Just as I was lifted back into a standing position, I heard an elevator door squeak open... and Brian's head came into view. I let go of AJ, but he'd already caught us. "No use hiding from me, I saw you two," he grinned. I was surprised he wasn't mad, to say the least. "I knew he'd get to you before I could," he said. It was so soft, I think only I caught it, but it made my heart fall into my shoes. I felt like crying again, so I excused myself, and asked to be taken home.
Being back at the house wasn't much better, as AJ walked into my room after I'd showered. I clutched my towel to me, and flunked down on the bed. I suppose he got the wrong idea, because he turned all the lights off. "Are you too tired for me?" he purred. If I hadn't felt like I'd double-crossed my good friend, I would've thrown the towel off and given him my answer. BUT... sex was far from my mind then, and I only wanted to talk it out with Brian. "AJ... tonight isn't a good time," I whispered as he pulled at my towel. He ran a hand through my wet hair and sighed. "Alright. When it is, you tell me, ok?" he said, and kissed me lightly before turning the lights back on and leaving the room... at the exact moment Brian came in.
"Hey Bri, can I ask you something?" My voice sounded strong, contradicting my turning stomach. "I noticed you didn't care about AJ and I much up on the roof, but then why haven't you talked to me for the last hour? Not in the car, and not when we got back home." I sat waiting for his answer, hoping to God he wouldn't start telling me how much I was like a ping pong ball between him and AJ. He stared at me, then blinked hard once and started. "I just... I thought you wanted to be with AJ... you wanted to spend your time with him is all... I thought you didn't want me to interrupt-" "-No that is bullshit, Brian, and you know it! For God's sake, we kissed, ok? Yes, I may like him as more than a friend, and at least I can like him as more than that without feeling guilty about it! Do you understand, Brian?" I yelled now. "You are my friend, and, if it was possible then I would be more than friends with you over AJ. But it's just not that way now, Bri, because of everything that happened back in Atlanta," I finished, trying to halm my heated nerves. Now, I realized, it was Brian's turn to yell. "Well you know what, Liz? I hate this! I hate the fact that you wont even touch me for more than 5 seconds... and why? Because you feel guilty? That's not good enough! And when I saw you two on the roof I could feel my heart ripping into two pieces because I want you to be with me and not him! And I-" he paused to wipe at his eyes. The pause lingered, but finally he spoke again. "You asked me once, the first time I met you, what it was AJ wanted to give you. You know what it was? It was his cell number so you two could get together and... fuck." He spit the last word out like it was poisonous, then lookeed at me with sad eyes. "That's all he wanted from you, Liz. That's all he'll ever want, but I... I want you to be with me because I like you. I like Liz, not just Liz's body. Do you understand, now?" And with that he turned, opened my door, and left me there, shivering from the cold water on my neck and the effect of his words. I'd never known, and now I did. I did.
Chapter 10