Message: 3
Date: Tue, 18 Sep 2001 08:40:38 -0400
From: Sharon Lew <[email protected]
Subject: Before anyone forgets...it's only been one week.
on 9/17/01 11:20 PM, [email protected] at
[email protected] wrote:
9/15/01
My good friends know how much I have loved my neighborhood. Battery Park
City is an enigma in New York City. It is a small town in a big city. Many
people who have lived in nyc their whole lives, don¹t know how to get there.
You still always have to tell the cab driver where to turn off West Street.
No one knows there is a new great school there, or the most amazing park.
It¹s been a growing secret here, and it¹s a working mom¹s dream place..
In the last three days I have gone from hysterical, to sad, to angry to
completely confused. I have decided to write this, because my husband
purged himself in a letter to his friends, and I have decided o do the
same. It might seem self indulgent, but so be it. I think it¹s important
for people to hear the stories of the people this catastrophe has affected.
My heart is aching for all those families who have lost their loved ones, or
have still not heard anything. My story has a happy ending and I feel guilty
for that. I feel so bad for feeling sorry for myself today.
Closer to home, my heart is aching for all the children who¹s parents never
picked them up from our school that morning, or never picked them up from
the shelters they were ferried to over in Jersey City. Many of our
neighbors, and parents of my daughter¹s classmates, work in The World Trade
Center and the surrounding buildings. . In a sense, I have been grieving for
nameless neighbors who I don¹t even know are dead yet. We won¹t know how
horrible the toll is, or who is gone, until we can get back to our
neighborhood. Our whole community is gone.
Our neighborhood was The World Trade Centers, The World Financial Center and
all the buildings connected. It¹s the mall we shop in, it¹s where my shoe
repair place is, It¹s near where my grocery store is, and our drug store.
All the babysitters meet there inside, with the kids in the winter. My
daughter knows some of the store workers (especially at The gap) by name. We
are there, everyday, to take the subway and every night on the way home. All
those places are gone now.
Our apartment buildings are unsafe. We have no idea when we can go home. We
have no services whatsoever. No gas, electric, phones or water. Our phones
have been out since the second the first plane hit, and no one from my
neighborhood has been able to reach each other. We have been told very
little about our homes, we are not allowed back, and everyone left without
anything. Many people have no papers, no id, no clothes, some left without
wallets or cash cards. Some ran out in their underwear. And none of us have
been able to speak to each other. All the parents of my daughters school,
all the phone numbers of my neighbors, are all on my damn refrigerator. It
wouldn¹t matter much anyway, cause none is home.
Most of our cell phones went out the first moment it happened, since we live
across the street, all our home phones went out too. So many families were
separated, and had a very hard and traumatic time trying to find each other,
to know whether their loved ones were ok. There must be something like
5-8,000 people who are homeless right now from Battery Park City alone. The
size of most suburban towns. There is debris, body parts and pieces of
buildings all over the place. And of course, we are the lucky ones.
My morning began by taking Emma to school. It was an amazingly beautiful
day, and we both commented about the bright sun. I remember talking to a
bunch of Mom¹s outside the school about whether or not we were going to
enroll our kids in Hebrew School, and where we were going for Services. All
the mom¹s were saying we should stay in the city; so all the kids could be
together for the holidays. . I was running late, so I know by the time I
got out of the school building on Warren St.and The West Side Hwy it was
about 8:45a.
I had not even crossed the street yet, when I heard the loudest plane sound.
I actually made a joke to myself like- what are we being bombed or
something? I looked up and the sun was in my eyes, so I never saw the plane
actually enter the building. All I saw was the huge explosion, and it was
the loudest noise I have ever heard. The earth shook, everything stood still
for a moment. I dropped to my knees. I was hysterical. I thought a bomb was
dropped and the plane kept going because I had never seen it go thru the
other side. I ran in a circle for a moment I think. I was cursing my cell
phone cause it wasn¹t working. I was shaking. A total stranger and myself
were shaking and crying and hugging each other. I don¹t think we said a word
to each other. And we were in the middle of the highway. Like in a chase
seen in a movie; all the cars on the hwy, and Chambers St screeched to a
halt. Everyone was looking up and screaming and crying. One of my neighbors
ran up to me I think she was in shock, She was screaming ³I saw that, I saw
the whole thing² It was literally right over our heads.
I remember running back to Emma¹s school. All I could think of was to get
Emma and Sage near me. I was frantic. I arrived in the building. Most people
didn¹t get it. They thought it was an accident, but then someone came
screaming inside, who had seen the whole thing. I had to explain to people
that I was pretty sure this was no accident. It was a terrorist act. Two
moms¹ became hysterical when I told them what I thought. It had never even
dawned on me that it might be an accident. After that we were all hysterical
and in line for the pay phone to call our husbands, about 20 hysterical
moms!
That¹s when the second plane came, the sound and explosion shook the whole
building. Much like an earthquake. More hysterical mom¹s came running into
the school; they were still outside looking at the insane unimaginable sight
of the first building with a hole in it. The neighborhood is being bombed.
The enormity of it being bombed twice in 5 minutes, across the street from
us, was more than you can imagine. It meant they could just keep going..
That¹s it. I run up the stairs to Emma¹s classroom I am talking to myself,
³get Emma, get Emma, and don¹t stopŠ² I get to her classroom; many parents
tell me I should stay put, stay calm and don¹t go outside. I can¹t. I have
to be outside. I have to go find Steven and Sage. And I absolutely must be
holding my Emma. I thank everyone for his or her advice, the teacher makes
me take a deep breath, and reminds me not to panic, for Emma¹s sake, and I
know she¹s right. I deep breathe and say ³now bring Emma to me² She¹s all
ready scared. They heard the explosions in class. Her classroom faces The
World Trade Center. They are 6. Everyone is panicked in the school.
We run outside toward the river, away from The World Trade Center. We see
another classmate with her mom up ahead. We run up to them, so Emma has a
buddy. We are all relieved to not be alone. The girls are visibly scared. We
decide to wait in the park, I thought we were there a long time, but it
wasn¹t. We thought it would be calmer and safer there, but then these police
helicopters came flying in. They landed in the middle of a very small park.
Right in front of us. Everyone is freaked out. More loud noises, SWAT Team
type guys come running out of the helicoptersŠNow, I¹m scared even more.
Nowhere is safe and calm. I need to get Sage and Steven.
I start walking with Emma back toward our apartment building. We are
walking south along the river promenade. The World Trade Centers are huge;
we see them everyday, they looked bigger than ever before. There is an open
view from the promenade that is indescribable. I see someone fall from the
top of the first building, and then I see someone walking throw up right
near me. I see people waiving white flags to come and get rescued. The
buildings to me are just a sea of people, who are stranded.
I tell Emma not to look up, which only makes her look up moreŠI just needed
to see Steven and Sage and know they are ok.
I knew going back down there was probably not the best thing to do. I can¹t
sleep now, thinking about what I put Emma thru by walking back down there.
We finally arrive at our building but we are not allowed in. We are not
allowed near the entrance of our building and our street has been closed
off. I start asking strangers to use their phone. I finally get to use a fax
line phone from one of our neighboring buildings on the side street. I
finally get thru to our house for the first time, but they are not there. I
leave a crazy message on the machine. Now I¹m hysterical again. We are
standing outside, the other women I am with does reach her husband. He was
home, he said he¹s coming right down to get them. She actually apologized to
me for her good news in finding him. I started crying. A man came running by
with a transistor radio, and starts screaming, ³The Pentagon was just
bombed² We all look at each other in absolute distress.
No one knew what to do. At that moment the earth started shaking again, the
noise was loud, but different then all the other loud noises. People started
screaming, ³we¹re getting bombed again². We didn¹t know yet, that¹s when the
first building was falling. We looked up and this huge black and gray mass
of debris and smoke came at us. ³Run² was all anyone screamed. A stranger
came up to Emma and me and grabbed her and started running with her,
somewhere we lost him in the crowd. I was worried we weren¹t going to make
it. I really thought there was no way we could run faster than this stuff
was attacking us. I was worried Emma would be trampled. I don¹t even
remember how we actually got to Battery Park. I just remember we were there,
and I saw someone get on a bus. A man waived at me to bring Emma, It turned
out to be an abandoned bus, and the driver fled leaving the keys inside. He
must have thought he was going to die in that bus. So did I.
I was worried about Emma being able to breathe. What is in this dust? We are
spitting it out, and breathing into our clothes. I thought she might
suffocate. We get on the bus and huddle up.
Then the second building fell. It was not as loud cause we were further away
now, but the wind dropped the debris and smoke right over us. It was like
thick black snow, with big chuncks in it. It was eerie outside. Thank god
for that bus. The EMS and Fire trucks started screeching around us. They
started screaming ³Move this fucking bus, now² A young guy, I think around
20, had been sitting in the front seat. He looked at all of us and said,
³I¹m just going to drive this bus over to the side of the road.² But there
was no side of the road to go to, we had to get out of there. He turned
around and said ³I am taking this bus out of here, and going as far uptown
as possible² We all just stared at him in silence.
We drove past the South Street Seaport, which was covered in thick debris.
Some people got out at the Brooklyn Bridge, I thought about it, but I wasn¹t
sure. A man screamed at me to stay seated, there might be a bomb on the
bridge. I knew I didn¹t want to go to far from our neighborhood because I
needed to find Sage. I started crying on the bus, telling the driver I
needed to get out at 23rd St.. (my office is on 20th St/B¹way) I couldn¹t go
further than that. I was hysterical at the thought of leaving Steven and
Sage behind. He wasn¹t going to stop, but I begged him to let us out at the
23rd street exit on the FDR. We got out, people wished us well, and a man
took off his shirt and threw it to me, so Emma could breathe into it.
Emma and I walked off the entrance ramp, people were walking along the FDR
from downtown, because all the trains were out. A few people came to help
Emma get over the fence that separates where the cars should be. Emma
comments on how nice everyone is. She is acting like a stepford-child. She
is in a zone, and I realize this right then.
When we get to 3rd Avenue, I realize people are looking at us funny. I am a
zombie. But, we are covered with dust, we look like refugees. We are
refugees. In Gramercy everyone acts like nothing happened. Kids are in the
park, the whole world was different uptown. People are breathing
differently. The sun is shining again up there. There¹s no smoke, no chaos.
I break down again at Park Avenue. I look downtown and see the smoke and
start praying out loud for Steven and Sage and Della, our babysitter. A
stranger asks me if I just lost someone, and I say, ³I¹m not sure.² I didn¹t
even know if Sage was with Steven or Della. I didn¹t know if Steven had left
for work, and went to the subway. I didn¹t know if Della took a walk to the
Greenmarket at the World Trade Center. I was definitely thinking the worst.
All Emma talks about is how thirsty and itchy she is. Her shoes hurt, she
has been walking a lot. I buy her water. Everyone in the store is staring at
us, but none say a word. They were afraid to ask I guess. We finally make it
to my office building.
I¹m afraid to get in the elevator, but I do. I walk in, and Caryn tells me
Steven, Sage and Della are there. Steven comes over to me and I break down.
It never dawned on me for one minute they might be there. I wail. I never
knew I could cry like that. Like the cries you see old women do at funerals.
I¹ve never been like that. I wailed. Loud.
Steven had heard the first explosion and ran downstairs to get Della and
Sage who had been on their way to the Greenmarket. It exploded right above
them too. Della had grabbed Sage out of the stroller and ran her back to our
building. They all ran to Emma¹s school, but we all missed each other there.
Probably by like one minute. They ended up continuing to run uptown until
they reached my office. Not knowing where we were. Steven is a wreck.
Now we are all very jumpy. Loud noises freak us all out. I think planes
overhead will forever scare me. We need to find a new home quickly. None of
us could live there again. I don¹t even want to go home to pack. Emma¹s
school is closed, and being used as a triage center for all the victims and
workers. I need my babysitter, so I can go back to work. But I don¹t even
know where we are going to be staying. Is Emma going to go to school
somewhere in the city, or out here in Fire Island. I don¹t know yet how
traumatized my daughter is. And I think she needs to see her classmates to
share their stories. Too bad we can¹t call any of them. Our next few weeks
will be crazy. But we are all together and safe, and won¹t be leaving each
other¹s sides for a while.
It¹s odd for us to keep hearing people say things like ³it¹s business as
usual, uptown² many people are like ³yeah, life has to go on² I know in a
sense this is true, but we can¹t even sleep yet. We close our eyes, and see
all these horrible images of the morning. Our community is gone. Our
neighbors are gone. Our park, our post office, our churches and temples, our
school, for now and our homes. How does everyone just move on? All downtown
people are traumatized for a long time to come. There are so many victims of
this act. The world will never be business as usual for any of us, anywhere.
And I have a need to make sure everyone understands that.
But today I will hold my kids and my husband close, and thank God for how
lucky we are.
Ron Strom
North By Northwest Productions
01 (509) 324-2949 Voice
01 (509) 324-2959 Fax