Emerging Courageous Newlsetter

Emerging Courageous Newsletter 68
Marilyn Dixon Pfanstiel, Editor
Aug. 20, 2004

Message for Today: Bi/Polar Revealed: Up Close and Personal
As I look into the sky I see thousands of barn swallows darting to and fro in an eratic pattern before resting for the night in the nearby trees. They are screeching and seemingly moving in utter chaos before deciding on what direction to go. This is the way my brain feels in this manic state I have been in for several days (mildly for three weeks). My brain is on overload with 50 million thoughts rushing in and out, each seemingly important as I try to act on them all. It has gotten to the point where I am no longer productive and energyzed, but going in circles not accomplishing anything or focusing on one thing. My mind is out of control yet by outward appearance, I seem normal just a little reveved up (which is normal for me anyway). I try to calm my mind to no avail...it is racing too frantically. I am exhausted my midday and need to rest which then disturbs my night sleep. Now finally a change in medicine takes me down...too low and I crash...exhausted, emotional and drained physically. Nothing seems important...not all the 50 million thoughts slowly trying to penetrate the fog. I seem to obcess over the thoughts about this process endlessly yet not making any progress. I feel like I will explode...This describes the manic states that seem to creep up periodically and take hold of my thought process. I try to rest...having difficulty letting go. I look to tomorrow with hopes of relief and leveling out. Marilyn Dixon Pfanstiel

***Note: If you know anyone with this erratic behavior insist they get professional help. Bi/Polar illness can be life threatening. Send me your feedback. Marilyn [email protected]

Thoughts to Remember: " The only difference between joyful moments, and others, is you." Mike Dooley

Question to Ponder: "What would you like to achieve before you leave this earth?" by Betty King

Quote to remember: "If you think you're too small to make a difference, you've obviously never been in bed with a mosquito." by Michelle Walker shared by Bette Tolnai

Thoughts on anxiety by Guy Finley:
"Being anxious, always in a rush and racing after whatever it is we've imagined will help us to be more at peace with ourselves, is like running to catch the shadow of a passing cloud on a hot summer's day so that we get to stand in a cool spot!"

Regarding the hurricane:
We're offline because of the hurricane but know we'll be ok! I managed to add my book from you among my other treasures! Will be in touch as soon as we can get online! Angelhugz, Elaine England

*" Ah yes, dogs. I told my sister that in a couple of years I would take a long vacation, come back and build my home on the west coast of FL, sell my condo here, buy a dog and live happily ever after." What do you think :) Always glad to hear from you Marilyn.

* "Loved your story about Lexie....I am an 80 year 'ole lady living in a retirement complex....but I have my own cottage so can have a small dog...would love one like Lexie....have been looking but so far haven't seen one...I think the mixed breeds like that one is the best, in fact all our dogs have been like that...My best one, a small minature Collie/Pomeranian...she was a sweetie. Let me know when you find the right one. Have been missing your newsletters, you sound like one busy lady!!!! " Flower Lady

* "I laughed out loud at the puppy's antic's. As the person who is owned by four fur-babies, and one cat, and a loud bird, I can only say...GO FOR IT ! They make some of the BEST memories. (of course, the down side of it, is being woke up at 3 am, by the horizontal body of a 75 pound husky, kicking you out of your own bed ! )" HUGZ, Sandy Smith

* " I loved this one. I have had dogs all my life and I know just how much love and joy they can bring into our lives. I am glad you had such a wonderful time with Lexie. I know that she enjoyed your company just as much as you did hers. Keep up the wonderful writing. Wishing you every joy, Joe Marzella

* "What a great story, Marilyn! It really made me miss my dog. Glad to hear you're doing well!" Blessings, Donna Gilbert

* Congratulations on your JOYFUL time with Lexie. It is also good to hear that you want to continue bringing that joyfulness into your life by getting your own dog. I also had a cockapoo “Fitzhugh” and you have described them perfectly. They are such a playful and loving pet, a true way to experience unconditional love. Good luck with your future new addition to the family. I hope you will keep me posted." Bette Tolnai

***Postnote: Thanks for all the responses to my experiences regarding my puppy sitting. Missed her so much, have already had to go see her. It is easy to get attached to such an affectionate pup. Hope you have pets to enjoy. Marilyn

Postnote on Serendipity - Often throughout life’s journey, we encounter phenomenal events that result in “New Beginnings”. Enjoy the Journey. Marilyn Dixon Pfanstiel