Emerging Courageous Online Magazine - Stories

Subject: "Where Are We Going So Fast? - Online" by Jim Warda at
www.wherearewegoingsofast.com


 This house of grief has many rooms.

 It's been almost two years since my Dad died. But still my mother only sleeps on her side of the bed.
 I don't need to ask her why. The answer is in her eyes, and it has so much to do with not wanting to
 let go. As if one morning she may wake and find him there.

 This house of grief has many rooms.

I can go through almost a whole day without thinking about my Dad now. Because life keeps happening,
 with work and children and each day's deals. But then all it takes is to see his picture.

 Like the one my brother and his wife gave us, where my Dad is standing in an apple orchard. With
 his slight smile and kind, kind eyes. My daughter looks at the picture and says Grandpa. My niece says
 it looks like he's in heaven. I just swallow hard.

 This house of grief.

 As a family, we're all simply trying to find where and how we fit now that my Dad is gone. While he's
 also still here. Every time we get together, in so many conversations we have. Still here.

 Has many rooms.

 And, so I'm just wondering out loud about grief. How it fades in and out. Hitting hard one
 moment. Letting you be in the next. A path more than a place.

Each day, I discover another room. And, though I sometimes turn the doorknob reluctantly,
 I still do. Because I know that, behind each door, is another one of my father's perfect smiles.
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 Copyright 2002, Jim R. Warda. All rights reserved.
Used with permission www.eemergingcourageous.com 2002 ______________________________________________________________

 Order Jim's book, "Where Are We Going So Fast?" at
www.wherearewegoingsofast.com and at (800) 266-5564.

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