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04/08/01 10:30PM - I have "I will Always Love you" in my head. The Whitney Houston version. I don't know why. I have always kinda detested that song. Go fig. Now I can't seem to get it out of my head. Behhind my thoughts, I hear Whitney screaming at the top of her lungs. I want it to stop. Make the little voices inside my head stop. PLEASE!!! =P I really like that song by Lifehouse "Hanging by a Moment." If only that were stuck inside my head instead.
I finally finished reading Jane Austen's Emma. Emma has been my latest reading project since Jane Eyre. I ended up watching the Gweneth Paltrow version of the movie "Emma" this afternoon. The producers and te writers did a good job about not deviating too much from the book. I like that. BTW Jeremy Northam ("Emma," "An Ideal Husband") and Hugh Jackman ("Someone Like You," "X-Men") ae going on my hottie list. =D They are totally cute! - I know I'm beginning to sound pathetic, but this is what happens when you've been single for 2 years!!!
The next few books i'm intening on reading are possibly The Lord of The Tings (entire series), Angela's Ashes, and/or Christopher Pike novels (The rest of the Last Vampire series). *sigh* I'm such a nerd!
04/06/01 11:59PM - Yup! That's twice in one day. After doing my entry this monring, I took a nap. Acually, I crashed is more like it. I slept from like 11AM until 3PM. Completely zonked out. I guess I was more tired than I thought I was. An any case, I had this wierd dream that my tooth was decaying and falling out. What does this mean? Sometime last week I was dreaming of snakes and maggots. I dunno. I can't really visualize it, or remember what happened, or any series of events. I just remember there were maggots last week and my teeth were falling out this week. Maybe I should stay away from Girl Scouts Cookies. Did I ever tell you about that??? I opened a package of their peanut butter sandwiches, and there were maggots crawling inside them. GROSS!!!!! I love those cookies, but eeh... Maggots? ...well, they are a good source of protein....
04/06/01 10:00AM - Over the past few days, I've been gowing increasingly disillusioned by the world we live in. You could say I'm bitter, or that I'm just in a sad state which makes me critical of everything. I find that I am often asking myself "am I really THAT bad of a person?" I have always believed that good things happen to good people, and bad things happen to those who are bad. Kind of like the Golden Rule - "Do unto others as they would do unto you." Yet for all the time that I have spent in my life trying to be honest, and kind; it seems as if I keep ending up with the short end of the stick. That does not mean that I'm going to stop being true to myself and my own nature, and it doesn't mean that I'm going to rebel, or lash out against soceity. What it does mean, is that I'm just gorwing increasingly bitter at my lot in life, especially my outlook towards those who seem to have an easy life and make a comfortable livelyhood. Envy, jealousy - whatever you call it, yup I've got it. I'm sure that people living a comfortable lifestyle have problems of their own, i'm just jeaous that they "seem" to have less problems than I do. Of course reality and what I perceive of tohers are two completely different things. I can admit to that. But let me wallow in my self pity for a bit, will ya!
My friend and I were talking last night about counselors. High school, Jr High, college counselors. It's strange how society looks up to these counselors and perceives them as people who are supposed to provide guidance and inspiration towards their studens. My freinds have all had nothing but bad experiences from theirs. There is something deeply wrong and tragic when your counselor is trying to keep you down and behind. I freinds have had counselors refuse to put them in a calss they wanted to take (and were capable of taking), because their counsleors told them they weren't smart enough. What's up with that!!!??? No wonder so many dislike school nowadays. If our counsleors, our peers, or the adutls we look up to keep putting people down like that - people will start to lose hope and soceity will fall apart. What happened to "the land of opportunity," and striving to be your best? How can we accomplish that when people are telling us that we cannot hack it, or aren't smart enough. Sad. No wonder I'm bitter...
04/04/01 2:46PM - There are some days where I just feel like ramling on this page, and others where I don't. Obviously, yesterday was one of the days that I didn't. Sometimes I have everything thought out in my head, and when I get to the keyboard, it's all gone. I really hate those days. It always seems like such a waste to me. I am at school right now, out of my own volition. I didn't have class today, but I figured I'd make a trip on campus, pick up my books, and read at the library. Well..two out of three ain't bad. =P So far I have accomplished absolutely nothing. Reading this child psychology text book remonds me about how much I really hate psychology and how much I really hate school. Great, huh? I'm 22 years old now and I still don't know what I want to do with my life, or what I really enjoy doing anymore. I'm about to graduate in a major I really dislike, and I'm unemployed. How depressing. I think It's time for a tub of ice cream. However, for some strange reason, I've been overcome by this sudden urge for yogurt What is this world coming to? Me? Craving yogurt???? Over ice cream???
04/03/01 10:25PM - I watched the David Copperfield special this evening on CBS. I missed all his specials. He used to have them on TV all the time until he got engaged to Claudia Schiffer. He didn't do whatever he was supposed to do in the tornado of fire, but the rest of his stuff was pretty cool. I think I shall have to add him to my "hottie" list. He IS very handsome. =) I remeber catching his show when he was in SD many years ago. I wonder if he's coming to SD again any time soon???
04/02/01 10:30PM - So my fingers are no longer numb, and now I can continue typing. =) Today I went out with lan to run some errands. We went to Barnes and Noble, where I picked up a few Christopher Pike novels I've been meaning to read. I know it's very Jr. High-ish, but I need to read fun things every once in a while! Then Lan went to get her pants altered. After her pants were measured, we headed out towards Fashion Valley. I retured some jeans I had pcked up on Fri at J Crew and bought myself a caraffe and cup set from Crate and Barrell. Lan bought a few glass voltive candle holders. While we were at Crate and Barrell, I also succeeded in breaking about $20.00 worth of merchandise. I'm such a clutz! I then went to Target and picked up 3 more novels (The Lord of The Rings "Trilogy," Angela's Ashes, and the sequel to Angela's Ashes - I can't recall the name at this time). I am such a book junkie. That's the one thing I thinkI can be proud of. I read. I enjoy and revel in reading for my own leisure.
I was cleaning my room over spring break (and yes, it is still a work in progress). My friends probably laughed as they read that last statement. I'ma total pack rat. I save everything, and thus, my room gets cluttered. I have what would probably be your typicl teenage boy's room. It's an absolute mess. I'm not proud of it, but that's the way it is. I literally have "a path." Most of the crap that's on the floor is just books, paperwork, and clothes. Nothing else. So it's not a disgusting mess, just a mess (FYI it's not longer just "a path," you can see floor now). I digress. I was cleaning my room, and I started putting away a lot of my books (leisure and textbooks), only to realize I have no more room in the two book shelves I have in my room. The books are literally two rows deep and piled on top of one another! I'm so proud of my collection. I only wish that I could find someone who has as much passion for reading and establishing a library as I do. Some of my freinds like reading, most of them don't; and a lot of the males that I know just dont' seem to enjoy reading that much. *sigh* such a travesty. There are some moments that I sometimes wish TV was never invented.
So back to Someone Like You. Basically Ashley Judd plays a woman jilted by the person she considered the man of her dreams. it's a story of how she got all mad at men, and then eventually found happiness. Why do I relate to the character? Because I want to find that right person for myself, as she was looking for the right person for her. Oka..okay... maybe I don't relate to her that much, but heck! I wouldn't mind shacking up with tge guy who plays her roomate!!!! =P .
04/02/01 9:10PM - Tomorrow school starts again. Well, at least for me. For the majoirty of the UCSD population, school started again today. I am just gloating because I have Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays off without any school. That's a 4-day weekend for me! =) Almost makes me not want to look for a job. Almost.... I need an income because I'm poor. This weekend was fun! After a week's delay, my friends and I celebrated my birthday! Yay! We had dinner at Mission Hills Cafe (yummy!) and then went to E-Street Allet again for clubbing. Clubbing didn't seem as fun this time becuase the music sucked. The DJ was horrid! The hip-hop room was playing ...crap! And the house/techno room kept slowing down and speeding up their music. It got really annoying. Oh well. It was just nice to hang out with my friends.
Yesterday I watched The Tailor of Panama, and Someone Like You. Tailor was the new Pierce Brosnan flick, and it was quite painful to watch. I left the movie theater going "huh?" Someone Like You is a total chick fluck, but I'd pay money to watch it again in the theaters. In some ways I feel like I relate to Ashley Judd's characher, but we'll save that discussion for next time. My fingers are quite numb and not cooperating with me for some reason, so I'm going to call it a night and update more another time.
03/28/01 2:30PM - Ahh..Spring break. I'm reading Emma (Jane Austen), because I'm a masochist and enjoy reading for my own pleasure. MY spring break has been rather un-eventful for the most part. I went to LA with Chau on Saturday and we went shopping (rather I went window shopping and Chau went shopping). Monday I got my hair cut and then went out wiht my mom. We went to the Lake Elsinore outlet to shop for "onesies" for James. On the way home, we went to Pachenga, an indian gaming casino. I lost about $30.00, my mom won enough to share her wealth with the family. Yestready I drove up to Palm Springs with Lan and Chau. We went to the Cabazon outlet there and did some more damage to our wallets. I turned a 2-1/2 hour drive into a 1-1/2 hour drive. Go speed racer! Go! =P For all the driving I did yesterday, I came home with a gift for a friend's upcoming B-day, 2 black tank tops, a wallet, and 7 pairs of leggins (of which my sister willl get 1 tank top and 3 leggings). Pathetic. I could have bought more, but there really wasn't anything that caught my eye, and the things that I almost purchased were rather impractical. Grrr... I may have to go drag Chau shopping again today. Alas, I'm almost shopped out now.
My job search continues. I'm either severley over-qualified or under-qualified for any positions. I'm getting really frustrated because it seems as if nothing really interests me anymore. I am so lost as to what I want to do with my life. I think that's the scariest thing of all. I'm 22 now, and I still don't know what I want to do. How sad is that?