Went shopping today,

Am now filled with dismay.

When did I get so fat?

Where's my figure at?

I have a ton of reasons why,

and none of them are a lie.

I am tired, busy, and broke.

All I really want is a nice soak.

Who has time or money for the gym?

My cup is filled to the brim.

I hate skinny little blonde girls,

with their perfect bodies and curls.

I see them on tv and in the street,

and all I wanna do is see them beat.

I shouldn't be so bitchy to them,

after all, it's hard to be a beautiful fem.The sad thing is I was once like that,

at least until I got fat.

Oh I was never bone thin,

but curvy and confident.. I could win.

That was so long ago.. 9 years at least,

Oh chocolate ice cream... you beast!

Bread, cheese, pasta, and any kind of cake,

That's where I went wrong for goodness sake!

What I need now is exercise,

I know that's what's wise.

The problem is motivational time,

and maybe a partner in crime.

No wait, a partner in pain is what I need now,

If you'll help, I'll come up with the money some how.

LOL, I know what I'll do to have the money!

I'll buy less groceries and say sorry honey.

You don't really need to eat anyway,

a thinner wife you'll have for that pay.

sigh... it's hard to be a chick,

and guys don't understand a lick.

They love us but don't get it,

There's so much pressure to be fit.

Well, we'll see how it goes and I'll end my terrible rhyme,

I no longer have time to write because it's bath time.

Gotta get the babies clean and in bed,

dressed, and stories read.

Gotta go pick up my other half,

Gotta cash his paycheck and try not to laugh.

Gotta let Wal-Mart have most of the check,

Gotta make it home without a wreck.

Gotta spend that precious time with my honey,

Gotta get in bed and not be depressed about money.

Gotta go now and fast,

Don't forget to read my blast.