Chapter 7
minus 76 days
Wufei was practising some light katas in the garden. Or rather he was trying to. No matter how much he tried, he couldn't make them right. He stopped, not even finishing the series he had tried to perform. If I can't do them just right, there is no point of doing them at all. Okay, I just relax and meditate. But he could not do that either. He felt too hot and itchy all over and he couldn't control his too quick heart rate. He was now extremely irritated and when he added the mental image of how ridiculous he must look like he just lost it. He felt like he could punch something. He looked at the small greenhouse at the end of the garden. Without much thought, he went closer and picked a stone. And threw it in a one of the many windows of the greenhouse. He stopped only when there was no whole windows in the little house. Sally was looking for Wufei and arrived just to see the last window to brake and collapse in shards. Sally immediately took Wufei's arm and dragged him away from the threatening shards. She sat down on the grass and pulled Wufei to sit next to her.
"Okay, what's wrong?"
Maybe she would finally get Wufei to open up...
"It's that.." Wufei swallowed. "It's that I feel like I'm not a part of myself anymore... I mean... My body is stranger to me. I feel like this is a dream or that I'm in a wrong body. I didn't ask for this! They took me against my will, they implanted the thing in me, they restrained me when I tried... " He swallowed.
"It's okay, Wufei. I know you tried to kill the baby and ..yourself."
"Oh. They- they watched me all the time. You watch me all the time. You fear that I'm gonna do.. something... But I will not! I wasn�t thinking then, I.."
"Wufei", Sally interrupted him gently. "Think about it. You were eating hormones that affected your mood seriously. You still are. It was not your fault."
"I'm huge, I'm ugly, I can't even do my katas anymore! My feet are swollen and I'm tired all the time. I don't want this! I have stretch marks, for god sake! They made this and now they are gone and I am still here!" Wufei let it all out, first time since his rescue.
Sally listened calmly, nodding and pointing to herself that Wufei still called the baby a "thing".
"Have you thought at all what are you gonna do when the baby is born. It's entirely up to you, you decide and no-one else."
Wufei wiped his eyes. "It goes to adoption. I don't even want to see it. No way. I didn't ask it, I don't want it."
"Oh."
Somehow Sally had thought that Wufei would think that the honourable thing would be to keep the child. In any other situation, she would have believed Wufei's statements by default, but she knew how screwed up the hormones were making him.
"Are you sure? You know that genetically the baby is half yours and as healthy as I can determinate at this point."
"Yes. This whole thing has taken an almost entire year from me and I don't let it take a day more than is absolutely necessary."
Sally sighed. So he has been thinking about this and he's made his decision. For now.
"Can I tell the others?"
"No. Don't tell them just yet."
Wufei wiped his eyes and got himself together. "I tell them myself . But not just yet
minus 74 days
Wufei was munching his breakfast down in late afternoon. The others were obviously up to something but he was not in the mood to guess what it was. Duo, Quatre and Trowa were holding their smirks, waiting for something. That something was Heero, who arrived in the kitchen carrying something small that looked like a two piece communication radio. He put it on the table in front of Wufei.
"What's that supposed to be?"
The others were grinning like idiots. No, correct that, Quatre was smiling and Duo was grinning like an idiot. Heero just stayed silent, looking others in a way that told them that he had done his part and now it was their turn. Duo stepped forward and continued.
"It's a baby monitor! It was Quatre's idea and Heero made it! Now you have the honour to be an owner of the world's first military type baby monitor!"
Wufei stared at them. Finally he spoke in a restrained voice.
"What the fuck you think you are doing? If you thought even a second that I'm going to keep it, you were wrong!"
He stood up as quickly as he could manage and hurried away, leaving the stunned boys stare behind him.
Half an hour later Duo hesitantly knocked on Wufei's door and, when receiving no answer, stepped in.
"You are not keeping it? For sure?"
He could not stay angry at Duo for long.
"No, I'm not going to keep it, for sure", he answered tiredly. "It's not my place to try to took care of something I might not be able to love."
"But... How do you know that?"
Somehow he felt that he was required to give Duo an honest answer.
"They say that a mother loves the child even before it's born." He gulped. This was hard. "Well, I can feel it, but I can�t say I love it. And I don�t want to. So don't keep your hopes up that I would somehow fall in love with it as soon as I see it, because I'm planning not to see it at all."
Duo had hard time not to look as sad and disappointed as he felt. He had this crazy dream, where Wufei would need help taking care of the child and he would step in the life of Chang Wufei, in the whole meaning of the word. A crazy dream, now gone.
"That's...That's sad. But it's your decision and I -we honour it. You know that if you ever need somebody to talk to, if you ever feel bad, you can come to me."
He took Wufei's hand in his own to stress what he was saying.
"Thanks, Duo. I remember that."
Chapter 8
minus 36 days
The days passed by and Wufei didn't even go outside anymore. He was tired all the time, but he couldn�t care. It felt like his body had taken over, saying, First you sleep and eat something, and then I let you worry about life. He had no desire to leave the house. The others felt obligated to cheer him up and keep him company always when out of missions. The scientists had made a silent agreement with Sally Po that Wufei would not be bothered about, they having his full medical history. Sally didn't want to know what they planned to do with it.
Wufei was sitting comfortably in a huge armchair, reading "The Physiology of Taste " in the original language, France. Duo was doing something with paper. After Duo had been messing with the colourful paper over half an hour, Wufei finally asked what he was doing.
"I try to make origami's. I even have a book to guide me, but... Probably there is something wrong with the instructions."
Wufei chuckled.
"Sure there is... Let me look."
He opened the book and studied a while a rather easy model, a horse. After that, he closed the book, took a sheet of brown paper from Duo and folded a neat beautiful paper horse in few seconds. He continued to make something more challenging, while Duo went to pick up small scissors. When Wufei was finished his two-colour fire dragon that stood on it's own legs, Duo had made a long strip of paper full of exactly same silhuettes of gundam deathscythe.
"What's that?"
Duo looked at him.
"What you mean what's that? This is... I don't know what exactly it's name is, but they are made as decoration for children's parties."
He quieted for a second. Wufei probably had never been in one. Then he smirked again.
"I bet you don't know how to make "snowflakes" either! First you take a white paper..."
Wufei was having fun. This was really quite enjoyable way to pass time, cutting tiny pieces of the folded paper and making every time a different looking snowflake. He was laughing for something Duo had said when he suddenly felt a great pain in his abdomen. Duo was immediately alerted from the sudden quietness of his friend.
"Wufei, are you Ok? What's wrong?"
"I'm.. Okay.."
Wufei had to shut his eyes because the stabbing pain. Duo was not fooled a second.
"SALLY! HEERO! QUATRE! SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH WUFEI!"
Duo felt helpless, watching tears slowly run in Wufei's cheeks. Sally took one look in Wufei and went to call an ambulance.
Wufei was rushed in a small private hospital and taken straight to the surgery, where they stopped a small internal bleeding. His blood was tested again and they find out that all Wufei's organs were pushed in their limits to maintain the state Wufei was in. He was ordered in complete bed-rest for the rest of the pregnancy, witch took four weeks.
When Wufei woke up, he was -not a surprise there-, pissed. The last month in bed? Were they kidding? Could he at least spend the time in the house, in his own bed and not this god awful hospital room?
minus 31 days
Arrangements were made for Wufei to return to the house as soon as possible. He didn't move back to his own room, since the stairs in there were too steep, in everyone's (except Wufei's) opinion. His new room was much closer to the kitchen and living room. And bathroom. He was ordered to spend his time in bed, were the others brought him tons of books, CD's, Play Station 8 and a laptop. Heero had actually went and bought him one, with a wireless internet connection. Duo was kind of jealous of Heero for thinking that first. The boys also spent a lot of their time in Wufei's new room. This morning he was reading when he heard somebody coming in.
"Trowa? What's up?"
He was surprised to see that Trowa had come in alone. Trowa stood before him his hands in his pockets.
"I had come here to ask you something. It's for me and Quatre. actually, but I decided to come alone in case you say no. You decided to give the child to adoption, yes?"
Trowa got Wufei's full attention.
He continued. "We, Quatre and I, are a couple, you know that. Would you consider giving the child to us to adopt?"
The words were rushed. Wufei could not remember the last time he had seen Trowa uncertain.
"But.. You are seventeen. And there is a war still going on... "
"I know, I know. But me and Quatre are going to spend the rest of our lives together. The war is ending, I can feel it in the air. We could take leave of absence for awhile and then two of Quatre's sisters would take care of him and then we would be right back and... Please?"
"I have to think about it. Give me a couple of days, okay?"
"Okay, thanks."
Trowa left the room relieved. At least he didn't say no right there. He knew he should give Wufei time to decide, but it was hard, hoping and fearing so much in the same time. He knew that Duo had at least thought the same thing, adoption, a moment, but Trowa knew what Duo's feelings were towards Wufei and that if Duo would take an interest towards the child he would loose Wufei forever. Trowa also knew he had put Wufei in a really tough situation. If he said no, the relations between him, Trowa and Quatre would probably never be the same. If he said yes, he was in a risk of either fell in a situations where he would be forced to meet his biological child or to alienate himself for the rest of them to avoid doing so.
Left alone, Wufei buried his face in his hands. What I am going to do?
minus 7 hours
The four waiting young men crowded the little private waiting room with their presence. They had actually joked about this beforehand, but in the real situation they behaved just like in all those stereotypical stories about fathers in waiting rooms. Duo paced, Quatre tried to busy himself by getting everyone stacked with coffee and snacks. When not negotiating with the vending machine, he stared at Trowa, who stared back. Heero tried to concentrate on "New York Times Sunday Crossword Puzzles All Time Favourites" in his laptop.
The delivery went as good as it would have in the situation. Sally had recommended
Wufei to choose the operation to be done in a local anesthetic, where the risks were at minimum. Wufei had choose it to be done in total anesthesia. He just wanted to fall asleep and then later wake up. Period.
Sally was with the surgery team the whole time, officially to make sure that information about the surgery would not leak, but she felt that the real reason was because Wufei wanted somebody he trusted to be there.
Zero
She was the first to hold the tiny baby girl, all pink with dark brown eyes and fuzzy black hair. She might not be 100% from Asian ancestors, but she sure looked like it. She kissed her forehead.
"Welcome to the world, sweety. "
She didn't want to give her to the nurse, but it was necessary and she knew that telling the good news would be almost as fun as holding her. She changed to normal clothes and went to see the boys.
"You can all relax now, both Wufei and the baby girl are fine."
plus 6 hours
Duo found Quatre crying in a waiting room.
"Why are you crying? Everything is well. Have you seen the girl? She is beautiful, looks just like her father.. Sorry."
"That's why I'm crying for. I'm so afraid. She is so beautiful and helpless and perfect and looks just like Wufei. What if he decides to keep her anyway? It's his right."
Duo hugged the crying blond.
"Wufei refused to see her. He has no emotional ties for her and he won't even see her at all. Just take her home, Quatre.
"You don't understand. The law says that the parents have a month to change their minds, and they got it even if they don't want it. It's for the protection of the biological parents, that they would not regret a hasty decision later. So now me and Trowa have to wait a month before we can be absolutely sure that she will be our child. I try not to get too emotionally attached to her, but I already love her... "
"Oh, Quatre..." Duo tried to comfort him. "I swear that when Wufei says he won't take her away, he really means it."
Duo knocked on Wufei's private room and entered. Wufei was sleeping and Duo could not make himself to wake him. Not that he would have been hesitant to wake him, but it was so much easier for him, Duo, to just let him sleep. He had forced himself to come and face Wufei and now he had did it, never mind that he let himself escape from the confrontation by not disturbing Wufei's sleep. He took a moment to steal the image of peace in Wufei's face. Then he took in the surroundings. Roses. Dozens and dozens of red, perfect roses. Quatre didn't sent them. Sally didn't sent them. He, Heero or Trowa didn't sent them. Red roses...
"Oh, FUCK!"
Chapter 9
Duo rushed out from the hospital and to the parking lot. He paced aroud, trying to decide what to do. Did the others notice? If they did, I would have heard it by now. Wufei doesn't know, and if it would be up to me, he would never find out.
Duo stopped. Wait a minute... There was no card, no mysterious phone call, no tanks and helicopters. We weren't supposed to notice. Maybe it was only a gesture and not a threat. So it really was up to him to tell Wufei, -or, not. 'Fei wouldn't want to hear it. Right? He would just keep his mouth shut and keep an eye on situation. He would tell Trowa when (if, a little voice in Duo's head chirped nervously.) the adoption would be clear. If this thing blows up, the others will kill me. Let them. I'm protecting Wu here.
Two weeks after the operation Wufei was released from the hospital. The baby girl stayed there in the small private hospital, officially in the custody of the social service. The pilots had at first feared that the actual gender of the "mother" could have leaked, but money had power everywhere, especially in the hospital that had a word "Winner" in it's name. Quatre and Trowa stayed at the hospital, practically living in the same room with the baby. Duo and, to both Wufei's and Duo's surprise, Heero kept close company on Wufei at all times. Wufei felt empty, sad and relieved. He admitted to himself that he felt like something was missing. He knew it was partially because he had no more the enormous amount of extra hormones in his bloodstream. I have the baby blues but without the baby. He was so depressed that he had given in for Sally's and Duo's pressure and kept the antidepressive medication going for the time being.
Duo almost had a nervous breakdown because of the roses. As the roses dried and were cleaned away and nothing else showed up, he let himself to breathe again. No one else had noticed anything out of the ordinary and he was tempted to just label it as a over-creative imagination. Still he felt like balancing on a wire. One more reason to tell Trowa. Bad joke, bad joke...
Wufei lived quietly for the two weeks it took to wait the "second thought period" to end. He packed away the loose clothes and after that they just disappeared -Duo suspected probably by Heero�s actions-. Wufei cleaned the house of every extra medication bottle he could find. He cut his hair, witch had grown over length in nine months, so the ponytail was only few inches again. The final day to change his mind came and went without any notification. Well, except from Duo, who disappeared for that day. He was sorry that he could not be there for Wufei that day, but he knew that he could not have been able to keep the accuse out off his eyes. Wufei did never ask himself, What if? What if he had kept it? He had forbidden the question from himself both conscious and subconscious level.
Quatre and Trowa named the girl Hope Daisy Winner-Barton.
A month later Duo had managed to drag both Wufei and Heero to the mall to buy new CD's and such. Wufei didn't want to go first, but only because he had slept later than usual and were so in the middle of his two hour daily exercise routine. Only when Duo promised to loan Wufei his whole manga collection for "as long as it takes", the three got going.
Sharon was in no hurry. Her shift would start at thirty minutes and that was plenty of time for just to walk around the mall and look at the people. Three young men walked by, chattering. She just had to turn back to look at them. They looked so familiar, particularly that Chinese in black. Former customers? She couldn't be sure. The boys noticed her staring and turned, staring back with a slightly confused but open faces. Sharon blushed.
"I'm sorry.. I thought I knew you. I probably confused you in someone else. Maybe a sister..?""
Suddenly the one with a braid started to laugh.
"No, we don't have any sisters, won't we, 'Fei?"
Sharon got even more confused, and after more apologies, turned and left, shaking her head. She had definitely met them somewhere before, but where?
The three boys rushed away and find a bench where they collapsed to laugh. "Well, that was.. interesting", Duo managed to say between the bursts. After awhile they calmed down and sobered.
"Ok, what now? I vote for all-you can eat- pizza buffet!"
This time, Duo got what he wanted. He wanted pizza. He wanted three teens, secretly gundam pilots, smile and enjoy the day. He got that too. He looked at Wufei who tried to pick the anchovies out of his pizza a concentrated look in his face. Duo knew that everything would be alright.
plus 64 days
OWARI
***** ***** ****** *****
Additional notes:
The point of saying that the father was European was just a way to politically correctly say that he's white. As in not black, native American, Chinese etc.
230 for IQ is HUGE. You probably have never even met a person with a IQ that high. In European IQ scale, you can join MENSA when your IQ is over 145.
Yes, Trowa is seventeen. I like to think that the boys are sixteen in the fanfics, like in the manga. So in period of nine months it's more than possible for him to turn seventeen.
In Finland where I live, the mentioned one-month deciding period before you give a baby to adoption is required by law. I think that is a very good thing.
The name for this fic came from a random CD (How do You Measure a Planet by The Cathering) I happened to listen when finishing this fic, needing something weird in the backround. Yes, I know it sucks to give it a name that has nothing to do with the fic, but it's better than the work title, "The Thing", ne?
As you have maybe noticed, English is not my mother tongue, but because it's easier for me to write in English than you to read Finnish, it's just something we all have to bear;)