the building. MATT looks at his watch... It is 12:00PM
MATT
And
now it's too late for that
He
tears his ticket up and throws it into the air
TRACY
I
can't believe you just did that!
MATT
I
promised myself I would spend this evening with you...Will you do me the honor?
TRACY
cracks a smile
CUT TO:
INT.
DINER - NIGHT
TRACY
and MATT sit together inside of a diner from the very beginning of the movie.
They are already mid conversation
MATT
So he
took a swing at him with the sword and he hit a shelf above him... The shelf
came crashing down him...
Tracy
laughs hysterically
MATT
(CONT'D)
We ran
as fast we could. We picked up the gas and jetted. It was a very strange
night...
TRACY
Yeah
MATT
That
was my story. Your turn!
TRACY
No...I
don't want to depress you
MATT
It
won't depress me. Hell, I'm depressed enough that you knew I was in love with
you. Nothing can be worse than that
TRACY
toys with the silverware on the table
TRACY
My day
was just bad. It was just one of those days
MATT
looks at her confused
TRACY
You
know... "One of those days"...when everything that can possibly go
wrong, does. Have you every had one of those days?
(beat)
Let me
rephrase that. Have you ever had one of those days on the day that you thought
would be the most significant day of your life?
(beat)
I'm
sure you have. It happens to everyone at least once during at one point of our
dreary little life on this planet. Something always goes wrong at the worst
possible. Life is strange like that
A
WAITRESS comes over to the booth and gives her a plate of Belgian waffles with
a scoop of vanilla ice cream on it
TRACY
(to WAITRESS)
Thank
you
(to
MATT)
So
what I was saying was, don't ever expect anything to go right. Nothing ever
does. That’s the best advice I can give you
MATT
Did
something happen between you and Keith?
TRACY
Me and
Keith?
MATT
Yeah...
Aren't you two going out?
TRACY
Ew...
Hell no. I would never go out with him
MATT
is very relieved, but shows it in a very subtle manner
MATT
So
what did happen?
TRACY
Let's
just say I a lot of things happen to me, followed by an extremely depressing
epiphany that makes me feel even worse
MATT
Have I
helped at all?
TRACY
Actually
you have. I am enjoying myself a tad more now that you are with me
MATT
A tad?
TRACY
Take
it or leave it
DEV,
SAM, MATT, ANDREW, MARK, and JUAN enter the diner
DEV
(as
MACE WINDU)
But
who was the apprentice!?!
MATT
Hey,
Dev!
TRACY
Don't
say anything about the movie. I plan heavily on seeing tomorrow
MATT
Me too
DEV
Whatever...
TRACY
takes her last bite of her Belgian waffle and gets up
TRACY
(mouth
full)
I'm
taking Matt home
(swallows)
Would've
stayed longer but It's two plus already. Got school tomorrow
SAM
Good
night, Tray
TRACY
See
you tomorrow
Everyone
waves 'bye' to MATT and TRACY as they walk to the door. MATT holds the door for
TRACY as they exit the diner. DEV and ANDREW take the seats once taken by MATT
and TRACY respectively
DEV
(sigh;
rubs eyes)
Well...
ANDREW
They
seem happy don't they?
JUAN
A
little too happy if you ask me
DEV
We
didn't ask you
SAM
(yawns)
Ugh...I
don't want to go to school tomorrow
DEV
None
of us do
A T.V
set is turned on in the diner. It is running a news program. The REPORTER
stands outside a burning building
REPORTER
(V.O)
The
gas station attendant was found a few meters away, luckily he wasn't too badly
injured...
SAM
cuddles against MARK; MARK wraps his arm around SAM
ANDREW
Maybe
I'm going blind, or crazy but I could've sworn that you guys were on the fritz
SAM
Nope...
we are closer than ever if anything
DEV
(mocking
SAM)
Blah,
Blah, Blah... let's all pretend we care about their perfect relationship. Who
wants to talk about the movie?
MARK
I'm up
for that. Who's up first?
JUAN
I'll
go last!
ANDREW
Does
that answer our question?
JUAN
(embarrassed)
...No
DEV
Exactly
(beat)
Well,
I guess since you are all chicken, I'll go first
(beat)
It
sucked
MARK
Too
childish
SAM
Cheesy
ANDREW
So
boring!
JUAN
IT
RULED!!!
They
all look at him
JUAN
Especially
Jar Jar Binks, and the Gungans... And only three more years till 'EPISODE
TWO'!! Yeah!!
JUAN
begins to sing the STAR WARS theme out of tune
CUT TO:
EXT.
OUTSIDE OF MATT'S HOUSE - NIGHT
TRACY'S
car pulls up to MATT'S house. They both get out of the car and walk to the door
TRACY
I had
a wonderful evening
MATT
Me too
TRACY
I know
this may sound too cliché... But we should seriously hang out more often, Matt
MATT
Yeah
TRACY
Well
(beat)
Good
night
She
turns to leave
MATT
I have
just one question
TRACY
turns around
TRACY
What's
on your mind?
She
walks back to MATT
MATT
Who
told you about me liking you?
TRACY
(giggles)
Do you
even have to ask?
MATT
Juan!
TRACY
(smiles;
beat)
Is
there stillroom in your limo for the prom, Matt?
MATT
My
limo, yeah. For one more...
TRACY
I know
you wouldn't mind, but...
MATT
You
are more than welcome to join us. Dev and Andrew won't give you any lip, they
owe me one, so don't worry about them
TRACY
Are
you sure?
MATT
Yeah,
definitely
TRACY
Thank
you so much, Matt
(awkward
pause)
I
should get going, Matt. It's been a very long day, and...
MATT
Yeah
(beat)
Good
Night, Trace
TRACY
Good
night, Matt. Tomorrow, at four 'o' clock!
MATT
Can't
wait
TRACY
Bye!
She
walks to her car and gets inside. She turns to MATT and waves as she drives
O.S. MATT goes into his house
FADE OUT...
At the
perfect time for the credits to roll...
FADE IN:
INT.
DEV'S HOUSE - DAY
A tape
gets pushed into a VCR
JUAN
steps back from a TV and sits in between DEV and ANDREW on DEV'S futon facing
the CAMERA
DEV
I
can't believe you are making us watch this
JUAN
Oh,
calm down. It will be great
ANDREW
Juan,
if we hated it in the theaters we aren't going to like it on bootleg!
JUAN
Well,
my VCR isn't working so I'm stuck watching it here. If you don't want to watch
it then you don't have to...
DEV
(thinking)
Well...
actually. I want to see what my fifty dollars went toward
JUAN
gets a little scared
ANDREW
And I
want to see what risking my life to steal gas was for...
JUAN
gets even more scared
JUAN
(terrified)
Well...
Let's watch
He
presses play on a remote control. The movie that is on the TV is horrible
quality and from what you can distinguish has nothing to do with STAR WARS as
all. DEV turns his head to JUAN. A beat later ANDREW turns his head to JUAN.
JUAN is actually enjoying what he is watching until he realizes that DEV and
ANDREW are watching him. He turns to DEV, then he turns to ANDREW. He slowly
turns to the CAMERA with a face of extreme fear. He knows that he has done, and
he knows the repercussions
IRIS
OUT
THE
END