| Part Nine: Previously: Johnny goes to rampart to get stiches after he was again attacked.Captain finds that he was lied to by Johnny Authors Notes: Conent Warning: Strong Language. *************** After a busy day the guys tiredly walked into the locker room to change out of their uniforms to go home." Hey Gage, you going to change or are you just going to sit there?" Chet asked seeing Johnny sitting in his locker in his uniform. Johnny knew that if he took off his shirt he would be bomb barted with questions from Roy about his bruises. Although he knew that Roy was only trying to be a good friend, still Johnny didn't want to deal with it." Yes I'm going to change, I'm just resting is all." Johnny said " Hey, you are still coming to the cook out tomorrow? Joanne is out of town helping her sister care for her husband after he had surgery and she took the kids with her. She wont be back for about a month. I figure it's a good time for us to spend a little bit of personal time together just the guys. No wives and no kids." Roy said " No, I think I better stay home." Johnny said turning down the invite thinking of his plan to see Nicci. " Are you sure?" Roy said with a disappointed look hearing the one person he hoped would be there turned him down Johnny sat there for a moment and remembered what the Paster said about field trips." Can I bring a friend?" Johnny asked " Sure, more the merrier." Roy said feeling his spirits lifting " Good I'll try to make it, but if I don't I'll see you Monday." Johnny said thinking that Nicci might not get permission to go. Either way he planned to spend the day with her. ............. Seeing that Nicci wasn't in her room, Johnny decided to head to the nurses station." Hello Mr. Gage it's good to see you again." Daniels greeted exstending his hand walking up to Johnny. " Hi, how's Nicci?" Johnny asked returning the hand shake. " She's improved. She hasn't vomited for about three days where as before it was a daily accurence. And although weight loss is exspected, she's lost a little more weight then what I like to see. Fortunately she should gain it back over a period of time. Right now she's out on the patio getting some fresh air." " Well how much does she weigh now the last I knew she weighed 92 pounds that was a week ago." Johnny said worriedly " When we checked yesturday morning, she weighed 89 pounds. I don't thinks she really cares about the food we have to offer." Daniels explained " Well do you think it'll be okay if I took her out to a cook out today?" Johnny asked hopefully " Well since you're a paramedic I see no reason she couldn't go. Just be aware that any situation could set her off and it doesn't have to be anything major. This is her first time out and it could be a little overwhelming and scary for her. If she does have trouble call me or bring her back here as soon as you can. And since you're certified, I'll go ahead and authorize you to administer 50mlgs of Cloridine just in case she becomes violent." Daniels explained handing Johnny a vile and syringe. Johnny put the vile and syringe in his shirt pocket " Okay thanks, well I'll talk to you later. I'll worry about signing her out after I see if she wants to go." Johnny said Walking out to the patio, Johnny had to stop and laugh as he watched Nicci fight the wind that blew through her long blonde hair. With a grin Johnny walked up to her." Hey Nicci you're looking good." Johnny said making her jump." I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you." sitting in a chair next to her. " It's okay I know you didn't mean to." Nicci said looking at Johnny, right away noticing Johnny's black eye." What happened to your eye?" Nicci asked " Oh I went to a party the other night and things got a little out of hand." Johnny lied " It looks bad and it looks pretty sore." Nicci said worriedly " It doesn't hurt that bad, besides if you think this looks bad you should see the other guy." Johnny lied with a fake grin trying hard to convince Nicci Brushing her hair out of her eyes, Nicci looked up at the sky." Have you ever seen such a pretty blue? It's so bright." Nicci said taking a deep breath smelling the sweet fragrance of the lilac bushes. " Yeah I've seen a prettier blue." Johnny flirted looking into Nicci's clear blue eyes with a smile." Nicci I want to take you out of here for a while, that is if you want to go." " Oh I dont' know Johnny, what do you have in mind?" " I was thinking you might enjoy a cook out." Johnny said Nicci sat and thought about Johnny's plans." I think I'd like that if you think it'll be okay." Nicci said nervously " Nicci it'll be okay, I promise, don't worry." Johnny assured walking her back inside. Johnny and Nicci then made their way to the nurses station. " I guess you two are ready to go, I wish you luck. Oh and one more thing make sure the ID bracelets stay on." Daniels said handing Johnny the sign out sheet. " No problem." Johnny said while scribbling his name down on the paper. ............... Johnny came to a stop in front of Roy's house to find that his friends were already there. Cutting a glance over to Nicci he became alarmed to find her shaking." Nicci if you don't want to do this we can leave right now. I'm not going to force you to do anything you're not ready to do." Johnny soothed Without making eye contact Nicci spoke." Johnny it's not that I don't want to cause I do. It's just that I'm........ I'm scared Johnny. I don't want them to know about me. They'll see my scars and the bracelets and they'll......" Nicci stopped placing her hand over her eyes to hide the tears that had formed. " You're right, they will see your track marks and the bracelets but Nicci it'll be okay, they're good people. You have to trust me on that." Johnny assured Looking up at Johnny with tears in her eyes she asked " Why are you being nice to me?" " Because I love you Nicci." Johnny said softly stroking her dampened cheek making her jump back Without another word Johnny and Nicci walked out to the back yard to find the party in full swing. Shutting the gate behind them Johnny was greeted by the Captain. " Hey Pal, I'm glad you decided to join us." Stanley said walking up to Johnny with a beer in his hand. " Capt, guys there's someone I want you to meet." Johnny announced as Nicci hid behind him trying desprately not to be seen. As soon as Johnny spoke his friends from the station gathered around." Guys I want you to meet Nicci Rogers." Johnny said taking Nicci by the hand pulling her out from behind him. " Hi Nicci, I'm Captain Stanley." Stanley said with pride extending his hand out. Nicci looked up at Stanley with fear sweeping through her eyes. " Johnny?" She gasped bolting backwards " Nicci you're okay, no one's going to hurt you." Johnny assured With Johnny words, Captain Stanley withdrew his hand. It was obvious to him that his friendly gesture had frightened her. Nicci looked up at Johnny and then the crowd standing in front of her as she began to shake." I'm sorry." She whispered hanging her head down towards the ground. Johnny placed a finger on her chin gently lifting up her head. " Half Pint, you didn't do anything wrong. But please give them a chance." Johnny pleaded looking into her eyes Without a responce, Nicci looked over to the gate then at the men standing in front of her." Nicci this is my Captain, Hank Stanley. This is our engineer Mike Stoker. These two guys are Chet Kelly and Marco Lopez and this is my partner and best friend Roy DeSoto." Johnny introduced Each of the guys gave a friendly hello being careful not to get to close. They didn't want to have her react to them the same way she did to their Captain. Soon each of them retreated back to the table. Seeing that Nicci was having difficulty, Johnny walked her over to a chair away from his friends. "Here you sit down here and I'll get up something to drink okay Half Pint." Johnny said softly. Johnny walked over to the table where the others were. Then taking two sodas out of the cooler, he started to walk back to Nicci. Only to be stopped by Chet." So Gage, what's her story?" " She don't have any stories, now excuse me." Johnny said trying to avoid the question " Well who is she then?" Marco asked " I just told you who she was Marco, Now please." Johnny pleaded As for Captain Stanley his eyes were fixed on Nicci " I don't know but she looks extremely under weight to me, Is she sick?" He asked looking back at Johnny " No she's not sick, and yes she is a little under weight." Johnny said " Well how much does she weigh?" Roy asked " About 90 pounds." Johnny said gettin fustrated by their questions. " Well if she's not sick then why the bracelets and why is she wearing clothes that look like a patient uniform?" Chet asked " Look I didn't come here to get the third degree or to play twenty questions." Johnny said putting a stop to the questions " No one's giving you the third degree Junior. we're just curious that's all. You have to admit we don't normally see a human skeleton walking around." Roy said " I know Roy and I'm sorry. She's just a friend, and all I ask is that you guys be nice to her. If this is to much to ask then we'll leave right now. Cause I'm not going to put her through that." Johnny said sitting the sodas down on the table " "Johnny you should know us by now, of course we'll be nice. What do you think we are monsters?" Roy assured " Good cause the last thing she needs is to be judged." Johnny concluded looking at Chet. Finally everyone was seated at the table each taking their turn glancing at Nicci. When Roy took his turn, he noticed the needle marks on her arms. It was then clear to him what Johnny meant when he said not to judge and why she wore the bracelets and uniform. " Nicci aren't you going to eat?" Johnny asked watching her pick at the food in front of her. Nicci getting an uneasy feeling in her stomach she spoke softly " I'm not very hungry." Then looking at Roy she saw him starring at her arm. Standing up from the table she spoke in a desperate plea. " Johnny I need to leave." " Nicci are you okay? What's wrong?" Johnny asked also standing up as the others looked on. " I just need to leave." Nicci said hanging her head then walking over to the gate. Johnny walked over to Nicci taking her be the arm." We can leave right now if that's what you want. but do you want to tell me why." " I don't want to talk about it. I just want to go home." Nicci said with tears welling up inside her " Come here. It's okay we can leave." Johnny soothed taking her in his arms to try to calm her. Feeling sick , Nicci pulled away from him. Johnny could tell by the look on her face that something was terribly wrong. Her face had paled and she was shaking uncontrolable. " Nicci?" Johnny questioned " Johnny I don't feel so good." She whimpered putting her hand over her mouth. Then without any warning she bolted over to the row of trash cans with Johnny at her side. Then watching in horror, Johnny supported her head while she vomited " No dont' hurt me." Nicci cried out in fear, pushing his hand away. Having witnessed the whole scene, Roy and the Captain rushed over to try to help. They stopped short what they noticed that she was throwing up blood." Johnny what's wrong with her should I call an ambulance?" Roy wanted to know walking up closer " No you don't have to call, nothing's wrong Roy." Johnny assured " I'm sorry Johnny. I didn't mean to." Nicci cried as her vomiting came to a end " Shhhh Nicci, you didn't do anything wrong." Johnny soothed " Here lets go inside, you can wash up then I'll take you back." ......... Returning to the back yard, Johnny walked Nicci over to the gate." I'll be with you in a minute, I want to go tell them goodbye okay." Johnny walked over to the table where his friends were still talking about what they had witnessed." I'm going to take her back now." Stanley looking over to Nicci seeing that she was still shaking." Is she going to be alright?" Why was she throwing up blood?" He wanted to know " It's just something she does." Johnny said." I'll see you guys Monday okay." .............. In silence, Johnny drove her back to the clinic. Catching a side glimsp, he could see she was still shaking. He didn't know what it was that upset her, but it was enough to make her vomit. Pulling up to the clinic, he turned off the engine." Nicci, what happened back there? You want to talk about it?" Johnny spoke softly Looking down at the ground Nicci spoke." Your partner knows Johnny, he was starring at my arms. He didn't want me there." " Oh Nicci, I dont' think he meant anything by it. Roy is a good person. If he wasn' t he wouldn't be a friend." " Maybe your right, but I'm so tired of feeling that no matter where I go, I'm not wanted. Seems the only time someone ever wanted me is when I was turning a trick. " Nicci cried wiping her tears." Oh sure I know the only thing they wanted was a piece of ass but at least they wanted me. " Nicci cried." Sometimes I even got lucky and they told me they loved me. I know they didn't mean it but it sure felt good to hear." " I'm so sorry." Johnny said soothingly allowing her let go of some of the hurt. " It's not you fault Johnny it's mine. I'm the one who fucked my life up, not you. I know in my heart that a person plays the cards that life has given them. But do you have any idea how many times I've thought about folding my hand and giving up." Johnny fought his tears as he listened to the pain she had felt for so long. He could not bare the thought of her taking her life but he knew that she was serious. With those thoughts, he pulled her in his arms and held her close as she wept." Oh Nicci I want you so much. and I love you." Johnny whispered lovingly in her ear. " Johnny dont' say you love me cause I can't love you back and how can you possibly want something like me, I'm just not worth it. " Nicci cried " Oh Nicci don't say that, you were worth everything to me then and still are. I never once stopped loving you." Johnny soothed allowing her to let go a portion of the pain she hab bottled up. After a time Johnny looked down to see Nicci had fallen asleep. Johnny gently took her in his arms and carried her back to her room. Just before leaving Johnny bent over and kissed her goodbye. .......Two days later........ As Johnny sat in the parking lot at the station he wondered how he was going to talk to Roy and the others about Nicci. He knew they would ask questions, questions he didn't know how to answer. He knew he couldn't tell them everything but he had to tell them something because of the fact they would probably be seeing her again. ...... As Roy watched Johnny walk into the day room he could see the worry etched on his face." You okay Junior?" Roy asked " Yeah I'm okay." Johnny answered sinking into a chair." I guess I should apologize for Saturday." " No problem I think I understand. How's Nicci?" Roy asked sitting a cup of coffee in front of Johnny. " I dont' know Roy, I just don't know. She had a real rough weekend." Johnny said fighting his tears " Can you level with me and tell me why she wanted to leave?" Roy asked Johnny looked up at his partner." It's because of you Roy. She didn't think you wanted her there. She knew you saw her arms " " I'm Sorry, but I didn't mean to make her feel that she wasn't welcome." "I think we all saw her arms, She's an addict isn't she?" Chet said " Don't say it like that." Johnny pleaded looking at Chet with a glare " Well she is." Chet said " Never mind, I should have known how you guys react." Johnny said getting up from the table in a huff. " Johnny please sit down. That is only Chets oppinion not ours. I like to think that we are caring people, after all we pull people out of fires everyday and drug addition is really no differant. One can kill just as easy as the other." Roy said With those words, Johnny sat back down at the table starring down into his coffee. Seeing Johnny stare into his coffee Captain Stanley spoke ." You can talk to us Pal, like I said before we're all family here, whatever you tell us wont leave this room." " What can I say Capt, I guess Chet's right she is an addict and she knows she's made mistakes in her life that she regrets. But the last thing she needs is to be looked down on. What she needs is people to accept her for who she is and not hold what she's done against her." " Johnny I didn't mean to look down on her. I just can't understand how she can hurt herself like that." Chet said " Chet you have to understand, people that get strung out look at it as a way to stop their hurt. Every single addict out there has their own pain and Nicci is no exception." Johnny said. " Now I know I told you guys that she wasn't sick, but she is, more then we know. I've come so close to losing her that it scared the hell out of me. I want to help but there's nothing I can do, It's up to her and from what she said Saturday I don't know she's strong enough mentally to help herself." " Why what did she say?" Mike asked " She said somthing about people playing the cards their dealt with in life and that she thought about folding her cards and giving up." Johnny said trying to be strong " Junior we know she's sick, we saw her throwing up blood. From what you just said she already has given up. Now I dont care how she got that way. That's not really important because it's in the past. We can see that you are concerned and I think I speak for everyone when I say we're here for you and her." Roy soothed Placing a hand on Johnny's shoulder Captain Stanley spoke." Roy's right we are your friends and we will be there if you need us." " Thanks Guys." TBC |