Hello, Umm well this is my angst demons fault. He kidnapped my muse and wouldn't 

return him until I wrote this. So I did. The poem isn't mine, and if you want to know

were it's from the just ask (I'm feeling lazy). Thanks to my wonderful beta reader

Misuzu ^___^ without you I don't think this would be readable. That it and C&C 

are always welcome or say Hi. And now Loki where my muse?!

Loki: Muse? mmmm oh ya. I mailed him to Alaska. 

Hoshi: What!!!

Title: Clover

By: Hoshi

Rating: PG-13 

Warnings: Yaoi, Really mild lime, (blink and you'll miss it), and lot of angst. 

Pairings: 1X2, 1+R

Archive: If you want this fic, (but I doubt anyone does) just email me at

 [email protected] 

Disclaimers: Guess what, I don't own Gundam Wing or the character also I don't 

own this poem. It belongs to the authors of clover, someone really rich does.

If you happen to be that person PLEASE DON'T SUE ME. I have nothing well 

two muses, a frog and maybe a soul, but that up for debate.  

 Summery: From Duo P.O.V.   It as angst letter to Heero. 

<….> = the poem

Dear Heero, 

<If you find a four-leaf clover,

It will bring happiness;> 

I'm sitting here, watching you standing proud and cold on the T.V.  I guess that's 

why I fell in love with you. I remember our first meeting. You pointing a gun at an 

innocent girl, but Relena's not innocent, is she? From our first meeting, I knew

you would destroy me and you did.  

<But

Keep it a secret 

Where the white flower blooms

Or how many leaflets from its stem extend.> 

I stare at the screen; the whole world is watching. I should've guessed you would 

end up with Relena. Heero, you were, at first, the most annoying person I've ever

 met. And I know you hated me. We were exact opposites and I wonder how I fell 

into bed with you.    I always thought of you as my lover, but I was wrong. You

should've … I don't know, maybe it's my fault for wishing.  I must be going crazy. 

But I don't have anyone to talk to. The others hate me too.   

 <A four-leaf clover.>  

 You are like a wild bird. I can love you, but never be with you.  Now you're with

 Relena. You knew back then, we would never be together. But I live in ignorance's

 bliss. Why didn't you tell me? You were my luck. My hope. My fallen dream come 

to Earth.  "I always thought we would get a house somewhere and raise two 

children."  children. Now look at me.  I don't tell jokes anymore. Not after you 

left, not after I found out. 

<I only want your happiness, knowing

I can never be yours to share it.> 

Maybe if you had killed Relena that day, I would be marrying you. I saved her. If 

I hadn't intervened she would be dead. I see the smile, a very small smile, on your

face as the bride walks up to you. If she died you wouldn't be happy. I know if 

she were dead, peace would've never happened, but I don't care about the

world, only your happiness.   

<I want happiness

I seek happiness

I want to be happy with you

I want to be your happiness>    

 All I wanted was a family.  Sister Helen told me about her childhood. Her father 

was a painter. They were poor, but happy. She and her sister would go to the beach

and play in the water. She told me about the stars, drops of heaven's treasure she

used to say. They were the souls of love one who watched over us, on the other 

side of the veil. Death never scared me, even now on the edge of life.  All I wished, all 

I hoped for was happiness.   

<So take me

Take me far away

To a true Elsewhere

Take me away> 

I went to earth and found you.  

<Everlasting magic 

Never-ending kiss 

A dream you cannot wake from

Happiness that can't be erased > 

I know… I hoped that in this chaos we would find happiness together, or at least a 

memory. For a brief moment, my dream came true. I had friends and hope. I had  

you. Remember our first kiss?  I do. That moment, that brief moment was magic 

to me. The whole world melted and I never wanted to wake up.  I knew you were

my soul mate…                

<Take me away

I want happiness> 

but I've been wrong so many times, and I know you will be happy.                        

<The birds sing

A poem in foreign words

Though winged, they

Still fail to reach the sky> 

We were all so young. We should have been worrying about school and crushes, not 

about saving the world. I should've guessed you didn't love me. You said that often 

at the end. It was a war, you said.  You never wanted to see me again, because it 

would make Relena cry. She is a shrew, but then again she is a politician. She has 

gotten everything she wanted, poor little rich girl. You're her bird in a golden cage,

but your wings were cut long ago.  

<Someplace where you cannot go  

Alone> 

I'm leaving this plane of existence to go to another place.  I'm dying. The doctors

say it's a rare form of poison that's slowly taking my life. It's all over L2, spread 

through its water and I'm dying of it.  I know that the government knows of the 

problem. That

 way it never rains on L2 ,to limit exposure. But a thousand people 

have died and thousand more will. But who cares about the poor. I bet Relena 

hasn't told you that. 

<So take me

To a true Elsewhere      

Drenched feathers 

Entwined fingers

Melting bodies

Fusing minds> 

I remember the first time we made love. You were my first, and it looks like the 

last.  It was on Howard's ship, before you ripped apart Deathsythe. I can still see 

the memory even as my eyesight goes. 

<Take me away

I want happiness> 

I tried to tell you, but you never answered. The others didn't either. I did talk to

Wufei once, but he just yelled at me before I even opened my mouth. He said he 

was busy and didn't want to hear me talk for an hour. The last word he said was 

baka. I can't wait to die. 

<I want your present

More than your past>                 

I see Wufei is your best man. I can see why you didn't want me there, It would

make Relena cry.  I wish I could see you one more time, just to say goodbye. 

<Pulling on the future 

Carefully winding back its fragile thread

That is about to fall apart>      

The doctor said I don't have much time left. Maybe a month at the most, I wish I 

could see the stars again. I know sister Helen is up there along with Solo. The stars

are my only link to them.  Well, until I die.  

<Take me away>  

My hand is starting to hurt. I figure that if I couldn't see you then at lest I could 

write. But I know you won't read this. 

<I want happiness> 

You'll be happy with Relena. 

<I want happiness

I seek happiness> 

I know that if you love me, you would have to watch me die. I've been through that.

Solo dying in my arms. Then Sister Helen.  I'm happy you won't have to go through 

that. I'm… 

<I want to be happy with you

I want to be your happiness> 

I'm glad you love Relena, but I know she'll break your heart. 

<So take me

To a true Elsewhere

Please take me there > 

I wish I could be with you as you marry her. I didn't even get an invitation. I know

that Quatre and Trowa will get married in the spring. I wish them happiness.

They are soul mates. I've always been jealous of their happiness. 

<Birds locked inside a birdcage

Birds deprived of flight

Birds deprived of song

Birds that cannot cry,

Birds left all alone.> 

I've been in this hell for three years. The nurses hate me, the street rat. They 

can't wait for me to die. I don't like them either.  I'm not even allowed outside.

I'm laying here in this colony.  I can't even see the stars or you. I picture you 

kissing Relena, she's laughing. I want to be happy too... 

<So take me

I want happiness.> 

I want a reunion. I want to die with my friends around me.  I want to be 

remembered, not forgotten. I don't want to die alone. I want…. 

<Just by being with you I am happy

Whenever you smile I am happy> 

I want you to walk down the isle with her. Everyone you love is there, I guess I'm 

just a street rat. 

<So take me

To a true Elsewhere> 

I read about grief. Yes I was angry with you for leaving but now ….. 

<Please take me there 

To happiness.> 

I remember so much but all of it hurts, like thorns to the heart. I tried to 

make everyone else happy, but never myself. I took so much life and just 

wanted to give back some happiness for all the grief..  

<My first emotions 

And my last wish,> 

I want to see my true family, my last family. But no one cared. I want the pain to 

stop. I lost so much weight, and you know what, they cut off my braid. It's all going

away Heero, all that will be left is this unread letter.  

<This is where the fairy waits 

The promised land made just for.

The two of us> 

 I know Solo's waiting for me.   I know he loved me. But I was death, not life. 

I am sorrow. I can never be happy.  Maybe even in death, the shadow of guilt will 

hunt me down. 

<So take me

Help me

To disregard the reality of day 

To stay in the dreamscape of night

For me to think of you for eternity>

I wish …… 

<If you find a four-leaf clover,

It will bring you happiness; 

but don't tell anyone

Where its white flower blooms> 

for your happiness.  

<Or how may leaflets from its stem extend> 

We had fun didn't we?  

<The four-leaved clover.> 

Now I will leave you alone. Think of this as a poor wedding gift, the only one I can 

give you. Bye from a street rat, a dreamer, a hopeless romantic, a broken soul, a 

dying light 

<I only want you to be happy, knowing

I can never be yours to share it.> 

Duo Maxwell 

End

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