Before This begins, i would like to point out that I was in a foul mood when i wrote it, but I figure everyone can benefit from a little knowledge now and then.

As some people that frequent my site may know, my profession (albeit a far from glamorous one) is that of a grocery cashier.  My job is to scan the groceries and various other items of the paying public and take their money in exchange for those items.  I also take the CRAP said public gives me, whether I want it or not.  I have had about all I can take and have decided to compile a list of everything John Q. Consumer needs to know before ever stepping into my store.

1) First and foremost, I don't know everything.   I don't know EVERY sale that is going on, I don't know the price of EVERY item you bring me.  If I did, do you think I would be a lowly cashier?

2) Human error runs rampant in the world.  As such, just because the sign says its 2.99, don't mean its 2.99.  Come on!  When was the last time a 24 pack of Pepsi was 99 cents?  Be realistic people.  And another thing.  Dont grab something off the shelf and look at whatever price suits your fancy.  The tag isnt "next to it" or "right there by it" or "above it" its directly beneath what you just took.  And just cause the other 10 items on the shelf are 1.99, doesnt mean the one you just grabbed is 1.99.

3) Yes.  I know all the E.F.T. (credit card swipe) devices are different.  Ours is completely different from every single one in existence.  You know why?  They are made by hand by 6 year old Kenyan children to insure uniqueness JUST to annoy you.

4) A traffic ticket is NOT legal identification or proof of your age.  Besides that, if you committed a traffic violation so grave as to warrant the confiscation of your driver's license, do you REALLY think you need alcohol? Also, if said traffic ticket says "DWI" anywhere on it, I will laugh in your face.

5) Our store has a special "Saver's Card" to get special in store discounts.  Since when do I care why you don't have it?  I've heard all the excuses.  Odds are I'll just put one in anyway to keep you off my back.

6) Don't be one of those people who knows exactly how much every item I scan costs, and whether its right or wrong, except for the ONE item that isn't found in the computer.  If you know how much the previous 18 items where, why don't you know number 19?

7) If you have more than 15 items in your cart, you dont belong in the express lane.  I dont care if you are paying for your 40 items 4 different ways, it might justify being in lane 1 to you, but NOT to the 6 people behind you wanting to buy a Hershey bar.