8-11-01

Title: ? (Who knows. Any suggestions?)
Author: Mair (Aim: MairWS)
Pairings: 2+1+2
Genre: Drama (Duh...)
Warnings: Uh, angst... slight AU... little bit of sugar.
Archive: Oh hell yes! Just lemme know where so I may praise your many virtues on my site!
Disclaimer: I own nothing. *thppt*

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I can't believe he was here and fuckin' sayin' all this to me. "I said goodbye" psheah right! God this hurt tearing all of this out and launching it at him, but it also felt very good.

"Why did you come here Heero. Tell me the truth." He fuckin' owes it to me.

I glare at him. It must be worthy of him because he almost flinched. I wait.

"I missed you." He finally said.

"Well sheeeeeiiiiit Heero. You're becoming human." I can't believe I just said that to him. I've wanted him for how long and I just told him -that-. "You missed me. How long did it take you to figure that one?"

His face is a mask now. He must be confused at the way I'm acting but right now I'm hurting too much to care to reach out and console him. In fact, I don't really want to. His coming here has ripped me wide open. I know I'll never be able to kill myself now unless he walks out and gets on that boat and takes off. My feelings about him won't stay silent tonight and it's only a matter of time.

He hasn't answered yet. "Heero, I fuckin' waited a month, a month! A month for anyone to come back or call or show that they cared anything about me. Every day a piece of me died. You people must think that friends grow on trees for me. Well let me clue you in on something. They don't. And after the war I didn't feel the overwhelming desire to pretend that I wasn't involved in any way with the war and play happy innocent nice to all of those people that didn't know the real me and would be freaked out if they did." I paused to take a breath. This really hurt to say. It felt like I had a raw wound shooting through my body and I was leakin' fast out of it.

"I didn't know what I missed until after a month."

I gaped at him. "You didn't... And what do you mean by that?"

"I missed you Duo. You weren't there to talk to me, to interupt me, you weren't there to remind me that I was trying to live instead of just being alive."

Duo closed his eyes. The lonliness hit me full force again. "And you took 5 months tracking me down? You could have called."

"I didn't have a phone number. I didn't have a forwarding address. I had 5 doctors that told me they gave you a hand with a decontamination effort in California. Do you know how many places there are that have biological warfare chemicals that leaked? Do you know how many of those were OZ bases?" Heero paused and Duo felt a hand force his chin up. He opened his eyes.

"It took me that long to find you because I don't want to be alone."

Tears welled up in his eyes again. He didn't want to start crying in front of Heero. Not now. "Heero... I don't know if I can accept that... I don't want to be alone either but I don't know if you'd survive."

Heero raised an eyebrow as he studied him.

"I'm cursed Heero..." he swallowed, holding Heero's eyes. "Everyone I love dies."

Heero blinked. His hand moved to caress Duo's cheek, leaving the chin in the process. "If I can survive blowing up my gundam, surely I can survive your love. I know I can if you accept mine in return."

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