April 2005

30 happy day!

27 l'etranger

26 can you hear that?

22 improper use of a cooking apparatus

20 three blind mice

19 hot damn

13 a good day

13 i really wish

12 oh boy!

11 i know, i know ...

11 preconceived notions, shattered

08 geeks of the world, unite!

07 life sure is swell ...

05 hypocrites and slanderers

05 mmm ... bench warrants

04 sweet transvestite

01 curses!

01 that kat

01 fools

here's the plan: we're going out for dinner with the family and maybe drinks later, then we're off to see the rocky horror picture show with a pack of friends.

it should be a good time.

we may have people over afterwards for drinks but i kind of doubt it will happen. now that we're *old,* i suspect we'll be more than ready for bed after the movie. ehh ... sleepy emma.

does that make us boring? i suppose so.

but that's ok. i get to throw toast tonight! how often does that opportunity present itself?

i've been doing laundry all day. it's one chore i don't really mind. it smells nice in the house.   :D

i should get going. dinner time is almost upon us.

mmmm ... chili's lettuce wraps (minus the chicken flesh). tasty!

i think, "who the hell is this?"  i'd never met this person in my life.  

after looking at him with one eyebrow crooked upwards, he introduces himself.  no, i'm not crazy, we'd never met in person prior to this moment, but we *have* spoken on the phone.  once.  

is there some reason why people *refuse* to acknowledge certain accepted social boundaries?

you see, after that greeting, i'm forced to try to match his friendliness, lest i be considered 'cold.'  heaven forbid.  

'what's cookin'?' ...gods!

*so annoying*

a friendly, "are you emma?" would have been just fine.  

i think i'm kind of irritable today.  i could kill for a cigarette.

that stupid website is *finally* updated.

yes ... despite all that fate threw in front of me, i managed to pull it off.  given the frustration of losing *all* my work at one point, the site is, perhaps, not as beautiful as i'd originally intended.

sooo ... best buy has four new nin songs on their website. i listened, even though i tried to wait until may 3.  *sigh*  like that was going to happen.

holy moley.  i just looked at the bear's top ten list ... i did *not* anticipate wide acceptance of the hand that feeds.  *happy*   :D  there is hope for the world after all.  

gods!  some of the other songs on that list are *freaking* awful.  am i completely un-canadian for despising sloan?  eeesh ...  theory of a deadman is *BAD.*

you know what's annoying?  people who bounce cheques and complain that we've told them they owe us money.  that takes some cheek, man.  particularly when the bounced condo fee is only a hundred and some bucks each month.

our company has decided to sponsor some children through foster parents plan. i just got the information package today.  all six kiddos live in the dominican republic.  jesus, they're cute.  i'm doing up a display wall of sorts.  we'll have their pictures and letters up in the office.

saul williams is awesome.  

ok ... my brain is going into random mode.  i'm going to end this post now and try to get back to work.  

how is it that i hear of this twice in one day? *sigh* 

TWO completely unrelated frying pan attacks occurred at two of my buildings.  bizarre.

idiot number one handed out copies of his keys to every prostitute and homeless person in the neighborhood.  amazingly, one of these women of the night wasn't quite well adjusted and beat him with a frying pan.  he'd also been stabbed by another acquaintance a couple of weeks ago.  nice!  i guess he needs to learn about setting up boundaries: "no, my dear.  although i loved you for a half-hour, i don't think we're ready to move in together."

idiot number two sufficiently angered his wife that she took out her aggression on his head.  with a frying pan.

is this the new weapon of choice for women?  i mean, i remember watching old flintstones cartoons where women in their fur mini-skirts would threaten their men with kitchen equipment violence, but it's not something i'd ever expect to encounter.  never mind twice in one day.  

ahhh, tenants.  this job is nothing if not interesting.

i think i'll get back to work now.  

this has been one of those days. rarg! happily, it's almost over.

stupid account reconciliation problems.

i've been busy. *crazy* busy. mostly because i did an incredibly stupid thing and erased *all* of the work i'd done on my work's website over the past week.  the boss lady is getting antsy, waiting for the new version.  thank god for nepotism.

i've been thinking about getting a second job.  it's not that we're in need of money, really, but maybe there's something i could do that's less stifling than my current job.  according to marlene i have a lot of creative energy inside that's not being used properly and it's clogging up my chakras.  i suspect she's right.  maybe i should volunteer somewhere.  i'll keep my eyes open for any opportunities.

hey!  i had a learning experience last weekend thanks to a good conversation with the kat.  i *hate* how i have to be such a hard ass at work.  as much as i despise many of the people i meet, i empathize with them. when i feel bad for them i try to do what i can to make their pitiful lives work.  after all, i'm in the business of providing shelter.  

the problem with that is i *always* regret it when i act out of pity.  *always without exception*  something happens where either they screw around at a building or i take heat for placing a tenant that doesn't quite meet our income requirements.  *every freaking time.*  needless to say, that has darkened my opinion of people in general.  jaded?  oh yes.  

and i'm happy to say, i've discovered *why* it doesn't work out.

karma, baby!

for whatever reason, the people i try to help aren't *supposed* to be helped.  if i remove consequences *for* them, they aren't going to learn a damned thing.  yes, a lot of these people have had difficult lives, they've had the odds stacked against them and their existences are often as sad as hell ... but for a reason.  

*everyone* has something to learn while here on earth.  maybe they're carrying around bad karma from a past life.  maybe their souls want to learn about something in particular.  i don't know.  but *this* explains a lot. 

you have no idea how this relieves me.  it makes sense.  thank you to the kat and marlene.

what else ... surely i have more to say ....

oh yes.  yesterday i was visited by "urban missionaries."  yep.  two baptist evangelicals from a church down the road.   *sigh*  

they had some questions: "do you believe that the creator (Creator) exists?"  "do you know that when you die, you'll go to heaven?"  "why should God let you in?"  et cetera.  blah.

so, if you didn't already know, i used to attend an evangelical church.  (see here for some of my opinions on that.) i've moved well beyond all of that ... but how do you answer such questions when your view of the Creator isn't exactly anthropomorphic and you believe that heaven isn't quite what christians think it is?  

my first two answers (yes and yes) were fine by them.  but then we got to the last question.  it wasn't quite, "why should God let you in?" it was more, "what would you tell god if he asked why he should let you in?"  

my answer was, "i have no idea."  

because i've been baptized as an adult, they were somewhat taken aback.  you're supposed to get in as long as you love jesus.  i was supposed to know that.  well, maybe no one knows for sure that they love jesus enough.  isn't that possible?  i would think so, especially when you consider that humans have notoriously big egos.  

when they asked, "why don't you know?" all i could say was, "i don't know everything.  no one does."  one of them replied, "everything is in the bible.  the bible is the truth."  *groan*  no, i didn't ask which bible.  i suppose i could have, but i doubt that they would have understood or accepted that the KJV is NOT the "truth."  

in the end they gave me pamphlets like, "would you like to know jesus personally?"  they're in my recycling bin.  it's not for me.  i've seen all of it before.  i'm ok where i am, spiritually.  i'm not terrified of dying - something that i've given serious thought.  

anyway.

my bridesmaid dress fitting was today.  i had *no* idea i'd lost so much weight.  that makes me happy. :D  

afterwards, i went out for lunch with mom and rae.  we went to max's on 109 street.  mmm ... tasty.  mom even tried the tofu pie.  *so good*  

i should get back to work.  i'm avoiding it because it's so bloody depressing redoing all that work. :(

*sad emma*

i've been reworking the company website (it's in *terrible* need of some attention).  bill's buying me some graphics software   :D   (mostly because they don't want to pay a *real* designer to do things, i suspect)

has anyone used xara?  i've been playing with it and done some pretty decent things with it.  and it's fast.  quite fast.  in a former life it was licensed to corel and distributed as CorelXara.  we'll see how that goes.

i don't really have any news.  the last couple of days have seen me tied to a desk working on the website.  little human interaction = nothing to rant about.  i'm ok with that. 

here's something funny.  well, no, it's not funny.  i like oatmeal.  (this is a new development.)  throughout childhood, i *hated, despised and loathed* oatmeal.  unfortunately, mom made it for me and my sisters *every* damned morning.  i don't know ... lately, i've been making it in the mornings for myself and enjoying it.  hm.  

i've been feeling very conscious of my global footprint lately. anthony and i recycle, i don't eat animal products and the kat rarely does nowadays, we buy locally-grown produce, we live in a reasonably-sized house, but for all of that, those stupid cars are really taxing on the environment.  (if you're wondering, my 'footprint' according to the above link is 2.7 hectares and i *should* only need 1.8.  that sucks. what's more frightening is that most people in canada have a footprint of 8.8 hectares.

we're so arrogant. 

by the way ... don't eat at kfc until they start supporting more humane treatment of chickens.  watch out for the video footage though - what goes on in kfc's suppliers' slaughterhouses is truly horrific.  well, i suppose you *could* eat at kfc ... but you'd be a real son of a bitch.

oi ... sorry.  

anyway - enough of my ecological ranting.  i must get to work.

i made some cds for the car, which will make the rounds fairly pleasurable.  (i'm such an EBM whore.) i also get to do a showing with some guy.  i hope he's not a letch.  

are men even aware of their drooling tendencies?  i don't think so.  that vacant, yet intense stare, the half open mouth ... half-wits.  *then* these guys think, "maybe she didn't notice how fucking creepy i am and she'll rent to me."  right.  because i *want* to have another opportunity to interact with you.  

it's only worse when guys try to be funny.  *sigh*  guys?  take note:  if a girl gives you that polite "hah hah" laugh and avoids eye contact, she thinks you're an idiot and wants you to die.  well, maybe that's not the case with all girls, but it certainly is with me.  "hah hah - die!"  

so, who's tired of seeing the pope and his men in red dresses on t.v.?  you too?  bah - the pope was ok, but not as wonderful as news channels pandering to a large catholic audience portray him.  although i appreciate his views on animal welfare, i can't ignore some other things he supported...

  - condoms are evil, even in africa where some populations are 25% infected and in a world where the population is growing beyond the earth's ability to support us. why?  because it was his view that sex could only be justified if the intent is to reproduce.  this might have been a good plan in days gone by where millions were killed off by plague ... but now?  get a grip.  

  - only men can be ordained priests.  he figured that women are only different from men in our ability to bear offspring ... therefore, we'd be subverting god's divine uterine plan by not having children ... because priests can't have sex.  (ha ha ha ha ... i'm, coincidentally, reminded of cardinal law who shuffled around pederast priests from parish to parish, got booted from his diocese and landed a sweet job in rome.) did you know pope john paul ii was obsessed with mary ever since his own mother died and considered her to be what every woman should aim to be.  pious, dutiful, dedicated, obediant ... grousing that there isn't enough wine at the wedding... 

meh.  whatever.

this friday we went to the union hall for 'special' ed's birthday.  if you read my last post, you'll know what i feared i would encounter at this establishment.  seeing the large "NO GANGS, NO VIOLENCE" sign on the front door didn't help.

maybe it was the $2 highballs, maybe it was our friends' good company, but, surprisingly, i had a good time at the union hall.  *why am i always surprised when i have a good time?*  except for Freakboy McAlcoholPoisoning at the next table who was *petting* my arm, it was all good.  oh - and the scary girls in the washroom.  that wasn't cool either.  

i don't like that the union hall scans your id into a computer.  hmm.  not that *anyone* is going to argue with these bouncers.  half a dozen 7-foot tall men without necks are certain to inspire cooperation.

the next morning, we went to denny's for breakfast.  did you know there's almost *nothing* vegan on the menu?  i shouldn't have been surprised.  i had toast and applesauce.  meh!  

why is it that eating something greasy the day after a night of serious thinking feels so good?  the kat thinks it coats the stomach or something.  i don't know.  denny's is certainly the place for greasy food.  ehhhh ... yuck.

while i enjoyed the movie, i can't honestly say the same about the whole theatre experience.  as i'm sure you're aware, i don't like people.  sin city, being a 'popular' movie, seemed to have been nearly sold out.

when i see a movie at a multiplex, i intend to be wooed by hollywood peddlers of vice and violence.  usually.  i'd rather not think, "ew.  this place smells like people." 

so, young men of the south edmonton common cineplex odeon theatre, i understand your struggles with post-pubescent geek-ness, but please indulge my desire to devote unwavering attention to glitterati and pyrotechnics.  wear deodorant.  *please*

i ask because i'm sure we'll be sharing a theatre again, considering that the star wars trailer elicited theatre-wide �lan. (btw, it looks like it *might* be good.  i'm eternally optimistic.)  

here's something i hate:  coworkers who double book themselves (i suspect intentionally) and expect someone else to pick up the slack.  i *hate* that.  *shakes fist in air*  alas, i am a team player.  har har.

here's something else i hate:  being obligated to attend a birthday party at one of edmonton's meat markets.  well, a bar i *assume* is a meat market:  the union hall, formerly inferno, fluid and the (mighty) thunderdome.  *sigh*  i think our friend wants to get laid, otherwise, i simply don't understand.  this is a guy who frequents suburbs.  this is also the guy who got drunk at his last birthday party at julio's barrio on whyte ave and walked off with a sombrero, which he wore all night, even at the purple onion.  so maybe this will be a good time after all.

... time to get back to reconciling bank accounts.  pft.

*every* time someone mentions the movie 'sin city,' the genitorturers song of the same name pops into my head.

we're going to see sin city tonight.  it should be fun  :D   maybe i'll bring the old camera around and annoy people.  that would be more fun.

today was an annoying day at work.  we were paying out our single-family clients and, of course, yardi was being stupid.  (yardi is property management software.)  

this bit of software has a pretty hefty yearly fee.  you'd think that *someone* at yardi would think to allow us to use a printer that doesn't rely on the hp 4+ driver.  why?  because there are only so many printers around these days that use it.  we have the hp 1100 laserjet for all our cheque runs.  it works ok, but it's obviously on it's last legs.  when we run cheques it gets hot and lets out a god-awful whine.  if anyone out there can tell me where i can find old laserjets that use a parallel cable, i'd be much obliged.  (no, i'd rather not buy printers on ebay.)

stupid yardi.

unfortunately, it is the best property management program i could find.

anyway...

i'm looking forward to seeing that movie.  i understand benicio del toro is in it.  :D

"In the streets where the servants of silence dwell
The visions of the wicked are sure to sell! In Sin City!"

doo dee doo ... 

it's come to my attention that certain canadians think *we* are less racist than americans.  hah!  

i spent some time living in the states.  sure, you'd see that particular variety of stupidity once in a while, but it's here too.  in full bloom.  maybe it's not directed towards african americans, but have you seen the way some people treat native canadians?  sheesh.  (proud heinz 57 here ... an irish-scottish-polish-ukrainian-native canadian woman.) 

not to mention the way so many people in this country are prejudiced against americans.  some of my fellow canadians have come up with an astounding array of american myths.  

now, let's get something straight.  there are serious reasons why canadians don't like america right now.  these are mostly related to their current trade and foreign policies ... soft wood lumber tarrifs, the invasion of iraq etc. and people don't care for president bush, his plans for militarizing space and his cowboy swagger.  this goes without saying.  apparantly, just less than half of voting americans would agree.

what i'm talking about is the other stuff.  the stuff canadians pass off as *truth* in order to gain a sense of superiority over our neighbours.  here we go:

  - despite what you may have heard, american post-secondary institutions are as good (or as bad) as ours.  really.  

  - no, most americans are *not* like the family from 'roseanne.'  (this, i heard from my *teacher* in the third grade. way to go, dude.)

  - not all americans are gun-toting nuts, but, yes, the right to bear arms and form militias is in their constitution.  they sure love their constitution - how is a canadian to relate?  we didn't form one of our own until 1981.  we didn't fight a war to kick the british out.

  - no, americans are *not* more ignorant about the world around them than canadians.  there are plenty of canadians around who couldn't come up with one difference between tajikistan and kyrgyzstan.  (i can only because i just read the cia fact sheet on those countries.)

  - but you say, "hey, canada is a lot closer, geographically, historically and economically, than either tajikistan or kyrgyzstan." and you're right!  sure, americans probably don't pay as much attention to canada as we'd like them to (or that they ought to), but, seriously, canada has a slightly smaller population than california.  a little perspective is good.  

  - true: americans don't know much about canada.  also true:  most canadians don't know much about canada.

  - no, canadians did *not* burn down the white house in 1812.  there was no 'canada.'  this was courtesy of the british.  :P  (this is directed to all the jerks who ruin canada day at the alberta legislature grounds by crowing about a 200 year old moment of british glory.  fuck.  i have more fun at u.s. independence day celebrations nowadays because of these assholes.)

gods!  i don't know ... there are a *lot* of these ideas floating around canada. is it all fueled by beer commercial-induced patriotism?  i suspect it is.  it's amazing how canadians found nationalism when an american advertising agency starting promoting molson canadian.  oh yeah!

why can't canadians love canada *without* lowering themselves to this level?  my love of canada isn't conditional upon my blind hatred of some other country.  

oh wait!  i forgot!  hate is easy - *that's* why people act like dumbasses.  bah!

the kat was lamenting about some of the louts he has to talk to at work.  he was helping one woman with her laptop.  she wasn't able to turn it on.  she asked angrily, "if i give you my ip, can't you just remote in and fix it?!"  mhmmm.  that was my chuckle of the morning.  

i'm so tired!  *yawn*  i'm also full of rice and veggies, which isn't doing anything for the sleepiness.  blah.  stupid daylight savings time.  of course, i could be tired because of that kat keeping me up until the wee hours of the morning, not that i'm complaining about that.  *nice kat*

*yawn*

tomorrow i'm going to collect things from my managers.  i'm really hoping they're all around so i don't have to do multiple trips around the city.  stupid gas prices.  thank the gods i drive a saturn.  i'd cry if i drove anything bigger.  i had a glimpse into into that experience when i drove my mom's x5 last week and had to get gas.  crinimy.

i *really* don't feel like being at work today.  :(  

you should look at this.

i *love* my kat  ;)  and that he's comfortable enough to sing rocky horror songs with me

it turns out that one of the kat's favorite movies, the rocky horror picture show, is playing at the garneau theatre on his birthday.  *that* should be fun  :D  i think we'll get a fair number of people together for that.  i'll make sure i point out all the virgins.

anyway, another work week is upon me. i have things to do, so i bid you adieu.  

i returned to the office today and found that someone broke in over the lunch hour.  gah!

this is the first of the month and someone probably thought they would find rent money on the premises.  of course.  why would anyone *work* for money?

we have a sign on our counter, clearly visible from the door, with big red lettering, that says, "cash not accepted."  fucking genius.

happily, we had already taken the cheques to the bank.

all in all, it wasn't too bad.  sadly, the police can't really do anything for us at this point.  *sigh*  hopefully, the repair guy gets here to fix things before we close.  we were planning on closing a little early today.

bah!  

this isn't doing anything with my conviction that *most* people could do with a little sterilization.  

did you there's a law still on the books in texas that says you can kill a person if "they needed killing?"  there's a part of me that likes that.

right now, it's a *big* part of me.

i wonder if it was some doddering old fool determined to pay his condo fees.  i would not be surprised.  "oopsie daisy!"  

       meow!

i think it's time to find food ...

if you're looking for last month's posts, go here: nonextant.

so far, i have nothing to rant about.  i was slightly annoyed at the cool weather this morning.  i'm itching to get back into walking before work, but ... meh.  too cold.

(emma has a fairly narrow range of temperature tolerance.)  if it's between 6 and 16 degrees celcius, i'm a happy camper.  anything outside of that 10 degree range and i'm uncomfortable and crabby. 

i think there are a total of 4 weeks where i get to enjoy *perfect* weather.  the afternoons have been just right lately.  it really makes me want to be away from the office.  i can think of several places ...

here's something cute:

*what's this? i think i should smack it.*	*hmm ... this smells pretty good.*
*yes!  glorious broccoli!*	*thanks mom, i'd love seconds.*

gabriel has taken to eating broccoli.  only the gods know why.  he's also stopped eating his soft food - only crunchies will do.  it's all very strange, but he's getting healthier.  i think he's down to 14 pounds ... he was 19.  poor baby.  maybe raphael shamed him into his new diet. 

ah, cats.  (and kats.)