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DAWSONS FREAK 15rated IN
DAWSONS BEDROOM Joey
comes in through the window. Dawson is on his bed looking at the TV Dawson – oh hey Joey! Look I rented out some movies for us
to watch Joey – taking a trip on the wild side huh? Dawson – I got “Jurassic Park for the 100th
time! It’s our anniversary! Look I made it a little cake and all! After all,
it’s my all time favourite, and also I got one of my personal favourites,
“T2”! Joey – great. Dawson
puts the tapes down Dawson – what’s wrong? Joey – don’t you think this is a little bit…weird? Dawson – what do you mean? Joey – Dawson don’t be a moron. Think of what we’ve
been through! All of it! And then suddenly out of the blue that is all thrown
out the window and its back to Dawson’s room I go, so excuse me for finding
this whole set up a little bit weird. Dawson – Joey… Joey – no don’t even say anything I’ll only get upset. Joey
gets up Joey – I…I like you again Dawson! She
crawls around and grabs hold of Dawson’s arm that is hanging off of the bed Joey – I think I love you Dawson! Please! Please! We have
to get back together! And besides we’re loosing our audience! Dawson – audience? Joey – we’re the perfect couple! Please Dawson I don’t
know whether I can cope much longer with this stupid tip-toe plot!!!!! Dawson
shakes her free Dawson – Joey! Joey – I’m sorry but the fact of the matter is that
anyone could see over the past few years that I couldn’t think about anything
other than you! I always go on about you! Ask anyone! Dawson – Joey…we’re not getting back together Joey – oh comon! Please! I’ll kill myself if y… Dawson – JOEY I’M GAY! Joey
looks up Joey – whaaaaat? Dawson – I’m gay ok! He
gets up and turns away from her Joey – well how long has this been going on? Dawson – since I was born I guess. I…I’ve been closet
gay since then. Joey – I can’t believe what I’m hearing! Dawson how
could you do this to me! Dawson – what?! Joey – You know I can’t think about anyone but myself!
WHAT AM I GONNA DO NOW! She
leaves through the window and rows home on her little canoe thingy JOEYS
HOME Joey
is on the couch Joey – I’ll be ok…I’ll be fine. I don’t need him.
I mean… The
phone rings, she picks it up Joey – oh great the phone rings just as I was about to go
into a hugely long speech about my unhappiness! Joey – hello? Voice – hello Joey Joey -…Hi? Voice – what are you doing? Joey – who is this? Voice – who do you want it to be? Joey – sigh, Dawson Leery. But I know its not because that would shorten
the plot and anyway he’d only end up upsetting me. I know it’s you Pacey. Voice – nice guess. Try again Joey – look I’m getting bored. I have to dwell in
self-pity some more. Good-bye Voice – DON’T HANG UP ON ME! She
hangs up Joey – weird…reminds me of a film…Yell. Shout. Scr…Screech
that was it. Screech. Now. Where was I? Oh yeah. OOOOOH WOAAH IS MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
DAWSON DOESN’T LOVE ME! Boo hoo! Phone
rings, she
picks it up quickly Joey – listen you’re ruining the plot! Voice – no you listen you little bitch! You hang up on me
again and I’ll gut you like a fish! Understand?! Joey – oh please now that’s just stealing material. At
least make some up of your own, I mean how am I supposed to emotionally cope
with all that’s just been happening if my crank caller who will undoubtedly
unroll to be a major part in my unhappiness if he cant even get some original
material? Voice – don’t you ever shut up? Joey
is taken aback Joey – um…no ones ever said that to me, what does it
mean? Voice – IT MEANS THAT IF YOU DON’T STOP TALKING AND LET
SOMEONE ELSE SPEAK FOR ONCE I AM GOING TO JUST GET THE JOB DONE AND KILL YOU
RIGHT NOW! Joey – ooh. Ok then. Voice – do you have a boyfriend? Joey – don’t expect me to say no because then you’ll
ask me out and then I’ll have a lesser plot if I’m not Dawson’s potential
love! Voice – Turn on the porch light Joey – why? What has that gotta do with me? Voice – CAN YOU STOP THINKING ABOUT YOURSELF FOR ONE
MINUTE! AND JUST TURN ON THE DAMNED LIGHT Joey – ok ok jeez you seem stressy, She
turns on the porch light. Pacey is tied up and gagged Joey – Pacey!!! She
unlocks the porch door Voice – I wouldn’t do that if I were you She
locks it again and starts to cry Joey – please! Let him go! Voice – I thought you didn’t care about anyone but
yourself and Dawson Wipes
her eyes Joey – I don’t! I don’t! I don’t care about Pacey! Voice – oh please everyone knows that you love him really Joey – sniffs no I don’t!!! You take that back! Voice – I wanna play a little game Joey – no….no I cant! I wont! Noooo! Voice – comon! It’s a little trivia game, I’ll even
give you a starter question Joey – no….no I cant please, please don’t do this! Voice – comon, yes you can. First question, What is
Andie’s second name? Joey – I don’t know! Andie isn’t even a significant
character. I’m the star! Why should I care about her? Voice – Paceys’ counting on you She
calms down Joey – McPhee. Andie McPhee Voice – YES! Now! For the real question Joey – nooooo! Voice – but your doing so well! Here it is Joey
bawls like a small child Voice – what is Paceys hairstyle at the moment Joey…sh…Short, he’s almost bald! Voice – I’m sorry! That’s the wrong answer! Joey – NO IT’S NOT! ITS NOT I SEE HIM EVERYDAY! Voice – then you should know that PACEY’S hair is still
long, but Joshua Jackson’s hair is very short! Joey
is stunned Joey – Joshua who? Voice – just shut up and listen The
sound of a throat being slit is on the phone Joey – NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! She
starts bawling again Voice – hehehehehehhhahahahahahaaaaaa! Joey – just leave, please, leave me alone! Voice – ok Joey
is completely stunned Joey – what? Voice – ok I’ll leave you alone if you want Joey – W…….she dries her eyes …….What? Why? Voice – YAAAWN I’m bored see ya He
hangs up Joey – no! Damnit get back here! I am the star of this
show and I deserve a bigger story-line then that! HOW DO YOU THINK THIS IS GONNA
AFFECT MY EMOTIONAL STATE! She
slams the phone down Joey – damn, a perfectly good
reason for me to be the centre of attention again, and that little asshole
blew it for me! The
doorbell rings Joey – whoooo.s there? Pacey from outside – Potter let me in! Joey – Pacey? She
rushes to the front door and opens it Pacey – hey Potter you ok? I heard yelling Joey – You asshole! She hits him I thought you were dead! Pacey – huh? Potter you need to read the label before you
take the pills ok? Why all the yelling Joey – oh, just some psycho trying to screw with me He
lets himself in and has his back to her but facing the camera, Joey squints her
eyes Joey – oooooooh! Pacey have a told you recently that I
hate you? Pacey – frequently actually, but you know you love me
really baby Joey – Uh! Gulps no I don’t! I…..I hate you! He
grabs her Pacey – comon Potter let the old Pacey man get some
loving! I mean we have all found out that Dawson isn’t a member of the
heterosexual persuasion so what have you got to lose? Joey – Pacey get off of me! The
doorbell rings, Joey slaps Pacey Pacey – OW! Jesus Potter! She
opens the door to Dawson, when she sees him she flings her arms around him Joey – Oh Dawson thank god! You have to help me I think
Pacey’s gone crazy! He thinks I love him! I mean hehe….wh…..what a
hehe what a stupid thing to……think? He he’s crazy! You know I only
love you I’m telling you he’s crazy! Dawson – we all go a little crazy sometimes Joey
backs off, she bumps into Pacey Pacey – in the voice of the stalker surprise Joey! Joey – uh! No! No this cant be happening! Dawson – oh comon Joey all you ever wanted was to be the
main focus of our lives. This could mean a real attention magnet for you! Joey
thinks for a while and then shakes it off Joey – no! No! Dawson!
No not you! We were supposed to be together Dawson
gets out a knife and plays with it. Pacey laughs insanely Pacey - advancing on Joey as well as Dawson But Dawson! You’re supposed to
be the lovely innocent young boy that every mother would love her daughter to
meet! Joey – But Pacey, he was outside, I…I heard him get his
throat cut! They
are now all in the kitchen, Joey in backed up against the sink with tears
streaming down her face. Dawson and Pacey block the entrances of the kitchen. Dawson – Oh comon Potter your not that stupid! All it took
was a little bag full of water and Jell-O! Joey – Why! Why Pacey! Dawson – hehe hear that man? I think our little Josephine
potter wants a motive Pacey – hmm. Puts the knife in her face
why? WHY? Joey
is startled Dawson – Well I for one couldn’t stand it that you kept
crawling into my room when I was busy watching my Steven speilburg films and I
didn’t even get any! Not even once! I me.. Pacey – Shut up Dawson! Dawson
giggles to himself as Pacey puts the knife right up to Joeys face Pacey – here’s why Potter. Throughout all the years that
I’ve known you I was supposed to annoy you, but everyone knows you have the
hots for me. And to be honest Potter, even the slightest chance that you and me
could get together would devastate me. How could I cope with sentence after
sentence of pointless, meaningless conversations? ALWAYS about you. I just
couldn’t hack it. So killing you would be much safer Dawson – AAAAAH AHHAHAHA! Pacey – that’s your motive Potter Joey – You’re not going to get away with this asshole Pacey – um? Excuse me? AssHOLE? PLURAL POTTER! WHAT ABOUT
DAWSON? HUH! Joey – well Dawson is obviously under some kind of spell
because he is the love of my life and I can’t emotionally cope without him
and… Dawson – GOD DAMNIT WILL YOU SHUT THE HELL UP! Joey
is shocked Joey – hunny bunny? What’s wrong? Dawson – Ok. The only reason I went out with you is
because I thought I would get some! Not even once! Joey – no it’s not true! You loved me! Dawson – no way man! Joey – look Dawson! Look at yourself! Pacey – SHUT THE FUCK UP! Dawson
and Joey are shocked Dawson – er…Pacey, this is before the watershed man Joey – What? Pacey – THAT’S IT!!!! Pacey
whips around and cuts Dawson across the chest Dawson – AAAAAGH! Jesus man! You cut me you dick! Joey – Dawson!!! Pacey - pointing the knife at Dawson Pacey – shut the fuck up man! Dawson - in pain – Ahh…..The watershed Pacey…….the watershed…. Pacey
makes another go for Dawson who is on the sideboard clutching his chest. But
Dawson gets out his knife and slashes Pacey across his arm Pacey - AAAAAGH!!!! Joey – your…….your both psychotic! Dawson weakly – hehe yeah, well sshhhhhh Pacey
and Dawson continue to stab each other for a while before Pacey remembers Joey Pacey weakly
– ohk ok ok…….th….this is stupid, lets do what we came here to do ok
man? Dawson weakly – ok…. He
turns around, Joey is gone Dawson – err….we have a problem. Joey is gone Pacey!
Where d’she go? Pacey – BITCH! You can’t hide from us! DAMN YOU! The
phone rings, Dawson and Pacey are startled, Dawson picks up the phone Dawson – what? Voice – hello babycakes Dawson – BITCH!!! WE’LL FIND YOU! Voice – I wanna play a little game first, its called
DON’T SCREW AROUND WITH MY MAIN PLOT! Suddenly
Joey comes out of the closet with a knife and stabs Dawson in the back. He falls
over on his chest and blood comes from underneath him. Pacey rushes in and makes
a clumsy grab for her, he cuts her in the shoulder but Joey ducks and Pacey
falls over onto the floor. Joey then realises she left the knife in Dawson so
gets an umbrella and sticks it through Pacey Joey breathing
deeply
– I’M the main role assholes. I’m ALWAYS the CENTRE of ATTENTION! The
doorbell rings, its Andie Andie – Joey!!! Let me in! Joey
opens the door Andie – Jesus what happened? Joey – these dicks tried to steal my main role She
pokes Pacey with her foot Andie – Pacey and Dawson? Ah, figures. I mean Pacey had to
have something wrong with him to not wanna go out with ME anymore! Are you sure
they’re dead? They
both wait for a while, nothing happens Joey in one of her side-smiles – I’m sure Andie, this
isn’t the movies, where’s Jack and Jen? Andie – they’re out back waiting, comon let’s get
outta here They
leave and close the door. A few seconds later Dawson splutters and comes round,
he reaches behind him and pulls the knife from his back, he drags himself over
to Pacey and pulls out the umbrella Dawson – Pacey…Pacey wake up man He
shakes him Dawson – Pacey?….comon man stop screwing around your
scaring me……Pacey? Dawson
chews on Pacey’s ear like in the Lion King, Pacey still does not move.
He is dead Dawson – noooooooooo!!!!!!! It’s all my fault! OUTSIDE Joey
is sitting on an ambulance with a blanket around her and a pad on her shoulder,
Andie is with her and Jack and Jen have just appeared. There are Policemen
around that have just arrived and are about to go into the house Andie– your gonna be ok? Joey – yeah, I’ll be fine. Although I’m not sure how I
will be able to cope with this afterward, I mean my sentences are gonna get
longer as a result of this trauma…. Andy
walks off leaving Joey to ramble in the background, she meets Jen Jen – Hey Andie, how is she? Andie – rambling as always Jen
has a love bite Andy – where did you get that? Jack
appears Jack – hey Jen
smiles Andy – ooooooh nonononon, Jack wait you’re….you…..
what’s going on? Jack – hey I had to save my plot! Being gay was fun for a
while but it tends to get old. Jen
giggles like a slut INSIDE
THE HOUSE Dawson
has managed to get up and goes to the front door. He sheds a tear at the sight
of Pacey and sighs, then stumbles out the back door and into the woods Dawson – don’t worry Pacey my love, I will avenge your
death, you’ll see… END. END MUSIC PLAYS “BOUND 4 DA RELOAD” BY OXIDE AND
NEUTRINO CAST Dawson
Leery
Seymour Butts Pacey Witter
Hugh
jazz Jen
Lindley
Amanda
Hugandkiss Jack
McPhee
Mike
Rutch Andie
McPhee
Ivana
Tinkle EXTRAS Agatha
Wheeler
“Foxy”
Coxy William
Baker
Tulip Horton The
characters and story line in this film are not based on real people and any
similarities are completely coincidence. No harm was meant to anyone by the
production of this film. äÓGRAEVI
DAVE PRODUCTIONS 2000 All
rights reserved
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