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I was in Morrisons the other day, looking at the loaves of bread, seeing if they were good enough to consider buying when some teenagers came into the store. I was in the aisle where all of the soft drinks are, so they were headed my way. I began sweating as I wasn't sure what to do. I decided to be normal and try to keep my cool. So they pass me and say "Hows it going Old Man" so I reply in a fit of rage, "Fine". So the child says "Are you answering me back?". Of course I couldn't do anything and I had already enraged the youngster. He called his friends over and told them I was insulting them, so they got some bread - it was from the stack that i hadn't checked yet - "What are you doing!" I yelled, that might be good bread. "Oh really" answered one of the loony adolescents. They grabbed one loaf each and hit me over the head with them. I was mighty displeased and left the shop in tears. I went to a nearby toilet and sobbed a little before plucking up the courage to return and shout "Up Yours!" to them, then I ran as fast as I could. Of course none of that bit happened, it just makes my withered self feel better for thinking I did that.

Oh well. I know this column was short and not as ranting and will get nowhere near as good a reception as the last one, it was ok. My next column will be up in a week maximum.