And yelled, in an almighty scream,
�Where is my kipper? Oh my word,
The fish has turned into a bird!�
Leaving its cage, the kipper flew
Straight down Manic Avenue,
And flew into a rusty bike
(Or a park bench, if you like).
This bike - or bench, I don�t mind which -
Threw my kipper in the ditch.
The kipper-fish, whose name was Bob,
Turned into a gooey blob.
I swallowed it (for I had run
After my kipper when it done
That thing, you know, that thing it did),
And then the park bench ran and hid.
(Or wheeled, if, as I suppose,
The bicycle your favour shows.)
Fed up of this crazy tale,
I visited inside a whale.
And Jonah there, inside the belly
Of the whale, (both damp and smelly,
The whale, that is, and Jonah too,
He couldn�t leave to - well, you know.)
So anyway, our Jonah lad
Was pleased to see me, oh, so glad.
The whale too, the happy boy,
Puked up on the beach through joy.
(An experience, I�ll make it plain,
I never hope to have again.)
At this point, I bade him farewell,
For I had heard the dinner bell.
And, in the canteen of the school,
I landed in the swimming pool.
The diving teachers, doing flips,
Were soaking all the students� chips.
Bored of this noisy, tiresome place,
I jumped and landed on my face
Among the mermaids, on the sand,
In a crazy water-land.
The mermaids, though, were dull and slow,
So I told them I had to go.
So I swam up to get some air -
Just to find it wasn�t there!
Just water, from the ocean floor,
Continuing for evermore!
At this point I began to fret.
Five minutes without breathing yet.
At this point, oh, for goodness� sake,
I felt myself begin to wake.
My mother said, �Oh darling, please
Lay off of all the late-night cheese!�
