Well, it's official. I think Dr. Phil has saved my life. LOL. Well, maybe not saved it but definitely improved it. As some of you know I've been whining about my weight lately. I bought Dr. Phil's Ultimate Weight Loss Solution book a while back and promptly lost it. Then after I had to go shopping for an outfit for the Honor Society Induction, I got really depressed cause I hadn't really realized how out of control my weight had gotten. So Patrick and I did a hard core search for the book and I started reading it.

Wow! It's awesome. Am not a believer in diets (they never work for me or if they do they are impossible to stick to for long) but this book is perfect for me. I have food issues to say the least (this my nice way of saying that I am an emotional eater). His approach to weight loss is psychological and common sense. I learned things about myself that I hadn't realized while reading it.

The plan you create for yourself is not hard to stick to. I haven't even craved chocolate... not once! That is amazing. And I'm a sugar-a-holic (I used to drink a case of mountain dew in 2-3 days), but with all the fresh fruit I'm not even craving sugar. You don't count calories, not really. It's life style changes and changes in what you eat (and it's quality). The hardest thing I'm having trouble sticking with is.. lol.. you guessed it.. the exercise.. I didn't start doing that right away but when I saw results I thought, "Just thing about how much better the results would be if you were exercising too." So I'm back to "Walking Away the Pounds" 2mls a day.

Walk Away the Pounds is an exercise tape I highly reccomend to anyone who wants to try it. I hate exercise, I hate to sweat, and I'm a couch potato of the first order, but I can still get up and do it. It's low impact, you aren't sore afterward, you do work up quite a sweat, but it's not painful.

I have lost about 6 -10 pounds (couldn't measure till I could afford to buy a scale this week) in the last two weeks. I've lost 3 of those in the last two days. My goal is to lose 8 lbs a month to hit my goal weight September 20, 2007.

The great thing is that I already have more energy. I was tired all the time before. If I was at home I barely wanted to move and with my crazy schedule, Home equaled down time. I'm excited about this though, and believe me that is a first. LOL. I'm never excited about the prospect of a diet or exercise. So I figured I'd share my excitement with all of you. *grin*

Losing weight is part of my getting healthy goals this year. I've been saying I'm going to quit smoking when I turn thirty. May 12 is my last day to smoke. Laura did it when she turned 40 and if she can do it, I can. Right? Luckily for me the 13th of May is a full moon and Laura said it would be easier to do it then. Seems like the Universe is on my side on this one. So I'm quitting and Patrick says he's going to quit too. I'm planning to take the 200$ we save a month (cause that's how much we spend on cigs) and join the St. Robert fitness center. It's 40 something a month and cheaper than smoking.

The reasons why I started the losing weight thing was because I was feeling so down about my weight. I don't like the way I look anymore and I used to be pretty confident in my looks. I also wanted to have some kind of safeguard in place before I quit smoking because people usually put on a bunch of weight when they quit. I absolutely can't afford to gain anymore weight. Sigh. I am over 100 lbs. overweight. I have all these cute clothes from pre-kids and pre-ex husband that I have hung onto, hoping to fit into again one day. I have decided that instead of hoping to fit into them, I am going to fit into them. Or come as close to humanly possible since the changes in body after having children (lol, the hips are wider).

The reason why I am posting this all in my blog is because Dr. Phil says you need to create accountability for yourself. So that's what I'm doing. I'm telling the world what I'm up to so that I will stick to it. It's sort of embarrassing to tell the world that you are on this program and then you fail at it. I have to say though, this is almost fail proof if a person is committed to it.. So here goes, take a deep breath.. lol.. Here comes the cold hard truth:

When I got pregnant with Dayanera I wore a size 18. I had put on a little bit of weight right before I got pregnant with her and had been wearing a size 16. I have no idea what I weighed at that point, I'm guessing somewhere around 250 lbs. My ideal weight is about 175-185 because of my height and build (6ft tall with large frame). At my ideal weight I wear about 12 to a 14. After Dayanera was born I weighed 312. God, that was alot to put on with a kid. I never lost any of it either. When I got pregnant with Maverick I was determined not to put on any weight and I didn't. I gained one pound throughout the pregnancy and when Maverick was born I weighed 313 (walk away the pounds did that for me and a Doc that said it was ok not to put on any weight and be pregnant). After he was born I didn't lose any weight then either, I gained about 10 pounds or so.. maybe more cause I don't know how much I weighed before I started losing weight. Today I weigh 309 lbs. Geez that was hard to write. But keeping my weight a secret has only made losing it harder.

It's been very easy to stay fat. I'm healthy, don't have high blood pressure, am not diabetic, or have any other health problems that I should have at this weight. That's not necessarily a good thing because I get to tell myself that I'm healthy even though I am over 100 lbs over weight. The truth is, though, how healthy can I be? Or will I be if I continue this way? I've been climbing up to this weight over the last 4 years and bouncing around in the sizes since the teen years.

Anyway, there's my story and my accountability. I'm keeping a food diary, eating healthy and not dieting, and I'm exercising. I'm using Dr. Phil's tools and so far it's working. This is something I can live with. So as friends and family members, do me a favor and don't offer me stuff that's bad for me. And if I am not doing what I'm supposed to do, gripe at me for it.

Blessings,

Natalie