Emerging Courageous online Magazine - Poetry
Turning
Point
by Dee Ann E.L. Horvath
Time after time I set myself up
To find out once more
"That it was all just too good to be true."
I loved, trusted, and over looked the past
Preordaining yet another disastrous fall
It is like banging my head up against a brick wall
How many times will I allow this to occur?
I must stop this constant rerun in my life
Take a deep hard look at myself and search within
And discover what am I doing to end up in the same place all over again…..
Now no one relishes this part of the task
Realizing that oneself is the main element that perpetuates
This continuous replay in my past
This cycle must be stopped or I will be robbed
Of the joy of being triumphant over my weakness
I loved too much
I cared too much
And I forgave too much
This time I will forgive my blindness to the part I played in it all
Taking a good solid look at oneself isn't always pleasant
My biggest fault is that I allowed my good qualities to be used against me
I will not become hardened or bitter
But I will be more selective in with whom I share them with
I don't deserve to be torn apart
For I am special and have a good heart
I will use the hurt and the anger
To evoke a little self preservation
I will no longer be used me for others advances
I may not be able to reverse the damage
However I can look forward and that I can manage
Because I am worth more than being a doormat
Too bad it took me a this long to discover
But everyone's point of no return is different
And this is a major turning point in my life
To stop this self destructive cycle
And still remain who I am
Now the hardest part is up to me
Dee Ann E. L. Horvath
© 7-24-01
Ambereye3@aol.com