Emerging Courageous online Magazine

"I couldn't possibly do this!" I said to myself. "But if you don't, you can never again tell someone else that you believe in second chances." But I do indeed believe in second chances. God knows I've had so many, I'll have to live forever just to pay Him pack. As I'm writing this, I'm still shaking with anticipation, excitement and yes, perhaps fear.

Sharla, a member of this list of "friends I've never met," sent me an email yesterday. It read something like, "I don't know if you'd be interested or not and I'm not sure how old you are..." I giggled this silly childlike laugh, as if I were being teased with the idea. But in reality it cut right to the core of my being. I passed on it at first, thinking I'd have a chance in a million to do this. But those were the odds I've lived with all my life. Those are the things I saw in the world when most everyone else was seeing stability and solid, wise choices.

From early on in my life I wanted to be a star so I've always aimed high figuring I'd eventually hit one.

I have so many times. But now, this 52 year old adult has gained wisdom from mistakes, mature logic in his choices and frankly I was becoming pretty boring. So, here it goes. Next Wednesday, March 12th at 2:45 in New York City, I will be getting still another second chance. They are holding auditions for "Second Chance: America's Most Talented Senior." It was the "Senior" part that bothered me the most. But the qualifications were anyone 50 and over. I will have one minute and thirty seconds to sing. That's it. A second chance that will take most of the day to get there and back, but it all comes down to one minute and thirty seconds. A chance in a million, I know. But I'm not dead, yet. So I must try.

Besides, believe it or not, you came to mind. It is because of you that I am doing this. You see, I write stories of hope. I write and speak to inspire. As I was thinking about doing this, I pictured having to face each of you and say, "I'm too old for second chances."
Then one by one you would all turn and walk away.
"He's a fake!"
"He doesn't believe in what he says!"
"Liar!"
That was the reason I decided to go ahead with this even if all I get to do is try, I will walk away from this knowing that I did indeed have another shot at success...I had a "Second Chance to become America's Most Talented Senior." This one, my friend, is for you!

You continue to amaze me. I was overwhelmed by the number of people who wrote to encourage me about my audition on Wednesday. You are the fuel for my spirit. You are the reason I do what I do.

I have presented to audiences in the thousands. I have hosted live television. I don't fear failure in doing this. I believe in the old saying that failure only comes in never trying.

But this takes me back to my teen years. I have vivid memories of spending long hours in my bedroom singing. The door was shut, my stereo set, and I sat in the corner of my room with the light from a "pole lamp" (if you remember those) shining on me. I pressed the button and magically I was on stage singing to thousands.

That dream turned into reality and I have had an incredible life, my friend. But God still continues to provide the stage, the talent, and the friends like you to encourage me.

My sincere thanks for all the encouragement, prayers and concern. I'll have you know that when I walked up there to sing I was very, very calm…A calmness that only God can bring into your heart.

"You either do or you don't. If you do, you'll be able to live with yourself a little longer. If you don't, you'll live with regret the rest of your life. " Bob Perks

[email protected]

I stood in a long line of people who had nothing but good to say to one another. I wish I could have taken them all home with me.

"You did a great job!" someone said to one of the participants as he left the building.

"They didn't think I was good enough," he replied.

"As long as you think you are good enough, that's all that matters," one man told him.

One by one, they took their turn. One by one they were rejected. But, just like when a child falls and runs to Mom so she can kiss their "boo boo" every person who walked out that door was praised by their fellow performers.

Did it hurt me to try? Yes and no.

Frankly I was not surprised when he said, "Thanks for coming...next." In fact, I was almost relieved. I handled it quite well. I really didn't feel the "agony of defeat" at first because my attention was now directed outside myself. I had to face my wife, Marianne.

The look on her face cut into my heart so deeply. I realized that when he rejected me, he rejected her.

"Honey, I'm so sorry I didn't make it."

"He was a jerk!" she said at first. I laughed as she tried to defend me. It was that gut reaction, her line of defense because I was turned down.

I didn't have time to think about how I really felt because I suddenly realized that I now had to face everyone who believed in me.

My family and friends back home were all waiting to get the word. Those of you who prayed for me, my "friends I've never met," all needed to be told the outcome. I stayed up late that night to write that last story. It wouldn't be fair to keep you wondering.

But my moment, the reality of it all, came as soon as we cleared the Lincoln tunnel. I called my son Keith from my cell phone.

"I didn't make it," I told him.

"Oh, that's too bad." he said. "But you tried, Dad."

"Yes, I did."

When I hung up the phone, I began to cry.

"Do you want me to drive?" Marianne asked me.

"No, I'm fine. It's just that I want so much to succeed in life so that I can prove to him that all I believe in is true."

There was silence for awhile.

I then called my friend Bob. He's got to be the most positive person I know. But even as he searched for the silver lining in this, I could hear the pain in his voice. I sometimes think he wants me to succeed even more than I do.

Someone asked me yesterday if I "practice what I preach." I smiled knowing that on Wednesday I did just that. It was truly the driving force for following through on this audition. I learned so many things because I took a chance on myself again. I was also reminded how very important it is to surround yourself with people who are positive, people who want you to succeed as much as you do.

So permit me to tell you, "You did a great job today. I like who you are. You have a wonderful smile. I need you there to occupy that space in my life. Otherwise there would be a void, an empty place in the world and the world would be less because you weren't here. There's a great deal to do so your dream will come true and I want you to know...

"I believe in you!"

Bob Perks [email protected]

Perks Pearl of Wisdom

"Your life is like a set of toy building blocks. Everyday you add one more. Make sure it is stable enough to keep your life from falling apart. But, if it does, never hesitate to begin again, because now you will build on a much stronger foundation...experience." Bob Perks

*Note: Used with permission for Emerging Courageous online Magazine, MDP

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