Jokes 6 -- "Mixed Jokes"
Eleven people were holding on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one
woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that
one had to leave, otherwise they are all going to fall. They could not decide
which person, until the woman made a very touching speech. She said that she
would voluntarily let go off the rope, because as a woman she was used to giving
up everything for her husband and kids, or for men in general, without ever
getting anything in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men
started clapping their hands...?
Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter : Sit down, sir, we serve anyone.
Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Customer : No, I can't.
Waiter : Then does it really matter?
Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter : That's all right, Sir, he won't drink much.
Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter : So what do you! Expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea cup?
Waiter : I wouldn't know, Sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.
Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter : Funny? But why aren't you laughing?
Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get mummy then?
Peter : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is is blue with red spots!
Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I' ve got another pair of the same at home.
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
First Guy (proudly): My wife's an angel!!
Second Guy : You're fortunate, mine's still alive.
A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded, Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda.
Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Penang in two days time?
Post Master : Well it might do.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Johor.
An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist. My trouble is, he said that, "I keep forgetting things."
How long has this been going on? asked the psychiatrist.
How long has what been going on? said the man.
1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.
Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.
Teacher : Correct the sentence, A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.
Question : Why did you throw the butter out of the window?
Answer : I wanted to see a butterfly.
