Emerging Courageous online
Magazine - Poetry
The
Thoughts That Killed
by
Donna Wallace
How
do you keep a marriage blooming
Without
constant care and pruning
Time
and attention must be paid
Or
else love's bloom will fade away.
How
do you withstand the test of time
And
not let the stress leave love behind
How
do you keep the marriage new
When
dreams you made don't come true.
When
life has left you bent and broke
And
no kind words are ever spoke
Up
at dawn and gone too long
Now
neither feel that we belong.
No
more laughter, no more smiles
Failing
all our tests and trials.
No
attempts to even try once more
Let's
say good-bye and close the door.
Perhaps
if love was nurtured when
Each
daytime saw a lonely end
And
every night we lived alone
Together
in what once was home.
How
do you make love's garden grow
When
your love no longer seems to flow
When
you've lost your will to try again
Perhaps
your marriage's met it's end.
Your
roots were shallow, weathered, weak
Injured
more when you chose not to speak
And
when just the t.v. filled the empty air
No
love or voices filled with care.
When
the lack of became too much
Emptiness
replacing touch
Anger
now replacing songs
Every
sign of love is gone.
The
slow death of who we were
When
our love was new and pure
And
dreams and wishes filled our head
Replaced
with hopelessness and dread
When
do we stop the music playing
When
will we decide to not keep staying
When
will we be brave enough to say
It's
time we went our separate ways.
Or
like so many other's in our shoes
Will
we stay together and abuse
The
memory of the love we owned,
The
love that slowly turned to stone.
The
feelings of love replaced by regret
Does
the t.v. and sleep help you forget
Too
tired to try, too weak to stand upright
It's
dark now, our love's turned off the light.....
When
every new day became the same
As
the one that just had caused us pain
When
we stopped living, laughing, caring
We
started a lifetime of despairing
With
nothing to share, or do, or say
We
both just got in each other's way.
Like
strangers sharing the same bed
Wishing
we were somewhere else instead.
A
kiss, a hug, a warm caress,
Some
type of faded tenderness
Strong
arms around me holding tight
Those
are the things I miss at night.
The
spark, the flame, the fire that burned
Extinguished
never to return
The
lust, the passion, the desire
No
evidence there was once a
fire.
The
path's once traveled both together
Have
reached the end of our forever
We
never planned or set a goal
And
now we're left out in the cold.
I've
grown apart from you, it's true
What
I need I am denied by you
You're
filled with hate and horrors past
They've
not vanished but will always last
And
forgiveness seems to be a sin
So
I watch you waste from deep within
Your
heart so big it held so much love
Now
misery is what it's overflowing of.
And
each new day brings new rage to light
More
often we seem to shout and fight
And
your reasons never seem to end
So
that you can forgive and live again.
Now
despondent and too depressed to try
To
change your thoughts, or change your mind
Too
many years spent hating strangers who
You
never hurt - for they never knew.
But
all those years broke your spirit and soul
Your
heart so full of hate grew out of control
So,
of course, our marriage suffered and cried
And
in the end the three of us all died....
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