Well, I just got done reading through my last few blog entries and realized that I have not been very positive lately. To say the least. LOL. I have been so focused on my stress that I haven't stopped to breath. Patrick's son's mother commented on my last blog entry and told me to breath. Actually that's very good advice. LOL. I say that to people all the time. So I think I will. Today is Friday, I am going to stay in my jammies all day, I'm not going to work on my homework till tonight, and I'm going to spend the day doing something enjoyable.

I actually do enjoy blogging. It's as close as I get to writing these days. I've always been a journal keeper, I even keep journals for each of my kids. Those journals are letters to the kids at various times since they've been born. I wrote them letters when I was pregnant with them, telling them what was going on. I wrote letters to them about their milestones and about things that were going on in our lives. My plan is to give them to them when they are parents themselves, so they can see what it's like. You know, the good, the bad, the emotional... all of it. It's a way to explain the choices I make, let them know what they were like as babies/kids, and have some insight into me as their mother. Can't wait to see what those letters look like when the kids are teens. LOL. Patrick even writes in them occasionally, with a short note to them to tell them about his experiences with them.

Oh I do have some good news! I'm actually excited about this. Patrick and I are going to the Witch's Ball in St. Louis a week from Friday. I bugged him about it and he finally asked Rita if he could have that night off so we are going. Grandma took me shopping for my ball gown last Saturday. I didn't think I was going to get to go shopping for it, but Amanda came through for me. She rocks! She watched the kids and picked Patrick up from class so I could go. This was an interesting shopping trip to say the least. I had wanted to go with Kerry, but since it was last minute and I was on extremely limited time it didn't happen. I'm hoping me, Kerry, and Amanda can up to Springfield to go shopping before Yule/xmas.

But anyway, I have to tell you this story. First thing you have to keep in mind is that I had to be home by 3 so I could take Patrick to work, which meant we had to leave Springfield by 1:30. Now with that in mind, I'll tell you the story of this shopping trip. We left at 9:30 and got to Springfield at around 11. Grandma had to go to the mall because she needed to pick up Jerrica's (my 11 year old sister) Glamour Shots pics. Those were gorgeous by the way. So we drove down Glenstone because I was looking for the Secret Garden. The Secret Garden is this bridal/formal shop that sells Jeannie Nitro gowns. They are sort of gothic, which would be perfect for this ball. They look kinda  Renaissance/Medieval. Anyway, they went and moved on me. Back in my bridal days, when I did gowns and stuff, they moved into the old Ethel Barclay company. Not there anymore. So we couldn't find it. I looked all over the place on the way to the mall.

Now here's the comical part of me trying to find a dress. LOL. I have a 49 inch chest. It's hard to find one off the rack that fits. I used to be in this business, actually being hard to fit was the reason why I learned to sew. And on top of that, I'm six feet tall... now tallness isn't a problem in formals because they are made to fit models. Models are that tall, so I don't end up with knee length dresses... it's the boobs that are a problem. LOL. When I got married the first time I had to buy a dress two sizes too big so that I could fit my chest. Models aren't walking around with DD cups. Nice to know I have SOMETHING over on a model. LOL. But anyway, so I went to every store in the mall and nothing. I have never been so honest with anyone about what size I wear or my measurements in my life! Finally, I'm at Glamour Shots waiting for Grandma and the girls in there look up Secret Garden's number so I can call them on my cell. Guess what? We drove right by it and didn't see it. They had moved, right down the street. LOL.

By this time Grandma is whining about being hungry. I love her but she's all about her stomach sometimes. She wanted to go to the Olive Garden, which I would have loved to do, but we didn't have time. It was like 12:30 by this time and we had to leave Springfield in an hour. I was already thinking I was going to have to make my dress, which I do not have time for.

Now I have to tell you about Grandma, for those of you who don't know her. She's a riot and the sweetest person on the face of the earth. She's all about the food. I can honestly trace all my food issues back to her, Goddess love her. LOL. She likes to spend about two hours eating. She truely enjoys a meal and will drive all over the earth for a free one. LOL. I cannot figure out how she doesn't weigh 300 pounds with the way she eats, but she isnt' fat, a little pudgy but definitely not fat. So keep this food issue in mind while we go back to hunting for the Secret Garden.

I got directions to the Secret Garden and we found it with no problem. Hooray! I had an hour left before I absolutely had to leave Springfield and a store full of dresses. Well, guess what? No Jeannie Nitro. Yup. I was disappointed. The owner has sold out to another bridal shop and is liquidating her inventory. I perk up. SALE! I love sales. LOL. Everything is half off! So I explain to the woman what the problem is with fitting me and have her point me in the direction of the dresses most likely to come close. I decided if it came close enough and was made right,  I could just alter it when I got home. I tried on nine dresses. The first one I tried on is the one I ended up buying. All the others were too big or too small. The woman kept assuring me that if I could get it zipped to my lower back they could put laces in to accomodate my chest. I kept telling her that the ball was in two weeks and we didn't have time for it. Anyway, I really like the gown I bought.

It was the first one I tried on and it's really tight acrossed my chest. It's strapless, which is the only thing I don't like about it, but I can wear a shawl or cloak to cover up my fat arms. LOL. Now girls, I'm thirty. Stuff is not where it used to be. LOL. You know gravity has been kicking me in the butt for a few years now. So I was really iffy about wearing something strapless, especially something I was not going to be able to wear a bra with. But even my Grandma says it looks ok, so I'm going to believe her. LOL. The gown is beautiful. It's teal and covered with sequins and beads. As soon as I got it home I tried it on to see if I had a jacket or something that would work with it. Which of course I don't. LOL. Isn't that how it usually works?

But anyway, back to this shopping trip. I finally decided I was going to get that gown after we'd been there for about 45 minutes. We had fifteen minutes left. I wanted to go to JoAnne's fabric to see if they had something that would go with it, in case I didn't have anything at home. I was going to make myself a cloak, wrap, or shawl. We rushed over to JoAnne's, Grandma grumbling about the Olive Garden the whole way. LOL. Guess what? JoAnne's was having a SALE! YAY! I love fabric sales. I could spend hours in there... too bad I only had fifteen minutes. I headed straight for the clearance room. Found the most beautiful stuff. It's black and has vines of flowers on it that look like roses with thorns. Very witchy/gothic. Perfect for this ball. The woman cutting fabric is the slowest woman in the free world. Ugghh. She took ten minutes screwing around before we finally got to the register.

Remember, I had to leave at 1:30? Well, it was 1:45 by the time we got out of JoAnne's. This is when Grandma really starts to gripe about eating. So I tell her we can hit Burger King or something. I'm thinking drive through. She's driving. No, she has to go in and sit down to eat. I can't complain too much because she just paid 160$ for my dress and 20$ for my fabric (which I have to pay her back for at tax time). So she takes forever to eat! We don't leave Springfield until almost 2:30. 

I moan and groan to Grandma that Patrick is going to be mad cause he's going to be late for work. So she does her little old lady from Pasedena impersonation. She's doing 80 on the interstate. LOL. 20 miles out of Lebanon I call Patrick to tell him to have the kids ready and in the car when I get there. LOL. Of course he's mad and tells me that I was irresponsible. To which I told him to bite me. LOL. It wasn't my fault. Anyway, Grandma trucked it and we made it from Springfield to home in 45 minutes. LOL. That's usually over an hour drive. I got home by 3:15. He was waiting at the top of the road, kids in the car, when I got here. I hauled it and he made it to work five minutes late. LOL.

He didn't stay mad long. LOL. I tried the gown on when he got home and I was forgiven. *grin*. LOL. Men are easy. So now I'm presented with the problem of how to make this gown look a bit more witchy for this ball. I think I'm going to make a cloak out of the fabric I bought. It's see through black fabric, and with the black embroidered thorny roses, it looks gothic enough. I think, anyway. I have some silver fabric that I bought for the cloaks for the Samhain Party. I thought I'd make the see through cloak and then after the ball I'd add the silver as lining and it would be a wicked cloak for the Samhain party. It's going to be one of the prizes for the costume contest. If we even have the party at this point, but I'm not going to get started on that.  Anyway, that's a pic of the gown. Don't pay any attention to the look on my face. LOL. Patrick made a comment about me falling out of it because I was yanking it up just before he took the picture. Anyway, I hope you all like it.

Blessings,

Natalie/Em